


Coming Out

by orphan_account



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, Car Accidents, Coming Out, Denial, Fluff, Heartbreak, Jealousy, M/M, Paris (City), Sex Toys, Smutt, Tragedy, love over a long distance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-24
Updated: 2016-07-01
Packaged: 2018-05-16 00:01:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 86,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5805472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Aaron goes to stay with Ed, Robert feels devastated that Aaron isn't ready to give their relationship a chance. He decides he needs to learn what it means to be out and proud so he can eventually prove himself to Aaron. He meets a twink who helps him come to terms with coming out so will his strategy work and will Aaron ever take him back?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Insp. by a tumblr post of @bisexualsugden which referred to the fact that if Aaron went to stay with Ed, that would cause some interesting drama with a lot of vvvt interpretation.

Robert stood nursing his drink, his eyes scanning the Friday night crowd. He was here on a mission but his resolve was beginning to fade. He loved Aaron; he was in love with Aaron, he’d come to terms with that now. So what was he even doing at Bar West, eyeing up the talent?

He took a sip of his drink and sighed. Aaron had gone to France to Ed. Even the thought of it created pain, body and soul, radiating from his heart. If he could cut it out then he would. It would be easier to live without it.

With all the Gordon stuff, Aaron had been left drained and in need of healing. Robert had been true to his word. He’d been there for him, by his side, his sole aim to be the support he needed. Seeing Aaron go through all that torture had been agony, but it had only served to deepen his love, seeing how brave he was.

Then the kiss had happened. They hadn’t planned on the kiss, he hadn’t initiated it, but when it happened he knew that his life would never be the same again. Aaron was end game for him. Aaron was his life.

It was simple, but like everything else for them, it was anything but simple.

Aaron had called him out for being in the closet. He’d asked him how he could possibly expect him to have a relationship with someone in denial. Robert had tried to convince him he was ready to change, but Aaron wouldn’t believe him. And he’d messed up before they even began. He’d shied away from touching in public and seen the hurt in Aaron’s eyes. He’d slipped up, calling Aaron a mate and not a boyfriend when they’d bumped into a colleague. He couldn't actually say the words he was supposed to say: I am...   And Aaron had told him he couldn’t hack it.

"I love ya." Robert had told him, yet again.

"It’s not enough." Aaron had answered. "Sorry. I can’t go back to sneaking around."

He’d packed his stuff and taken the Eurostar from Leeds.

He hadn’t picked up Robert’s calls, but he’d texted.

**_You’re not ready and I can’t force you. See you around._ **

And Robert had fallen apart. This time the worst ever. The thought of Aaron with Ed drove him out of his mind. OK, so Aaron wasn’t interested, but Ed was! How long before Aaron caved to the familiar comfort of a ready relationship? Maybe they already had, drinking blonde beer together, reminiscing about past summers. Robert tightened his grip on his drink. And Ed wasn’t buried deep in the back of the closet, was he?

 He knew he couldn’t get Aaron back unless he came out properly, which meant more than words. It meant the attitude behind those words.

So he decided on a radical strategy.

He was going to learn how to be out, he decided. Hands on learning. Practical not theory. It would take time, but he would get there. And that’s why he was here at Bar West, propping up the bar, looking for a potential boyfriend. Someone to teach him. And someone as evidence.

Maybe if Aaron heard he had a boyfriend, Aaron would come home.

Faced with reality, Robert knew he’d not really thought this through, because right now, looking around, he, Robert Sugden, didn’t fancy a single bloke in the place. How could he? After Aaron? He’d probably best just go home.

He’d just finish his beer and then go.

It was ages, in fact, since he’d picked someone up at all. Not that he’d ever lacked confidence. In the past, he reflected, he’d only had one simple aim; a fuck, not a friend. Especially when he’d met Chrissie and was under time pressure, it would have been a quick fuck too, in the back of a car, or up against a wall in the dark. Though he’d also had plenty of one night stands in hotels, before Chrissie, and once or twice since.

Then he’d met Aaron and the rest was history.

Now he couldn’t even remember how long it was since he slept with someone. Was he prematurely middle aged? Now he’d hit thirty, perhaps his biological clock had programmed him to settle down. That could be it.

The reality was he didn’t want anyone except Aaron. But Aaron was in France with Ed, and had given up on him.

It was just then, he heard a voice at his shoulder. The music was loud, combined with the Friday night chatter and laughter of the bar goers it was difficult to hear. He turned to look at the person who’d spoken to him.

"Can I buy you another drink?"

Robert tried not to sneer, but failed.

"You?"

The boy blinked fast and put his head on one side, keeping up a forced cheery smile.

"Yes. And why not?"

"Are you old enough to be drinking, at all?"

"I’m nineteen. As far as I’m aware that’s over the legal age limit."

Robert looked the boy up and down, then turned away.

"Buy a drink for someone your own age, eh?"

The boy moved round, following him.

"You sure about that?" He smiled. "I wanted to buy one for you."

Robert looked more closely. The lad had a slender build. Looking at him, he had striking blue eyes that were probably the reason, along with smooth skin on his face, that he looked so young. His dark hair was short with the locks falling in a fringe onto his forehead. He had nice white teeth when he smiled, which he seemed to do constantly, looking up at Robert.

"So can I?"  he repeated "buy you a drink?"

He leaned over the bar, and the bar man leaned forward towards him with a grin. Not the moody face he’d given Robert earlier, then.

"Hi, how can I help you?"

Robert watched with interest.

"Too lagers and two tequila shots with lime." The lad ordered.

He passed one lager to Robert, and put the shots in front of them.

"I’m Dylan. You are…?"

"Robert."

"Cheers then, Robbie!"

"Are you high?" Robert asked, feeling like a parent, but downing the shot in one anyway.

"No, but I have big plans for the evening now I’ve met you."

He waved his hand at the barman and ordered two more shots.

Robert ordered the next ones.

"Are you out?"

He asked suddenly, the alcohol loosening his tongue.

Dylan laughed.

"Well, yes, of course. Being gay isn’t an issue these days, is it?" He paused looking sweetly at Robert’s face.  "You must be out, cos you’re a lot older than me."

"Well. I think I’m out cos, everybody knows, I suppose. But maybe it’s not enough."  Robert speculated.

 "Oh well ! Who cares? Do you want to dance?"  He grinned at Robert.

"No, but don’t let me stop you!"

The boy was in fact talented at dancing, Robert watched his body move.

After a while he moved closer to Robert and put his hands on Robert's hips as he swayed. He moved his mouth up for a kiss, stretching his eyes cheekily.

Robert held his shoulders pushing him back and shook his head.

"Come on, Robbie!" The boy laughed and grinned. "You must want it? You’re on your own, aren’t you? That was why you came here, wasn't it?"

 "Actually I was looking for more of a friend than a fuck." Robert stammered. This was all unfamiliar territory.

The boy looked bemused and looked up at him, biting his lip.

"Friends are good, but you know what? I’m nineteen and you seem sexy."

He moved his mouth close again. Robert felt his heart hammering. They started to kiss, Dylan circled his tongue fast against Robert’s and slid his fingers around the back of Robert’s neck.

"So, if you’d like to, I’d like you to fuck me."  He whispered into Robert’s ear.

Robert put down his glass. This hadn’t been his plan exactly. He could hardly turn up at the Woolpack with this kid as a boyfriend. But on the other hand, he needed to get back out there. And what would this be? Just sex after all: cheap, dirty, gratuitous sex, highly recommended as an escape from reality.

"OK. Let’s get out of here."


	2. Chapter 2

The question was where.

Having walked out of the club onto the pavement, Robert paused and considered his options. There was no way he could take this boy back to Victoria’s. He couldn’t do what he wanted to do, by now what he needed to do, under his sister’s roof, at least, not while she was under it too.

‘Your place?’ He swallowed looking into Dylan’s sparkling blue eyes.

 ‘What’s wrong with your place?’ The boy asked. ‘Oh God, are you married? Is that why you were asking about being out?’

Robert shook his head.

‘I’m getting a divorce actually, but that’s totally irrelevant. I live with my sister and her husband. It wouldn't be comfortable.’

‘So are you recently out?’ he asked. Robert just ignored the question. What was it to this kid anyway?

Dylan reached arms up around his shoulders, swaying.

Robert looked around him on the street, not wanting to be seen.

‘Well I can take you home. My parents probably wouldn’t mind.’

‘Oh God!’ Robert shook his head, appalled, before reflecting that Aaron lived with his Mum, too. Well, had lived with his Mum before he left to be with Ed. But Aaron had his reasons that meant he needed his Mum.

 Robert battled with the idea of a hotel, but it was too much, too soon.

‘You OK with a car?’

‘I don’t have a car. I don't even drive.’ Dylan replied.

‘No! My car! Mine.’  Robert snapped impatiently.

‘Where is it?’

‘In the city center car park.’

Dylan rolled his eyes, holding on to the front of Robert’s shirt. Robert had to agree, it was hardly a private location, right on the bus route, too. Being arrested for public indecency might be taking coming out a step too far.

‘You could drive us somewhere quieter.’ Dylan bit his lips.

‘Uh. Not unless I want to lose my licence!’

Maybe this was a mistake. In the cold air Robert felt himself begin to sober up. What did he think he was playing at anyway with this stranger? A 19 year old kid at that?

‘Listen…’ he started to speak.

Dylan put a finger up to Robert’s lips to stop him speaking.

‘Shush!’

He kissed his throat and then moved his lips again up to Robert’s mouth. Robert kissed him back, his eyes open looking down the street.

Robert saw a taxi and, quickly pushing Dylan to arm’s length, he hailed it.

‘Where are we going?’

‘I suppose I’ll have to take you home, after all.’

 

Aaron sat looking out at the Paris night sky bright from the city lights, in spite of the late hour. He was holding a very un-French cup of milky tea with two sugars, and toying with a piece of toast and marmalade.

He knew he should be drinking coffee here in France, but it was comforting to hold on to some of his Yorkshire habits. The truth was he was already homesick. He missed the cooked breakfast, the beer, the foggy countryside weather, speaking English, and the people; Adam, his Mum and Paddy. That was as far as he would allow himself to acknowledge. The fact that Robert was a constant presence haunting the corners of his mind, didn’t earn him the right to be added to the list of what Aaron missed.

Robert had no rights at all. He was a coward and a disappointment and Aaron had had enough of being let down.

They were done. And one day, soon, Aaron would wake up and Robert would be a memory rather than a feeling.

A memory of eyes, lips, of a voice that when you heard it, sounded like love, no matter what drivel was currently being spoken by the idiot.

Ed came into the room, a towel round his waist, his sportsman’s body toned. He smelled good after his shower.

‘Aaron, are you drinking tea?’ he laughed. 

Aaron nodded and allowed a small smile to play on his lips.

 

Vic and Adam were sitting on the sofa when they walked in.

 ‘Hiya! Oh? Who’s this then?’

Robert knew Vic well enough to read the surprise on her face.

‘Yeah, um. This is Dylan. Dylan this is Victoria, my sister and Adam, her husband.’

Dylan raised a hand and gave a slow wave in greeting, looking up at Robert from the corner of his eye.

‘We’ll, um, just be upstairs, right?’ Robert stuttered and started to ascend the steps, Dylan close behind him.

Adam turned slowly to Victoria.

‘What the hell...?’

‘I’ll speak to him tomorrow.’

Robert locked the bedroom door.

It was good that he’d sobered up, he reflected. This was the first time in so long, he wanted to enjoy it properly. He sat on the bed next to Dylan and put his hands up to his face, looking at his mesmerizing blue eyes. He suddenly noticed a shy, unsure look that he hadn’t noticed before.

So he leaned back. It was a big thing to take a taxi so far from the city with a stranger a lot older than you.

‘We, ah, we don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want.’ He said.

Dylan replied by pulling off his top.

‘I want to.’ He said.

 

Ed sat down near Aaron on the sofa.

Aaron glanced at how the skin creased over his abs, he could recall the feel under his fingertips. He looked down, avoiding Ed’s eyes.

‘I missed you a lot, you know.’ Ed spoke. ‘I was really upset when you left. I hadn’t expected it. I thought we were doing OK, and then, Bam! You just shut down on me and the next thing you were gone. And you hadn’t even told me to my face, I mean, getting a phone call like that, Aaron. It was hard for me.’

‘I know. And I know I hurt you. I’m really sorry. And I appreciate you letting me come back, now, when I needed it.’

‘So what did I do wrong?’

‘Nothing, mate. Really, nothing. I know it’s a cliché and that, but it wasn’t you. It was me.’

How could Aaron explain? Right now he wasn’t even sure himself what had been going on in his mind. He could only remember a feeling of suffocation, of being trapped. Ed had always been so kind, so direct and open, so steady and reliable. But Aaron had missed something, missed some spark, some unpredictability he really needed to make life meaningful. He’d felt like he couldn’t breathe. Now he wondered why. Reliability, openness, they sounded like the best qualities in the world after the past year and a half.

‘So why did you come back, Aaron?’

‘I had some trouble. It was really bad. Ed, you’ve been so good to me. Do you mind if I don’t tell you, yet. Maybe in my own time, mate?’

Ed leaned forward and took Aaron’s hand.

‘It’s fine, but can I ask you something personal. I think you were cutting again. Am I right?’

‘How did you know?’

‘I know you, Aaron. You’ve been here two weeks now. I’ve seen the clues.’

Aaron nodded. ‘I was, but I stopped.’

Ed took his hand.

‘Can I see?’ He asked gently.

Ed was the only person in the world who would ask, and who Aaron would trust to be calm. More than Robert, he recognized. It was probably normal after living together for nearly two years.

Aaron lowered his hands and slowly peeled off his top.

‘I’m sorry. It looks bad, you must have been in a bad way. I wish I could have been there to help you.’

Aaron pushed the thought of Robert away.

He pulled his top back on.

‘But you are still beautiful, you know that.’ Ed added. ‘Don’t sleep on the sofa tonight. Sleep with me.’

 

Robert and Dylan knelt naked on the bed facing each other, bodies pressed together. Dylan’s tongue circled Robert’s hungrily until he moved his mouth down to Robert’s neck and sucked against him.

‘Don’t leave a mark.’ Robert warned. It was an automatic reaction, something he was used to having to say whenever the danger arose. With Aaron he’d never needed to say it. It was understood that his body needed to be unbruised, that it didn’t belong to them, it was just on loan.

Dylan looked at him through narrowed eyes. ‘Mark me, then!’ He whispered, leaning back, closing his eyes.

He groaned, moving his mouth forward to the lad’s white throat and started to suck, watching the dark pinpricks appear on his skin.

As he sucked, his cock pulsed, caught between their bodies. He rolled his hips, feeling Dylan’s cock against his own, creating friction as they rubbed together. He wanted to be loud as the pleasure intensified, but he knew he had to keep quiet and his heart pounded furiously.

Dylan was smiling, which made Robert smile too.

He took his slim hand and guided it to him. Covering Dylan’s fingers with his own, he showed him how to stroke him in the way he liked. Then he moved his own hand to Dylan’s cock, and working him watched his face.

‘You’re well packed.’ Dylan whispered. Robert watched his tongue as he licked around his lips.

He laughed, lowering his brows. ‘You like that do you?’  
Dylan leaned back to admire him as his hand continued to stroke.

‘I like it a lot.’ He answered. ‘Are you going to fuck me with it, then?’

‘The question is, can you take it?’ Robert teased in his ear.

He found his pert arse, and stroked his cheeks.

‘Turn around then, if you’re so keen.’

Dylan obliged and bent over. Robert ran the heel of his hand down over him with a growl. He reached for the lube he’d kept untouched in his drawer for months.

He put on a condom then lined himself up and pushed in slowly, panting.

‘Oh God! Oh God! That’s sweet.’

Now was not a good time to think about Aaron, he tried to push the thoughts away, but if he closed his eyes Aaron was all he could see. He opened his eyes.

‘You got something to bite on there?’ He asked the lad, still teasing. He was rewarded with a laugh, but the laugh was a bluff.

‘I’ll be gentle.’ He reassured him, circling around his hips with his fingers. ‘You ready?’

Robert started to move. Glory, he needed this! He’d missed this so much! This was awesome! He managed to get into a smooth rhythm.

Dylan was moaning from his throat, his teeth around Robert’s pillow.

‘Fuck!’ Robert hissed. He was close. He slowed right down and admired the view, stroking his hands over the lad’s shoulders and back down to rest on his hips. Reaching forward he stroked Dylan’s cock, he could tell he was almost there.

Then he sped up.

Too late to be quiet now, a banshee wail left his throat as he hit his climax.

‘Fuuuuck!’  He gasped.

Dylan used his fist to finish himself off. After, Robert pulled out, collapsing on his back. 

Robert removed the condom and tied it and passed tissues to Dylan, then lay back down on his back, Dylan beside him propped himself up on an elbow.

He closed his eyes. And Aaron appeared in his mind.

He felt Dylan’s fingers on his cheek.

‘Are those tears?’ Dylan asked.

Robert opened his eyes and looked sideways at him.

‘Nothing to do with you.’ He warned.

‘So should I take a taxi?’ Dylan asked.

‘What’s the hurry? I haven’t finished with you yet. Not by a long shot.’ He looked at him sideways again. ‘Unless there’s somewhere you need to get up for in the morning?’

‘No, you’re OK. It’s not a school day.’

Robert opened his eyes wide. ‘WH..?’

‘Joking.’ Dylan grinned. ‘Left last year.’

‘Well that’s a relief. I feel so old.’ Robert objected.

‘I’m supposed to make you feel younger.’ Dylan laughed. ‘Robbie.’

‘It’s Robert.’ He grunted back.  

‘See, that’s why you feel old. But anyway, I think you were right, weren’t you? I mean, you’re not out, not really.’

Robert suddenly sat up. He faced Dylan, giving him his full attention.

‘What do you mean? Why did you say that?’

‘Well, first of all you said you were getting divorced so I reckon that means you only recently accepted that you are gay.’

‘I… I’m not gay!‘ Robert heard himself say.

Dylan blinked back at him.

 

‘So did you have another boyfriend? Since us, I mean.‘

‘Um, no. There was somebody, but, he wasn’t a boyfriend.’ Aaron looked out of the window at the Paris lights. ‘He wasn’t out, actually. He was terrified even of the idea of the word boyfriend. And I waited, but… well…,  it’s over now.’

‘That tough.’ Ed said. ‘But I suppose I should be glad, cos, well, you’re here now, aren’t you?’

‘Well, just for now.’ Aaron smiled. ‘Go to sleep, eh?’


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert goes out for lunch with Diane who tells him that Aaron is back with Ed. In spite of that Robert believes that, if he can convince Aaron he is out and proud, he may come home. He goes to Bar West to find a suitable boyfriend for the task, but gets distracted. Aaron tries to find out news about Robert and is surprised by what Adam tells him.

It was good to be back in the saddle.

Robert put his hands behind his head and watched the lad as he slipped on his jeans, covering the delicious arse that had had Robert’s full attention all night.

Dylan turned, pulling his T-shirt over his head. He leaned over Robert and kissed his mouth slowly.

‘I had fun. Thanks!’

‘Just be quiet on your way out eh?’

He was going to take a bus back to Leeds. Robert also needed to go back to pick up his car abandoned at Leeds central car park, but he would take a taxi later, there was no need for them to go together.

Dylan hesitated a moment then spoke: ‘I’d like to see you again. We could go for a drink? Tonight or another night?’

Robert ran a hand through his hair.

‘I’m flattered, but, I don’t think it’s a good idea.’ 

The boy was hot, but he was also a distraction.

‘You sure? I think I’m just what you’re looking for….’

Robert put his hands over his face to hide a smile.

‘You’re going to miss the bus.’

He heard Dylan galloping down the stairs. So much for leaving quietly.

Robert turned on his side and closed his eyes to catch up on lost sleep. He thought about Aaron, he always thought about Aaron. He needed to stick to the plan and avoid any more diversions.

He would look for a suitable boyfriend and show that he was out.

 

On Tuesday, Robert took Diane into Leeds for an appointment at the hospital.

‘Let me buy you lunch.’ Robert insisted. He took her to an upmarket Italian restaurant in the city center financial district.

 ‘I’m glad to have you to myself.’ Diane shared. ‘Cos I’ve a thousand questions I want to ask you.’

They ordered cocktails and, when they had arrived accompanied by garlic bread and olives, Diane spoke.

‘I want you to tell me everything. Don’t you think, Robert, it’s time you moved on with your life? You need an occupation. It’s alright you spending time running round after me, and don’t think I’m not grateful. But you need to make a life for yourself. A job, relationships… ‘

A waiter came and took their order. They ordered calamari, and for a main course Diane asked for chicken breast wrapped in Italian ham, while Robert ordered steak with mushroom sauce.

Robert smiled at Diane.

‘To put your mind at rest, I’m thinking about setting up my own business.’

‘Seriously, pet?’

‘With Lawrence we were mainly selling agricultural machinery, so I was thinking about staying in trade, but what I’d like to do is sell cars.’

‘Brilliant! And there’s nothing holding you back, I hope?’

‘Nothing really. I’ve actually been talking with my lawyer, Clive, and he thinks we’re good to go. We seem to have located possible premises in Leeds, and then I need to look at my capital situation. It’s a business with a lot of overheads, but it could make a big profit, too.’

‘I’m thrilled for you, pet. I really am. I’m relieved to hear it really. We do worry about you, me and Vic.’

When they’d done with their starters a waiter came and cleared them away.

Diane went on.

‘But I want to ask you something else. Victoria said you had a young man over last week.’

Robert looked startled.

‘She’s no business talking about my private life…’ He started but Diane interrupted.

‘Don’t blame Vic now, she’s like me. She loves you and she always has your happiness at heart. So don’t be angry with me. Robert, I’ve asked before, after all the business with Aaron. But…are you gay, pet? Because if you are, I think you need to be out there, not pining away on your own.’

The waiter with the main course was literally waiting behind Robert’s shoulder.

Noticing him, Robert turned and looked up into his face.

‘Um. Hi! Robert!  So sorry! Hope I didn’t interrupt. Chicken with mozzarella?’

Robert blinked in shock.

‘So you two know each other, then?’ Diane asked.

Dylan grimaced, holding the hot plates with a white service cloth.

‘Yes.’

‘No!’ Robert countered.

‘He took me out, sort of.’

Dylan pouted.

‘What out, Robert? On a date, out? Are you the lad Victoria told me about? Is that why you brought me here, Robert? Pleased to meet you son. What did you say your name was?’

Diane read the name on the uniform.

‘Dylan.’

Robert pulled back his chair and stood up.

‘Can I have another waiter, over here?’ He demanded loudly.

‘Don’t get me the sack.’ Dylan pleaded, looking horrified.

‘Go away, then.’ Robert hissed.

Dylan backed away slowly, still holding the plates of food.

‘Leave the food!’ Robert snarled.

Robert sat down again, running his hand through his hair.

‘Don’t read something into this? He’s just a lad I met once, and I have absolutely no intention of seeing him again.’

‘Robert, pet, you need to move on! I’m sorry love but Aaron has. Chas was telling me. He’s back together with Ed and he won’t be coming home.’

 

Aaron had got his old job back at the local car mechanics not far from Ed’s apartment. It was only a part time position. But at least he felt like he could contribute to the household income.

 Ed kept making a fuss of him, buying him English food in case he was missing it, like fish fingers and baked beans. Aaron wasn't so bothered about the food. It was the thoughtfulness that Aaron appreciated.

When they went out together, Ed would put a hand around his waist. Yesterday, he kissed him on the mouth on the main shopping thoroughfare. Actually, Aaron wasn’t so comfortable in public, but it still felt good to be able to be so open.

In the mornings Ed always had to leave early to go training. Aaron would go for a run himself around the block. He had to take it easy because his ankle was still weak after the break the year before, so he always took a steady pace.

Running made him think about the week he spent at Home Farm with Robert. Robert had said that it was a chance for them to be normal, but in reality it had turned into the most sexually intense week of his life. But you couldn’t sacrifice everything for sex, could you? You needed trust, too.

Aaron could never regret Robert, but he couldn’t build his future on him. He’d definitely made the right decision coming away.

He called his Mum.

Adam was doing fine with the scrapyard, he’d taken on a lad to help him for now, she told him. Paddy and Rhona were looking forward to adopting their new baby any day now. Cain was trying to keep the peace between Moira and Charity. Ross had been arrested for stealing cars, but somehow got away with it.

‘Anything else?’

‘No, love, you know how uneventful life here is. Not like glamorous Paris, eh?’

 

On the Friday Robert went out again in Leeds back to Bar West. 

Earlier, Chas had been spouting off in the Woolpack about how well Aaron was doing and how happy he was with Ed. Robert was glad if he was happy, but at the same time he had a nagging doubt about it. He had this feeling in his gut that, just like he could only be happy with Aaron, Aaron could really only realize happiness with him. It was probably wishful thinking.

He smiled at Chas and put down his empty pint glass, trying to ignore the expression of victory in her eyes. She was losing out here too, she missed him as well. So he allowed her to have her moment.

He would persist in his strategy of proving that he could be out and proud, and maybe Aaron would change his mind.

At Bar West, once again he scanned the bar, looking for someone he could present as an appropriate boyfriend. He saw Darren, the nurse who had dated Finn and who had helped Robert when he was first out of hospital convalescing from the surgery connected to his gunshot wound.

He came over to speak to him, carrying a bottle of beer.

‘Hi. Robert. I didn’t know you hung out here?’

‘Well I don’t usually.’ Robert felt uncomfortable, meeting someone who knew him.

‘I’m here with mates from the hospital. This is Ethan and Simon,’ he looked around, ‘…and over by the bar, that’s Fred.’

 Fred leaned back and raised his eyebrows in greeting. Robert immediately recognized him, he’d been one of the many doctors he’d met when in hospital, the orthopedist who’d made sure his broken ribs were mending appropriately after the surgery from the gunshot wound.

Fred made his way over.

‘I know you...’ He said. ‘R… Robert? Is that right?’

‘I’m impressed. You must get to see a lot of patients. Do you remember all their names?’

‘Some patients are more memorable than others.’ Robert realized he was being flirted with. He smiled. The doctor was attractive and around Robert’s age. He asked about Robert’s job.

 ‘I’m a business director. We sell agricultural machinery.’ It wasn’t exactly a lie.

‘Director? Sounds like a powerful position.’

Robert raised his eyebrows.

‘You like people in powerful positions, do you?’

The doctor smiled. ‘I like a variety of positions.’

Robert nodded. This was going well.

‘I see you lost your wedding ring.’ The doctor went on.

Robert looked astonished.

‘Now you are creeping me out. That’s quite a detail to remember.’

 ‘Let me buy you another drink.’

Robert watched him from behind as he walked up to the bar.

From the corner of his eye he suddenly noticed Dylan. He was leaning with his back up against a wall, kissing someone. Robert looked away but his eyes were drawn back to them. They broke apart. The bloke was talking into Dylan’s ear and Dylan was laughing. All at once Dylan looked over in Robert’s direction and Robert quickly looked away.

When he glanced over again, Dylan was looking right at him and grinned, mouthing a hello, then the doctor was there handing him a beer. He moved round so his back was to Dylan.

‘You want to find somewhere to sit down?’ He asked Fred.

Although it was crowded they managed to find a vacated space on a couch, side by side. 

‘Whereabouts do you live, Fred?’

‘Near the hospital. I’m not actually from Leeds. Only been here since November, you were one of my first patients.’

‘Ah, that’s why you remember me so well then.’ Robert laughed.

‘No, that’s not why.’

Fred leaned forward. Robert relaxed into a tentative kiss.

When they broke apart, Robert sat back and took a sip of his beer. The volume of the music suddenly increased and there were more people dancing. Robert shook his head when he saw Dylan. He had taken off his top and with his jeans low cut just below his hips, Robert allowed his eyes to scan his body. He remembered the feeling of being inside him, the tightness around his shaft, the moans he’d made with each of Robert’s thrusts, stifled by the pillow. He looked away.

Fred was saying something to him. Robert realized he hadn’t been listening and interrupted him with a kiss.

Darren came up to them.

‘There’s a party at one of the nurses’ residences if you fancy a change of scene.’

‘Why not?’ Fred answered.

The house was crowded. He was surprised when they arrived that Dylan and the man he was with were also there. So he was one of Darren’s party, too.

Robert left Fred in the kitchen to go to the bathroom. When he came out Dylan was in the hall, leaning against the wall.

‘What are you doing? Where’s your date?’

‘He’s in the kitchen. They’re all talking about something medical or other. All talk and no action.’

‘What were you hoping for?’

‘More action. You fancy it?’

 Dylan raised his eyebrows with a smile and leaning back he opened a door next to him and gestured an invitation to Robert. In the dark room with the light from the hallway Robert could just make out the shape of a bed with what looked like a load of coats piled on it.

Robert stepped inside.

Dylan followed, closing the door softly behind him.

 

Adam was in the Woolpack sitting with Vic and Andy when his phone rang.

‘Ayyy! Man! Aaron! How are ya doing? We miss ya!’ He grinned.

Victoria smiled. ‘Aww! Say hello from us!’

‘Yeah! We’re good. We’re just sitting in the pub, having a pint. Andy’s here, too.’ Adam went on.

‘Ask him who has bigger muscles, me or Ed?’ Andy joked.

‘He told me to ask you who has bigger muscles him or Ed?’

Adam listened and laughed then turned to Andy.

‘He says size isn’t everything mate.’

‘As I keep saying!’ Andy agreed.

‘Well you should know Aaron, mate! ’ Adam continued to banter down the phone.

He paused, listening again.

‘Robert? No. He’s not here. Think he’s gone into Leeds. Is that right Vic?’

‘On the pull, brought home a young lad last Friday. Ow! Don’t hit me Vic.’

‘Lad, not Lass.’

When the call finished, Aaron looked out the window at the Paris sky.

What was Robert playing at?

Ed came in with pizza and switched on the sports channel.

‘How’s Adam, then?’ He asked.

‘Yeah! Good.’

 

In the dark, Robert pulled Dylan towards him, grabbing at the front of his T-shirt. He tipped the pile of coats onto the floor and pulled him down on top him, holding his face, kissing him hungrily.

Dylan lay on top of Robert and moved his light hips over him. Robert pushed his hand between them and felt the hard outline of Dylan’s cock through the material of his trousers. They ground against each other. After the long months of abstinence, for a dizzy moment Robert felt in danger of coming like that. 

Robert watched as Dylan, sitting astride Robert’s hips, pulled off his top and then took hold of the hem of Robert’s top and pulled it off over his head.

Starting at his chest, Dylan moved his mouth over Robert’s body.  He used the flat of his tongue to lick over the hard nub of Robert’s nipple, then covered it with his mouth and sucked slowly, watching the silhouette of Robert’s face in the dark. He could see the white of his eyes and the dark black of his pupils.

He moved his mouth down over Robert’s stomach. When he reached his trousers he unfastened them, and tugged them down and off with his underpants.

Robert closed his eyes and spread his hands out, grasping at the bed cover. Dylan used his tongue licking up his shaft. He was working it fast. What he lacked in experience he made up for in enthusiasm. Perhaps that was the attraction.

‘Take me all the way.’ Robert coaxed. Dylan paused, watching Robert’s face looking at him in the dark, then went down on him so that Robert let out a loud moan as his cock pushed against the back of Dylan's throat.

Robert placed his hands on Dylan’s hair.

‘Oh Yes.’ He groaned as Dylan continued.  After a while he panted ‘Wait!'

Dylan paused.

The door opened and then closed again quickly with a ‘sorry.’

They could hear voices in the hall. Someone wanted a coat, while the other person was pointing out that they would need to wait.

Dylan stretched his eyes at Robert.

Robert nodded with a grin.

Dylan bobbed down over him again, taking him all the way again.

Robert cried out loudly as he came, not caring about the people outside hearing him.

‘Fuck. That was good.’ He breathed.

‘Come here.’ He beckoned to Dylan, who moved up to lay beside him.

Robert, sitting up slightly against the bedhead in the dark, pulled him into his body, so that his back was resting against Robert’s chest, kissing against his neck, he took hold of him and stroked his already throbbing cock, bringing him to the edge until he spilled over Robert’s hand. Robert lifted his sticky hand to Dylan’s lips.

‘Eat!’ He whispered.

Then he pushed his tongue into Dylan’s mouth and kissed him roughly.

Someone opened the door again, and put on the light.

‘Sorry, but we have to get our coats. There’s a taxi waiting on the meter and its double fare after midnight.’

Dylan and Robert lay watching as more people came in.

Fred put his head around the door.

Robert waved.

'So, that’s where you got to.'

Robert shook his head. Fred would have been the perfect suitable boyfriend.

He’d blown it again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron buys a ticket for Emmerdale. Robert starts to get some courage.

It was 3.00 a.m.

Robert stood on the pavement outside the take-away with Dylan, both eating chicken kebabs. They'd walked quite a distance, enjoying the fresh night air which had helped to clear their heads after the drink and noise of the bar and the party afterwards.

‘So, you’re a waiter?’ Robert observed.

Dylan laughed. ‘I’m a student. I’m studying a contemporary dance foundation course at City College. I work part time to get some extra money.’

Robert raised his eyebrows.

‘Ah! A dancer? Now I get why your arse is so big.’

Dylan laughed aloud. 'Ha Ha!' He pretended to try and look over his shoulder at his arse. ‘It’s not so big.’

‘I learned to salsa, you know.’ Robert admitted.

Dylan grinned up at him.

‘Latin? Really? Show me then!’ He gave a brief salsa shuffle on the pavement as encouragement, but Robert shook his head and looked away, embarrassed by the attention from other night time kebab customers.

‘My car’s about a ten minute walk. Shall I drop you home?’ He offered.

‘Ta very much.’

Robert threw the kebab paper in the bin and wiped his fingers.

Pushing his hands into his jacket pockets he started walking towards the car park with Dylan at his side.

‘We could go salsa dancing together.’ Dylan suggested.

Robert rolled his eyes. ‘Dylan, just to make this clear. We’re not dating. We’re not going out. This is not a relationship. This was just sex.’

From the corner of his eye, Robert saw Dylan’s face drop. Then, after a moment's hesitation, he raised his chin again.

‘OK. Then we can meet again for more sex.’

They arrived at the car. Robert unlocked it.

‘Yes. We can do that. Just, don’t expect anything more from me.’

Robert started the car. When he’d reversed out of the car park, Dylan spoke.

‘Is it because you think you’re not gay? It must be difficult, Robbie, coming out when you’re so old.’ He teased.

Robert looked at him with a warning glance.

'I mean, You're OK with the sex. It's the relationship part that bothers you, isn't it?'  Dylan went on.

Robert was actually surprised at how perceptive Dylan was being.

'It must be difficult, knowing when to keep out of other people's business, when you're so young.'

 

Aaron and Ed sat outside at the crowded Parisian street café, drinking beer. In spite of being so late, the place was still noisy with Friday night revellers. They’d gone there with some of Ed’s friends who’d already left, but, because they lived nearby, and it was a Friday with no commitments the next day, they were lingering over their drinks.

‘So,’ Aaron said. ‘You’re telling me that you’ve got a week off next month. Mate? Why don’t we go to Emmerdale? My Mum would be so glad to see you! You haven’t ever been back! She hardly knows you at all.’

‘You miss it there?’ Ed smiled.

‘No, Yes, Kind of…’ Aaron admitted.  ‘But I’m OK.’

Ed nodded his head with worry.

‘Aaron, How are we going to manage, longer term?’ He looked thoughtful. ‘You know what? There is a team in Leeds. Maybe I could arrange to meet them if we go, and I can see if they might be interested in hiring me in the future?’

‘You’d do that? For me?’ Aaron asked.

‘I’d do anything for you, Aaron, you know that.’ Ed took his hand.

But Aaron worried that things were moving too quickly. He hadn’t meant to mislead Ed. It was good to have sex, Aaron couldn't deny that, but right now he wasn’t ready for any commitments. Sharing a bed with Ed, sleeping with Ed again. Had he somehow given him the wrong idea? They’d just fallen into it really, in some ways, more out of habit, or familiarity than anything else.

‘But listen, I did say. We need to take this slowly, Ed. I’m really not ready for any big commitments right now.'

'I know that. I’m just telling you how I feel, when you are ready.'

 

Robert met his lawyer, Clive, to talk about setting up his new business. He took him for lunch at the same Italian restaurant where he’d taken Diane. He and Clive had known each other for many years. Clive was based in Manchester but his firm also had an office in Leeds and he had an apartment here, too.

‘What’s going to help you most is the divorce settlement when it comes through, just to cover some of those overheads.’ Clive explained.

'And how long do you think that will be now?' Robert asked. It wasn't just the settlement. He was keen to finally close that chapter on his life, and put all those messy memories to bed.

A waiter came up to take their order. Robert looked at him impatiently. Clive watched him curiously wondering why he was suddenly annoyed.

‘Could we have Dylan serve us, instead?’ Robert asked the waiter.

The waiter looked surprised.

‘Sorry. He’s on his break, and this isn’t his cover.’

‘I don’t care. Who’s the customer here?’

The waiter frowned.

Clive raised his eyebrows.

Dylan arrived, still tying his service apron, his tie a little askew.

When he saw Robert, he was shocked but Robert saw the smile appear in his eyes.

Dylan's glance took in Clive and the business suits and so he did his best to behave professionally for Robert.

‘Can I take your order, sir?’ he asked.

Robert ordered, keeping his face serious, avoiding eye contact.

‘Pretty.’ Clive observed, following Dylan with his eyes as he walked away.

‘Yeah, but hands off.’ Robert countered. ‘And will you lend me your apartment for the afternoon?’

Clive narrowed his eyes.

‘Leave it as you find it.’

Robert ordered coffee and a cognac to end the meal. As Dylan started to walk away, he put a hand on his wrist, stopping him. He beckoned him close.

‘Did you eat lunch?’ he asked quietly, searching his face.

Dylan nodded.

‘Then clock off, there’s a good lad, and meet me in the restaurant car park in 15 minutes.’

‘I have another two hours on my shift.’

‘Say you’re sick, someone died, I don’t know. Think of something.’

Dylan looked into his eyes and nodded. How could he refuse?

‘Bring me the bill.’ Robert added.

‘What happened to the lad that ended your marriage for you?’ Clive asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

Robert winced.

‘He’s in France.’

Clive raised his eyebrows.

‘But you still care about him?’

‘Yes, I do. I’m going to get him back.’

‘Doesn’t look like you’re very focused on the task.’

'You'd be surprised.'

 

Robert unlocked the apartment with the keys Clive had given him.

As soon as they entered the quiet inner space and the city sounds were closed off, he turned and pulled Dylan’s body against his. He pushed a hand down the back of the waistband of Dylan’s black material trousers, over the smooth curve of his backside and smiled into a kiss. Dylan wasn't Aaron, but it was good to have some physical outlet again after so many months, and Aaron was with someone else. He couldn't think about that, right now. The time would come.

In the bedroom, Clive had a large double bed. Robert removed his suit jacket and pulled off his tie.

‘Take your clothes off for me, slowly.’ He growled softly, moving back to sit against the headboard.

‘You want me to dance for you, too?’ Dylan laughed breathily. ‘I can do that.’

‘Yeah. Do that, then.’

Dylan danced a slow striptease, expertly executed. Robert watched with a smile, enjoying the private show. After Robert pulled off his own clothes quickly and pulled Dylan onto the bed.

Dylan sat astride him. He rode him fast and Robert stroked his hands over the boy’s thighs and calves, digging in with his fingers.

When Dylan was close to coming. Robert made him slow right down.

‘Make it last. We’ve got all afternoon.’ He whispered. He reached up his hands and ran his fingers over Dylan’s chest.  Both of their bodies were shining with sweat.

After a while, Robert wanted to take control. ‘Lie on your back for me, eh?

Dylan turned onto his back and Robert pushed up his thighs and entered him leaning over him, with one hand holding onto the headboard behind them. He thrust strongly and purposefully and watched Dylan’s eyes roll upwards and listened as his moans multiplied and eventually spiraled out of control.

 ‘Are you ready?’ He asked softly, slowing right down.

Dylan nodded and Robert went deeper and faster taking them to their climax. He watched Dylan come and then let himself join in, calling out as he rode the waves of his orgasm, resting his jaw against Dylan’s head and trying to catch his racing breath.

 

Aaron called Ed. 

'I found some really good ticket deals, Paris Charles de Gaulle to Leeds Bradford Airport, or we could take the Eurostar to Leeds? The planes a lot quicker and its almost the same price.'

'Yeah. Book the plane. Return tickets, yeah?'

'Naturally. Don't worry. It's only going to be a week's holiday. Aaron laughed.'

'Go for it.'

Aaron walked up and down the apartment with a grin on his face. Then sat and made the booking. 

It would be great to see his Mum and Adam and all the family really.

He tried not to think about Robert, but Robert was a constant presence in his mind. He caught himself worrying about how Robert would react to Ed. Would he be jealous? Would he overreact and make everything difficult. Of course he would. Aaron bit his lip. Most of all he'd be hurt by the fact that Aaron was with someone else and Aaron didn't want him hurt.

But from what Adam had said Robert wasn't sitting around pining. He'd mentioned a one night stand and with a bloke, too. Aaron didn't know what to think about that. 

 

Dylan watched Robert’s face lying still and serene on the pillow, he stroked his cheek with a finger trying to get his attention.

‘Why do you say you’re not gay?’

Robert frowned.

‘I like women.’

Dylan gestured to himself.

‘This is no woman!’

‘I like women, too.’

‘Then you’re not gay, you’re bi, bisexual.’

Robert rolled his eyes and put his arms up behind his head.

‘I don't want to say that either. It just sounds... all wrong.’

‘How can it be wrong? You’re not wrong.’

‘How do you know? People tend not to approve of me.

 ‘Do you think people don’t approve of you because you’re bisexual?’

‘They don’t know.’

‘But you know.’ Dylan smiled at the admission.

Robert sighed.

 ‘I don’t want to be labelled, and I don’t want to be judged.’

‘Do you judge people who say they are bi? Or gay ? Do you judge me?’

Robert wasn’t sure. He didn’t think so.

He thought about Aaron, Aaron was the bravest, strongest person he knew.

‘I heard you when you told your Mum, that day, in the restaurant, that you weren’t gay. It’s confusing for the people who love you. I think you need to tell people you’re bi, label or no label and then you can start to show it.’

‘I think you talk too much:’ Robert answered. ‘Let’s get a shower and get dressed. I’m going to take you to Emmerdale, for a drink.’

Dylan looked surprised.

‘What happened to just sex?’

‘This is not a date. This is a drink.’ Robert answered.' You're going to help me come out. You've just talked yourself into it.'

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's official. Robert's out. But will his plan work?

Robert leaned his head forward until it was touching the steering wheel of the car and breathed deeply.

Dylan watched him from the passenger seat.

They were sitting in the car park of the Woolpack, which was crowded with the usual weekday early evening customers, all there for a meal or a drink after work.

Robert groaned.

‘This was a mistake! I can’t do this.’

Dylan raised his hand to Robert’s shoulder and patted him, kindly.

‘Exactly what were we going to do? Weren’t we just going to have a drink together? Robbie, nobody in the pub knows what we were doing all afternoon, just us.’

Robert raised his head and looked at Dylan through narrowed eyes.

‘They’ll have a good guess if you call me that!’

‘Robert.’ Dylan corrected himself.

‘But I want to show them I’m out.’

‘I’ll help if I can.’ Dylan said.

Robert nodded. He knew if he ever wanted Aaron back, he had to take this step, he opened the car door and stepped out into the lamp light shining on the carpark forecourt.

 

Aaron and Ed walked down the steps onto the wide pathway by the river Seine. The water was murky. At intervals the river tour boats noisily chugged their way towards them. They passed the art sellers and the crowds of Parisians sitting on deckchairs, just enjoying the warm air that harbingered the beginning of summer.

Ed paused at a jewellery stall. Aaron put his hands in his pockets and looked up and down the river. It wasn’t really his thing. The next thing he knew Ed was handing over some money and picking up a paper bag.

‘What’d you get?’ Aaron asked curiously.

‘It’s for you.’ Ed answered with a grin.

Stopping he pulled a silver necklace from the bag. Aaron examined a fine silver chain with a circular pendant with the design of a tree embossed into the silver.

‘WH… what?’

‘It’s the Tree of Life. It’s a symbol for living in harmony with yourself and your life.’ Ed smiled. ‘I just want you to relax.’ He laughed.

‘It’s also a symbol of male potency.’ He laughed. ‘Something sexy for a sexy man.’

‘I don’t know what to say.’

Aaron let Ed tie the silver chain around his neck.  He looked up at him with a small smile. Ed bent his head and kissed Aaron. Aaron knew they were being watched with some admiration by Parisian passers-by. Who wouldn’t appreciate observing a romantic kiss by the Seine? Someone snapped a quick clandestine photo.

A vision of Robert pierced Aaron all at once like an arrow. The pressure of his soft lips and the feel of his hands when they caressed Aaron’s neck and swept down over his shoulders; the heat of his flesh through his shirt as Aaron’s fingers pressed against him. How they swayed together, fit together. Aaron caught his breath and frowned pushing the thoughts away.

Not still Robert? Maybe it was because he would see him in less than a month, now. This wasn’t connected in any way to Ed’s words about living life in harmony.

Aaron’s fingers rubbed over the circular disc of the pendant.

‘Let’s eat, eh? I’m starving.’

 

Diane, Vic, and Chas were all behind the bar when Robert walked in the pub with Dylan. To make things worse Andy was propping up the bar, with Ross and Finn Barton a short distance away from him, and Chrissie was sitting cosy with Rakesh at a table with a bottle of red wine between them.

Robert’s stomach sank.

He’d been right, this was a fatal error. For a fleeting second he wondered how it would look if he turned around and just walked straight back out again, but any chance of escape evaporated as Diane greeted him loudly with a warm smile.

‘Robert! Oh my Gosh! And with, sorry, I forgot your name pet?’

‘Dylan.’

Chas piped up.

‘So who’s your mate, then?’

And that was the moment. It was like standing on the high board at the swimming pool, toes curled over the edge, feeling the bounce as your knees bend.

‘He’s my…’ Robert hesitated. ‘He’s my…’ He looked to Dylan for support…

‘Boyfriend’ Dylan finished for him ‘We’re dating.’

And reaching up, Dylan slid a hand over his neck and kissed him on the cheek.

The silence was painful.

Eventually it was Ross who broke it with a low murmur.

 ‘Can’t even call him a bit of rough, can you? Smooth as a baby’s bottom that one, even smoother than you Finn, eh? You missed your chance there, you should’ve been fluttering your eyelids at Robert, see.’

‘Oh My God! Shut up!’ Finn hissed.

‘Well I’m just saying.’ Ross whined into his pint.

It was Victoria who came to the rescue.

‘Well, I’m sure we’re all looking forward to getting to know you, Dylan. I’m Victoria, Robert’s sister and we already met by the way, and that’s Andy there, his brother, so get yourself ready for an interrogation, alright?’

‘Can you just cut the chat and pour us a couple of pints?’ Robert interjected, having finally found his voice again.

‘I’ll do that, pet.’ Diane stepped in.

‘He is old enough to drink?’ Chas interrupted.

Robert rolled his eyes. ‘What, and you think I’d risk my own step mum’s licence? Of course he is.’

Victoria frowned at Chas, who looked back at her.

‘What? Shouldn’t you be in the kitchen?’ She added.

 

Robert found a vacant table for two just in front of the bar. He nodded at Dylan to follow him, carrying the pints and setting them down.

Andy turned and looked at Dylan.

‘So what do you do then, mate?’ He asked.

‘I’m a dance student.’

‘Come again?’

‘’I’m a student.’ Dylan repeated. ‘I’m studying dance.’

Ross spat out some beer and stretched his eyes. ‘Well that’s a bit of a contrast from our grease monkey.’

Finn coughed warningly and even Andy turned to him with a hard stare.

‘Alright! I’m out ta here!’ He put up his hand in surrender and lowering his empty pint glass, he picked up his keys and made his exit.

‘Bye dears!’

Robert closed his eyes in pain.

If the onslaught from Ross wasn’t enough, it was Chrissie’s turn to pick up the batten.

‘Well, if I’d known about this I might have wanted to renegotiate the terms of the divorce settlement, don’t you think Rakesh?’

Robert just lifted his eyebrows and smiled. He knew that Chrissie wanted this over as quickly as he did. She wasn’t going to do anything now to slow down the process. Not now they were so near the end.

‘So it’s official now, is it?’ She asked.

‘What?’ Robert rolled his eyes. Even though they had been getting on well recently, having established a new equilibrium, he could tell from her tone that she wanted to turn the knife for one last time.

‘You being gay.’

There was a pause. Robert could feel the eyes of Diane, Chas, Andy, Finn and everyone else who knew him on him.

Dylan looked at him encouragingly.

‘I’m not gay.’ He said.

He kept his eyes on Dylan’s face.

‘I’m bisexual.’

He looked at Chrissie.

‘And you should know that.’

 

Robert walked Dylan to the bus stop and kissed him, pulling him close by the waist. He saw Kerry walking home from the salon, stopping suddenly in her tracks and then speeding on at an accelerated pace, no doubt desperate to share this latest piece of village gossip.

 It didn’t matter now who saw them. It was officially out. He was out.

And Aaron would hear, wouldn’t he?

And then he’d come home.

‘So, when will I see you?’ Dylan asked.

‘You won’t.’ Robert said it softly, not meeting Dylan’s eyes.

Dylan pulled away from him.

‘Look, I know all that in there was an act. But we can still meet. I don’t really expect any of the boyfriend stuff. I just, I think we have good chemistry, Robert. Especially in bed.’

Robert shook his head.

‘See you around, Dylan. Thanks for the help. It really made a big difference to me. But it’s over now. You’ll get on with your life and I’ll get on with mine.’

Robert turned to walk away.

‘Seriously. So that’s it?’

‘That’s it!’

The bus arrived and Dylan hesitated with one foot on the step, until the driver growled at him.

‘Make your mind up. Are you coming or not?’

He got on.

Robert didn’t turn round to look as the bus drove up the hill.

One of the old ladies on the bus offered Dylan a handkerchief when she saw the tears running down his cheeks.

 

‘So what do you think Aaron will say when he hears about Rob’s boyfriend?’

Vic was finishing up, for the evening, looking forward to going home. She wondered if Rob had taken Dylan there, and sort of hoped not because Adam was a bit funny the last time he’d stayed over.

‘Well he’s not going to hear is he?’ Chas answered.

‘How’s that, then?’

‘Well I’m certainly not going to mention it. And I ask you, with all my heart, not to as well, and tell that Adam of yours.’

‘But don’t you think he’d want to know? I mean, Robert coming to terms with being gay, or bi or whatever, that could be important to Aaron, Chas.’

‘Vic. Listen to me. I know your brother was a vital support for Aaron when we were, he was, having to deal with all the stuff about his father. And I’m grateful, I will never, ever take that away from Robert, what he did for my boy. But even you have to see, they’re not good for each other. Robert just messes Aaron’s head up every single time. No, love. The best thing is to let Aaron get on with his life without him.’

Vic nodded.

‘And he’s got this Dylan lad now, as well. So Robert’s happy and all’s well that ends well.’

‘Suppose.’

‘Don’t let me down about this Vic.’


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert's life moves forward in many ways but then he sees a photograph of Aaron and Ed in Paris together. Aaron and Ed finally board a plane back to Emmerdale

Robert waited for news of Aaron with quiet confidence. But it seemed his family were more interested in finding out about Dylan.

‘So when are we going to see him again? Do you want to ask him round for a meal?’

Victoria was draining vegetables while Robert was mixing a gravy to go with the roast chicken dinner they’d prepared together.

‘No.’

‘But you are still together?’ She glanced at him suspiciously.

‘Yes.’

Robert, not for the first time, wondered about Vic. She must have some genetic tuning that allowed her to read his mind. He had to be very careful what he said around her. She was also quite persistent.

‘I mean you didn’t have a falling out or anything, because it’s nearly a week since you brought him over for a drink, and we haven’t seen him since? Though I suppose there’s no need to take things in a hurry, as he is quite young.’

‘Would you just mind your own business, Vic?’

‘Just worrying about you, as always.’

‘I know.’ Robert paused to give his sister a quick brotherly hug. ‘But actually, I have something more important to tell you. You know since Ashley and Laurel moved their old cottage has been empty? Well I’ve got the keys!’

Robert took a set of keys out of his pocket and dangled them in front of her.

Adam suddenly appeared in the kitchen.

‘You what? So does this mean you’re moving out?’

Robert turned back to Victoria, trying to ignore the not well disguised sound of relish in Adam’s voice.

‘Well I can’t take advantage of your hospitality forever, can I?’

‘But, are you sure? You’ll be lonely all by yourself and I’ll miss you.’

‘Yeah, I’m sure you’ll both miss me.’ He nodded at Adam shrewdly, then went on ‘Look, you two need your privacy.’

‘And I guess you and Dylan do too, eh, that’s why you haven’t brought him home at all, isn’t it? Well it’s probably for the best.’

Robert wasn’t as confident about living alone as he’d sounded. Victoria was right. There was a danger that he might feel lonely. He didn’t cope well on his own, really. He liked the reassuring noise and bustle of other people around him, even when that involved a measure of antagonism thrown in, like his relationship with Adam. But he was optimistic that he wouldn’t be alone for long, and if Aaron did come back, they would need somewhere to be together.

 

Everything in Robert’s life was taking off at the same time, including his new business. He just needed to take a final look at the location that seemed the most promising.

The early summer weather was warm so he took down the top on the new Austin Healey Sprite convertible that he’d bought in anticipation of the divorce settlement and, putting on his sunglasses, he headed into Leeds.

Aaron would appreciate the car. He wouldn’t be interested in it as a status symbol. Aaron didn’t have material values and he certainly didn’t give a monkey’s about what other people thought. But he would admire the engine and the design and he’d enjoy taking the car for a spin. One of Robert’s weaknesses was watching Aaron drive, his sleeves pushed halfway up his forearms, his blue eyes on the road.

Once he hit the city he got caught in the inevitable traffic, slowing to an almost standstill.

A group of kids were meandering down the pavement by the road, probably on their way to the city centre.

Robert noticed Dylan right away, with his arm slung casually over the shoulder of another lad as he walked, he was tilting his head back and laughing at something. Robert watched him through his wing mirror. He was wearing skinny jeans and a long sleeved grey sweat shirt with the slogan ‘DO IT LIKE NO ONE’S WATCHING’ emblazoned on the front. Robert smiled and shook his head.

Dylan let his arm fall, then took a run and jumped on another boy’s back, holding on piggy back style, before dropping back down and walking with the other guys in a line, chatting as they made their way down the hill.

Watching him, Robert felt a slight twinge of regret. Dylan had been right, the sex had been hot. But it wouldn’t have been fair to the lad to keep going back for more, when it could never mean anything. Also, seeing him messing about with kids his own age made Robert more conscious of the age gap.

The traffic was at a virtual standstill.

Robert ran a hand through his hair and then realized that the kids had come right up almost parallel to where his car was stuck.

In the wing mirror he saw the moment Dylan noticed his car. He saw as his face fell suddenly and his eyes filled with hurt.

Robert grimaced. He pulled off his sunglasses and rolled his neck back.

‘Dylan!’  He called.

Dylan forced his fingers into his jeans pockets and raised his eyebrows in greeting, without the characteristic smile.

Suddenly the traffic started moving.

Robert made the shape of a telephone with his hand and held it to his ear.

‘I’ll call you, OK?’ He shouted, before revving up the engine and speeding off onto the circular ring road.

 

Two days later, Robert was packing the last of the stuff he had at Victoria’s into a case, getting ready to carry it round to his new home. Most of his stuff from Home Farm had been in storage for a while, and then he and Diane had been shopping in Leeds earlier to buy kitchen and bathroom stuff, bedding and other bits that Diane could think off.

They were putting crockery away in the kitchen when Robert dropped a casual question.

‘Chas heard anything from Aaron? Can’t imagine he likes living in Paris. He didn’t much like being in France the last time he was there.’

‘Oh, well. By all accounts, he’s more settled this time. He started with a part time job at a garage mechanic place he worked at before, and yesterday, he told Chas, he’s just gone full time.’

She paused and looked at Robert.

‘She says he’s quite serious about Ed.’ She watched his face. ‘Sorry, pet. But at least you’ve moved on. You’ve got young Dylan now. He seems quite a lively character. Quite confident for his age, isn’t he? I like him. I’m sorry we didn’t have time to pop into the restaurant and see him today.’

‘Aaron must have been surprised when he heard about Dylan.’ Robert asked, reaching up to put glasses away in a high cupboard.

‘I expect he was. I think he was probably glad for you. I know you both meant a lot to each other.’

 

Robert spent his first evening in the cottage alone. He poured himself a whiskey, then sat on the carpet with his back to the sofa, legs outstretched, and opened his laptop.

Diane’s words about Aaron echoed in his ears. She seemed so sure that he was settled in France, when all Robert wanted was to have him home again. He thought about the kiss they’d shared before everything went wrong again. He knew what that had meant to them both. He couldn’t believe that Aaron could change his feelings just like that.

But now he was with Ed. He’d been avoiding thinking about Ed. For the first time he let himself think about Ed doing things to Aaron that only he should be able to do. He felt a wave of jealousy that constricted his chest and throat. He tried to push it away. After all, what had he been doing with Dylan? But with Dylan, it hadn’t been real, had it? Ed, on the other hand, wasn’t just a fuck, he was a relationship with a history.

But Robert knew, either way, he just wanted Aaron back so badly he could hardly breathe.

Robert, driven by some demon started random searches on his laptop about Paris, resenting each page, the pictures; the texts waxing lyrical about the attractions. Some blogger had posted pictures from a recent city break, and that was where he saw it…

The photo.

A photo with Aaron in it. A photo of Aaron and Ed kissing by the river Seine. It was a black and white picture and the blogger was obviously proud of the composition. They’d captioned it. ‘Paris. Nobody does romance better than the French.’ Robert would have scoffed if he hadn’t been so distressed.

He’d seen pictures of Ed before, fired by curiosity when Aaron had first got into blood stream, searches on his phone in the office at Home Farm. It hadn’t been so hard to find him, looking up his sports team.

In the photo Aaron had his eyes closed and his hand holding Ed’s T-shirt by his chest. Their bodies were close. Aaron looked well. He looked fit. His hair was a little long and his beard was trim.

He couldn’t navigate away from the page, no matter how much he wanted to.

He noticed he was trembling. The realization hit him like a physical blow to the chest. Aaron wasn’t coming home. He’d moved on.

He downed the whiskey in one and poured another. He ran his hand through his hair. How had he managed to mess this up so badly? He’d found his soulmate, and then he’d let him go, and now his life was empty. He looked about the cottage that a couple of hours ago had made him happy as he imagined Aaron with him there at some point in the near future, and now it felt cold and pointless. How deluded he’d been.

 

He was more than three quarters down the bottle of whiskey when he called Dylan.

‘Dylan! It’s Robert. … Said I’d call, didn’t I?’

‘Robbie!’ Dylan was laughing.

Robert could hear loud music in the background. Where was he? Bar West? Another bar?

‘Get in a taxi, eh?’

‘I can’t. I’m on a date. With my college tutor! How pervy is that?’

Robert pulled a face.

‘Aw. Come on. Who’d you rather be with? Him or me? Come here and I’ll fuck that sweet fat arse of yours into next week.’

Robert waited. There was a long pause.

‘I know you miss me, Aaron.’ He added.

‘Who’s Aaron?’

Robert started. Did he just say Aaron?

‘Dylan.’

‘See ya round, Robbie.’

Dylan ended the call.

Robert threw his phone across the floor with a pout. He lifted the whiskey bottle, not bothering with a glass any more.

 

Robert threw up in the night and had to clean up after himself, his whole body shaking. He woke late morning with a sore mouth and a pounding headache. He left the curtains drawn all day. In the afternoon, Clive texted. They’d secured the premises so now it was up to Robert to start up the business and organize the launch. For the rest of the evening and the next day, Robert worked.

It was better to work than to think.

Friday evening around 10 p.m. he closed his laptop and took a shower. Picking up his car keys he drove to Leeds. Close to midnight, he walked into Bar West.

Dylan had been dancing. His T-shirt was off and tucked into the belt of his jeans. His pale skin was shiny with sweat and his hair clung in wet locks over his forehead. He was flirting with a bloke who looked a similar age to Robert, flashing his blue eyes, smiling too much. Robert walked straight up to him.

‘Sorry, mate, this one’s spoken for.’ He said to the stranger and moved square in front of Dylan.

Dylan shook his head at Robert and started to walk away, but Robert caught him by the hand and held him firmly.

‘Did you fuck your professor, then?’ He asked.

‘Maybe.’

‘Bet he wasn’t as good as me.’ Robert smirked.

Dylan rolled his eyes. Robert knew he’d called it right, no doubt a guilt ridden fumbler with a flaccid dick.

‘Let me buy you a drink. Tequila?’

‘Robbie…’

‘OK. If you prefer to dance, I can dance with you instead.’

The minute the small smile appeared, Robert knew he was getting somewhere.

‘You think you can keep up?’

‘I’ll do my best.’

‘Come on then, old man.’

Robert danced with Dylan. Dylan laughed at him, at moments touching him lightly at the waist. After a couple of tracks Robert stopped to go to the bar. He bought Dylan a Tequila sunrise.

Dylan took it from him. ‘You’re not drinking?’ He asked.

‘I’ll drink when I get you home. I’ve got the car.’

‘What makes you think I’ll go home with you?’

‘This.’ Robert pulled Dylan close by the belt of his jeans and leaned into a kiss. Dylan tasted of salt and tequila. His tongue stroked against Robert’s.

‘And this.’ He added.

Robert took Dylan’s hand and pressed it against the front of his trousers so that Dylan could feel the hard bulge, there.

Dylan looked up into Robert’s eyes.

‘OK.’ He said.

 

Three weeks later, Aaron and Ed boarded the plane at Charles De Gaulle airport. Aaron hadn’t told his Mum he was coming. He was excited to see her reaction when she saw them. He’d given Adam a ring from the gate and asked for a ride from the airport, but he asked him not to tell anyone. It would be almost midnight by the time they were back.

Aaron bit his lip. He tried not to wonder about how he would feel when he saw Robert, but it was a battle he’d been losing for days now.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron returns to Emmerdale with Ed. How will he react to finding out about Dylan? How does Robert cope with his feelings?

‘Aw! Man! I missed you!’

Adam pulled Aaron into a hug at the airport arrivals lounge. ‘Ed! Good to see you, mate! Has he been behaving himself, this one?’

Aaron looked at the dark night sky. It was after midnight. He saw Ed shiver and patted his arm sympathetically, laughing.

‘You’ll get used to our Northern temperatures soon enough.’ He teased.

‘Well, I’ll have to if we decide to move here, won’t I?’ Ed smiled back at him.

‘Seriously? Are you going to move back? Oh that’s great news, man. I miss you at the yard, Aaron.’

‘Don’t get too excited, yet. It’s only an idea.’ Aaron replied. ‘And you didn’t tell anyone we were coming, did you? What did you say to Vic and Robert about coming out at this time of night? They must have been suspicious.’

‘Yeah, sorry, mate. I had to tell Vic. She is my wife you know.’ He went on, ‘But I thought you would have known? Robert moved out and into Ashley’s old place over three weeks ago now. Anyway, everyone will know soon enough, starting with your mum in around thirty minute’s time.’ He grinned. ‘Her face is going to be a prize when she sees you.’

 

The next morning, Aaron got up early, still buzzing from the night before. As predicted his Mum had been over the moon to see him and they had all sat up in the kitchen catching up until late into the night. Now he just wanted some time in his own head, so he told Ed he was going for a run.

‘You don’t mind, do you? Me, going on my own?’

Ed sat up in Aaron's bed.

‘Of course not! I understand. You need to get acclimatized. But be back in time for breakfast! I’m a bit nervous of your Mum.’

 

Dylan was sleeping in Robert’s bed, lying on his stomach with one leg bent up. Robert slowly pulled the cover down from on top of him, exposing his round dancer’s arse and slender muscular thighs. He lay his head on the pillow next to Dylan’s face and ran his forefinger slowly down his spine and onto his arse cheeks. Dylan’s eyelids fluttered open.

‘Good morning, young man.’ Robert blinked at him.

‘Didn’t we only just go to sleep?’ Dylan objected, letting his eyes shut again.

‘Come on, lazy bones. Your Mum and Dad are coming for lunch at the Woolpack today, remember?’

Dylan puffed out some breath, opening his eyes again.

‘And before that, you need to make sure that I’m fully prepared. Which means I need to be totally relaxed so I don’t fuck your lunch up. So now it’s time for some morning relaxation therapy.’

Dylan smiled sleepily.

Robert moved his finger up to his mouth, making a show of wetting it thoroughly with his saliva, before moving it back down to Dylan’s arse.

 

Robert had gone downstairs to put some coffee on.

There was a knock at the door. It was probably Victoria. Perhaps she was dropping them off something for breakfast, she had a habit of surprising them with culinary gifts. But this was early.

Robert opened the door.

He stood there blinking into the morning light.

 ‘Aaron!’ It was barely a whisper.

‘Alright, Robert.’ There was a shy smile.

‘Aaron!’ He repeated.

Robert became aware that his heart was racing erratically. He couldn’t help himself, he reached forward and for a moment he held Aaron in his arms, pulling him towards himself in an awkward embrace.

‘I can’t believe you’re here! You’re back! And you’ve been running.’ He said in amazement, releasing him reluctantly. He wanted to touch his face.

‘Can I come in, then?’ Aaron half laughed.

Robert backed indoors quickly, ‘Sorry! Come in, come in. I was just putting the kettle on. Do you want a drink of water? Coffee? Is your ankle alright these days to be running?’

Aaron shook his head. Only Robert would think to ask about his wellbeing, would remember.

He stood in the living room looking around at the space. Then he looked at Robert again. He was barefoot, wearing jeans and an unbuttoned shirt revealing his pale torso, the fading scar from the gunshot injury still visible. His hair was a little long, just the length that Aaron considered suited Robert best. His pale eyes were smiling at him tenderly, glowing, the way they’d been those last months when Robert had always been there for him. Before everything had gone pear shaped.

‘I’m just speechless! You came home?’ Robert repeated.

‘I’m here on holiday, just to see Mum and that.’

Robert nodded, taking that in.

‘So you’re not back, back then?’ Aaron could see the flicker of disappointment. He wanted to hold Robert. He knew he couldn’t. And now he needed to tell him about Ed before he discovered it for himself. That was why he’d come round. He couldn’t bear Robert’s face if he had to deal with seeing Ed as a surprise. He hated to see him hurt.

So he continued,

‘And Mum hadn’t seen Ed for well years, so we thought it could be a good chance for them to get to know each other a bit.'

Robert suddenly felt himself plummeting down back to earth at a sickening speed. The photo flashed before him.

‘He’s here.’ His voice had a new edge.

‘Yes. We came together.’

‘Ed’s here.’ Robert repeated. Of course he was here. What had he expected?

‘Robert I…’

There was a thundering of steps on the stairs. And a young lad appeared, wearing nothing but briefs over slim hips showing off a slender toned body, the kind of body that looked as good naked as dressed.

‘Robbie’ he called as he ran down ‘There’s no hot water again. And I thought you were going to join me?’

He stopped dead at the bottom of the stairs at the sight of Aaron.

Robert’s eyes moved to Dylan and back to Aaron again.

‘Hi!’ Dylan said looking at Aaron in surprise.

Dylan moved quickly next to Robert and slipped an arm around his waist.  Robert placed a hand on Dylan’s shoulder and let it slide down his arm, until it rested there loosely, holding him.

Aaron blinked in shock. They were a couple, standing in front of him, holding each other.

Robert was with someone.

He felt himself blush. How foolish he’d been, assuming that Robert and Robert’s happiness revolved around him some way.

Robert spoke. ‘This is Dylan.’ There was a moment’s hesitation ‘My boyfriend.’ 

The words hung in the air between them.

Aaron placed a hand on the back of a nearby chair.

‘Dylan, this is Aaron. Chas’s son. He lives in Paris.’

Dylan nodded.

‘Aaron.’ He repeated with a small frown.

 Then Robert looked down at his face. ‘You need to put some clothes on, love.’

Dylan looked back at him, Aaron could see the adoration in his eyes. ‘I need a shower. There’s no hot water.’

‘You just need to press the reset button on the boiler. I already showed you, remember?’

‘Can you show me again?’

‘Give me a minute, eh? ’

Dylan glanced again at Aaron, then ran back up the stairs as noisily as he’d come down.

Robert pushed his hands in the pockets of his jeans.

Aaron’s head whirled.

‘Ss... Sorry. It wasn’t a good time to call round.’

‘It was fine. I’m glad you did.’

‘I need to go. Ed will be waiting for me back at the Woolpack anyway.’ His voice trailed off.

They looked at each other, caught in the impossibility of the situation. Aaron knew he should go really, now. He was intruding.

‘Where’d you meet?’

‘Bar West.’

Aaron turned down the corners of his mouth to show his surprise.

‘He was dancing on the table with his top off.’ Robert continued, ’Well, almost.’

Aaron nodded, acknowledging the reference.

‘So you’ve changed.’

‘I’d like to think so.’ Robert agreed, nodding.

They heard the shower water in the pipes.

‘Must have figured it out, or he’s taking a cold shower.’ Aaron observed.

Robert smiled. ‘I wouldn’t put it past him.’

‘So, you’re out …or people just don’t know? It’s a private thing like?’

‘I’m out. Your mum must’ve told you?’

‘Nobody told me anything, mate.’

Aaron turned to go, then hesitated.

 ‘Err… and… Robbie?’ He asked.

‘I know. It’s his thing. He says it to wind me up.’

 

Back at the Woolpack, Aaron sat in the kitchen with Chas and Diane after breakfast. Ed had gone up to take a shower.

Chas looked at Aaron’s face.

‘What’s up love?’

‘Why didn’t anyone tell me about Robert?’

‘What about Robert?’ Diane asked.

‘Well that he’s out and with a lad.’

‘Didn’t you tell him Chas? I just assumed you knew, pet.’

‘Yeah, well. It must’ve just slipped my mind. Anyway, you know now. How’d you find out?’ Chas asked, trying to disguise her guilt.

‘I popped in to see him before breakfast and they were both there, together. It was like, really awkward. If I’d known I wouldn’t have gone there.  And weren’t you all a bit surprised? That he just started dating a bloke. I mean, he always said he wasn’t gay.’

‘Yes, we were. But he sat here in the crowded pub one day and just said it right out, that he was bisexual. And I think he’s found peace with himself to be honest.’

Aaron nodded. ‘Yeah?’

 ‘And he and young Dylan, they’ve been joined at the hip these past few weeks, pet. That’s why Dylan’s parents are coming today for lunch. I think they just want to check that Robert’s trustworthy. He’s practically moved in and he is only nineteen. But he’s made a big difference to Robert. You can tell he makes him happy.’

Aaron raised his eyebrows. What a prize idiot he’s been. Robert had moved on. And why wouldn’t he? And why did he feel suddenly so bleak as if someone had snuffed out the joy of being back home.

 

Aaron and Ed went out to visit Adam at the scrap yard.

When they got back to the Woolpack, and walked into the kitchen, Robert and Dylan were sitting at the kitchen table, while Diane was filling the kettle.

Both men were looking casual smart, wearing shirts over jeans, freshly washed and shaved and smelling of expensive men’s cologne. Robert was wearing a hallmark patterned blue affair and Dylan’s shirt was plain white in brushed cotton. To Robert’s horror Dylan had rolled up his shirt sleeves so now Robert was unrolling them and fastening the cuff buttons up for him properly.

 ‘Diane, this lad here doesn’t know how to wear a shirt properly!’ He said. ‘That’s better!’ He added when he was done.

 He put up his hand to cup Dylan’s chin, squeezing his cheeks and pulling his face from side to side, before giving his face a soft slap.

‘Don’t hurt him, pet.’ Diane laughed. ‘His mum and dad won’t be impressed.’

At Diane’s words, Robert straightened Dylan’s collar, checking that it covered the marks on the back of his neck, and grinned at Dylan, who leaned forward for a kiss. Then Robert noticed Aaron and Ed entering the room, and turned away, so that Dylan ended up kissing his cheek, rather than his lips.

Robert stood up rapidly, and Dylan followed his lead.

There was an awkward moment, with everybody looking at each other, then Robert spoke.

‘So, aren’t you going to introduce us then?’ he said to Aaron.

‘Sure. Sorry. Ed this is Robert, who is Diane’s step son and also a partner in the scrap yard where we’ve just been and he’s also Vic’s brother, obviously. And this is Dylan, Robert’s boyfriend who I just met this morning and know absolutely nothing about, sorry mate, no offence.’

‘And this is Ed, who is a rugby player and who is...’  Aaron hesitated, all at once.

‘Aaron’s boyfriend.’ Robert said it for him.

He stepped forward to shake Ed’s hand. It was strange to touch him. Robert held on perhaps a little longer than he should looking into Ed’s eyes, trying to read some clues that might help him to understand what he had that had taken Aaron away from him.

 ‘Good to meet you at last. Listen, I would love to buy you a drink but we have a lunch date with Dylan’s parents so...’

‘Fine,’ Aaron butted in, ‘another time.’

 

Dylan’s parents shook hands warmly with Robert when they met him, looking at him closely. Diane did a great welcome as Robert’s step mum and placed a couple of bottles of chardonnay on the table, joining them for a glass. Victoria served them lunch personally. They were left in no doubt that Dylan was dating a respectable man with a caring family network, so that, even if they did still think Robert was much too old, at least they were reassured that he was safe.

‘He’s always been a good boy, but since he started college he got a bit wild, going out too much and not coming home. To be honest it’s a bit of a relief that he’s got Robert now, cos you do worry, when they’re like that, don’t you?’ Dylan’s mum confided in Diane.

After lunch, they took them back to show them the cottage. Robert made them coffee and Dylan’s Dad admired Robert’s car, trying to hide the fact that he was rather awestruck at the evidence of wealth. Robert told him about his new business and gave him an invitation to the launch the following week, explaining that after that he would probably be working day and night for a good while.

‘And you’re not skipping classes at college are you?’ Dylan’s Dad checked with his son. ‘It’s nearly the end of the year and if you get good grades you’ve got acceptances from some quality dance schools, including Manchester and London.’

Robert pushed a hand through Dylan’s hair.

‘He’s not skipping classes while I’m around.’ He said with authority.

 

Aaron and Ed had been to see Paddy and were walking back when Robert and Dylan were saying goodbye to Dylan’s parents on the street outside Robert’s cottage.

Aaron watched Robert, his arm around Dylan’s waist as they waved to Dylan’s parents. When the car had driven off he saw Robert tease Dylan wiping away pretend tears so that Dylan play punched him in the stomach and then laughing they went indoors.

‘You alright, Aaron? You’ve gone very quiet.’

‘Have I? I’m fine. I’m fine.’

 

‘I need to make a couple of work related calls and then I’m all yours.’ Robert said to Dylan. It was then he noticed that he’d left his jacket at the pub.

‘I won’t be long.’ He called behind him.

Robert walked in the kitchen at the Woolpack, which was so quiet that he thought no one was in the room. Then he saw them. Aaron with Ed, sharing an embrace, a kiss. Their bodies were close, hips pressed together and Robert heard the slide of material on material between them. Aaron’s eyes were looking down and Ed was looking at him, his hand was on his face with his thumb stroking his cheek. He was murmuring something. Robert had no doubt where this was going.

He backed out as quietly as he’d come, wondering where to go.

He found himself at the back door walking out into the car park. He was overwhelmed with nausea. He knew he had this jealousy squeezing the breath out of him, but there were other emotions, too. He had this really familiar feeling but he was struggling to name it. He never had been good at identifying feelings, or controlling them, he wished he could do both. And then all at once it came to him what it was, this feeling he hadn’t recognized, it was loneliness.

It was going to happen to him, he was going to spend his future alone. Because being without Aaron meant being alone.

He looked about.

This was where they’d shot him.

He stood there, struggling for his breath all over again, bending double with the pain.

For a moment he wished Ross was there with a revolver. Why hadn’t he just finished the job properly the first time?

Then he saw Dylan coming towards him from the distance, smiling into the wind that was blowing his fringe into his eyes.

‘Did you get your jacket?’ he called out ‘I went to get milk.’

Dylan looked about the empty car park. ‘This space is great! Look!’

  Placing the milk carton down, he took a run and suddenly did a pirouette.

‘For fuck’s sake, Dylan.’

Dylan looked into his face.

‘Robbie? You look sad. We’re you thinking about when you got shot? I’ll look after you.’

He cupped Robert’s face and kissed him.

‘Take me home.’ Robert said.

 

  ‘Who is Aaron then?’

Dylan had taken off his T-shirt and was lying on the carpet doing push ups.

Robert closed his laptop. It was around eight already. No doubt Aaron and Ed would be having drinks in the pub with Adam and Vic and assorted Dingles, Chas making a fuss of them all like the proud mum.

‘You met him today.’

‘No, I mean tell me about him.’

‘There’s nothing to tell, now shut up.’

Robert got down on the carpet and sat next to Dylan, running a hand over his back and down to his thigh as he continued his exercises.

This was the best way to avoid thinking about Aaron, or thinking at all.

‘Your mum and dad asked me to look after you, so I’m going to keep my word and I plan to look after you right now.’ He started to pull off Dylan’s trousers. ‘For fuck’s sake Dylan, it’s time you started wearing looser jeans. The waste of energy dragging these off you.’

Dylan laughed and helped Robert finish what he’d started, wriggling out of his trousers and boxers.

‘Don’t stop the push ups, now.’

 Dylan grinned and resumed his exercise, naked. Robert watched, admiring his toned young body, his already erect cock swaying under him.

 ‘Keep going.’ He muttered as Dylan paused.

As he watched, Robert slowly started to undress. Dylan glanced sideways at him, his push ups slowing as his breathing became uneven. He did one more, then stopped and knelt back, knees apart, mouth open.

Robert shuffled close and leaned into a kiss. He moved his head down to Dylan’s lap and let his mouth go down, sucking on his sweet cock, Dylan’s fingers in his hair.

They heard passers-by on the pavement outside. The sky turned dark.

‘Robbie, we’d better close the curtains.’ Dylan whispered.

‘OK. I’ll close the curtains, you turn around for me, and hold on to the sofa.’

Robert slid on a condom, and then massaged Dylan with lube and pushed inside.

He leaned right over Dylan and kissed his back which was sweaty from the exercise. As he felt Dylan relax, he pushed in further, then started to thrust into him with measured strokes.

He listened to Dylan, and changed up the angle until Dylan cried out.

‘Robbie! Unghh Robert!’

Robert could hear the sound of his flesh slapping against Dylan’s.

‘So you do know my proper name?’ He laughed with a growl.

Dylan was unravelling. He continued to thrust, listening to his moans. 

‘Robert! God! Oh God! GOD!’

‘Take it steady, Dylan.’ Robert warned and paused. He ran the flat of his hands softly over his back and hips.

Dylan twisted his neck back, hungry, reaching for a kiss.

‘Don’t stop! Go on! Go on!’

Robert waited as long as he could, feeling Dylan pushing back, but not allowing him to take control.

‘Wait.’ He whispered.

He reached a hand forward and rolled Dylan’s balls between his fingers, listening to him whimper. He stroked his shaft lightly up and down, skimming his lips over his neck under his ear.

When he felt Dylan could bear it no longer, Robert started to thrust again. Immediately Dylan was losing it again, moaning louder.

Robert speeded up, sweat running down the sides of his face.

 ‘I’ve got you.’

Dylan reached back and held onto a fistful of Robert’s hair, his throat arched backwards, his mouth open. He cried out, shooting cum as he came on Robert’s still thrusting cock. As his body went into spasm, Robert followed him, shooting his load into the condom. After, he pulled out and sank back onto the carpet.

He pulled Dylan down, holding him against his chest, laughing while Dylan lay collapsed beside him, eyes closed, unable to move his limbs.

‘Dylan?’ He laughed, lifting his face by his hair.

Dylan smiled blissfully, his eyelids wet, barely open.

‘It’s all your fault!’ He slurred.

‘You were ready for it. You just let it all go.’

 ‘Was it good for you, too?’ Dylan asked.

‘Of course.’

‘Do you love me?’ Dylan asked.

‘I love your fat arse.’ Robert answered rapidly.

‘Do you? Do you love me? Even a little bit?’ Dylan looked up at his face.

‘Come on Dylan. Don’t ask me that, sweetheart. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.’

‘I love you.’

Robert clenched his jaw. Why did this have to happen?

‘You’re too young to love anybody. Don’t confuse love and lust.’

Robert remembered Katie. Shit. He’d been Dylan’s age.

 ‘Do you love Aaron, then? Is that why?’

Robert stood up quickly.

‘Wh..?’

‘When you rang me when you were drunk that time, you called me Aaron. He came to see you this morning without Ed, you were the first person in the village he came to see. And the way you are when he’s there.’

‘Look if this is the reaction I get after a fuck, I just won’t fuck you again, go and fuck somebody else.’

Grabbing his clothes he started walking up the stairs.

‘Go fuck yourself’ Dylan called after him. ‘I’ll take that as a yes then, about Aaron. I mean.’

 

Robert let the water from the shower wash over him.

Dylan stepped in and joined him. He pulled down Robert’s face into a kiss.

‘Sorry. I was just being jealous and ridiculous. I don’t want to spoil things. I didn’t mess up, did I?’

‘No. You’re fine.’

‘It was the sex. I never… ‘

‘I know. It was great sex. The best.’

Robert wrapped his arms around Dylan and hugged him.

Neither of them mentioned Aaron.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Dylan have breakfast with Aaron and Ed. While jealousy gets the better of Dylan, Robert is busy getting ready for the launch of his new business. He invites Aaron to come and see the business but will he show up? Aaron and Ed make a big decision.

 In the morning, while Dylan jogged down to the shop to get a Sunday paper, Robert stood in the living room in his dressing gown, drinking coffee and zapping channels with the remote control.

He’d opened the curtains, keeping one eye on the road outside.

He hadn’t actually articulated to himself what or who he was hoping to see from the window so early on a Sunday, but his eyes drifted to the road wistfully rather than focusing on the images on the TV.

As Dylan came back into view, he saw him stop and say something to Belle Dingle, presumably also on her way to the shop. He realized from her smile and her body language that she found Dylan attractive. He looked more closely at Dylan, dressed in harem jogging pants and a black T-shirt, his hair falling over his forehead. He was attractive. With his striking eyes, and a body that was supple, smooth and sexy, Robert still wasn’t bored of him.

Dylan came clattering in through the front door and flung the paper on the table and then emptied the carrier bag of milk, a punnet of strawberries and a bottle of chocolate syrup.

‘What’s that for? You know we’re going to Vic’s for breakfast.’ Robert asked.

Dylan grinned, picking up the syrup bottle thoughtfully, he stepped over to Rob. He moved up close and pushed his other hand inside his dressing gown.

‘It’s not for breakfast, Robbie. It’s for you.’

Robert raised his eyebrows quizzically.

‘Is that right?’

Dylan’s hand traveled tentatively down past the waistband of Robert’s pyjamas.

‘I just fancied a chocolate sundae, since it is Sunday today, after all.’ He narrowed his eyes looking up at Robert, his tongue wetting his lips.

 Robert looked back down at him.

‘We’re doing this then, are we?

‘Yes. We’re doing this. Just think how dull your life would be without me?’ Dylan moved his mouth closer.

‘OK.’ Robert glanced at the time, then pressed his lips against Dylan’s. ‘Back upstairs, then.’

 

A couple of hours later, they walked in through the front door of Vic’s cottage, freshly showered, smelling of soap and toothpaste. Dylan was carrying flowers for Victoria and presented them to her.

‘Well they’re nice!’  Victoria said, finding a vase to put them in water. ‘I hope you’re both hungry. You didn’t eat anything before you came, did you?’ 

Robert stretched his eyes at Dylan.

Adam had gone down to the shop to get some bread so they offered to help, but Robert’s phone rang and since it was a business call he was forced to take it. He stepped out into the back garden while Dylan stayed in the kitchen.

The smell of fresh coffee filled the air. Dylan sliced oranges to go into a press for juice.

‘Vic, tell me about Aaron.’ he asked, now that they were alone.

Vic’s eyes flickered to Robert in the garden, phone to ear, one hand in pocket, kicking absently at the grass as he spoke at length.

 ‘What’s Rob told you?’ She replied.

‘Nothing. Nothing at all, actually.’

‘Well, then, I think you have to ask him really, don’t you?’

She saw the look on Dylan’s face.

‘It’s all over anyway, isn’t it? I mean he’s with you, now, and Aaron’s only here for a week.’

‘So they were together, then?’

‘You must have known that?’ Vic looked surprised.

‘No, I told you, he hasn’t told me anything.’

‘So, what do you know about Robert’s breakup with Chrissie?’

‘He had an affair.’ Dylan looked at Vic.  ‘Oh. Now I get it. It was Aaron, wasn’t it?’

 

When Robert walked back into the kitchen, he slid a hand around the front of Dylan’s waist and pulled him against him. He picked up a slice of apple and dipping it in sugar and cinnamon, fed it to Dylan, wiping the sugar off his lips with his thumb.

‘Will you two get a room?’ Victoria laughed.

They heard the front door open. As Adam entered the house, they could hear that he wasn’t alone.

‘Look who I found on the way here!’ He called, wandering into the kitchen, all at once followed by Aaron and Ed.

Robert quickly stood up, releasing Dylan from his hold and sliding his hands into his pockets. Dylan settled back against the kitchen counter, folding his arms.

‘Alright?’ Aaron nodded a greeting. ‘Adam didn’t tell us you were here.’

Robert gestured.

‘Well we are, as you can see.’

‘How is your head after last night?’ Victoria asked Aaron. ‘You were knocking them back in the pub there, I noticed.’

Aaron waved his hand from side to side. ‘Yeah, I think I did overdo it slightly! I had a good few coffees this morning.’

 ‘Aw man. You’ve got to make the most of the Yorkshire beer while you’re here, unless you decide to stay, that is.’ Adam squeezed Aaron’s shoulder affectionately.

Robert raised his eyebrows. ‘What’s this about staying?’ Dylan watched Robert’s face.

It was Ed that answered. ‘I think he’s homesick. Aaron prefers tea and toast to coffee and croissant any day, don’t you?’ He smiled at Aaron. ‘So I have a meeting tomorrow with the Leeds Rugby team, thinking about a possible transfer. They’ve told me they’re interested in signing me up. So we’ll see.’

‘Well that’s good news, isn’t it?’ Robert responded.

‘Could be.’ Aaron shrugged.

‘So come on, let’s eat!’ Victoria urged them out of the kitchen towards the table laid ready for breakfast.

‘I don’t think we’re staying.’ Aaron started, but Ed was eyeing the already cooked pancakes, bacon and fruit salad.

‘Looks nice food, Aaron, mon cheri.’

He put his chin on Aaron’s shoulder and kissed his cheek. Aaron blushed and Robert turned away and started fussing over the coffee cups Vic had prepared.

 

At breakfast, Dylan hardly spoke or ate, instead he kept looking at his phone under the table while the others joined in an exchange of noisy conversation and banter, punctuated by laughter.

‘What are you doing?’ Robert asked him quietly.

‘Just answering a text.’ Dylan nodded distractedly, raising his eyes to Robert’s chin.

‘Put it away, eh?’

Dylan stood up and went to the kitchen. He looked at his phone for a while then stood looking out the window at the light drizzle that had scattered droplets breaking and running down the window pane. Dylan shook out his shoulders and arms, as he would when warming up for a dance, then exhaled heavily. He was trying to rid himself of the pressure building around his chest and throat. He could hear the blokes laughing and Robert’s voice saying something but he couldn’t catch the words. For a moment he wondered what exactly he was doing there at all. He looked back at his phone and started editing a play list, trying to stop himself from thinking.

It was about ten minutes later that Robert went to get more coffee.

‘What are you doing in here?’

‘It hardly matters where I am. You’ve totally ignored me all morning, except to tell me off. You’re not my Dad.’

‘Then act a bit more mature.’ Robert snapped back

Dylan blinked.

‘You know what. I don’t need this!’ He said suddenly. ‘I’ve got friends meeting up for a dance practice today. We have a performance on Friday.  I didn’t go because I thought you’d be busy all week, so I wanted to spend time with you, but I just changed my mind.’

Dylan moved towards the door.

‘Don’t even think about walking out on my sister’s breakfast, Dylan.’ Robert hissed.

‘Why? You haven’t looked at me or touched me since your ex walked through the door.’

‘Is that what all this is about?’

It was then he saw the tears in Dylan’s eyes.

‘It was supposed to be just us.’ He blurted, turning away so that Robert couldn’t see his face.

‘Come on Dylan, you’re being ridiculous! I thought we put this behind us yesterday?’

On cue, Aaron walked into the kitchen carrying a pile of plates, calling out behind him.

‘Vic, you did yourself proud. Ta very much!’

Dylan made a sprightly move out of the back door and down the garden. Robert's eyes darted from Aaron to Dylan.

‘Is he alright?’ Aaron asked.

‘Fine.’ Robert answered.

Robert hesitated for a moment and then went out the back door.

He walked down to where Dylan was standing under the drizzling rain, facing away from the house, pulling leaves from an old apple tree. His face was wet. As Robert approached, he wiped his eyes with his sleeve, avoiding eye contact, turning away again.

‘Dylan, you’re being an idiot.’ Robert said softly.

‘Then why did I feel like I was invisible all morning?’ Dylan replied.

 ‘Come here.’ Robert reached out his arms. ‘You’re not invisible. You’ve got to stop being so jealous.’

Robert kissed him, running a thumb under his eyes to wipe away the tears there. He deepened the kiss.

‘You know I’m crazy about you.’ Robert whispered. ’What about this morning, eh, can’t you see what you do to me? How you turn me on?’

Aaron watched from the kitchen window. Robert’s hand was on Dylan’s neck and his thumb was on his cheek. His other hand was open against Dylan’s back, pulling his body closer. Aaron knew those hands, the feel of their touch on his skin. He knew Robert’s lips, how they tasted. He watched Robert and Dylan sway together. He could see Robert was talking into Dylan’s ear and Dylan’s eyes were lowered as he listened.

He felt a wrenching pain in his stomach. He’d left because Robert wouldn’t admit to who he was, wouldn’t come out. Now he was confused. Why would he come out for this lad, if he hadn’t for him?

Ed came into the kitchen and stepped up beside him.

‘Aw. That’s romantic.’ He said following the direction of his gaze to where Robert and Dylan were still locked together. ‘They seem a nice couple. They look like they’re really in love with each other, don’t you think?’

‘Yeah. Yeah, they do!’ Aaron answered gruffly, turning away. ‘Let’s leave them to it, then, eh?’ He smiled at Ed and patting his shoulder, walked back into the living room.

‘We need to go.’ He announced.

 

In the Woolpack, Aaron jostled Ed upstairs to his room, avoiding his Mum who was in the kitchen.

‘Hey, Hey! What’s this then?’ Ed asked with a smile.

‘Must be all those carbohydrates.’ Aaron joked. He pulled Ed’s T-shirt over his head and unfastened his trousers then pushed him onto the bed. Pulling off his own clothes, he lay down next to him and opened his thighs and reached for Ed to move over him. He wanted to feel Ed filling him. Somehow he had to shake the images from his mind. He felt disturbed and unbalanced as if there was something he was supposed to have done but had forgotten.

Ed kissed him and sensing Aaron’s urgency, he pushed inside him. Aaron closed his eyes at the sensation, his cock hard and leaking. As Ed moved back and forth, he moaned and looked up over his shoulder.

He tried not to think of Robert, feeling guilty for letting thoughts of him occupy his mind.

Bringing his hand down, he fisted himself rapidly as Ed continued to thrust into him. But it was still Robert’s face he saw, Robert’s skin he felt, Robert’s voice he heard in his head, battling for his attention. He came hard, gasping with relief, after he had to stop himself from pushing Ed away too quickly. He waited, then turned on his side facing away and closed his eyes drifting into a shallow sleep.

After they woke and showered, when they were about to go down, he held Ed’s arm and spoke.

‘I need to tell you something about Robert. He and I we, well we had something, we were in a relationship, if you can call it that.’

‘Oh.’  Ed looked taken aback. ‘So why are you telling me now and not before?’

‘I don’t know. It was all over a while ago and it didn’t end well. But later he helped me with all the stuff with Gordon. He was a mate, and I’m grateful to him. So, I wanted you to know, that’s all.’

‘But it’s all over. I mean, he and Dylan look pretty wrapped up in each other from what I saw over the past couple of days, and you haven’t mentioned him before. I don’t need to worry about this, do I?’

‘It’s all over.’ Aaron reassured him.

 

The week ahead was a big week for Robert. His business was starting up, with the big launch booked for the following Saturday. He’d hired staff and the stock was starting to arrive. Mostly he was selling vintage British motors, with some other sports car brands. He had Jaguars, a Sunbeam Tiger, Aston Martins and a Jensen Interceptor as well as other brands. He was dealing with big money, but Robert thrived on the communication, turning on the charm or being ruthless as the situation demanded, thinking ahead and thinking fast. He was good at it and he knew it.

As Dylan had predicted, they hardly saw each other. In the evening, Dylan would make his own way back to Robert’s and go to bed before Robert arrived home. Dylan was also rehearsing for the dance performance that he and his co students would be performing that Friday at a theatre venue in the city, so some nights he was late too.

Monday evening, Dylan was already asleep when Robert got back and after a glass of whiskey in the living room, he undressed and lay down next to him, spooning him and falling instantly into a deep sleep.

The next night though, Robert was wired from business when he got home, late again. He woke Dylan, pulling him out of bed, and pushed him, half complaining, half laughing into the shower. Dylan’s thigh muscles and stomach muscles ached from dancing, and Robert squeezed them with his fingers, thrusting his tongue hard into Dylan’s mouth. He turned him and pressed him up against the tiles face forward, then spread his legs and pushed his fingers between his arse cheeks and rhythmically into his hole, listening to Dylan moan with excitement. He quickly replaced his fingers with his swollen cock, and fucked him fast and hard under the water stream.

 ‘I’ve been thinking about you all day.’ He groaned.

Dylan’s scrunched up his eyes and gasped with the burn. Fisting himself in time with Robert’s thrusts, he felt his heart suddenly banging in his chest and came open mouthed, swooning at the strength of his climax, so that Robert caught him and held him to stop him falling till his heart rate started to come back down again.

After, Robert put him back to bed and brought him up a cup of tea with sugar and toast and butter.

‘Are you exercising too hard? Maybe with all this rehearsing you’re pushing yourself too much.’ Robert said, concerned.

‘Are you sleeping enough?’

When Dylan had finished the toast, he lay down and slept. Robert wrapped an arm around his waist and slept too, only to be woken  at 6.30 the next morning by the alarm.

 

It was the next evening that Robert saw Aaron as he was parking his car.

 Aaron put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie and stopped to speak with him, tilting his head in greeting.

‘Nice motor.’ He said softly.

Robert nodded.

‘I knew you’d appreciate it.’ He paused then added. ‘Want to take a closer look?’

 They walked round the car together, Robert popped the bonnet and showed Aaron the engine. Aaron hid a smile at Robert’s familiar boyish enthusiasm.

‘No Ed?’ Robert asked casually.

‘He’s at the Woolpack with me Mum, I just dropped in on Adam and Vic.’

Robert hesitated.

‘Why don’t you come in? I can make you a brew. Or you might want something stronger, a beer or?’

‘No mate, you’re alright. I wouldn’t want to disturb you and Dylan, it’s late.’

Robert swallowed. He kept his voice light.

‘Dylan’s not here. He’s dancing.’

‘Dancing?’ Aaron asked with surprise.

Robert smiled. ‘It’s what he does.’ He explained. ‘He’s a dancer, well a student learning to dance at the moment, at college. It was quite literal what I said about when I met him. I wasn’t making it up.’

Aaron pulled his lips together.

‘Really? So that explains the …’

‘What?’

‘The... That he looks... muscular… in places.’ Aaron went on feeling like he was digging himself into a hole here.

‘You talking about my boyfriend’s arse?’ Robert objected with a half grin. Then added ‘Well, you’re bloke looks pretty buff too.’

‘What, you want to swap, now?’ Aaron joked.

Robert shook his head.

‘Ed got the contract by the way. The one with Leeds Rugby Team.’ Aaron said all at once.

‘Seriously? So you’re moving back?’

‘Looks possible. We’ll have to go back to Paris for a while. Ed has to work out his contract there and there’s stuff to sort.’

‘He could go back on his own. You could stay here.’

‘No I need to go back, Robert. It wouldn’t be fair on him if I didn’t.’

Robert paused, replaying the sound of his name on Aaron’s lips.

‘Then what will you do? Go back to the scrapyard?’

‘I think that’s what Adam wants.’

Neither of them spoke, then Robert said.

‘Aaron, come and visit my business before you go back to France, eh? I’d like you to see it.’

‘OK.’

 ‘Sure you won’t come in?’

‘Goodnight.’

 

Friday was a big day for Robert, getting ready for the business launch. He’d hired event organizers and together they had planned caterers with finger food and champagne, decorations with balloons, banners and ribbons, publicity and promotions. Robert had dealt with advertising in papers and the local radio stations. There was going to be a raffle for a vintage bike and they had hired a female model, to drape herself around the cars.

Clive came round late afternoon to check on the final preparations, while Robert sent everyone home, except the security guard.

‘So now you’re all set up, I’ll buy you dinner for a change, if you like?’

‘Thanks, but I’m going to see Dylan’s show, aren’t I? It’s not really my thing, but he’ll be upset if I’m not there. Come with me if you want?’

‘You know what?’ Clive answered. ‘Much as I would love to spend a couple of hours looking at your boyfriend’s rather lovely body, since I’m not the one who gets to fuck him afterwards, I’ll leave it for now and I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He patted Robert’s arm and left.

Robert got out the keys to lock up and waved to the security guard who was installed in his mini office with a vantage point of the showroom.

It was at that moment that Aaron walked in.

‘Hey, am I too late? Looks like you’ve shut up shop. You asked me to drop by, so I here I am. ‘

‘Aaron!'

‘Where’s Ed?’ Robert asked Aaron

‘He has a cousin like three times removed or something, I don’t know and he promised his mum he’d drop in before we went back to Paris.’

Robert nodded.

‘And you’re going tomorrow?’

‘Yeah, we have a morning flight. We’ll be back in July at some point.’

Robert nodded, July seemed a long way off right now.

‘Wow, so this place looks fancy.’ Aaron commented, looking around at all the banners and balloons and then past those at the chic show room with large glass windows, so that the cars were visible from outside.

 ‘Looks great, Robert.’ he went on ‘You must be proud of what you’ve achieved.’ He smiled. ’And looks like you’ve got some nice motors.’

‘You want to see them?’ Robert smiled.

‘That’s why I’m here, isn’t it?’

The security guard was sitting in a small office at a vantage point for the cars.

Robert spoke to him.

‘Keith. Go and get yourself a breather, eh?’ He turned back to Aaron.  ‘So let me show you what we’ve got here.’

Robert took him round and explained each car's vintage and special features. His body felt light and warm. He watched Aaron as he bent over to look inside a car, seeing the white skin on his neck under his dark hairline. He drew in his breath. He wanted to touch him so badly, but knew Aaron wouldn't want that, now he had Ed.

He started showing Aaron the Ford Zodiac, the biggest car he had. He unlocked it and explained to Aaron about the dashboard.

Aaron stopped listening to his words and started looking at his lips.

‘I still just can’t believe that you came out.’  He said suddenly, out of the blue.

Robert straightened up. ‘You didn’t believe I would?’

‘It didn’t seem likely, at the time.’

Robert frowned and spoke quietly.

‘It doesn’t matter anyway, anymore.’

'Why?'

Robert didn’t answer.

Aaron’s heart started to race. Did he mean because he’d moved on, he wondered.

‘Why doesn’t it matter? Robert? Maybe it matters to me.’

Aaron leaned forward towards him.

Robert watched him in shock. His mouth suddenly dry. He hadn’t expected this.

Then Aaron kissed him.

For a moment, Robert felt suspended in space and time.

His heart felt as if it had stopped.

And then suddenly he heard a rushing of blood in his ears. He opened his mouth responding to the pressure from Aaron’s tongue and he could hear himself moan.

All at once, Aaron was pulling Robert’s shirt from his trousers, finding the bare skin of his waist with his hands.

They pressed hungrily against each other. Aaron grappled with Robert’s belt. Robert’s hands ran down his chest and stomach through the material of his black hoodie. He pulled the zip open and pushed it off his shoulders.

Aaron had undone Robert’s trousers now. His hand stroking him through his boxers. Robert moaned at the touch.

Aaron looked around and steered Robert to the door of the back seat of Zodiac. Climbing into the car he pulled off his trousers. Robert pulled off his own trousers and scooted next to him. Aaron gripped Robert's boxers and pulled them off.

‘Oh God I missed this.’  Robert moaned as Aaron stroked and fisted him. Aaron pushed his thumb over Robert’s cockhead using the liquid leaking from Robert’s slit to glide over him and round the rim of his hood. Then he pulled their cocks together and stroked them, Robert lowered his hand and took over.

Aaron had a condom between his teeth.

Lube? He asked.

‘Sorry.’ Robert answered.

‘OK. Never mind.’ He spat and started to press his middle finger against Robert’s hole.

‘Aaron, Aaron’

Robert looked at him, moaning at the sensation, starting to shift down and raise his legs in anticipation.

Aaron pulled Robert towards him across the back seat. He levered one of his impossibly long legs up against the back of the front seat, pulling his hips open. He knelt in front of him  while Robert, panting, watched him as he finally rolled on the condom.

And then he pushed in. With no lube there was a burn, but Robert didn’t care, all he knew was that Aaron was filling him. It was everything.

Aaron hissed between his teeth.

It was so long since they’d done this, months and months, yet the time didn’t matter. This was where they were meant to be, where they belonged.

Aaron started to thrust inside him. Robert held onto his arms.

Aaron looked down at him, shaking his head in amazement, tracing the freckles with his eyes, watching Robert’s parted red lips.

He followed Robert’s body down with his eyes and rested them on Robert’s awesome cock arching up over his stomach.

‘I can’t wait, Robert. I’m going to come.’ He said.

Robert nodded.

He watched Aaron as his orgasm overtook him and suddenly felt himself going over the edge, joining him. Aaron’s hand took hold of his cock and stroked him as he sprayed cum onto his stomach and chest.

They lay there, panting without speaking, shocked. Aaron leant back against the door of the car.

‘Sorry.’ Aaron said.

Robert laughed. ‘What are you sorry for?’

‘We shouldn’t have done that.’

‘You reckon?’

‘I mean it. It was amazing, but we still shouldn’t have.’

‘But we did, Aaron. What does that tell you?’

Aaron shook his head.

Robert started to move, looking at himself and the car and trying to make sure that the car was clean.

‘So what next?’ He asked Aaron

‘There is no next, is there? There can’t be. It was a one off. You’ve got Dylan and I’ve got Ed. Tomorrow I’m going back to France.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments welcome.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron goes back to France. Robert has doubts about his relationship with Dylan as things get messy. Aaron makes a huge decision about his future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a long chapter with a lot about Robert and Dylan, but it is important in the context of what's to come. Next chapter is mostly Robert and Aaron and you'll see why when you get there.

When the lights went down in the theatre, Robert closed his eyes and thought about Aaron.

He’d missed the first half of the show entirely and, with the Friday evening traffic, had only just made it in time for the interval. At the car lot, before leaving, he’d changed his clothes into jeans, a T-shirt and his black leather jacket, bundling his suit and stained shirt into a sports bag which he put on the back seat of the car to take home.

At the theatre, he’d pushed his way through the excited bombastic audience to the front row where Dylan’s parents were standing by their seats, eating ice creams. Robert apologized for being late but Dylan’s Dad opened his eyes wide and looking up at Robert answered that, no, they knew tomorrow was the big launch for Robert’s business, they were grateful to him for making time to come at all, that Dylan was very fortunate to have Robert there.

Now, sitting in the hush before the curtain went up, Robert recognized that he was still in shock. He could still feel the physical after effects of being with Aaron, the sting and bruising from Aaron going hard into him when he wasn’t used to it, the soreness on his lips and chin and throat from Aaron’s beard. He didn’t want these sensations to fade. He pushed his fingers against his lips thinking about the sight of Aaron pulling his clothes off in the back of the Zodiac, the feel of his fingers touching inside him. At the back of his mind he kept pushing away the sound of Aaron’s voice saying. ‘It was a one off.’ Aaron had wanted him, just as much as he wanted Aaron and it was about more than sex.

The music was loud and the audience was louder, clapping, shouting out in anticipation as Dylan and a female dance partner were revealed by the stage lighting. Dylan was topless and wearing calf length dance pants that showed the definition of his thighs that Robert knew had been aching for the past couple of weeks. They performed a contemporary dance routine to Ed Sheeran with various mirroring dance moves and arches, lunges and lifts that Robert new nothing about but that the audience obviously adored. The girls screamed at him when the dance ended. But right now Robert was thinking about Aaron. He wondered whether Aaron would choose to be with him if he was single. If he told Dylan it was over between them, would Aaron leave Ed?

There was an ensemble dance to Crazy in Love which Dylan featured in and then a couple of dances without him, and then some hip hop tracks. Dylan had changed into a hip hop outfit. When he started spinning on the stage, the audience went out of control.

Robert needed time to think.

He needed to be alone, he wanted to be driving in his car. He knew the show was almost over now, he wanted to get back to Emmerdale.

After the final curtain call, Dylan jumped down from the stage to Robert. He pulled his face down and kissed him, creating a ripple of dismay across the crowd of female fans crushing forwards to get an autograph.

 ‘You were late. You missed the first half.’ He commented, then smiled. ‘But you were brave to come at all. I know it’s not your thing. But what did you think? Did you like it?’ He asked beaming.

Robert smiled back at him. ‘Well you created quite a reaction.’

 Dylan’s body was glowing with body paint and glitter and he had stage make up on his face. His hairline was wet and his body was clammy to the touch. Some girls from the audience called his name ‘Dylan! Dylan!’ to try and get his attention. Then someone with a professional looking camera approached them. ‘Dylan, would you do an interview for us?’

Amid the noise and chaos, all Robert wanted was to get away.

Dylan turned back to him and held his fingers ‘Robbie, there’s a party, I know you probably won’t want to come. You don’t mind if I go? I know you’ve got a big day tomorrow.’

Robert exhaled with relief. He leaned forward putting a hand around Dylan’s head. ‘You were amazing.’ He whispered.’ I’m so proud of you.’ This time it was Robert who leaned into the kiss. ‘Listen, if you need to catch a taxi home, I’ll pay for it.’

‘Don’t worry. I’ll crash at a friend’s. I’ll see you at some point tomorrow evening.’

Robert was grateful for the silence as he drove home.

His head was filled with Aaron. Aaron would be with Ed now, perhaps they would be having a nightcap with Chas, talking over their plans. Were they touching each other? Aaron didn’t generally feel comfortable touching people, but in the past he would touch Robert, when they were in private, placing a hand gently round his neck, playing with his collar, or threading fingers through his own as a caress. The thought left Robert breathless with longing. Was Aaron thinking about him?

Unlocking the door of the house he poured himself a whiskey, then went up to take a shower. Alone, with the water pouring over him, he leaned his forehead against the tiles and finally gave in to tears, that he'd been holding back all evening.

 

Adam drove Aaron and Ed to Leeds Bradford airport early Saturday morning for their flight to Paris. Chas went with them. None of them were sure whether it was because of the time of day, but the journey to the airport was quiet, Ed up front next to Adam, Aaron next to his Mum on the back seat.

‘So how long did you say before you’ll be back for good?’

‘Mum! You’ve asked us this about 10 million times already. We already said we can’t say for sure, but about 8 weeks which means around the end of July. Then we have August off and Ed starts in September.’

‘Right.’

As they were checking in their bags, Chas visited the news agents and picked up some newspapers for Aaron to look at on the plane.

‘It’s only a short flight you know.’

‘I know, but it’ll distract you. I know you don’t like the flying, love.’

‘Don’t worry, Chas, I’m there to hold his hand.’ Ed looked softly at Aaron.

When they sat on the plane, Ed did as he'd promised and took hold of Aaron’s hand.

‘You’ve been so quiet since yesterday. I know you feel sad about leaving. You could have stayed you know, and I would have come in July when my contracts over.’

Aaron gave a small smile.

‘I’m not sad. I’m glad we’re going back. It’s the right thing to do. I need to be with you.’

He opened the Yorkshire Evening Post that his mum had given him, looking at the sports pages, then he flicked through the rest of the paper. All at once a photo caught his eye. He blinked quickly. He recognized Dylan who was dancing with a girl on stage and at the bottom was another small inset picture of Robert and Dylan kissing in the crowded theatre stalls. Scanning the article he saw that it was an arts review of a dance show. There was a stupid caption.

_Dazzling teen Dylan Fisher stole the show and stole hearts too with his stunning contemporary and hip hop dance performances, but bad luck girls and guys, looks like he’s already spoken for._

He looked up and looked out the window.

‘Is that Dylan?’ Ed asked. ‘I didn’t know he was a dancer.’

‘Yeah, Robert said something about it.’

Aaron closed the paper and closed his eyes pretending to sleep. He could still feel Robert’s hands griping his arms and hear him gasping as Aaron moved inside him, Robert’s solid pale thighs beneath his hips, Robert’s eyes looking at him with such intensity. He saw the photograph in the paper in his mind’s eye. He’d said the right thing to Robert. It had been a one off. They’d both moved on. Robert obviously loved this boy and anything else was just too complicated.

 

On Saturday, the business launch was hectic and tiring and crowded with waves of guests, so that Robert spent the whole day talking and turning on the charm in order to promote the business and win customers.

He wasn’t home until after eleven. Dylan had sent a text saying don’t wait up and Robert went directly to bed exhausted. It was around four in the morning that he woke as Dylan slid into bed next to him turning on his side. Robert turned and wrapped an arm around his waist. ‘What time do call this then, you dirty stop out?’ he growled into his neck, before falling back to sleep again.

In the morning, late, Robert woke with Dylan’s hand on his cock.

‘I missed you, Robbie.’ He whispered, sliding downwards in the bed.

Robert pulled himself up on his elbows and checked the time on his phone. There was a text from Aaron.

He gently but firmly pulled up Dylan’s face by his hair.

‘Later.’ He said, climbing out of bed. He went to the bathroom, taking his phone with him, while Dylan turned frustrated and pouting onto his back, arms outspread, hard cock standing up over his stomach.

‘What’s up?! He called after Robert. ‘I thought you’d have missed me by now?’

After a couple of desultory tugs on his cock, Dylan rolled over and looked at the time. ‘OK. I’m going to make you some coffee.’ He called, pulling on his pyjama trousers and wincing at his leg muscles as he went downstairs.

Robert read the text.

 _Just delete Friday OK, Robert._ Aaron had written

He texted back.

_If you’re texting to tell me this. It means you haven’t deleted it yourself._

He waited.

_I’m asking you as a friend._

Robert hesitated. Aaron knew how to get to him. He could text back that he wanted more, but he wouldn’t do that, he wouldn’t put that pressure on Aaron and Aaron knew it.

 _I’ll always be that._ He texted

 _Thanks. I don’t want to come back in July and not have that._ The message came back.

Robert sighed.

 

Downstairs Dylan put on the coffee machine and drank some fresh orange from the carton, then pulled out clothes from his backpack and shoved them in the washing machine. There was a shirt of Robert’s already in there waiting to be washed, but it was his pale blue patterned shirt and he worried if his own coloured clothes would run and spoil it, so he pulled it out.

‘Ugh.’ The shirt was a dried mess stuck together. He looked at it, realizing how it had got that way. Robert walked in and Dylan looked up at him, still holding the shirt.

‘What’s this?  You had sex with someone else?’

Robert closed his eyes for a moment, not denying it. When he opened them he saw Dylan flinching.

Robert put a hand forward to Dylan, but he batted it away and made for the door stopped by Robert as he held his wrist and pulled him back into a hug, Dylan’s face bent onto his shoulder, his body stiff and unyielding. He didn’t speak. Robert rocked him slowly.

‘It was one off. It didn’t mean anything.’ He lied, rolling his eyes. This was so, so far from the truth.

Dylan still didn’t speak, just breathed into Robert’s shoulder.

Robert put a hand around his neck and kissed the side of his face. He could feel Dylan trembling with the effort not to cry.

‘Dylan, don’t do this to yourself.’

Robert wondered if he should finish with Dylan now. This would be a good time, the best time.

He pulled back so he could see his Dylan’s face. His eyes brimmed with the tears he was fighting. One spilled running heavily down over his cheeks. His body finally shook with the sob that he’d been fighting to hold in.

‘Sorry.’ He breathed. ‘Sorry. I’m trying so hard not be jealous.’

Robert clenched his jaw.

‘I get it. You need more.’ Dylan continued. ‘I can manage with that.’ He drew breath. ‘I was sleeping around a lot, Robbie, when I met you. But after, I think you’re all I need. It’s never been like this before for me.’

Robert shook his head.

‘Come to bed with me now.’ Robert heard himself say. He knew he was doing the wrong thing, but he didn’t want to see Dylan hurt either.

‘I’m making coffee.’ Dylan answered, wiping his face.

‘Leave the coffee. Come back to bed. I want to show you how you turn me on.’

Robert made love to Dylan until hunger drove them back downstairs. Robert made them bacon sandwiches and fruit salad. After they’d eaten they showered and went back to bed and slept some more.

When they woke, Robert turned Dylan on his stomach and kissed down his spine and then pulled up his hips so he was on all fours.

‘I’m going to give you a rim job like I want you to give me.’ He whispered.

Dylan laughed, his cock already hard again between his legs.

Robert positioned himself behind him and stroked Dylan’s arse with the palms of both hands.

‘Your arse is like rock.’ He laughed, but it was then he saw something, tiny red pinpricks in the upper half of his arse cheek. He looked more closely.

‘What are you doing Robbie?’ Dylan looked back at him over his shoulder.

‘What have you been doing?’ Robert asked back with a frown.

‘What?’

‘Have you been injecting something?’

Dylan blushed.

‘Yes’ He sat up on his knees.

‘WH… what?’ Robert asked.

‘Steroids’

‘Why? Why would you do that?’ Robert asked confused.

‘Just a cycle before the show.’

‘But for what? I don’t get it?’

‘They help you build muscle, makes you strong.

‘But your body is perfect as it is. You’re strong anyway. You’re a dancer for fuck’s sake. Don’t you know there are side effects? Maybe that’s why you had that blackout the other night?’ Robert paused.

‘Did you do it before?’

‘Once.’

‘Dylan, you have to stop!’

‘OK.’

‘Dylan, I’m serious about this. You have to stop! If I see that again, we’re over. In fact, I need a break, I think you need a break. Go home, Dylan. I need some time to think about this.’

‘Please Robbie. I said. I’ll stop.’

‘Just get dressed. I’ll give you money for a taxi.’

‘Robert, please. I’m sorry. Really, I’m sorry. Robert, I know I made a mistake!'

He looked at Robert's face and saw the set expression.

'This is because I was jealous, isn’t it? I won’t be again. I promise. Let me stay! Robert... I love you!’

Robert passed Dylan his clothes from the chair.

‘Get dressed. I’ll call you.’

 

Aaron gave notice at the garage where he’d been working in Paris and went back to working part time again.  Now that the weather had got warmer, he and Ed spent more and more time out. Ed had got used to living in Paris as well as having made a lot of friends, and Aaron worried about dragging him away as they spent time with them in bars, cafes and night clubs.

‘You’re going to miss it here, aren't you.’ He said.

They were sitting in a favorite street café not far from the apartment late one evening.

‘Maybe a little bit.’ Ed smiled ‘But you know the best day of this year was the day when you turned up again on my doorstep.’

Ed took Aaron’s hand. ‘Aaron I know that you said before that you wanted to take things slowly, but now I’ve been home with you again and I know we’re going to be together in Emmerdale, I  want so much to ask you something, if you'll let me.’

Aaron swallowed, feeling suddenly nervous about where Ed was going with this.

Ed took Aaron’s hand.

‘Aaron, will you marry me?’

Aaron felt his head spin. He couldn’t deny that like anyone he’d dreamt about getting married. He’d not been sure that it was something that he would ever do. When he’d finally accepted that he was gay he’d sort of assumed that he would be giving up on some of the expectations that people who were straight have. But as he became more confident about his sexual identity yes, he couldn’t deny it, he’d thought about it, allowed himself to imagine it fleetingly. But he always had a particular person in his mind when he imagined who his husband would be, a particular someone tall and blonde, who you could rely on to always say and do the worst thing possible in any situation, except when it really mattered, when he would suddenly surprise you and be your knight in shining armour. A particular someone who had moved on now and who was in love with someone else and who he needed to stop thinking about and the sooner the better.

Aaron looked at Ed. Ed was perfect marriage material, principled, sincere, trustworthy. Ed would cherish Aaron. He would keep Aaron safe and provide a predictable future. He was the opposite of Robert in every way.

‘Yes.’ He smiled. ‘I’d like that. I will.’

 

 For the two weeks after he sent Dylan away, Robert worked intensively at his car lot, going home late, drinking a glass of whiskey, going to bed and getting up early to go back to work again. He worked weekdays and through the weekend. Victoria invited him to go over and eat with them with Dylan and he didn’t tell her that Dylan wasn’t around and declined the invitation, telling her he had too much work at the moment, which was true, anyway.

He still wasn’t sure yet what he was going to do, but he didn’t call Dylan and Dylan didn’t call him either

Aaron was always on his mind. Aaron wanted to keep his friendship, but for Robert that would never be enough. He slept badly and missed Dylan’s body in his bed.

By the second Friday he felt unsettled and agitated. He stayed late at the car lot and went out to eat alone in a pub nearby that he’d started visiting a few nights a week. He went back to his office and watched TV with Keith for a while, then changed his clothes.

It was just after midnight when he walked down the steps into Bar West. One of the first people he saw was the nurse Darren. He ordered a beer and they had a short chat when Fred the doctor walked up.

‘Hi Robert, remember me? Good to see you again. I think the last time we met, we were just getting to know each other but you got a little side tracked.’ He gestured with his bottle and Robert followed the direction he was pointing in. He saw Dylan, standing on the dance floor with a man, with his tongue down his throat. The man, who looked in his mid-twenties, had a beard and had his shirt off. Robert watched his hand on Dylan’s arse. Dylan and Robert looked at each other for a few seconds.

He turned way.

‘No distractions tonight.’ He said looking at Fred’s mouth as he spoke.

Fred took Robert back to his apartment. In the bedroom, they both pulled their clothes off quickly and Fred pushed Robert down onto the bed. Fred lay over him and they pressed their open mouths against each other, both too turned on to speak at all. Fred ran his teeth over Robert’s jaw and throat and sucked against him marking him. Robert pulled up so he was half reclining against the bed head, his thighs spread for Fred to thrust a finger doused in lube up into him, making Robert arch his neck gasping. Fred continued with two fingers and three fingers quickly pumping into him while Robert moaned loudly giving in to the rough pleasure.

With his other hand Fred took his cock and stroked him, then he placed the condom packet in Robert’s mouth so that Robert gripped it with his teeth and Fred used him to tear open the wrapper. He rolled it on and then pushed inside, Robert’s eyes rolled upwards at the pain as he was filled.

Fred pulled back again all the way to the edge of his cock head and waited for a moment, then plunged back in fast and deep and set up a hard rhythm so that Robert felt himself tearing apart, breathing through the pain and crying out at the strokes building up unbearably so that he knew he would come all too quickly.

After it was over. Robert slid off the bed.

‘Thank you, doctor. That was just what I needed.’ He grinned, pulling on his clothes quickly.

‘Going so soon?’ Fred asked.

‘Yeah. Sorry.’

‘Can I buy you a drink tomorrow?’

‘Sorry, it was a one off.’ Robert said. ‘I’ll see you around.’

 

The next evening was Saturday, leaving the car lot around seven, Robert called Dylan at last.

‘I’m cooking lasagne. Are you coming home or not?’ he asked.

‘I can be there.’ Dylan said.

‘Do you need a ride? I can pick you up in the city centre in around ten to fifteen minutes if the traffic’s not too bad.’

‘OK.’

Dylan got in the car, waving goodbye to a group of same age lads and girls from his college. He glanced at Robert, noting the marks on Robert’s throat but said nothing. Neither of them talked about the two weeks apart.

‘We went to the cinema.’ Dylan said.

‘Nice.’ Robert said.

 

‘How are your classes?’

‘Good. Hard, some of them. We have a new Latin dance teacher, you’d like him. He does a hot salsa.’ He grinned. ‘How’s the business?’

‘Good too.’

While the lasagne was in the oven, they made love, standing up by the end of Robert’s bed. After, they showered, washing each other, Dylan talking too much, smiling, rinsing shampoo from Robert’s hair, licking water off his skin, tracing freckles with soap.

While they ate, Robert told Dylan he was going to take him away for a couple of days to the Lake District if he could organize cover for some of his shifts at the restaurant. There was a second hand Bugatti for sale in Keswick and he wanted to go and meet the owner. Dylan didn’t know what a Bugatti was and Robert rolled his eyes.

‘Well I assume it’s a car but, come on. I don’t even know how to drive.’ Dylan laughed.

‘OK. I’ll teach you. We’ll start tomorrow.’

They cleared up the kitchen and then watched a movie, Dylan fell into a deep sleep with his head on Robert’s lap, so that when the movie ended Robert could hardly wake him, and he walked behind him on the stairs with a hand on his shoulder, gently steering him to bed.

They went for Sunday lunch in the pub. It was a while since they had been there, since Dylan’s parents had visited. Andy joined them and Robert went to order a drink. Chas was looking very cheerful and smirked at Robert as she served him. He raised his eyebrows at her scathingly wondering what was making her so happy at his expense again.

He took the drinks from her, shaking his head.

‘You know Chas, one day, you and I will just decide to get on.’

‘You may be right there Robert.’ Chas pushed up her chin and looked at him with her eyes bright. ‘I’m certainly ready to bury any bad feelings.’

Robert frowned, but ignored her and went to sit down.

It was about 15 minutes later that Adam and Vic walked in. Adam seeing Chas called across to her.

‘Well Chas. You must be made up then! Mother of the groom and that!’

Robert looked up. Suddenly he couldn’t breathe.

‘Yeah. I was trying to tell Robert but I don’t think he was in the mood to listen.’ Chas said.

Adam turned to where Robert, Dylan and Andy were sitting.

Andy spoke. ‘So what’s this, then? Is this news about Aaron?’

‘Yeah, mate. He’s getting married. Apparently Ed asked and Aaron said yes!’


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert takes a surprise trip and gets help from Aaron with inevitable consequences.

Robert stepped off the plane at Charles de Gaulle airport and switched on his phone. He sent a text message to Aaron.

_I’m in Paris._

And waited. He was walking through passport control when the answer came back.

_Why?_

Robert smiled at Aaron’s economy with words. He showed his passport and pressed call as he walked towards the luggage conveyor, waiting for Aaron to answer. His breath quickened in anticipation of hearing his voice.

It was when he took Dylan up to the Lakes that he’d decided. He’d met the owner of the Bugatti. The car was a distressed beauty if ever he’d seen one, needing so much work on it that even Robert had wondered about the madness of finalizing the purchase details at a quarter of a million pounds. But then the realization struck him that he was buying a French vintage car that was guaranteed to make him a profit, so why didn’t he go to France and meet some dealers, and see what he could find there for his niche market? As soon as he’d thought it, he knew it made sense.

He had found the best excuse in the world for going to France and, once there, he was determined to finally take some control back.

Dylan had of course been disappointed when he hadn’t been invited to go to Paris with him.

‘I’m buying cars. It’ll be totally boring.’ Robert had said.

‘I could sign up for some dance classes. Keep myself busy while you work.’ Dylan had suggested.

‘Not this time, eh?’ Robert answered turning him round on the bed and kissing the back of his neck, while his fingers travelled between his thighs, and Dylan knew that the subject was at an end.

 

‘So why are you here?’

Robert smiled at the sound of Aaron’s voice.

‘Well, hello and how’ve you been to you too.’ He laughed in reply.

‘Yeah, all that, but why are you here, Robert?’

Robert laughed again. ‘Don’t panic, Aaron. I’m here to buy some cars, well at least meet up with some dealers.’ He paused. ‘I had actually hoped you might help me. With the motors and with the French.’

‘Yeah?’

‘Yeah. What do you reckon?’

‘I’m not sure.’

‘As mates of course. That was what you texted me, when you left. Remember?’

Robert could hear Aaron thinking in the silence.

‘I heard about your engagement by the way. Congratulations.’ He dropped his voice and tried to sound sincere.

Aaron spoke again.

‘So where are you staying?’

‘In a hotel near the Gare du Nord.’

‘Yeah. OK. That’s not so far from us.’

Robert flinched at ‘us’.

‘So can we meet there in, say, a couple of hours? Like 12.00 ish? You can buy me lunch and I’ll tell you all about the dealers and motors I’ve got lined up to see. Yeah?’

There was another silence.

Robert corrected himself.  ‘I’ll buy you lunch, then.’

‘You’re lucky that I’ve gone part time, mate, so I’ll be done at work. Text me the hotel details and I’ll be there around 12.30.’

Robert paused again before adding one last request.

‘Aaron,' he said 'wear a jacket.’

He waited, listening to the silence. There was a subtext and they both knew it.

 ‘Why?’ Aaron asked, his voice even more edgy.

‘Because I want you to help me buy some cars after lunch.’

‘There was another pause.’

‘Fine’

Aaron ended the call. Robert ran a hand over his face trying not to feel like he’d scored. This was only a start, but he would do his best. This time he was planning to change the game.

Two hours later, Robert walked down into the lobby of his hotel to find Aaron waiting, standing near the revolving doors. He was biting his lip and looking outside past the shadows and into the sun. For a moment, Robert had the chance to observe him unnoticed. He tried to suppress his smile when he saw Aaron dressed in a jacket as asked, which he was wearing over a black T-shirt and jeans. Aaron’s face was tanned from being out and about under the French summer sun, making the blue of his eyes shine even more than usual. Robert drew in his breath at the sight, then suddenly Aaron turned towards him and those blue eyes were meeting his gaze.

They each raised their eyebrows in greeting.

‘Right?’  Robert asked drawing up his shoulders.

‘Alright.’ Aaron answered with a nod.

Robert was suddenly aware that the last time they spoke they’d just made love in the back of a vintage car.

Then he looked down and noticed the silver ring on Aaron’s right hand and his mouth went dry.

‘Ed’s OK is he?’ he asked, trying to keep his voice light.

Aaron nodded.

‘Dylan?’ he asked back ‘I saw his photo in the Evening post, and yours.’ He added.

‘Yeah. I should have sued them for that.’

‘Well, it’s a good job it happened when it did eh? A couple of months earlier and you weren’t even out.’

Robert nodded. ‘Well if I wasn’t out before I certainly was after that.’

‘Anyway.’ He went on changing the subject. ‘Where are you taking me for lunch?’

Aaron took him to a restaurant a walk away, where they found at table outside. Aaron spoke quietly in French to the waiter asking about the dish of the day. Hearing him made Robert smile, exposed to this new side to Aaron he almost felt like he was falling in love all over again. Aaron saw Robert looking at him.

‘Don’t.’ he said. ‘I know my French is terrible.’

Robert spread his hands. ‘Well it’s better than my school French and that’s for sure.’

‘What do you want to drink?’ He asked Robert. ‘They have quite good beer on taps at this place.’

‘Sounds good to me.’

 

'So tell me about what motors you’re after then? I might be able to find out a bit more for you at the garage where I’ve been working too, you know.’

After they ate Robert persuaded Aaron to go with him to a car dealer’s a few miles out of Paris, near Versailles.

Robert had hired a car, but asked Aaron to drive, since he was the one who knew the roads and was used to the French drivers. Aaron took his jacket off and put it on the back seat, and Robert tried not to be too obvious, his eyes flickering over his arms as he steered the car, his body as he sat.

At the dealers, they looked at some of the vintage cars. There was a Citroen B2 convertible and a Peugeot 402 cabriolet. Aaron liked the cars but they agreed that both cars needed a lot of work. The dealer spoke some English but when he broke into French Aaron was there to translate and negotiate. Robert was impressed.

‘Well if I can’t talk about cars in French, it’s a bloody shame considering it’s my job.’ Aaron laughed.

They got their hands oily looking at the engines and after went to wash up. There was a small washbasin and Aaron went first and then dried his hands, then Robert asked him if he’d help him roll up his shirt sleeves.

Aaron undid the cuffs as Robert watched, his fingers touching his inner wrists. Robert raised his eyes to Aaron’s face as he rolled up his sleeves. Aaron raised his face and for a moment their eyes met.

Robert swallowed.

‘I don’t know why you’re even wearing that shirt in this weather.’ Aaron said gruffly and walked back towards the dealer, who was offering them water to drink, while Robert washed his hands smiling to himself.

When they were walking towards the car to go back to Paris, Aaron’s phone rang. Aaron walked away from Robert to take the call, but Robert could still hear him if he strained his ears.

‘Yeah. Everything’s fine. I wasn’t home because someone asked for some help with buying a car. Yeah. Someone Adam knows from England. So I just wanted to help, you know. No, I’ll be back for dinner of course. Whatever you want. Yeah, you too.’

He ended the call.

Robert smiled to himself again.

They drove back to Paris, discussing the relative merits of the cars they’d seen.

‘So how come you’ve got all this money to spend?’ Aaron asked Robert.

‘Well, I got a nice sum from the divorce settlement with Chrissie and then money makes money Aaron, I already sold quite a few cars, so, if I reinvest that profit into more lucrative sales, then I can earn more.’  He hesitated.  ‘I think you should work with me.’

Aaron looked startled. ‘Why? Money’s never bothered me, like it does you.‘

Robert felt the sting of the remark.

‘That wasn’t why. I meant because you’re interested in cars, and you’re a good mechanic who can do up an engine pretty well.’

Aaron acknowledged the answer, but still shook his head. ‘No, it wouldn’t be fair to Adam, he’s expecting my help when I get back.’

‘Adam is fine. He’s hired a lad to help out with the manual stuff, and he needs to learn to stand on his own two feet on the business side for a bit longer if you ask me, he’s getting better at it gradually.’

‘Well. I suppose we could talk more when I get back to England.’ Aaron said quietly. Robert looked out at the encroaching city as they got nearer their destination.

They parked the car in an underground park, a street away from Robert’s hotel, taking the car down in a car lift and getting out in the airless space crammed with cars. ‘Good job we’re not claustrophobic.’ Robert said, slightly bending his back to adjust to the low ceiling, and walking round the car, following Aaron to the elevator. They got in and stood close in the aluminium space, Aaron pressed the button. After the warm day and close up he could smell Robert’s familiar smell which made him uncomfortable.

‘I left my jacket in the car.’ He said suddenly.

‘You can get it tomorrow. You will help me again tomorrow?’ Robert asked.

‘Where are you going tomorrow?’

‘A couple of places. I can’t remember. Some French addresses obviously. The list is in my room. I could text you them’

He watched Aaron consider this.

The elevator door opened and they walked out onto the Paris road

‘I’ll walk with you back to your hotel.’ Aaron said.

Robert laughed. ‘I can find it, you know.’

‘It’s alright. It’s on my way, anyway. We live around a twenty minute walk away.’

When they arrived at the hotel, they hesitated.

Aaron swayed and looked at the time on his phone.

‘Let me just see the other dealers on the list.’ He said.

 

Robert’s room was a garret room with an angled ceiling and views across the other rooftops. There was a double bed and en suite bathroom. Aaron stood, suddenly nervous, while Robert opened his bag and got out the list. He handed it to Aaron who started going over the addresses.

Robert opened the minibar.

‘Beer?‘  He said, handing one to Aaron, and then took one himself and took a swig.

The room was warm. Robert unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt. Aaron looked up from the list, frowning. Not satisfied, Robert decided to change into a T-shirt and took one out of his bag, undoing his shirt and taking it off, Aaron watched his back and his shoulder blades move as he pulled the plain white T-shirt on.

Robert came back beside him and looked at the list with him. He pointed at a name.

‘So this dealer’ he started to explain, gesturing with his beer bottle, ‘has a Panhard. Have you ever seen one of those? Apparently the Panhard racing cars always won the Le Mans races in the 1930’s.’

Aaron raised his eyebrows. ‘So how far away is he?’  Robert went on. Aaron turned to answer and realized Robert was nearer than he thought.

‘Yeah. He’s close. He’s very close.’ He said. His voice catching.

‘Aaron, why didn’t you tell Ed I was here when you spoke to him?’ Robert asked suddenly, looking into his eyes.

Aaron swallowed. ‘I don’t know.’ He said. ‘Maybe.’ He paused. ‘Because of this.’

And he kissed him.

Robert moved into the kiss humming.

He edged Aaron towards the desk and, momentarily breaking the kiss to put down his and Aaron’s beer bottles.

Then he deepened the kiss, placing both his hands on Aaron’s face, pulling him closer.

They moved to the bed and sat down, still kissing. Robert let his hands slide down over Aaron’s neck and shoulders and back again. He pulled off Aaron’s T-shirt and Aaron pulled off his and they kicked off their shoes and lay back on the bed, tongues circling exploring each other's bodies with their hands.

Robert was as hungry as he’d been in the Ford Zodiac the time in Leeds, but this time he wanted to savour every moment. This time he had a bed. And this time he’d been imagining this and what he would do to Aaron.

Kneeling up, he slowly undid Aaron’s jeans, watching his open mouth. He could see how much Aaron wanted this as he pulled off his trousers and boxers. Robert undressed and Aaron looked at his towering cock as he knelt over him.

‘Is that for me?’ He narrowed his eyes.

‘It is.’ Robert laughed.

He pushed forward between Aaron’s thighs and, leaning over, let his cock stroke against Aaron’s belly as he kissed him again. He got up to get some lube and condoms from his bag, placing them nearby before kneeling back between Aaron’s thighs.

Aaron looked at him from under lowered eye lids, his pupils dark.

‘Come on, then.’ He half whispered.

Robert squeezed some lube on his fingertips. He moved his hand up between Aaron’s thighs and found his entrance. He started to gently stroke the circle of skin around his hole. As he stroked, he kissed Aaron’s mouth, using his tongue to caress against Aaron’s tongue. He could feel Aaron’s body twist with pleasure.

‘I love touching you like this again. It’s been too long.’ Robert whispered. ‘I love your body. You’re so hot, Aaron’

He continued to stroke at the ring of skin, slowing his fingers, tracing round and round, letting the lube help his fingers glide over Aaron’s rim. He leaned back and watched Aaron’s face as Aaron bit his lips, his eyes closed. He listened to his breathing 

He moved a finger to the center of the ring and pushed gently for the first time, so that his finger slipped into the tight ring of muscle. Aaron responded with a moan, opening his eyes.

‘Hi.’ Robert whispered. They smiled.

Robert pulled his finger back and forth so that the muscle squeezed over his finger as he went deeper.

While he moved his finger he let his eyes travel to Aaron’s cock, shining now with his painfully hard erection. Robert still pushing with his finger, lowered his mouth. He took Aaron’s cock head between his lips and sucked, licking around him with his tongue, lapping at the glistening pre cum, then letting his mouth slide right down taking all of him into his throat, listening to Aaron’s cries in response.

He returned to kissing Aaron’s mouth, so that Aaron could taste himself on Robert’s lips.

Aaron opened his eyes again and looked at him searchingly.

Robert smiled at him. 'What?' He asked. Aaron watched how his eyes wrinkled at the corners. He’d missed his eyes.

‘Get on with it’ He said gruffly.

Robert nodded, his grin spreading.

‘OK’. He whispered. ‘Do you want something bigger now?’

‘Are you showing off, mate?’ Aaron laughed

Robert noticed they were both trembling. Robert’s teeth were chattering and he felt almost sick in his stomach with desire. He shifted between Aaron’s thighs and knelt up.

Robert opened a condom and Aaron rolled it on over his length. Robert pulled Aaron's thighs up around his waist and Aaron crossed his ankles around him

‘Now, Robert.’ he said.

Robert pushed his cock hard against Aaron’s hole, feeling the resistance and then all at once he was sliding inside, the hot tight muscles around him.

‘Fuck!’ Robert gasped, pushing further. 

Aaron was moaning, he held onto Robert tightly, adjusting to the sensation.

And then Robert was thrusting with fast deep strokes.

‘Aaron,’ He moaned, ‘Aaron.’

‘Fuck Robert.’

 Robert watched Aaron with awe as he continued to thrust. When he felt himself getting close he reached for Aaron's hand and threaded his fingers through his. 

With his other hand he reached down and stroked Aaron in time with his thrusts. Aaron came and Robert watched him spilling in white stripes across Aaron's stomach, then followed quickly riding wave after wave of his climax as it spread through his body making his legs shake suddenly, from the surge of adrenaline.

He lay laughing half across Aaron's body, waiting to come down, feeling Aaron's hand resting around his shoulder, caressing him. This was where he belonged, like this in Aaron's arms. It was all he wanted.

Aaron slowly sat up.

'I need to use your bathroom and then I have to go.' He said quietly.

'You're OK, aren't you?' Robert asked.

'Not sure.' Aaron answered. 'This shouldn't have happened, but it did.'

Robert sat up. 

'Promise you'll see me tomorrow. Even if you decide this was a mistake. At least we can talk about it.'

'Oh This was a mistake. I don't need time to know that.' Aaron answered. 'But I promise I will see you tomorrow.' 

 

After Aaron had gone, Robert walked out of the hotel and found somewhere to sit and eat, getting by with English on the strength of his charm with the French waitress who served him. He drank a couple of glasses of rosé wine with his meal.

After he got back to the hotel, Dylan called him.

‘Hey. How’s it going? Did you buy any cars?’

‘Not yet. But I’ve seen some with good potential. How about you? What have you been up to?

‘Well, I had my driving lesson.’ Robert had paid for proper lessons for Dylan as well as picking up a second hand Ford Escort and taking him out himself when they both had the time and energy. ‘And now I’m having my tea and thinking about going to bed. What are you doing now?’

‘Lying on my bed in the hotel, watching French porn, with English subtitles and thinking of you.’

‘Gay porn?’

‘No, but there are a number of men and a number of women, so I’m kind of spoilt for choice.’

‘Seriously?’ Dylan asked.

‘No. I’m actually watching an old Star Wars film.’

Dylan laughed.

‘I actually don’t know which to believe.’

‘Go to bed, Dylan.’

‘OK Robbie. Sleep tight.’

When the call was over, Robert turned off the hotel TV and lay down, he could still smell Aaron on his bed. He smiled and fell into a deep sleep.

 


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron spend a day together in Paris.

In the morning, Robert was woken by a knock on the Paris hotel bedroom door. He looked at the time on his phone, confused; it was still only seven thirty, then he heard Aaron’s voice outside and another knock.

‘Robert? Are you going to let me in or what?’ Aaron’s voice called.

He opened the door.  Aaron stood there, dressed in a T-shirt, jeans and running shoes, carrying a bottle of water and a hoodie that he may have been wearing in the cool morning air. He had some beads of sweat on his hairline and throat where his beard met his fine skin. Robert wondered if he’d jogged from his apartment.

He let Aaron in, heart thumping as he wondered why he was here so early. Had he come to tell Robert that yesterday was a mistake after all?

Once Aaron had entered the room, Robert stood near the bed in his pyjamas and looked into his blue eyes, while he ran a hand through his tousled hair.

It was Aaron who spoke.

‘Just so you know, I’m not here for a chat.’ He said.

Robert’s heart raced.

‘Fine.’

To prove the point, Aaron moved towards Robert and kissed him.

Robert let Aaron kiss him, keeping his hands by his sides. Aaron’s kiss was hungry, forceful and he pulled Robert closer to him, winding Robert’s T-shirt in his fist to keep him close.

Then he leaned back a moment.

‘I have to go to work this morning. That’s why I’m here so early.’

Robert nodded and swallowed as he felt Aaron’s hands move to his waist under his pyjama top, touching his skin lightly with his thumbs and fingertips.

He felt himself start to tremble again. No one but Aaron had this effect on him, making his blood rush through his body every time he was close. It had always been like this, ever since Robert could remember, since they first met, first kissed.

Aaron kissed him again. Robert could feel his beard against his lips and chin. His cock grew heavy in his pyjamas and he shifted on his feet.

He wondered if Aaron had lain awake all night in the dark next to Ed, thinking of him, imagining this.

Aaron’s finger tips were calloused and coarse from his work as a mechanic handling tools and engine parts. Robert loved to feel them on his skin. Now Aaron slid his hands back over Robert’s body, under the waistband of his pyjama trousers and down over his arse cheeks.

He steered Robert round and stripped him of his t-shirt then pulled his pyjama trousers down. He stepped closer again and Robert felt his light kisses on his back.

‘This OK?’ Aaron asked over his shoulder.

‘Yes, yes.’ Robert answered.

He leaned slightly, reaching with one hand to hold on to the bedhead, allowing Aaron to push his thumb against him. Aaron knelt down behind him, spreading his cheeks. His tongue flickered against his rim. As Aaron used the edge of his tongue to slide over the circle of skin, Robert groaned aloud.

Aaron made his tongue stiff and pushed into the hole, moving inside, so that Robert called out.

‘Aaron, please.’

‘What?’ Aaron waited.

‘Fuck me. I can’t wait.’

He heard Aaron behind him undo the zip of his jeans and saw the ripped condom packet fall on the carpet where Aaron dropped it. He felt the chill of lube as Aaron rubbed it against his hole.

Aaron lined up and pushed in with the head of his cock, watching the tension in Robert’s back and shoulders as he rode the initial pain. As he went deeper, he stroked a hand against Robert’s back. They knew each other’s bodies, how to move, how to touch, what worked. When Aaron saw the tension leave Robert’s shoulders he knew the moment to start. He thrust his cock, deep and hard.

Robert moaned loudly as Aaron moved fast inside him. Somebody banged on the bedroom wall and Aaron slowed laughing and ran a hand down Robert's arm.

‘Hey, quiet down, will you?’

Robert panted. ‘I thought this was Paris?’

‘Yeah, but its’ not eight in the morning yet.’ Aaron murmured in reply.

Aaron kissed over his spine between his shoulders, wet with sweat.

‘Aaron… .’

Aaron resumed his thrusts and Robert moaned again. When he came, he came hard, hearing more banging on the wall, his cum spraying onto the bed in front of him. Aaron gasped and called his name. ‘Robert, Robert.’ as his orgasm hit. He leaned onto Robert for a moment then pulled out. Robert took his hand and guided him onto the bed to lie next to him.  He kissed his mouth over and over, eyes closed, breathing in the taste and smell of him.

His heart was still hurtling all over the place. He wanted to tell Aaron he loved him, but he was afraid of scaring him away.

Aaron squeezed his shoulder.

He moved off the bed and pulled on his jeans.

‘I’ll be here after work. At 12.30, like yesterday. OK?’

Robert put his arms behind his head and watched him, the morning light through the shutters lighting his face and eyes so that they glowed softly.

‘What’s the plan?’ Aaron continued.

‘Well, first I want to see the Panhard. You said the dealer was close by. And then I have a few ideas. We can decide.’

‘Right.’ He nodded.  ‘See ya.’

And he was gone.

 

Ed looked up at the sound of the key in the door. It was eight thirty.  He called out to Aaron from the kitchen where he was finishing a bowl of muesli with fruit.

‘Did you go running? You’re going to be late for work!’

‘I, um, I lost track of time. I’m going to take a quick shower, then I’ll be off.’

‘Aaron?’ Ed put his head around the bedroom door, where Aaron hesitated as he was about to pull off his T-shirt. ‘You OK? You were quiet yesterday evening. You’d tell me, wouldn’t you, if something were bothering you?’ He stepped into the room, but Aaron grabbed a towel quickly and moved away from him towards the bathroom door.

‘I’m fine, I’m fine.’ He muttered. ‘I’m just in a rush, like you said, I’ll be late.’ He closed the door behind him and exhaled, then climbed into the shower. He wasn’t thinking at the moment, just feeling. He knew at some point this was going to hit him and when it did it would hit him hard.

 

When they met after Aaron's work, Robert bought Aaron falafel, laughing at Aaron’s face as he ate.

‘So?’

‘Yeah. It’s alright I suppose.’ Aaron said, tilting his head to one side.

‘You are so conservative about food. I can’t believe you’ve lived here so long and never tried this.’

‘Well I know what I like.’ Aaron answered, then raised his eyes to Robert’s with small smile.

‘You sure about that?’ Robert answered smiling back.

After they went to see the Panhard dealer. Robert fell in love with the car. Aaron could see his eyes shining like a little kid as he ran his hand over the bonnet. They still negotiated hard and finally Robert shook hands sealing the deal. They had to sit around for a while completing paper work, drinking espresso. It was around three in the afternoon when they were done.

‘So’ Aaron asked.  ‘What now?’

‘I don’t know. You’re the local. Show me something.’

‘You’ve been here before?’ Aaron said and saw Robert look down.

Aaron raised his eyebrows in realization.

‘Of course, with Chrissie.’ He nodded.

‘Well you’re still here with Ed.’ Robert fired back. ‘So we’re not even quits.’

‘Come on then, ‘  Aaron took him on a bus. When they got off, he walked with him until, on turning a corner, they were at the Eiffel Tower.

There were crowds of tourists milling and queuing and taking photographs, and the inevitable street performers too, blowing giant soap bubbles with buckets and long strings forming shimmering oil streaked globes that stretched in the breeze and vanished.

‘Do you want to go up?’ Aaron asked.

‘It’ll take too long.’ Robert answered. ‘I have somewhere else I need to go to a bit later.’

Aaron raised his eyes.

Robert took out his phone.

‘Let’s take a picture with the Eiffel Tower behind us.’

Aaron looked surprised.

‘Come on.’ Robert grinned.

Robert reached for him, putting his arm around his shoulder. Aaron stomach started to flutter, Robert had never held on to to him in a public place before. Shyly he reached an arm around the back of Robert’s waist, curling his fingers into his shirt. Robert moved his face close and Aaron’s heart thumped noisily.

Robert took the pictures, turned and smiled. He kept his arm on Aaron’s shoulder and put his phone into his jeans’ pocket with his other hand. He turned slowly, putting his now free arm around Aaron’s back and leaned forward.

Aaron’s heart raced even faster.

‘What… What are you doing?’ he muttered looking up at Robert’s eyes, the sun making him squint.

‘I’m going to kiss you.’

‘Here?’

‘Here, anywhere, everywhere. I told you. I’m out now, Aaron.’

Aaron nodded and Robert leaned closer again. Their lips met lightly and then they were kissing; a real kiss, Robert opening his mouth and moving his tongue deep against Aaron’s, pushing Aaron’s body with the force of the kiss, and holding him in his arms with his fingers gripping him tightly. Aaron's fingers rested lightly against his shoulders. He let himself drown in the moment.

Passers-by smiled and admired them, putting a hand over their mouths, nudging a friend to point out the two beautiful men, lost in each other in a passionate kiss in front of the Eiffel Tower.

When they came up for air they both smiled, then agreed that they wanted food again. They grabbed a very expensive pastry each, then Robert spoke.

‘So I’m going to Lille.’

‘ What? When? That’s a city further north, near Calais.’

‘I’m going this evening and I’m going to stay the night. There’s a dealer with a Bugatti. And you know that’s what I really want. I’m going to see him in the morning, then come back and Saturday evening is my flight back to Leeds.’

Robert saw the disappointment in Aaron’s eyes.

‘So, this is it then. I won’t see you.’ Aaron said.

‘Aaron, I want to spend the night with you. Come with me.’ Robert's voice was soft and quiet.

‘WH… what do I tell Ed?’

‘Tell him the truth.’

‘What? The truth about you and me? I’m not ready to do that. I don’t know even what this is really.’

‘No, not about that. That you’re going to help the friend of Adam’s, which was how you described me yesterday, to buy cars in Lille, and that you’ll be away for the night.’

Aaron nodded, biting his lip. He blew out from his cheeks.

Robert waited, looking at his face.

‘I …I can’t say no to you.’

Robert smiled and spoke softly again. ‘So go back and pack a bag. I’ll meet you in say, an hour? In the hotel lobby, yeah?’

‘Ok. One hour.’

 

Robert let Aaron drive them, finding the ring road out of Paris and onto the highway drenched with summer evening sun and lined with soft sloping wheat and corn fields and the occasional field on fire with wild red poppies. The evening sun still felt warm. Once they were well out of the city, Robert asked Aaron to stop at a fuel station to buy fuel and so they could take the roof down on the Renault sports Spider that Robert had hired, even if it would get too cold in an hour or two.

He passed Aaron his credit card to pay for fuel. Robert took off his sunglasses and called Dylan.

‘Robbie, I miss you. When are you coming home?’

‘Tomorrow evening, so one more day.’

‘It’s Friday. There was no school because of a training day or something. I'm so bored, I’m thinking about going to Bar West tonight.’

‘Why? Go to see your Mum and Dad instead, eh?’

Aaron came back, and climbed into the driving seat. Someone working at the station said something to him in French and he answered.

‘Who are you with?’ Dylan asked.

Robert paused just slightly longer than normal.

‘Is that Aaron?’ Dylan suddenly asked.

‘Yeah. He’s helping me buy cars.’ Robert replied rapidly.

He waited, listening to the silence on the other end of the phone.

‘Dylan?’

Yeah?’

‘Go see your Mum and Dad, yeah? I’ll speak to you later this evening.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments welcome :)


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron stay the night in a hotel. Dylan has company.

They were barely able to wait until they were inside the room when they arrived at the hotel.

Robert had booked them into a five star classical French hotel with beams on the ceilings, a freestanding white porcelain bath in the bathroom and a balcony with a view over the Grand Place in the old town. Aaron didn’t care, except that he hated Robert for caring about luxury after all this time, that it still counted to him, when he should have learned that other things mattered more.

But for the moment all he wanted was Robert.

As soon as the bellman had left, they crashed together, mouth on mouth, pulling off clothes, rolling onto the bed, for once competing for dominance, so that Robert had surprised him by snarling a ‘No!’ between kisses when Aaron had tried to turn him over and press fingers against him.

Instead, after more struggling, shoving and turning between them, Robert had managed to push him down on his back, pressing against him with the flat of his hands on his chest and using the weight of his shoulders to pin Aaron down before moving over his body. It was when Robert all at once straddled him that Aaron had suddenly understood what he wanted, that he was going to go down on him, and he let himself smile, his chest rising and falling.

He relaxed, reaching his hands up to Robert’s hips, circling the skin there with the tips of his fingers before moving a hand to Robert’s rock hard cock, listening to his breath coming in heavy pants. Then Robert was shifting backwards down Aaron’s thighs. He ripped open a condom and slowly rolled it onto Aaron’s thick hard cock, stroking him. He squeezed lube onto his fingers and used his thumb and fingers to coat the condom, watching Aaron’s mouth open with pleasure. Then he used more lube to reach behind and prepare himself before shifting forward again and lining himself up to go down slowly on Aaron, still breathing heavily from the tussle and the arousal.

He moaned as Aaron filled him, going all the way down. Aaron pressed his fingers into Robert’s thighs, watching him, waiting, begging him with his eyes to start to move.

Aaron pulsed inside him.

Then Robert started to move, slowly a couple of times and then quicker.

Aaron spread his arms on the bed and pulled at the sheet as Robert moved with firm heavy fast strokes, taking him deeper, slipping down over Aaron’s cock.

Robert watched Aaron’s face, as he bit his lip and groaned and suddenly he was coming, taking hold and stroking his cock as he spilled cum over Aaron’s chest. Holding Robert’s thighs again, Aaron felt himself coming deep inside Robert. He called out Robert’s name.

After, Robert pulled off and lay down next to him, laughing.

‘Alright?’ he asked.

Aaron took his hand and leaned across into a kiss, looking directly at him.

‘Alright.’ He confirmed with a smile from his eyes.

Then Aaron had said he had to phone Ed.

‘Or he’ll wonder, you know.’

Aaron saw a small grimace on Robert’s face. But all he’d said was. ‘Well wait a minute to get your breath back.’

Aaron had stepped out onto the balcony, naked, with his phone, and Robert had watched him from the bed as he spoke, wondering how even in this space that he’d created for himself and Aaron, Ed had managed to find a way in. For a moment he thought about Dylan. He didn’t need to call him. Their relationship wasn’t like that. Dylan would be fine until tomorrow.

When Aaron came back and looked down at him. Robert asked for a beer and told him to come back to bed.

After, they both had a couple of swigs, they put the bottles down and Robert turned back to Aaron. Placing his hands on his face he returned to kissing him deep and long, until turning him onto his back again, this time, he moved up between his thighs.

 

Finn had gone to the shop after his shift at the B&B had finished to buy some beer.

He contemplated his sad lot, that it was a Friday night, that he’d just recently celebrated his 24th birthday and that the most he had to look forward to that evening was a trip to the Woolpack with his Mum and Dad, followed by a not very late night as he caught up on his sleep before going in to help Eric again on Saturday.

He sort of missed his friendship with Victoria now that she was marred to Adam and there had been a gradual but inevitable distance built between them. Even Tracy had a date tonight, which was more than he’d had in like forever.

Finn sighed thinking about it.

 He’s had a string of half-hearted relationships that had all come to nothing. The person he’d probably lusted after the most in the last two years had been Aaron, but Aaron hadn’t reciprocated the attraction after their one night stand, and the reality was that they had nothing in common. His most recent relationship had been with the nurse Darren, and that had ended in disaster too, so for now he was resigned to replacing the beer that his brother Ross had drunk from the fridge and spending another evening as a single millennium child.

It was while he was lifting a six pack of beers from the shop fridge that he saw Dylan, Robert’s boyfriend, picking up a bottle of tequila from the shelf. Finn returned to reflecting on the cruelty of his existence, that even Robert Sugden, who’d only officially come out a couple of months ago, had managed to set himself up with a cute live in boyfriend, and that following what had been, according to Kerry, a very passionate affair with Aaron while he was still married to Chrissie White.

Finn hadn’t really had anything much to do with Dylan, but they had sat at the same table with Vic, Adam and Robert at the Woolpack for drinks a couple of times, so it would seem rude not to say hello.

‘You right, mate?’ he asked in greeting.

Dylan shrugged, and when he looked at him, Finn saw that his usually striking blue eyes were red, as if he’d been crying. Or maybe he’d just been looking at a computer screen for too long. Finn knew nothing about Dylan other than that he was a dancer. Did dancers spend a lot of time on computers? He had no idea.

‘How’s Robert?’ He continued.

He saw Dylan flinch at the question. So seems like he had been crying after all. Not that it was any of his business.

‘Oh, I think he’s fine.’ Dylan said and Finn raising his eyebrows, turned to pay for his beer, while Dylan waited behind him.

He’d started walking back home down Main Street, when he realized that Dylan was just a few steps behind. It would be odd to ignore him, so he waited until Dylan was beside him and started walking again.

‘How’s the dancing going?’ He asked, not sure what else he could ask about.

Dylan looked distracted. ‘Yeah, well, just a couple of weeks and college is over, and then I’ve got to decide where to go next year.’

‘Where could you go?’

‘I’ve got offers from London, Manchester, Leeds - I was thinking of staying in Leeds, not going too far, but now…’ Dylan shook his head, his eyes welling up with what were now obviously tears.

Finn felt a bit embarrassed.

‘I remember going away to university. It can feel a bit overwhelming at first. But you get used to it.’ They were close to Dale cottage.

‘This is me.’ Finn said.

Dylan touched his arm.

‘Come to ours? You’ve got the beer, I’ve got tequila. We could have our own party?’ He said with a flash of a pretty smile.

He hesitated. Was Dylan flirting with him?

 ‘I wouldn’t want to disturb you and Robert.’

‘You won’t, Robert’s away. He’s…‘  Dylan looked down at the pavement. ‘He’s in Paris. I think he’s with someone else.’ As he raised his face Finn saw one of those tears that had been gathering spill down his cheek. He shifted uncomfortably. What could he do? He could hardly say no, that would just be cruel.

‘Alright. I’ve got nothing else on.’ He said and set off again with Dylan towards his cottage.

 

‘Aaron, Can I ask you a question?’ Robert spoke gently, lying on his back on the white linen sheets, one arm crooked up behind his head.

He looked at Aaron who lay on his side, facing into Robert’s body. One hand rested lightly on Robert’s stomach, just below his belly button. His fingertips absently stroked over the pleasure trail of almost invisible soft hair leading down to Robert’s cock that for now lay spent against his thigh. Both their bodies were still damp with sweat from their love making. Tissues were scattered on the floor behind Aaron, next to the tied used condoms.

‘When I asked you to come with me, you said that you weren’t ready to tell Ed the truth about us. So I just wanted to know, what do think the _truth_ is now?’

Aaron looked at Robert, wetting his lips with his tongue.

‘I don’t know... this, I suppose, that I can’t shake you.’

‘Go on.’

‘You know, that when you’re around, when I’m around you, this happens.’

Robert looked at his eyes. ‘Why does it happen?’

‘Don’t know.’  Aaron looked away.

 ‘I think you do. Tell me Aaron.’ He asked softly. ’Please.’

Aaron bit his lip again.

‘I can’t. I’m engaged to Ed. I shouldn’t be doing this at all. I hate being this person that does this. I don’t want to think about it, even. Not yet.’

Aaron shifted and rolled onto his back, looking up at the ceiling. It was Robert’s turn to move onto his side, raising his head up on an elbow.

‘Just tell me.’

‘No.’ Aaron looked up into Robert’s pale eyes. They were shining. Robert didn’t cry easily or often. He’d learned to hide his vulnerabilities, but Aaron knew he was upset.

‘Then you don’t have to. I’ll wait till you’re ready to tell me. But you know my feelings are the same as they were in the beginning when you left England. I love you, Aaron. I still love you.’

Aaron looked away out at the evening sky. Birds moved against the inky background, hovering on the wind that reached inland from the North Sea.

‘Then why didn’t you come out for me when we had a chance? Why did you do it for Dylan and not for me? I don’t get it. You blew our chance away. And now you come back to me, just expecting me to pick up where we were, because suddenly it suits you.’

‘No,’ Robert objected, looking confused. ‘It wasn’t like that. You’re right. I was a coward about coming out. I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t ready, but when you left I knew that I had to change. That it was the only chance I had to get you back. I didn’t come out for Dylan. I came out for you. I went out with him because of you. To show you that I could come out. And then I was going to end it, but then you were with Ed.’

‘So what? You’re just messing him around. What sort of a person does that make you, or me?’

‘He’ll get over it. Aaron listen, you came away because you were angry with me and you were right. Because you said I wasn’t ready. But I am ready now. I’m out. I did what you wanted. So there’s nothing now to stop us from being together.’

‘Except now I’m engaged to Ed.’

‘Leave him.’

‘It’s not that simple. I can’t just do that to him. And how can I trust you when you’re telling me you’re still prepared to just walk over people and hurt them like this?’

Robert didn’t answer. He lowered his eyes to the sheets.

He let his long fingers trace the edge of Aaron’s collar bone until they came to the small hallow at the base of his throat, exploring and caressing the space, before using the back of his finger to run over the rise of his chest.

‘You been lifting weights?’ He whispered with a smile.

‘We have some, err, dumbbells at the apartment. You know Ed uses them. I’ve been messing around with them a bit. ‘

Robert flinched again at the mention of Ed’s name.

He lowered his lips to Aaron’s chest, kissing the scars that were scored there.

 

Finn and Dylan had got through the six pack and quite a large number of tequila shots and Finn was aware that he was definitely feeling somewhere on the downwards slope between being tipsy and outright blathered. Dylan hadn’t said anything more about Robert since they’d come indoors, which was a relief, but he’d still managed to say a lot of other things. Dylan talked a lot he realized. He wondered about Robert, who was always so self-sufficient, forming a relationship with someone so seemingly opposite in every way. Although, he had to concede that Dylan had a really hot body, so maybe that was why, he thought wistfully. That was probably it.

Dylan had been going through his playlist and explaining about different dance styles. Right now he was playing Drake’s Hot Line Bling and pointing out that this was a classic cha cha and he demonstrated some hip moves to a bemused and blushing Finn.

Dylan poured them each one shot more of tequila and bounced down onto the sofa beside him.

‘Let’s go to Bar West!’ He suggested, downing his shot.

Finn gulped.

‘OK.’ He agreed. Through the fug of alcohol fumes, he had this vague feeling that taking Robert’s boyfriend to Bar West might not be the cleverest of ideas, but somehow the evening had been set on a trajectory that seemed to be beyond his control.

Dylan went upstairs to get changed, leaving Finn to reflect that they’d probably sober up a bit on the bus on the way into Leeds, which would be a good thing for both of them.

Bar West was packed. In the early summer evening air, the clientele had spread up the stairs, out onto the pavement in front of the club. When they went in, Dylan pushed his way to the bar, where he was met by the staff with a smile and served quickly ahead of others who’d been waiting a lot longer. As they stood and drunk their beer, Finn couldn’t help but notice that Dylan attracted a lot of admiring glances. He told Finn he was going to dance and invited him to join him.

‘I’ll just watch.’ Finn replied.

Darren came over and offered to buy Finn a drink. Although the relationship had not ended well, both of them were sensible enough to move on.

‘Are you with him?’ He asked Finn, following the direction of his gaze to where Dylan was dancing.

‘No, he’s Robert’s boyfriend.’ Finn replied.

‘Yeah. I remember seeing them together, I think. Hot, though.’ Darren said. Finn blushed as he watched Dylan pull at the hem of his T-shirt and take it off, revealing a toned slender upper body and angular hip bones above low cut jeans. Someone approached Dylan and talked to him for a moment head bent, he saw Dylan smile and nod. The man came back with a bottle of beer that he passed to Dylan and then he had his hand on the skin around the back of his waist and Finn watched in shock as he closed his eyes and started a slow kiss.

Finn hesitated, then walked towards them.

‘Dylan, Dylan! You’re drunk. You shouldn’t be doing that. Think about Robert.’ He said. The man with Dylan leaned back and looked at him in surprise.

‘Sorry, mate. He’s drunk. He has a boyfriend.’ Finn went on.

‘Yeah? Well now he has me. Back off.’

‘No. You back off.’ Finn replied, deciding he didn’t like the bloke’s tone. With Ross and Pete for brothers, Finn had learned not to be too intimidated by this type of talk.

All at once Darren and a couple of other lads stepped up.

‘You OK?’ Darren asked Finn. Looking at them, the bloke walked away. Dylan pouted.

‘What’d you do that for? Robert doesn’t care. He’s in Paris with Aaron buying cars. He loves him, you know.’

Finn put his hands on his hips, surprised by Dylan’s outburst.

‘Aaron is engaged to marry Ed. They’re just friends. This is all just your imagination.’

‘You think?’ Dylan asked.

‘I know.’ Finn answered confidently.

All at once, Dylan put a hand around the back of Finn’s head and pulled his face towards him. He kissed him, forcing his mouth open and pushing his tongue against Finn’s. Finn knew he should pull away, but it was so long since he’d kissed anyone and the kiss was so hot, he let it last longer than he should.

‘Look!’ He said, breaking apart. ‘I’m going to take you home, now.’

‘Good!’ Dylan grinned, raising his beer bottle and taking a long swig. ‘Are we going to fuck?’

‘No. We are not.’ Finn blushed yet again.

It was a long taxi ride home. Finn had bought them both coffee from the all night newsagents just outside Bar West. It was two in the morning and he was starting work at nine next day. He was going to feel exhausted all day. When did he get so old?

‘He said he’d call in the evening, but he never did.’ Dylan was saying. ‘He’s had sex with other men before since we started going out. He told me I mustn’t be jealous. But how do you just switch that feeling off?’

‘Look, none of this is my business. Maybe you should just talk to him.’

‘You never slept with him, did you?’ Dylan asked Finn who shook his head in horror. Not that he wouldn’t, just that he wouldn’t dare to even think about it.

‘I have my driving test tomorrow.’ Dylan told Finn.

‘Then you seriously need to sober up. You can be charged with drink driving even when you’re a learner you know.’

Dylan nodded and looked glum.

‘I don’t think Robert even remembered.’ He sighed.

Dylan’s hand suddenly went slack and before Finn could register what was happening, the scolding coffee had slipped from his fingers spilling over Dylan’s thigh and lower leg before landing on the floor space at the back of the taxi. Dylan’s eyes rolled up and his body slumped. Finn realized that he had fainted.

‘Stop, stop! My friend’s ill!’ He urged the driver, who pulled over, muttering complaints about wishing he didn’t work on Friday nights and young people and alcohol.

When the cab stopped, Finn opened the door and let in the fresh air, gently pulling up Dylan and patting his face, calling his name. His skin was cold and clammy. It took him a while before he came round. Finn wondered about calling his Mum but knew she wouldn’t thank him for being woken in the night for someone in a drunken coma. Just, there was something about Dylan’s fainting that seemed different from a drunken coma. Finn frowned.

When they got back to Emmerdale, Finn had no choice but to go inside with Dylan.

He told him to sit on the sofa then went to the kitchen and made more coffee. He found some bread and started to make toast. Through the open door he saw Dylan struggle out off his trousers and he saw the red welt on his muscular thigh and calf, evidence of the scald from the coffee that had spilt over him.

‘That looks painful. You should run it under cold water.’ He said bringing through the coffee and toast.

‘It doesn’t feel so bad.’ Dylan said.

‘Not now, maybe,’ Finn went on, ‘But it will tomorrow. Why don’t you get in a shower?’

After the coffee Dylan started to go upstairs.

‘Can you come up?’ he asked Finn. ‘I just… don’t feel well.’

‘Sure.’ Finn followed him. He sat nervously on the edge of Robert and Dylan’s bed, while Dylan took a towel and went to shower.

‘Leave the door open, in case you faint again, I mean.’ Finn blushed once more.

Dylan emerged with a towel tied round his waist, his hair wet. He climbed into the bed like that.

‘Thank you Finn, I really like you being here. You’re so kind. It was a sort of fucked up night really. I’m a mess at the moment, but Robert will be back tonight. Then I’ll be OK.’

Dylan closed his eyes and Finn watched him. He decided he would leave in around five minutes and lay back on the bed. A few moments later, he had fallen asleep.

 

Around three in the morning, Robert ran them a bath. Aaron worried that the sound of the water in the pipes would disturb other guests, but Robert said he didn’t care. After all he’d paid enough money for the room and he would use it as he chose.

They climbed into the warm water together, Robert putting up his legs and pulling Aaron towards him so he was reclined against his chest. They lay quietly, breathing in the moisture. Robert took some soap and washed Aaron down, under his arms over his chest, down to his groin and thighs, kissing the side of Aaron’s face. He lay back. This was everything. This was all he ever wanted. He blinked, realizing he’d nodded off for a moment. He noticed that Aaron was sleeping on his chest.

He woke him and after rinsing them both down with clean hot water from the shower head, they climbed out and wrapped in the white hotel robes, climbed back into bed.

‘I don’t want to sleep when you’re here with me.’ Robert muttered.

Aaron reached up and pulled his face down into another kiss. He could feel his heart racing again. There in the hotel, just the two of them, it seemed possible, a future with Robert, he could almost see it as the rest of the world faded away.

Robert moved over him slowly and maneuvered his legs so that he opened a space between Aaron’s thighs once more. He moved his hips against him, reawakening Aaron’s cock. Robert pulled Aaron’s legs high around his waist. Aaron gasped when he entered him, filling him as he pushed in all the way. He pulled out again slowly, leaning down and arching his back to kiss Aaron’s nose and mouth and jaw, before pushing in again once more.

 Aaron reached his hands up and pulled Robert’s throat nearer his mouth then pressed his lips there, opening his mouth he used his tongue and lips to suck against the sweet freckled skin.

Robert groaned at the sensation and felt his cock grow, getting tighter inside Aaron and filling him further. As Aaron released him he pulled back and started to thrust with urgent deep strokes. Aaron held on tightly to his shoulders.

Later they slept not waking until nine and then racing to get to breakfast in time and satisfy their ravenous hunger.

 

In the morning, when he woke, the first thing Finn saw was Dylan’s lying next to him face down on the bed, the cover around his thighs. Finn swore to himself. He checked his memory and recalled with a mixture of total relief and slight regret that he hadn’t actually had sex with him. He gently slid off the bed and pulled the cover up over Dylan, then checked the time on his phone. He just had time to go home and get a shower before going to work at the B&B.

‘Dylan? You OK?’ he asked. When he saw Dylan’s eyes open he went on.

‘I have to go. I’ll speak to you later. Don’t forget you have a driving test today.’

Dylan turned and blinked, for a moment uncovering himself with the movement and then covering up again when he realized Finn was there. Finn saw the red scald again on his leg. He noticed Dylan wince with pain as he moved and felt sorry for the boy.

‘Look after yourself.’ He said. ‘Bye.’

Finn left quickly.

 

When they go to the dealer in Lille, Robert and Aaron inspected the Bugatti and also saw a Delahaye with a 6 cylinder engine. After long negotiations, Robert bought them both, leaving Aaron wondering how much money he actually had.

The journey back to Paris started in high spirits, both of them teasing one another and sharing banter, still high from the night of love making and from the successful purchase of the vintage cars, but as they got closer, the mood changed.

‘Will you show me where you live at least?’ Robert asked. They’d parked the car and were walking back towards Robert’s hotel, aware that a couple of hours later he would be leaving for the airport and the time they had spent together would be over.

Aaron bit his lip and nodded. ‘Come on then.’ He said and led the way over the Paris streets past bread shops and pastry shops, fruit stalls and small bars and café’s with cast iron tables and chairs on the pavements.

Finally he stopped outside an apartment building with steps leading up to an entrance door with a row of doorbells with an intercom. Robert read Ed Roberts name next to apartment number 11.

‘Er... Do you want to come in?’ Aaron asked, kicking at the pavement with his shoe, his overnight bag slung over his shoulder.

‘Where’s Ed?’ Robert asked.

‘He’s playing a match.’

‘You missed it.’ Robert observed.

‘I don’t go to all his matches.’

‘OK.’ Robert wanted to see where Aaron lived. They walked up the stairs and Aaron unlocked the apartment. Even in the mid-afternoon the entrance was dark and the apartment had a peaceful, calm feel to it that Robert recognized was at odds with his own brand of energy.

They stepped into the living room. Robert saw the sports medallions and cups and team photos, Ed’s face grinning out at them. There was a large rather beaten leather sofa and flat screen TV. Robert wished all of a sudden he hadn’t seen it. He had a sudden image of Aaron and Ed together there, doing things he didn’t want to think about.

‘I have to go. It’s not long to my flight.’ He said quickly.

They both hesitated, standing in Aaron’s living room with the afternoon city street noises echoing from below through the open window.

Robert knew he wanted Aaron so much, it was the hardest thing in the world to walk away.

He saw Aaron’s eyes move to his lips and suddenly he was reaching forward, holding his face in his hands in a kiss full of longing.

‘I want you, now.’  Robert said suddenly. ‘Where’s your bedroom? I want you on your bed.’

Aaron shook his head looking towards the bedroom door. Robert followed his gaze and took his hand leading him to the door, opening it and leading him in. The bed was disheveled, the duvet thrown loosely across it.

‘Where do you sleep, which side of the bed is yours?’

‘Robert…’

‘No I want to know. I want to lie down where you lie down.’ Robert started to strip off his clothes, peeling off his T-shirt, kicking off his shoes and unfastening his trousers. He reached for Aaron pulling him close feeling Aaron’s hands resting softly on his chest.

‘This is wrong.’ Aaron objected.

‘No, this is right. You and me. This, Aaron, is the only right thing. Everything else is wrong.’

He could see from Aaron’s eyes that he wanted him, too.

‘Get your kit off then, Aaron, please.’

Aaron stepped forward and let Robert help him by pushing his hands under the hem of his T-shirt and lifting it over his head. Robert lowered his face to Aaron’s chest and kissed him softly dragging his lips down over his skin.

Aaron hesitated then smiled and placed his fingers lightly on Robert’s hair.

They finished undressing quickly and lay down on the bed. Robert lay on his back, his head on Aaron’s pillow. Aaron shifted between his thighs, looking down at him, running a hand softly over his chest and down over his stomach.

Aaron shifted forward on his knees and touched his cock against Robert’s. He pulled up Robert’s hand. Robert was so good at stroking them both together with his long fingers.

They didn’t have a lot of time. Finding the lube, Aaron pulled down Robert’s hips and pushed his thighs up. He stroked around Robert’s hole, pushing a finger inside, then quickly two fingers.

He entered him, leaning forward, kissing his jaw, his collar bone, letting his tongue sweep over a nipple, listening to Robert release a long loud moan.

And then he started to move. He was fast. Robert was right. Having him here in his bed was everything. He thrust deeply, his cock felt so sensitive with each stroke, if possible more than he’d felt yet over the past couple of days. He swore at length, eyes closed and heard Robert laugh and moan all at once. He opened his eyes again. He needed to see Robert, here, where he’d never thought to have him.

 Robert was holding onto his biceps, his fingers squeezing against him. Aaron wondered if he would leave bruises, whether Ed would see them and know what they were, thumb and finger prints on his skin.

Aaron was so close. He looked at Robert’s eyes. As he went faster, Robert looked up at him and smiled, his lips parted. Aaron knew what he wanted. What he needed. He leant down and pressing his mouth over Robert he slipped his tongue inside. It was enough, it was always enough to take Robert over the edge and he moaned into Aaron’s mouth as he came, shuddering as his cum sprayed between them.

All at once Aaron came, too. Gasping, calling out Robert’s name. The words _I love you_ echoed in his mind reaching for his tongue, but he kept his mouth shut. There were too many uncertainties. He wouldn’t say them yet. Once said, they would change everything. He needed time.

After they were quiet.

‘When I’ve gone and you come to bed, you’ll think of me, that I was here with you. You’ll think about how it felt being inside me. How much I want you.’ Robert whispered.

Aaron rolled his eyes but said nothing. They turned on their sides to face each other across Aaron’s pillow. He put a hand on Robert’s arm just below his shoulder, letting his fingers caress his skin, knowing this would be the last time.

‘Don’t marry him Aaron.’ Robert said. ‘You know you can’t. Nothing’s changed for me.’

Aaron leaned his mouth forward, silencing Robert with a deep kiss.

When they finally broke apart, he spoke.

‘Give me some time.’

Robert nodded. He climbed out of bed and dressed. At the bedroom door he looked at Aaron one last time and then walked away.

Once out on the street, he walked quickly, aware he would have to rush to check out of the hotel and make it to the airport for his flight. He checked the app on his phone and saw his flight was on time. Looking up he suddenly saw Ed walking towards him. He quickly put his face down and crossed the street dodging cars. Glancing across he saw Ed continue on his way, oblivious to Robert’s presence. Robert’s fingers hovered over messaging. Should he warn Aaron? Or should he let Ed walk in and find Aaron as he’d left him, undressed in bed with the sheets stained with Robert’s cum, the used condom discarded on the carpet by the bed?

For a moment, he wished that Ed had arrived twenty minutes earlier. But he could never bear for Aaron to be hurt. So he texted a message.

**_Saw Ed coming home. You’ve got about 5 mins._ **

Then he breathed in again. He wrote a second text.

**_I still love you._ **

He pressed send and then continued to his hotel.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert returns to Emmerdale form Paris and hatches a plan to get back together with Aaron, but then tragedy hits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blood cw

Dylan waited in the arrivals lounge at Leeds Bradford airport.

Even though he’d taken a couple of pain killers, his leg was still raw from the scald caused by the coffee spill the night before. In fact as the day wore on, the pain seemed to be getting worse. The scald had run down to the tender skin between his thighs and to the back of his knee on his right leg, so he’d dressed in loose sweat pants and stood with his legs bowed, shifting from one foot to another. He watched the arrivals doors as they opened and closed, trying to catch a glimpse of Robert among the passengers walking through from passport control to the luggage belts.

  When he saw his familiar tall blonde figure, his heart skipped.

There was a part of him that wished that he’d never met Robert; that he hadn’t offered to buy him a drink that night at Bar West; that he hadn’t gone home with him, only to be overwhelmed and left aching for more. But by now he needed him so much. The scald on his leg was nothing to the burn in his chest and throat when he thought about Robert slipping away from him.

Looking at him now, he noticed how his summer tan had brought out his freckles and bleached the tips of his hair.  Then all at once Robert saw him and raised his eyebrows in greeting, and the next minute he was walking towards him.

‘Alright?’ Dylan asked, looking up at him with a smile.

He quickly registered the mark on the side of his throat, that his lips were chapped. He kept smiling but his chest constricted. He looked for some explanation, trying to push away the only real conclusion he could make, which was that Robert had slept with someone in France, and that that someone was Aaron.

Robert smiled back at him but didn’t move to kiss him and that hurt too. Dylan made a real effort not to let anything show on his face.

They’d been good before he went away. The weekend at the Lake District had been exciting and when they weren’t buying cars, they’d spent most of the time in the bedroom, but as Robert’s trip to France approached, he’d grown more distant and Dylan had started watching for clues.

‘Do you want me to take something?’ Dylan offered, gesturing at Robert’s hands full of bags.

‘Actually, these are for you. I got you some clothes.’

‘Wow.’ Dylan blushed taking the duty free bags, looking at the French designer brands. Robert had thought about him and bought him expensive gifts. Dylan was just left feeling more confused.

‘So, are we taking a taxi then?’ Robert asked.

‘No.’ Dylan kept walking with him towards the airport car park, he pulled the keys to the Ford Escort from his pocket and glanced sideways at Robert, who raised his eyebrows.

‘Seriously?’ He asked with a grin ‘You passed your driving test?’

Dylan smiled. ‘Yeah! I was pretty impressed myself actually.’ He glanced at Robert ‘I didn’t think you would have remembered it was today, being so busy.’

 ’Course I remembered!’ Robert answered with a hand on his back.

Dylan drove Robert home. Robert in the passenger seat bent over his phone, checking his text messages. Just once he cautioned Dylan to slow down a bit.

‘Don’t go wild, there are speed cameras here, and you don’t want points right away on your new license.’

When they got to the cottage, Dylan looked at his clothes which included a Saint Laurent bomber jacket, and thanked Robert. He noticed how bright Robert’s eyes looked and how his skin glowed, even though he was tired.

 ‘You didn’t go to your Mum and Dad’s, did you?’ Robert asked.

‘No, I went to Bar West. I met Finn and he kept me company.’

 ‘Finn Barton?’ Robert was surprised.

‘Yeah. We drank too much. It was a late night, well early morning I suppose. But at least I got to dance.’

Robert nodded. Dylan wished he’d ask if anybody hit on him, but he didn’t.

‘Listen, I am shattered. I’m going to take a shower and have an early night.’ Robert announced.

Dylan nodded, listening to the pronoun ‘I’ and noticing the lack of invitation with a sick feeling. It was a clear enough message. When Robert had gone upstairs he wrapped his arms around himself and wondered how he would react if he asked about Aaron, rehearsing the question he knew he’d never ask: Did you have sex with Aaron? Did you make love to Aaron?

He picked up the Saint Laurent bomber jacket and threw it across the room and then felt sorry and, limping over the carpet, picked it up again. It was beautiful. He lay on the sofa under it and closed his eyes.

About three in the morning, he was woken by Robert shaking him.

‘What you doing here? Why didn’t you come to bed?’

He pushed Dylan upstairs. Dylan stripped off in the dark room and slid between the cold sheets next to where Robert had been sleeping. Robert closed his eyes and Dylan turned away from him and slept again.

 

In the morning when he woke, Robert was already up.

‘I need to go to work.’ He explained. ‘I know its Sunday, but I’ve got these cars coming from France.’ He hesitated ‘Come with me if you want?’ he said, looking out of the window.

‘Nah. You’re alright. I might drive in later now I can drive myself. You know, go to Mum and Dad’s since I didn’t see them.’

In the car, Robert paused. He texted Aaron.

**_I miss you. What are you doing?_ **

He sent him a photo of them both taken in the bedroom in Lille, sitting up against the bed head, leaning against each other’s shoulders.

He waited, then frowned when no reply came. He couldn’t stop himself from wondering if Ed was touching Aaron, if they’d made love. Robert wrapped his arms over the steering wheel and pressed his forehead against them.

Aaron had asked for time, but Robert wasn’t sure how much time he could give.

 

When it wasn’t a training day, Ed always slept late. Aaron, in contrast, tended to wake early these days. Once he’d woken, his head was too full to go back to sleep. This morning he’d got up quietly and switching on a sports channel on mute, he’d sat in the living room, thinking about the past three days.

What he’d done to Ed was unforgivable, but with Robert near him it was as inevitable as the movement of the tides. Robert and he always had their highs and lows. But wasn’t that just the problem? Just because they’d had a high, was he prepared to throw away something so much more consistent, someone so much more worthy? He knew that all too soon the low times would come back with Robert, and that he’d be left struggling in stormy waters all over again.

He decided to run to clear his head.

When he got back, Ed was still in bed and Aaron got straight in the shower. After five minutes Ed, hearing the water, stepped in to join him. He stood behind him and wrapped his arms around the front of Aaron’s chest, pressing his lips to the side of his throat.

‘I missed you. Thank God it’s Sunday at last.’ Ed murmured. Aaron nodded. Ed moved round in front of him and moved close, leaning in for a kiss, his hands glided over Aaron’s body. Aaron thought about how much he hated Robert, how he always destroyed everything.

Later, in bed, Ed spoke to him.

‘Talk to me.’ He asked. ‘Because something’s changed and I need to know what it is. Is it the engagement? Or is it moving to England? We’re going to be married, Aaron, so you need to feel you can trust me with whatever’s bothering you.’

‘I don’t know.’ Aaron lied. ‘When I’ve worked it out, I’ll talk to you. I promise.’

 

Finn was surprised to see Dylan in the reception at the B&B. Tracy looked him up and down. She’d seen him around, a good looking young lad with striking eyes, and knew he was Robert’s boyfriend.

‘What did you want, love?’ She asked.

‘I didn’t mean to interrupt your work.’ Dylan looked at Finn’s face and then he suddenly sat down. His face crumpled, and he raised his arms and wiped the back of his hands over his eyes to stem the tears. ’Sorry.’ He sobbed.

Tracy grimaced at Finn. ‘I’ll go and make a cup of tea then, shall I?’

Finn sat down next to Dylan and tentatively slipped an arm over his shoulder.

‘What did he do this time?’

 

Robert sat in the office at the car lot and waited for a text from Aaron. Aaron had told him to give him time, but now he’d left Paris, he felt so far away. There were still five or six weeks before Aaron and Ed were due to return to England and Robert knew he couldn’t wait that long.

 Left alone, the danger was always that Aaron would choose to do the right thing, rather than choosing to do the right thing for them.

He needed to change the game. He needed a plan. He ran his hand through his hair, thinking. Then turned on his laptop.

A short while later he got a text reply from Aaron.

**_You’re not helping._ **

Robert texted back.

**_Is Ed with you?_ **

Aaron replied again.

**_We live together. You know that._ **

Robert paced his office. His breathing quickened and his lips curled over his teeth, hot tears burned at his eyes.

He pressed call and listened to Aaron’s phone ring. Then the call was rejected. He called again. He got a message saying that the number was unavailable right now.

He sat down heavily. He felt angry with Aaron and angry with himself. He should have booked to stay longer in France. If he’d had a couple of days more with Aaron maybe he would have been able to convince him to leave Ed.

He knew he needed to calm down. He poured himself a glass of whiskey and drank it down in one.

He texted Dylan.

**_Are you at home? I’m on my way._ **

When Robert walked in, Dylan was playing Grand Theft Auto while in the kitchen music was playing from the wireless dock.

He stood up and raised his eyebrow in greeting, putting his hands in his grey joggers.

‘Did you eat, Robbie? I made some pasta.’

Robert moved towards him and Dylan’s realized that Robert had something other than macaroni in mind.

‘We’ll eat later, eh?’ Robert’s voice was like gravel as he moved towards him. Placing his hands on Dylan’s hips he pulled him close, then leaned into a kiss, pushing his tongue into Dylan’s mouth. Dylan reached up and held his shoulders, kissing him back, relieved that Robert was finally paying attention to him.

Robert took Dylan’s hand and led him upstairs to the bedroom. Pushing him down on the bed, he kissed him again, pressing against him with the weight of his body. Robert felt Dylan’s body tense up and leaned back in surprise to look at him. Seeing his eyes were full of tears, he moved back with a sigh.

‘Come on, Dylan.’ He growled, ‘Don’t be like this again!’

Dylan raised his head and pushed his tongue into Robert’s mouth, and then Robert resumed kissing him and started to pull down his jogging pants. He saw the scalds on his legs and sat back in shock and bewilderment.

‘WH… what did you do?’

 ‘I spilt coffee.’ Dylan answered ‘It hurts so much!’  And suddenly he was crying again.

Robert realized that all the tension when he’d been pressing up against Dylan had been from the physical pain, not, as he’d thought, from jealousy at all.  He looked closely and saw that a large area of the skin on Dylan’s thighs was flaming red, while at the edges of the area there was some blistering which in places had burst and become infected so that the raw flesh was encrusted with yellow puss.

‘Why didn’t you tell me?’ Robert was shocked. He pulled Dylan into a gentle hug against his chest. ‘I can’t believe you were just ignoring this. You idiot, Dylan! Come on. We’ll go down the emergency department.’

‘It must have been a hell of a lot of coffee.’ Robert asked for more details in the car.

 ‘Yeah, it was a venti.’

‘So you were drunk, or what?’

‘I didn’t think I was so drunk, but I guess I must have been pretty far gone. Finn tried to get me to show his Mum, but I wouldn’t.’

At the hospital they gave Dylan antibiotics and put some antibacterial cream on the areas that looked infected. They told him to keep his legs well aired, but to keep himself warm and drink lots of fluids.

Dylan explained to the nurse that he was a dancer. ‘I have an audition for a dance school in Manchester this week.’ He went on.

‘I think you’d best postpone, love. I’d give it at least a week or so to be comfortable. We’ll get the doctor to write you a note.’

When they got back it was already mid evening. Robert told Dylan to go and find some shorts to wear while he heated up the pasta and opened a bottle of beer. Robert kept checking that Dylan was alright, reminding him to drink water and take his medicine, asking if he was comfortable. Dylan hid his smiles.

 

Eventually they went to bed.

When they lay down. Robert leaned over and pecked Dylan on the lips to say goodnight, but Dylan moved his face towards him, nudging him for more.

‘What do you want, hey?’ Robert asked quietly. Dylan’s eyes looked at him intently, his lips parted.

‘I don’t want to hurt you, Dylan.’

He leaned into a kiss, using his tongue to slowly stroke against Dylan’s tongue in his mouth.

With two hands he pushed into the waistband of Dylan’s shorts, and then gently eased them down and off, watching Dylan flinch as the material touched the scalded skin.

‘Sorry’ he whispered.

Shuffling up with his shoulders and neck against the headboard he pulled Dylan into the crook of his arm, then gently spread his thighs.

 He could see how much Dylan wanted this from his cock pushing up against his stomach over his T-shirt, already making a wet patch on the grey material.

Robert teased his tongue in and out of Dylan’s mouth.

He reached across to the bedside table where there was a lube dispenser and pressed some onto his fingertips then moved his hand down, stroking over Dylan’s balls and up his shaft, keeping his open mouth against Dylan’s and stroking their tongues together.

Dylan moaned into his mouth.

‘You like that do you? He asked in a whisper. ‘But I know what you like more.’

Robert took more lube then moved his fingertips down until he found his hole. He stroked around the skin there, feeling Dylan pushing his hips upwards with small thrusts.

Robert clucked his tongue with disapproval.

‘No. Let me do it.’ He whispered, kissing Dylan’s ear, waiting, with his hand suspended, to touch him again when he was still.

Dylan’s cock pulsed.

Robert moved back to Dylan’s rim and stroked round him again then let his forefinger slip gently into his hole, penetrating with just the tip in and out.

Dylan let out a string of short moans until Robert pressed his mouth over his again.

He moved his finger deeper feeling the hot ring of muscle squeeze around his knuckle. He bent his finger stroking inside and then all at once Dylan called out into his mouth and he smiled into the kiss. Robert quickly replaced the finger with two, stroking against the same spot.

Robert looked for Dylan’s hand, placing it over his own shaft,

‘Come on, show me what you do when I’m not here.’

He moved his hand on top of Dylan’s until Dylan had started using his fist on himself.

Robert slid his fingers down again and back into his hole, thrusting more quickly with his fingers, finding his magic spot with each stroke while Dylan stroked himself.

‘Did you fuck with someone at Bar West?’  Robert whispered.

Dylan’s voice was shaking as he answered.

‘Finn stopped me, but then I kissed him.’

‘Finn?’ Robert felt surprised. ‘Did you like that?’ He asked with curiosity.

Dylan let out a long moan as Robert slipped in a third finger, stretching Dylan and smiling as he listened to him unravelling.

.’Yesssss.’  Dylan answered. His heart raced. He was so close to coming. ‘Did you fuck Aaron in France?’

‘Yes.’ Robert answered, his heart racing.

Dylan nodded and stopped his hand. Robert stopped moving his fingers.

They looked at each other for a moment, wondering what next, now it was said.

Then Robert moved his head down and licked Dylan’s cock head with his tongue, lapping at the pre cum, then sucking him. He moved back up to kiss him.

 ‘Come on, sexy boy, let’s do this.’

He felt Dylan’s arse pulse around his fingers and he thrust with them again stroking against the magic nerves inside him.

 ‘Robert, Robert.’ Dylan called.  ‘Please.’

Robert felt as the waves of contractions hit Dylan, squeezing against his fingers. He watched as the white cum poured from him with each of Robert’s thrusts, then as Dylan reached his hand to stroke himself through the final waves of his orgasm.

Robert passed him tissues and smiled into his eyes.

‘You?’ Dylan asked.

‘Not tonight, sweetheart, tonight was for you.’

Dylan lay in the dark, thinking about Robert with Aaron. Was it a relief to know the truth? Dylan knew that Aaron was engaged to Ed, but they were moving back to Leeds in a few weeks’ time. He heard Robert’s breathing change with sleep and stared open eyed into the dark.

 

A week later, Aaron looked at the envelope that had come in the post. He recognized from the company name that it was from Robert’s new business. He wondered what Robert was playing at. They’d spoken a couple of times in the week on the phone and he’d begged him to let him have some space to clear his head.

‘I need to know what you’re going to do, Aaron. One way or the other.  I can’t live like this.’ Robert had said.

‘Me neither.’

‘Then make your mind up, Aaron.’ He’d said.

That was the last time they’d spoken.

And now he was sitting staring at the envelope, wondering if he wanted to open it or not.

‘Aren’t you going to open it?’ Ed asked, spreading Nutella over his toast.

So he did. Inside he found two pages of A4 paper, stapled in the corner.

The first page was a letter. It was offering him a job as a service and restoration mechanic. The second page outlined the salary and benefits.

He flicked back to the first page his heart racing.

There was a start date of less than two weeks away.

‘What is it then?’

‘Uh. You remember Robert?’

Ed looked up sharply. ‘Yes, of course. Robert and Dylan, Robert.’

‘Um yeah, well, he’s offered me a job.’

Ed looked surprised. ‘Can I see?’

‘Sure.’ Aaron handed over the letter, aware that his hands had become clammy with nerves.

‘Good offer. Good pay. What do you think?’ Ed asked with a frown.

Aaron blinked at Ed.  ‘It would mean me leaving Paris early. Did you see the start date?’

‘Well, if you think this is a good job for you, we’ll manage. What do you want to do?’

‘It’s a good job, I suppose.’  Aaron shrugged. His heart was racing.

‘Then say yes.’

 Ed leaned down and kissed him a nutella flavored kiss.

 

As the days passed Dylan noticed that Robert seemed to brighten. His mood lifted, he started to smile more and seemed more at ease. With the help of the antibiotics, Dylan’s legs healed quickly and as the French trip was left behind, they started to make love again, the summer heat adding to the intensity of the pleasure.

Sometimes Dylan worried about what would happen when Aaron finally turned up. But that was still some weeks away and meanwhile, as far as Dylan could tell, he was forgotten.  They were enjoying themselves. They took a trip at Dylan’s suggestion to the outdoor swimming pool.

 ‘I’m not a kid.‘ Robert had objected grinning.

 ‘I am.‘  Dylan had begged and so Robert had agreed.

They had fun play fighting in the icy cold water, lying on towels looking up at the wispy clouds, absently pulling up chunks of grass with their fingertips, Dylan turning to stroke his lips over Robert’s chlorine flavored shoulder, still freezing from the after-effects of the water.  After, their skin still half numb, they walked by the river in the hot sunshine, watching the water stream over weeds and limestone under the bridge. Dylan had hopped over stepping stones, playing balance on one leg, showing off his agile body, while Robert got his shoes and socks wet and swore at him.

Another day they took the short hike up the Cow and Calf rocks on Ilkley Moor, Dylan teasing Robert by pretending to run and jump off the edge, so that Robert grabbed hold of him by the waist and held him tight, attracting stares from other visitors. They had a long leisurely Sunday lunch at the pub there, finishing with whiskey liqueurs with their coffee, then went home and made love.

Dylan asked about going to the Royal Armouries in Leeds. Apparently some of his friends from the drama department at college had some role or another reenacting some historic battles.

But Robert said no.

‘Sorry, Dylan. I have to work tomorrow.’

‘It’s Sunday. You never work on Sunday. Well, hardly ever.’

‘Well, I do tomorrow, all day. I won’t be back until late. Why don’t you take a shift at the restaurant? It's near the Armouries you can see your friends in a break.’

So Dylan did what Robert suggested, booking a double shift.

 

Aaron took the Eurostar to Leeds. He had a large suitcase and a backpack. He hadn’t really been in France long enough to accrue a lot of stuff, most of the stuff in the apartment was Ed’s.

Ed had said it was a good thing that Aaron was going ahead of him. Aaron could spend some time looking for an apartment for them. Aaron had felt angry with himself and disgusted with Robert. This would never be a good thing. As he kissed Ed goodbye at the station a small part of him knew that it would be a last goodbye. That at some point very soon his life would change with no going back for any of them. He held onto Ed a little tighter and Ed smiled gently.

‘It won’t be long, mon cheri.’ he said.

It was a five and half hour journey. Robert met him in Leeds and took him to an apartment. He said it belonged to a friend.

They put Aaron’s bags down inside the door and without a word they moved towards each other and their mouths and bodies collided. Aaron pulled at Robert’s shirt, struggling with buttons, finally losing patience and pulling them apart. He pressed his fingers against Robert’s skin and pushed his tongue harder into Robert’s mouth, his beard stroking against his face.

‘Where’s the bedroom then?’ he growled.

Robert took his hand and led him through.

Aaron pushed Robert down on his back on the bed with his feet still touching the floor. He stood in front of him, looking down.

‘Like what you see?’ Robert asked with a smile. His eyes were dark with desire.

‘I like where you are.’ Aaron answered back, smiling and rolling his eyes.

He leaned over to undo the button and zip on Robert’s trousers releasing Robert’s amazing length. He couldn’t quite believe they were together like this again. He took him in his hand and stroked him. Then standing back, he took off his hoodie and his T-shirt, and stepped out of his trousers and boxer briefs while Robert lay watching him, his lids lowered, his parted lips open, his cock twitching at the sight of Aaron naked above him.

Aaron pulled Roberts trousers down and off and pulled his hips over the edge of the bed towards him.

‘Are you ready for me?’ He asked, pulling on his cock.

‘You know I am.’ Robert gasped.

Robert watched as Aaron slid on a condom. He rubbed lube against Robert’s hole, and then still standing, pushed his cock head in.

They both moaned together and then suddenly grinned at each other.

‘Fuck, I missed you, Robert.’ Aaron breathed. ‘Fuuuuck.’ He pushed further inside feeling Robert’s tight space around him, watching his face as he filled him all the way.

Then he slid back.

‘Yes, Aaron.’ Robert moaned at the feel of Aaron’s cock rubbing against his prostrate.

Aaron started to thrust with rhythmic deep strokes. They both knew this wasn’t going to last. He gathered speed and watched Robert fist himself. Aaron felt sweat run down his face as he kept up the fast pace and then all at once he was at the edge.

He looked at Robert’s face and Robert nodded at him.

Letting go, he felt himself going over the edge as his orgasm hit. Robert felt Aaron’s cock inside him as he came and joined him open mouthed, spilling cum over his stomach. He reached out and held Aaron’s wrists as he rode the high.

After pulling out and disposing of the condom, Aaron collapsed beside him on the bed and they kissed for a long time, not able to get enough of each other. They shuffled up and lay side by side, both with their hands resting on their stomachs, looking up at the ceiling. Robert pulled the cover over them to keep off the chill afternoon air.

‘Not as warm as Paris, then, eh?’ Robert laughed, ‘Was it worth the wait?’

He turned his head and spoke softly. ‘I love you, Aaron.’

Aaron turned his head and looked back at him.

‘Well, I’m here now, aren’t I.’ He said.

  They made love all afternoon, until Aaron said if he didn’t get back to his Mum’s soon, people would start a search party.

‘What happens next?’ Robert asked.

‘We give it a week. I’ll come to work. You’ll come to work. Then next weekend we’ll tell them.’

‘Why not now?’

‘Because I just said goodbye to Ed. I can’t do that to him now. I just need to give him a short time alone to adjust. I know that it won’t make any difference. He’s going to be gutted. I feel sick at myself.’

Robert thought about how much distress he would be causing to Dylan. He sighed but the die was cast. He loved Aaron and always would.

Robert drove him to Emmerdale, dropping him in front of the Woolpack and going home to Dylan.

 

‘Why are you up so early?’ Robert asked the next morning, standing up and eating toast and marmalade in the kitchen, drinking a mug of coffee.

‘I’ve got that audition today.’ Dylan put his breakfast stuff in the dishwasher. ‘The one that was cancelled, remember?’ He could see from Robert’s face that Robert had no idea what he was talking about.

‘When my leg was burnt.’ He went on.

Robert nodded but Dylan knew he was far away.

Dylan reached an arm around Robert’s waist and hummed into his throat. ‘You look really nice today. I mean, you always look nice, but today you look extra sexy.’ Robert was wearing a blue shirt and tie and tailored suit trousers, but there was something else. Dylan couldn’t put his finger on it.

‘Well, I have an important meeting today.’

‘So it’s ok if we drive into Leeds together?’

Robert and Aaron had already agreed it would be better to travel separately for a while at least. Until the dust settled.

‘OK.’ Robert said. ‘Do you want to drive the Austin Healey?’

‘You sure?’ Dylan grinned back. Robert hadn’t let Dylan drive his car before.

So they set off early. It was a perfect summer morning with a cloudless blue sky. Robert hesitated, wondering whether to take the top down on the car.

Dylan squinted at him.

‘Maybe we shouldn’t if I’m dancing. I need to keep my body warm.’

 He wore the Saint Lauren Bomber jacket and put a sports bag with his dance clothes in the boot.

Robert settled back in the passenger seat, biting a thumb, smiling and looking out at the countryside as it went past. Dylan put his foot down and Robert looked over at him.

‘Slow down, Dylan. You’re not used to the steering on her. She’s not like your Escort, you know.’ He warned.

It was about ten minutes later when it happened.

When just another day, driving to work became the day when everything changed, never to be the same.

So that later they would both look back with a thousand thoughts starting with the word _if,_ such a small word to carry the weight of all the wishes and dreams lost that day, never to be found.

It happened on a clear stretch of country road, not another car in sight.

The car spinning out of control and careering off the road.

For Robert time slowed to a freeze frame. Looking at Dylan, he could see that his eyes had rolled up, and he realized that somehow he’d fallen unconscious. He grabbed sideways at the wheel, trying to get some control, but the car was already on a trajectory that meant the front wheels dipped suddenly into a ditch and Robert was rocked round in a crazy three hundred and sixty degree spin as the car flipped over from back to front and then landed again so that his body felt as if it was sinking into the hillside and then thrown up again. After that, the car teetered for a moment before tipping sideways and it rolled bucking and twisting down the hillside scattered with outcrops of rock.

When the car finally stopped, right way up, Robert, drunk with the motion and trembling with shock, followed his instinct wanting to get out of the vehicle as fast as he could, but first he quickly looked down at himself, checking to see if he was OK. He could taste sweet liquid in his mouth which he realized must be blood. Blood was also running into his eye.

Then he turned to Dylan and he was seized with panic.

The entire front of the car on the driver’s side had buckled up and the metal and engine had pushed back and upwards. Robert could barely see Dylan’s legs, and he could see metal protruding out from his jeans on the left side of his groin. He couldn’t make sense of what he saw, where the metal had come from, and whether it had gone straight through him. He turned on his phone and called the emergency services, even his voice sounded strange to him. His tongue was thick and it was difficult to speak.

Dylan opened his eyes.

He looked at Robert for a moment then looked around. He was about to look down at himself and Robert grabbed his chin and kept his head up.

Robert was so afraid for him it must have shown in his eyes.

‘Oh my God. Robbie Am I OK?’ He asked. ‘Am I OK?’

Dylan drew in a breath and wailed with fear.

‘Am I going to die? I can’t feel my legs.’

Robert kept his hand on his face keeping his head facing up.

                ‘I don’t want to die!’ Dylan cried. ‘‘Robert? Where are you?’

Robert was right next to him, he took his hand and kept looking into his eyes.    

‘I’m right here! Dylan, Dylan, Look! Here I am.’ Dylan found his eyes and Robert kept his gaze. He could hear Dylan whimpering with fear. ‘Here I am!’ he said gently. ‘Keep looking at me.’

He seemed to become calm for a moment.

‘I love you, Robert.’ It was a whisper.

‘I know. I love you, too, sweetheart.’ Robert swallowed.

‘I’m scared.’

‘Don’t be scared. I’ve got you, Dylan. The ambulance is on its way.’


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath of the accident

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Blood cw

‘Don’t get me wrong, love. Of course I’m glad you’re here. And I know that he was a good mate to you, when you were going through everything with your da… with Gordon. But…‘ 

Chas hesitated.

 ‘Do you really think it’s a good idea working with Robert? I mean, after everything that went on between the two of you?’

Aaron put down his knife and fork, leaving the eggs and bacon his Mum had made for him half eaten, and drumming his fingers on the table.

‘Mum, I’ve only been home twelve hours and you’re already doing my head in.’

‘Well, I jus want to be sure that you and Ed are alright. I don’t want Robert flaming Sugden to start destroying people’s lives again, and especially not yours.’

For a moment he wondered if he should tell her the truth.

But he knew she’d only go off on one, blaming Robert as she always did and, who knows, making a public scene so that Dylan or Ed would find out before either of them had the chance to explain on their own.

There would be no way easy way out of this, they were going to have a rough ride when everybody found out.

He looked at the time and taking a final swig of tea, stood up.

‘I need to get going anyway, first day an’ that. Won’t look good if I’m late. Thanks for the breakfast, and thanks for lending me the car, too, Mum. You sure you’ll manage without it for today?’

‘Course love. You’re more than welcome. But you’ll have to find a long term solution.’

‘I know. Robert said he’d help find me something.’

‘I’m sure you don’t need his help. Why don’t you ask Cain?’

Aaron sighed.

‘Bye Mum.’

‘You’ll be back for your tea?’ She called after him.

‘Don’t think so. Think there was something on after work. I’ll call you.’

And he was gone.

 

Aaron closed his eyes and sighed, drumming against the steering wheel. He leaned back in his seat, blowing air from his cheeks, his elbow resting on the open window.

He looked at the time yet again. He couldn’t believe that he was going to be late on his very first day. He wondered what Robert would say. Most likely he’d be anxious, wondering if Aaron had had second thoughts.

Of course he’d had second thoughts, third thoughts even a thousandth thoughts and questions about whether he was doing the right thing. And while he tried not to be affected by his Mum, deep down he knew there was truth in her words. He wouldn’t even be here now without Robert’s scheming. It was what Robert did, scheme and manipulate to serve his own selfish ends.

 But Aaron loved him, even if he wasn’t ready to tell him to his face, and he knew he would never be happy apart from him. He couldn’t fight it anymore.

The traffic was almost at a complete halt. It had taken nearly half an hour to crawl a couple of miles. If it didn’t start moving soon he’d drop a text to Robert.

Leaning his head half out of the window he could just make out a police car and an ambulance and what looked like a fire engine up ahead.

He grimaced. Must have been a nasty accident. Aaron bit his lip, his thoughts drifting to Jackson.

There was a police man in hi vis controlling the traffic as they neared the scene. Aaron glanced sideways, looked like a vehicle had gone off the road, out of sight down the hill. The police man waved him through and he changed gear at last, picking up speed.

He allowed himself a smile, knowing he’d be seeing Robert very soon.

 

Soon after the emergency services had arrived Dylan had lost consciousness. They’d cut him out of the wreckage then put him in a neck brace and straight onto a stretcher covering him with a reflective blanket.

They hadn’t removed the metal fragment from his groin, the doctor explaining they would need to remove it in surgery.

They’d kept Robert away from the scene. He’d watched from a distance clenching and unclenching his fists while another paramedic, who introduced herself as Rosie, checked him over.

 ‘Is he family or a friend?’  She asked kindly.

‘Boyfriend’ Robert answered.

‘Everybody’s doing all they can for him.’ She added.

She looked in his mouth.

‘Alright, love, you have a laceration on your tongue and it looks like it’ll need a couple of stitches when we get to hospital.’

 She put a wad of cotton gauze to stem the bleeding.

Once in the ambulance, they put Dylan on a drip and asked Robert more questions.

‘Has he drunk any alcohol, or taken any recreational drugs in the past twenty four hours.’

‘No. He’s a good kid. He’s a dancer. He’s at college. He’s got an audition today for a dance school.

Rosie nodded, looking wistfully at Dylan’s lower body under the blanket.

‘And he doesn’t have any health conditions? He’s not taking any prescribed medication?’

‘No. Is he going to be alright?’ Robert asked suddenly.

‘We’ll do all we can for him.'

 

At the hospital they took Dylan straight into surgery. The police asked Robert about what had happened.

‘So Mr Fisher was driving the vehicle. And you say he’d just passed his licence?’

‘Yes, um just two, three weeks ago.’

‘And he wasn’t speeding or anything.’

Robert frowned. ‘No, I told you.’ He closed his eyes and looked down. ‘He was unconscious when the car went off the road.’

‘Did he hit his head when the car went out of control?’

‘No, I mean before the car went out of control, he was unconscious.’

The policewoman creased her brows.

‘So does he have epilepsy or something? Has this happened before?’

Robert thought back. He thought about the time when Dylan had blacked out in the shower, after sex. He’d put it down to exhaustion. He thought about when he’d caught Dylan with the steroids.

‘No.’ he said.

 

A nurse came. ‘Mr Sugden? The doctor will see you now. Can you follow me?’

The doctor asked Robert to take off his shirt. She touched Robert’s curved scar on his chest that followed the line of his rib round the side of his body.

‘You had pretty major surgery recently. Was that here?’ she asked.

Robert nodded.

‘Any pain in the ribs? Let’s just book you an x ray to be sure.’ She asked Robert to turn round and ran a hand down over Robert’s spinal column and rotated his neck asking about pain or discomfort.

She looked at the cut on his head and said a nurse would put in a stitch.

Finally she put the sutures in Robert’s tongue, first a painful injection into the tongue muscle.

‘Do you have someone with you?’ She asked.

Robert shook his head.

After, he couldn’t speak. He sent a text to work and one to Victoria. His fingers hovered over Aaron’s name. Then he leaned his head back against the wall and waited.

 

Dylan’s mother and father arrived and were shown into the family waiting room with Robert.

They had so many questions for Robert, but he couldn’t answer. He used his phone to write an explanation. In a way it was a relief, but he couldn’t wait there with them, watching their faces as they waited for news.

He stepped out of the room, and there was Aaron walking towards him.

One look was enough and they were in each other’s arms. Aaron pulled Robert in close, his hands against his shoulder blades.

‘You’re alright, then.’ He breathed, still holding on.

Robert nodded, but opened his mouth to show Aaron the stitches around his tongue.

‘I can’t speak.’ He tried to say the words, sounding weird.

Aaron nodded. Robert rested his chin on Aaron’s shoulder, leaning his face against his head.

‘I saw it. I saw the fire engine. When I was coming to Leeds, when they said you’d been in an accident, all I could think about…’ Aaron left the sentence unfinished.

He leaned back and looked into Robert’s eyes.

‘Is it Dylan?’

Robert nodded. Aaron saw the tears in Robert’s eyes.

‘So… Is he OK?’ He whispered.

‘Surgery.’ Robert managed to say shaking his head from side to side.

Aaron put his hands up to Robert cheeks so that Victoria, arriving at that moment was shocked to see them, to see this private intimate exchange.

She rushed forward.

‘Rob’ She cried ‘Are you alright? Oh my God.’

Aaron released him and Victoria pushed her arms around his waist pulling him into an embrace and he folded his arms around her. She looked up at him as he looked back at her tenderly, stroking a hand over her hair.

‘What happened?’

‘He can’t speak. He’s got stitches in his tongue.’ Aaron said quietly. To illustrate the point Robert stuck his tongue out at her.

Victoria, still in her brother’s arms, looked from one of them to the other.

‘So, what are you doing here?’ She asked Aaron. He of course blushed. ‘I thought you were in France and where’s Ed?’

Aaron explained he’d taken a job with Robert’s business, that he’d heard about the accident when he arrived at work and he’d come to see if he could help, as a mate.

‘Looked like more than mates to me.’ Vic stated, speaking directly as always, looking from one to another. Aaron looked down and said nothing.

 

The waiting was intolerable. Diane came and was also surprised to see Aaron.

 ‘Does Chas know you’re here, pet?’ She asked.

‘Well she knows I started work. I stayed at the Woolpack last night and she made me my breakfast.’ Diane sat with an arm around Dylan’s Mum for a while.

It was Victoria who had introduced them to Aaron as Robert’s mate. Dylan’s Dad spoke to him.

‘So you know our Dylan, too?’

‘Not well, I’ve been living in France.’ Aaron answered.

‘He’s a dancer. Very talented they say.’ His dad explained.

‘Yeah. Robert told me and I saw the article in the Evening Post.’

Dylan’s parents smiled.

Robert stood up and walked out of the room. He couldn’t listen to this.

 

After a couple of hours the anaesthetic on Robert’s tongue was wearing off. His mouth felt like a pool of lava making his head pound with the pain. Diane had left, but Victoria waited with them.

‘You can go if you like.’ She said to Aaron who had taken his jacket off and loosened his tie and sat leaning back against the waiting chair, silently watching Robert, wishing he could do something more to help.

‘I’m not going anywhere.’ He answered quietly. She nodded back raising her eyebrows to herself.

A sickly tiredness had descended on them all. Victoria bought toasted muffins which nobody ate but her, and a milk shake with a straw for Robert, which he ignored.

Then a doctor in a surgical operator’s gown and hat came in and they all stood up.

It was Fred.

He acknowledged Robert with a hand on his arm, before turning to Dylan’s Mum and Dad.

‘Is he going to be alright?’ Dylan’s Dad asked.

‘Well the surgery is still proceeding. He’s in a critical condition, Mr Fisher but we’re doing what we can.’

He asked them to sit down.

‘He has a lot of damage to his legs. His umm, left leg… has an open fracture to the tibia and fibula,’

He showed the calf of his leg to illustrate what he was talking about.

‘But his right leg is more complex, he has an open fracture of his femur, that’s the thigh bone, but then below that he has multiple crush injuries not just to the bones, he’s also lost soft tissue below the knee and there’s some vascular damage which means he may start to lose some blood flow to his foot.’

 He paused.

‘This isn’t easy to say. But we think, bearing in mind his quality of life after this, a good decision for Dylan now would be to amputate the leg.’

Robert jumped to his feet pressing his hands against his forehead.

‘No! No! You may as well shoot him and have done with it. He would rather die.’

Fred frowned up at him.

‘With a prosthetic limb he’ll be able to walk and lead a normal life.’

‘He doesn’t do normal life. His life is dance, Fred. You know him, you’ve seen him yourself. He doesn’t know how to stand still.’

Fred looked up at him, shaking his head.

‘He’s not going to dance again, Robert, whatever we decide.’

He looked back at Dylan’s parents who looked confused.

‘Do you know our son?’ Dylan’s father asked the doctor.

‘Only as an acquaintance, socially.’ He answered frowning at Robert.

Robert spoke again, more harshly. He felt frustrated that he couldn’t speak clearly with his tongue being so painful, but he spoke anyway.

‘Put him on private care. I’ll pay whatever. What’s the alternative, doctor? Give us all the information, not just what makes your job easy. You don’t do foreplay so give it to us direct then.’  Aaron stood up and put a hand gently on Robert’s arm, looking at him, cautioning restraint. Vic also looked at him, wide eyed.

Fred shook his head back at Robert.

‘He’ll need multiple surgeries, perhaps over a period of years. He’ll suffer terrible pain both physical and emotional. He’ll end up with a partially functioning limb and need a walking aide and he may end up with no choice but amputation at the end of it.’ He hesitated.  ‘Of course, there are exceptions.’

Robert looked back at him intently, then turned to Dylan’s Mum and Dad.

‘Dylan will be an exception then. Don’t agree to this! I’m begging you.’

‘Why don’t you talk about it and I’ll come back in an hour.’

 

Aaron drove Robert back to Emmerdale, over the countryside through the dark without speaking. As they approached the site of the accident, Robert’s hands started to tremble. Aaron reached out and took his hand and held it firmly.

He parked outside Robert’s cottage.

There was no conversation, no question that he would go anywhere other than with Robert that night.

When they got in, Robert switched on the light and sat heavily on the sofa.

Pressing a hand against his face, he sat mutely. Aaron sat beside him, with a hand on his shoulders. They stayed like that for a long time, until Robert spoke, holding his curved fist against his forehead.

‘Why did I let him drive, Aaron? This is me, this is my fault.’ Robert’s voice still sounded strange after the stitches in his tongue.

Aaron shook his head.

‘This isn’t your fault.’

‘Is it so terrible?’ Robert whispered looking at Aaron’s face ‘I almost wish he’d died, because he would rather be dead than live like a cripple.’

Aaron held Robert tight with his arm around his shoulder.

‘You don’t know what’s going to happen, Robert. I think you should sleep now.’

‘Don’t leave me, Aaron.’

‘I’m not leaving you, mate.’

Aaron took Robert up to bed. He made sure that Robert took the pain medication he’d been prescribed at the hospital, swallowed down with a glass of water.

They stripped to their boxers and climbed between the sheets. Aaron could smell what must be Dylan’s boyish smell on the bed linen. He felt a complicated mixture of emotions. He was ashamed to be jealous, but he was, here now, recognizing that Robert shared his bed and his body with this young boy, remembering watching the kiss in Victoria’s garden, how intimate the touches were between them, thinking about Robert’s hands on Dylan’s body, hands that should only be for him.

But now the poor kid was lying in hospital, his life destroyed and he was sorry. He was sorry for anyone having to go through what he’d been through himself with Jackson. He so didn’t want Robert to suffer like that.

Lying on their backs, shoulders pressed together he could hear Robert’s breathing change as, helped by the painkillers, he quickly succumbed to sleep. Aaron soon followed, worrying about Ed. He needed to call him tomorrow. He’d called him once and then seen missed calls and messages but the time just hadn’t been right.

In the early morning, while it was still dark, Robert woke and reached for Aaron.

Their bodies were warm and sticky against each other. They pulled off their boxers hurriedly and pressed close together.

‘I can’t kiss you.’ Robert murmured thickly.

‘I know.’ Aaron said.

 Aaron nestled his beard and lips against Robert’s throat and pushed his body sideways so he was also lying on his side behind him. He leaned back, fumbling at the bedside table, looking for a condom and lube until Robert, noticing, reached to the table at his own side of the bed and passed him what he needed.

Aaron pushed Robert’s thigh forward to get access to his hole and using his middle finger he spread lube over his rim, caressing him, so that Robert groaned and reached a hand back to stroke Aaron’s thigh, feeling the soft hairs on his legs, so masculine. Robert’s thick cock moved against the sheet in response.

Aaron pushed his middle finger up inside Robert’s hole, using a circular motion to massage against Robert’s magic spot.

‘Aaron. Fuck.’ Robert moaned.

Aaron kissed his neck again, his beard scraping against his skin. He knew he could make Robert come like that, but instead, using two fingers between the tight muscles, he moved to open him up more.

He leaned back and rolled on the condom. Robert turned to watch him in the semi darkness.

Aaron patted his hip to turn back and pushing his thigh further out of the way, he pushed in, his sheathed cock head gliding into the tight space. They both moaned together at the sensation.

Aaron pushed up higher inside Robert, holding onto his shoulders, listening as Robert cried out. He started to thrust rhythmically.

At one stage he reached forward and took Robert’s long, thick cock firmly in his fist, working him and feeling him grow even harder with his strokes.

Then he started to move again. Screwing his eyes closed tightly he lost himself in the feeling, hearing his own loud moans join with Robert’s until he was shooting inside him, listening to Robert’s cries as he came spraying onto the bed sheets.

After they lay quietly for a long time.

Aaron bit his lips.

Finally he spoke.

‘So we put everything on hold for now.’

Robert nodded. He turned to look at Aaron in the dark.

‘It’s too early to know what’s going to happen.’

‘I know.’

‘You should start work. The rest of the staff will wonder. And I’ve got a Bugatti that needs your attention.’

‘I know.’ He said again.

‘I still love you, Aaron, nothing has changed that. Nothing ever will.’

‘I know that, too.’ He paused. ‘But you have to think about the lad for now. He needs you at the moment.’

 

In the morning, Aaron went back to the Woolpack for a change of clothes.

‘Where were you, love? Please don’t tell me you were with Robert.’

‘What so, you expect me just to ignore him now? When he was there for me, by my side, all through everything that happened to me? Mum, he’s in bits.’

Chas frowned. She’d heard about the accident, of course, everybody had by now. Diane had told her that Aaron had been at the hospital, too.

‘I just don’t get what it is to you? Is that poor boy going to pull through? Sorry love, but just another life destroyed by Robert Sugden.’

Aaron couldn’t listen to his Mum. He walked quickly away.

‘Where are you going now?’

‘I’m going to work. I came here because I had a job to do.’

 

Finn met Victoria in the café.

‘It’s so long since we had a chat, dear.’ She said to him. ‘How’s life?’

‘Oh you know, same as ever. My love life if non-existent and I’m fettered to a job where I make beds for a living. What’s not to love about that?’

‘Well it could be worse. I spent yesterday at the hospital with Robert.’

‘Oh my God. Of course. I’m so sorry. And how is Dylan?’ Finn asked with genuine concern.

‘Well, it’s not clear if he’ll ever walk again as far as I could tell.’

‘Poor Dylan. He’s such a sweet lad.’

‘I didn’t know you knew him?’

‘I went out with him clubbing a few weeks back and we sort of struck up a friendship.’

‘Well I hope Robert doesn’t know or you’ll be in trouble.’

‘Not that sort of friendship, Vic. Anyway, you’re brother isn’t entirely playing by the rules himself if you ask me.’

‘How’s that then?’

‘Umm, well according to Dylan, he’d been having an affair with Aaron.’

Victoria opened her eyes wide.

‘He’s probably just being paranoid.’

‘No, apparently, Robert confessed to sleeping with Aaron to his face.’

Victoria thought about Aaron and Robert in the hospital. If she had to trust her instincts she’d say it was true.

She sighed.

‘Oh well. Aaron’s getting married to Ed isn’t he, so if there had been something going on, I’m sure it’s over now.’ She lied.

She decided she’d talk to them later, but meanwhile she didn’t want any rumours circulating, especially not now. She knew how easy it was for people to paint Robert as a villain.

 

At work, Aaron called Ed.

‘Hey, Aaron. I miss you, mon cheri, I miss you every moment.’

‘Yeah. Me too. What are you doing?’

‘Alright, just started packing boxes. I met with the relocation agency. But Aaron, tell me about Dylan. What’s happening? Is he going to be OK? And Robert? I can’t even imagine what they must be going through.’

Aaron struggled and failed to control his tears.

‘It’s all such a mess. I wish I hadn’t come.’ He sobbed.

‘Come back to me.’ Ed said. ‘You don’t have to stay there.’

Aaron swallowed his tears and shook his head,

‘Robert needs… a friend right now.’

‘Yes but, you two are not so close.’

Aaron hesitated. The temptation to say something making his heart suddenly pound.

‘Well, he’s not close to people as a rule. He keeps himself to himself.’

 

Robert waited in the hospital with Dylan’s Mum and Dad.

The nurse came to call them.

‘We’re waking him up. Would you like to come and see him?’

Dylan had just come round. He saw his Mum and Dad and they greeted him with soft voices and looks. His Mum stroked his hair and then stepped back, tears in her eyes.

Dylan looked for Robert. When he saw him he reached out his fingers.

Robert took them gently, caressing them as he thread them through his own.

‘Hello, sweet lad.’ He whispered.

‘I thought I was dying. I’m so happy to be alive.’

‘I know. You were such a drama queen.’

‘Sorry about your car.’ Dylan said.

Robert rolled his eyes and kissed his hand.

‘My legs?’ Dylan asked.

Robert looked down over Dylan’s body. He swallowed.

‘You have amazing legs, reinforced with titanium rods and plates. You’re a real life super hero, Dylan. You know what a nerd I am. Wait till I get you home. ’ He smiled.

Dylan smiled back at him. Then closed his eyes again.

Robert surveyed Dylan’s legs, out of sight from Dylan currently with a covered frame over his hips. He could see the drains, cages and pins, cling film on raw flesh stripped of skin. He wondered when reality would kick in. He knew the current level of morphine was enough to make anyone happy to be alive.

Dylan’s Dad looked at Robert.

‘I hope we did the right thing.’

‘We did the right thing.’ Robert answered. ‘I know it.’

.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Robert try to adjust to an uncertain future while Dylan is treated in hospital.

‘How is he?’  

Aaron turned from where he was looking out of the window at the street below and scrutinized Robert’s face.

Robert had just arrived from the hospital. He had dark rings around his eyes and the faintest shadow above his lips, indicating that he needed to shave. He ran a hand through his hair.

‘Not good. He’s in a lot of pain.’

Aaron nodded. What could he say? Nothing he could say would change the reality. He knew that Dylan was coming round from the third operation on his leg, and that with each visit to surgery he was suffering more. He knew that Robert was with him every day and feeling more and more helpless and frustrated.

Robert spread his arms.

‘He hates being in hospital. Maybe he’ll start to feel better when he comes home… when he’s out.’

Aaron heard the word _home_. He frowned.

He turned back to look out from the window of the empty apartment once again. He was looking for a place for him and Ed. He’d asked Robert to come and take a look, give him a second opinion before he made a decision. Robert had that thing about him, making you trust his opinion.

It was raining outside in spite of the season, in spite of summer, heavy drops of rain that splashed in the dust on the pavement below. People walked with umbrellas making their way home after the working day.

‘So? What do you think?’

 ‘It’s nice. It’s light and it’s a good size. Are you going to take it?’

Aaron looked around at the place again and tried to imagine it furnished. Would Ed like it? Probably.

‘I’m running out of time. I think it’s OK.’

Ed would be there in less than two weeks. The thought of it had Aaron spinning between feelings of relief and feelings of panic.

‘Let’s grab a take away then.’ Robert moved closer. He placed his arms around Aaron’s waist from behind and pressed his lips against Aaron’s neck. ‘We can eat at Clive’s when we get there.’

Aaron nodded, his body immediately responding to Robert’s caresses, as it always did, as it always would.

‘Give me a minute will you. I need to call Ed.’

Robert stepped back, looking down.

‘Sure.’ He said lightly.

 

Robert had held Dylan’s hand as he came round from surgery.

This time they had operated on his knee. Fred wanted him to be able to bend his leg. He’d said it was crucial if Dylan was going to walk again.

Confused from the anaesthetic, Dylan looked at the drip and asked Robert what it was for.

‘It’s giving your body energy. It’ll help you feel strong.’

‘Then it’s not working, cos I don’t feel strong.’

Robert looked at Dylan’s eyes that were so full of shock and pain.

He stroked his hair, pushing it back from his forehead.

‘You will! You will, I promise. I’ve done this. I know what it’s like, remember?’

 ‘When am I going to get better?’

‘It’ll take a while, Dylan.’ Robert answered him. ‘Just take it one day at a time. You’re always in such a rush.’ He smiled, trying to tease Dylan, alluding to their sex life. ‘I’m always telling you to slow down, eh? Remember, the longer you wait, the better the result.’

Robert was still there when Fred came to see him.

‘How’s my favourite patient?’ Fred asked, pulling up a chair next to Dylan who turned his face and looked expectantly into his eyes.

‘So it went well, the surgery?’ Robert asked.

Fred’s eyes flickered across the bed to Robert then back to Dylan.

‘Yes. I think it went well.’

He paused, watching the smile break suddenly on Dylan’s face and sighed.

 ‘Dylan your left leg is healing. You have plates to hold the fracture together. It’ll almost certainly heal completely and perhaps a few years from now we’ll be even be able to remove the plates altogether.’

Dylan looked startled at the word years, his smile fading.

Fred shook his head but went on.

‘But you’re not going to get back the full use of your right leg. We’ll work now with a physiotherapist on bending that knee and we’ll have to wait and see, but your lower leg was too extremely damaged for us to repair it completely back to normal. We can keep going with the surgery if that’s what you want. Ultimately I want you to be able to walk unaided.’

Robert felt his heart race as he saw Dylan blinking trying to process what the doctor was telling him.

‘So how long till I can dance again?’

Robert closed his eyes.

‘Dylan you’ll need a support to walk.’  Fred repeated ‘There are alternatives. We could think about an artificial limb and that would give you more mobility in the long run.’

‘So how can I dance?’ Dylan asked, bewildered, his eyes moved from Fred to Robert and back again.

Robert walked out of the room.

‘I can’t do this.’

 

After that a light seemed to go out in Dylan’s face.

When Robert talked about going home, he hardly paid attention.

‘So what do you want to do? Your Mum wants you to go home to their house, but if you want to come home to me, you know that’s fine, too.’

Dylan didn’t seem to be listening.

‘You need to decide. What do you want, Dylan, love?’

Dylan looked directly at Robert for a change.

‘I want everything to go back to how it was before. I want to be able to dance.’ He turned his face away on the pillow.

Robert listened to him cry.

He wanted to fix this for Dylan, but he was helpless. There was no fixing this.

 

At Clive’s, Aaron undid the buttons on Robert’s shirt. He let his lips trace over his shoulders as he pulled it off him, one arm at a time.

Clive’s apartment had become their regular hideaway. It helped that it was near the hospital and near Robert’s car show room too.

It was risky for them to stay together in Emmerdale, too many people could see them and tongues could all too easily start wagging. Clive’s was a private oasis.

 Sometimes they met midday. Robert would come from the hospital and Aaron would make an excuse at work, say he was shopping for spare parts. A couple of times they had stayed the night and Aaron had told Chas he was out of town, buying cars.

Now, he’d run them a hot bath. The steam in the bathroom formed droplets on their faces. They finished undressing and stood facing each other.

Robert placed his hand on Aaron’s chest and ran it down onto his stomach.

‘You are so beautiful.’ He whispered.

He kissed him hungrily, circling his tongue.

He let his fingers play over Aaron’s balls and then moved his hand up his shaft using his fingers and thumb to pull against his thick cock.

‘Aaron, Aaron!’ He groaned.

He went down on his knees and steered Aaron’s cock into his mouth, letting his tongue feel the shape of it, tasting him. Humming from his throat, he moved a hand down to fist himself. With his other hand he gripped at Aaron’s arse cheeks while he moved his mouth so that Aaron’s cock slid in and out between his lips.

Aaron’s fingers caressed his hair and his cock grew even more, pushing against Robert’s throat. He gripped tightly against Robert’s head.

‘Fuck! Fuuuucckk! Robeeert!’

As Robert swallowed down Aaron's cum, he came over his fist. He stood up slowly and kissed Aaron again so that Aaron tasted himself on Robert’s tongue, then hugged him tightly.

‘I love you, Aaron.’ He murmured.

After, they lay in the hot water together. Robert pressed his face into the crook of Aaron’s throat. Aaron held him with an arm around his shoulder, listening to his breathing change and drifting in the steamy hot water.

When he woke the water was tepid and Robert’s body felt cool and heavy against his skin.

‘Hey! Robert, wake up.’ He kissed his nose and mouth. ‘We need to get back. My Mum will be wondering where I’ve got to.’

 

The next morning Finn ran into Robert in the café, buying coffee.

‘Hi. How’s Dylan getting on then? Is he recovering?’

Robert searched Finn’s face.

‘Honestly Finn, I don’t know. He may never recover’ He answered and registered the concern on Finn’s face.

He hesitated, then spoke again.

‘Listen, would you think about visiting him? I… I know he likes you.’

Finn found himself blushing suddenly. Robert noticed but said nothing.

‘He needs to come home soon. It may help with the transition if he sees some visitors first. Ward 37.’

 

Aaron and Chas got to work furnishing the apartment in preparation for Ed's arrival. They bought curtain material and had curtains made.

Chas helped him pick out furniture. She insisted on paying a big contribution towards the cost.

‘Mum, you can’t do that.’

‘No, love, let me. Think of it as an early wedding present.’

Aaron nodded, not knowing what to say.

Robert turned the downstairs study in the cottage into a bedroom.

He got the builders in and they started work on converting the downstairs toilet into a bigger bathroom. He had them put in rails around the shower and the bath and next to the toilet so that Dylan could pull himself up and down using the strength of his arms and he had the builder change the width of the doors so that Dylan could negotiate with a walking frame for as long as he needed.

 

Finn was just leaving the ward when Robert arrived at the hospital.

‘You came! Thanks Finn. I really appreciate it.’

‘Yeah, well. I hope I did the right thing. He seems a bit emotional, not surprisingly I suppose in the circumstances.‘

Robert nodded, acknowledging Finn’s words.

‘The physiotherapist was there too, trying to get him to walk. It’s obviously really painful for him. I don’t know, Robert. How did the accident happen anyway? Was he driving too fast? There was no other car involved as far as I understood.’

‘No,’ Robert thought back. He’d gone over and over this in his head. ‘He seemed to just black out, while he was driving, I noticed when the car swerved, but I was too late to take control of the steering.’

Finn narrowed his eyes.

‘That’s like when he spilled the coffee. He just fainted away.’

Robert frowned. He thought about the steroids.

When he walked into Dylan’s room, he was sitting, leaning forward on the side of the bed, holding onto the walking frame in front of him.

Robert couldn’t fail to notice that his cheeks were streaked with tear stains.

‘So you had Finn here, I see. That’s nice.’

Dylan rolled his eyes.

‘Did you kiss him?’

‘Fuck off, Robbie.’

Robert grinned, appreciating the spirited reply.

‘Come on then, show me how you walk with that thing.’ He said.

 

Robert bumped into Chas and Aaron in the bedroom section of the furniture store.

‘What are you doing here?’ Chas asked Robert sharply.

‘It's allowed isn't it? There isn't a restraining order about me and furniture shops, is there? I need to buy a new bed for Dylan.’ He looked at Aaron’s face as he spoke. ‘It has to be low level, so he can turn and put his feet on the floor easily.’

‘Poor kid.’ Chas muttered, raising her eyebrows. ‘Is he supposed to be grateful?’

‘WH..what?’ Robert pulled in his chin.

‘Just saying.’ Chas shrugged. ‘Why was he driving that sports car of yours anyway? Just you, back to your old tricks, was it?’

‘Mum.’ Aaron interrupted her.

Robert put his hands in his pockets and looked away.

‘We’re just getting stuff for the new flat.’ Aaron said changing the subject.

 ‘Of course.’ Robert’s voice was low. He licked his lips. They were buying a bed too, a bed for Aaron and Ed. The thought made him dizzy. He hadn't really considered that this time he'd had with Aaron would change.

‘Happy shopping then.’

 

That evening, Aaron went round to Robert’s cottage.

‘Listen, sorry about me Mum today, you know what she’s like.’

‘She thinks it’s my fault.’ Robert said. ’Maybe she’s right.’ He thought again about the steroids, perhaps he should have been more vigilant.

‘It’s not your fault.’ Aaron answered.

Robert showed Aaron the room he’d prepared for Dylan. He’d opened the French windows from the bedroom onto the back garden to let air in.

‘Do you think it’s OK? Did I forget something?’

Aaron looked at the room with the new double bed, a flat screen TV with play station. It looked smart and comfortable at the same time. He closed his eyes, thinking that Robert would share the bed with Dylan again, angry with himself for minding at all.

‘No. It looks right. Just remember whatever you do, it may be difficult at first. You know getting used to the change, for Dylan.’

Robert nodded. He knew Aaron had been through this himself with Jackson.

‘They’ve put him on anti-depressants.’

‘And what about you?’

Robert put a hand against Aaron’s face.

‘You’re my drug.’ He smiled suddenly.

 Come upstairs.’ He whispered.

‘Ed’s waiting for me to call.’

 ‘I don’t care. Call him later.’

Upstairs in the bedroom, Robert pulled down Aaron’s trousers and turned him round, pressing him up against the wall. He moaned as he fingered him, then, spreading lube with his finger against his rim, he pushed inside and stood waiting for Aaron to adjust to him filling him, feeling the tight space around his cock.

He pressed his lips against Aaron’s throat.

Aaron felt him suck and pulled his neck away sharply.

‘What are you doing?’ He hissed, looking back over his shoulder. ‘Ed’ll see, he’s arriving tomorrow, you know.’

‘I don’t care. I want you so much, Aaron.’

Robert started to slide in and out with deep thrusts, feeling Aaron tight hole against his cock.

‘I want you to be mine.’

Later, on the bed, Aaron sat back on his knees, holding onto Robert’s thighs, looking at his towering cock and at his hole, glistening with lube that he’d just rubbed onto him and into him with his fingers.

Robert watched Aaron’s face from under lowered eyelids, nervously. He saw the tears shining in Aaron's blue eyes. He guessed what Aaron was thinking and he suddenly felt sick. He knew that with Ed coming to England, Aaron was questioning everything again.

‘No, Aaron.’ He shook his head.

‘I can’t go back to sneaking around.’ Aaron burst out, the tears spilling over, rushing down his cheeks.

‘We’ll work something out.’

‘How?’

‘We just will.’

Aaron moved closer and lining up, started to push inside, pulling Robert’s thighs up until his legs rested against his shoulders.

They took their time. As Aaron thrust inside in a rhythm, he leaned down and moved his mouth over Robert’s jaw and throat and collar bone, letting his lips stroke over his skin then moving back up to Robert’s mouth, circling his tongue with his own. He loved the taste of him.

 He could see the sweat breaking on Robert’s forehead and listened to him moan.

‘This has to be the last time.’ He whispered, panting.

‘No, Aaron.’ Robert gasped back. ‘You love me. You love me, even if you won’t say it.’

Aaron thrust harder.

Robert moaned louder in response.

‘Say it now. Tell me.’

Aaron thrust faster, going deeper, listening to Robert.

‘OK.’ He groaned. He was right on the edge, about to go over. ‘Are you ready?’

Robert eyes darkened and his mouth opened, Aaron knew the moment his orgasm hit.

He joined him, calling out as he fell.

‘I love you, I love you, Robert. Really, I do.’

 

It was around one in the morning when Aaron left and made his way down the road back to the Woolpack.

He sighed when he saw some lights were still on. His Mum must have waited up for him. Why did she do that?

He glanced at his phone and noticed a number of missed calls from her.

He put his key in the back entrance to let himself in. Before he’d opened it himself, the door swung open and, there she was, arms folded.

‘Where’ve you been?’ She hissed. ‘I hope not with Robert! Ed’s here. He came early to make a surprise. He’s here.’

Aaron’s heart thundered. He hadn’t even showered, thinking he could do that at home.

And suddenly there was Ed, in front of him, arms outstretched.

They hugged tight, Aaron’s heart still racing, hoping he didn’t smell of Robert, even though he knew he must.

‘Surprised to see me, mon cheri?’ Ed grinned. ‘I came early.’

He leaned his mouth for a kiss. Aaron kept it short and chaste, holding his breath, feigning embarrassment in front of his Mum.

‘Where were you?’ Ed went on with a smile. ‘Drinking with Adam?’

‘Yeah. Something like that.’ Aaron smiled softly.

There were lots of bags in the hallway.

‘I can’t believe you’re here!’ Aaron said. He turned to his Mum. ‘Can I have a cup of coffee? A sandwich would be grand. I’ll just go to the little boy’s room.’ He patted Ed's shoulder. 'Sit down. I'll be right back.'

Aaron rushed upstairs and tried to clean up quickly.

They sat up chatting while he ate a sandwich and then went up to bed.

In Aaron's bedroom, they sat on the side of the bed in the lamplight, shoulder to shoulder.

‘So, here we are.’ Ed said quietly, smiling. ‘Did you miss me?’

Aaron nodded and smiled back, his eyes flickering to the window, where down the road, Robert was sleeping in the bed where he'd left him.

‘Wait.’ Ed fished in his pocket and pulled something out. ‘I found this when I was packing.’

When he opened his hand Aaron could see it was the necklace with the tree of life that Ed had bought for him by the river Seine in Paris.

‘You never wore it that much. I want you to wear it now. Will you do that for me?’

Aaron nodded. How could he explain? He wasn’t that person, but he didn’t want to disappoint Ed.

Ed unfastened it.

‘Turn around then.’

He started to tie it on and then all at once he paused. Aaron heard him draw in his breath. Suddenly he remembered Robert’s mouth on his throat earlier, he put up a hand instinctively to the place.

‘What is it?’ Ed asked, his voice suddenly sharp. ‘What’s the mark?’

Aaron turned. ‘I’m, I’m sorry. I need to tell you something.’ He said.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Dylan get used to their new dynamic. Aaron and Ed try to work out their issues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to the amazing @ryanhawleyandishouldbone

Do you want to make love?’

 Robert spoke softly, smiling into Dylan’s eyes. Dylan looked back at him, his eyes dull. He shook his head almost imperceptibly. Robert frowned.

They were sitting on the sofa together. They’d had dinner and then they’d watched a serial drama on TV. When a preview for Strictly’s new season had come on the screen, Robert had found the remote and casually switched it off. 

Now he stroked down Dylan’s body to his waist, slipping a hand under the material of his T-shirt, moving it across his stomach to his belly button.

‘Come on, Dylan. Make love with me.’

Robert watched a single tear roll down Dylan’s cheek as he squeezed his lips together and shook his head more forcefully.

‘No more tears, Dylan. It’s time to stop feeling sorry for yourself.’

 He sat up and switched the TV back on, throwing the remote to Dylan who caught it single handed, earning a nod from Robert.

‘I’m going to get a beer.’

He came back with a four pack. Dylan shuffled himself further up to a seated position, his legs stretched out awkwardly in front of him. His right leg was still caged with pins going into the bones over his knee and his calf and ankle. He wore shorts and a plain T-shirt. There was a blanket on the sofa if he needed it to keep away the chill.

Robert opened a beer and handed it to him, then he opened one for himself.

‘I’m not supposed to drink beer.’

‘Stop worrying about what you’re not supposed to do.’

He took the remote back from Dylan’s hands and switched on Man X.

‘You want to watch some porn? Bet you watch it when I’m not home.’ Robert teased, knowing it wasn’t true, that in the past they’d always been too busy doing it to waste time watching it.

On the screen they saw three men having sex, one in the middle getting a mouth job from the front and anal penetration from behind.

Dylan glanced nervously at Robert, who stretched his eyes wide open, feigning shock.

Robert picked up his phone.

‘I’ll just be a minute. I need to take a missed call.’ He lied.

He left the room taking his beer with him.

He put the phone to ear and pretended to talk, meanwhile watching Dylan from the door. He saw his hand slide down to his shorts. A new scenario started, a buff naked lad, legs spread, jerking himself off on a sun bed on a beach somewhere.

Robert came back and saw Dylan quickly remove his hand. But he could see the outline of his hard on through his shorts. He sat down, leaning his body against Dylan’s. He knew this was about confidence.

‘Do you like him, then? Is he sexy? Sexier than me?’

He moved his face close, then started to kiss Dylan, pushing open his mouth with his tongue while at the same time he put his hand under Dylan’s T-shirt again, moving down to the waistband of his shorts.

‘Robbie.’  Dylan held his arm and leaned his face away. ‘I don’t want to.’

Robert moved his hand away and rested his head back against the sofa.

‘OK.’

He switched off the TV.

‘Anyway, no doubt you’re getting it somewhere else.’ Dylan went on.

Robert blinked.

‘WH… what?’

‘Well you did before, so why not now, when you can have your pick of lads who aren’t crippled?’

Robert shook his head.

‘You’re crippled in your head.’ He flung back. ‘The sooner you start to understand that, the sooner you can start to get better.’

‘Fuck off, Robbie. You don’t need a degree in psychology to diagnose me.’ He gestured to his body.

Dylan leaned over and pulled the walking frame round from the side of the sofa until it was in front of him. He pulled himself up.

‘I’m going to bed.’ He said.

Robert watched him go. He turned Man X back on, thought of Aaron and turned it off again.

 

When Robert eventually went to bed, Dylan was already sleeping.

He lay on his back, with an arm under his head looking up in the darkness. Some nights Dylan would wake, calling out in fear or pain and Robert would hold him and soothe him until he slept. He could still remember his own nightmares after being shot.

Dylan was wrong. Robert wasn’t getting it elsewhere. Aaron had called him the day after Ed had arrived. He’d asked for an extended holiday from his job at Robert’s car sales company.

‘What are you playing at Aaron?’ Robert had asked him down the phone.

‘I need time with Ed. We’re going to take a holiday. It’s not like you can leave Dylan. I need to sort my head out, Robert. Please.’

‘You love me.’ Robert had said. ‘You said it.’

‘I know. But I can’t deal with this.’

Robert frowned. Why did he always end up hurting people? Chas was right. It was what he did best, ruining people’s lives; Katie, Andy, Chrissie, now Dylan and Aaron. Always Aaron, caught in the middle.

 

‘I’ve been cheating on you.’ Aaron had just blurted it out in the end.

‘WH… why, we’re engaged. We’re getting married? I don’t understand.’ Ed was stunned.

Aaron’s eyes had filled with tears.

‘I’m sorry.’

‘Who is he?’

‘No one you know.’ Aaron had lied.

‘So is it serious? Are we over? I gave up my job, my life in Paris.’

‘I don’t know.’

It was Ed who eventually suggested they go away together, just the two of them, somewhere by the sea. They could talk everything over and get a better picture about the future, decide if they had one or not.

Aaron had agreed and they’d gone away.

‘You can’t leave me here and go with him.’ Robert had said.

‘You need to focus on getting that lad well again. I mean, can you even imagine how bad he’s going to feel if he finds out about you and me?’

‘So what are you saying?’

‘I’m saying, we do the right thing Robert. We get on with our lives. You have Dylan who needs you and I have Ed. If Ed can even think about forgiving me for this, well that’s got to be worth something. We’re both lucky. We have good men who love us, who are in love with us. It ought to be enough.’

‘It’s not enough. It never will be. I need you, Aaron. You know I do. And you told me. You said you loved me.’

‘I do. But it changes nothing.’

 

Robert had bought Dylan a set of home weights and a bench. He hired the physical therapist from the hospital to come round and show Dylan the exercises he could do with the dumbbells for core and upper body strength without hurting his legs. Later he would need to start doing leg exercises but first the bones needed to heal.

He felt frustrated when Dylan refused to take an interest.

Everything had changed. Before Dylan was all noise and movement, running up and down the stairs, banging doors, dancing on the carpet, chatting on the phone, racing to the shop and back. Robert, looking up from his laptop, was always warning him, always telling Dylan to turn it off, turn it down, to use his headphones. Dylan would answer by removing the laptop, straddling his lap, pushing hands into his shirt and a tongue into his mouth. But not anymore.

Dylan was in bed when his phone rang in the living room where he’d left it, where Robert was working.

‘Robbie. That’s my phone.’

‘Come and get it then.’ Robert called back.

Dylan had taken his walking frame, angrily. Robert watched him when he fell.

He leapt forward to catch him. Then hesitated, watching Dylan as he looked up expectantly from the floor.

‘Get up then!’ He said.

‘I can’t.’ Dylan pouted.

‘Stay there then!’

He walked into the kitchen, pulling at his hair.

‘I’m in pain!’

‘You are a pain! A fucking pain in the arse!’ Robert called over his shoulder. ‘No, not even that anymore. That would be more fun than this!’

He walked back into the living room. He could see Dylan moving on his back on the floor, crying, he couldn’t use his knees for leverage.  Robert quickly wiped his own face, trying to hide his own tears of frustration.

For a moment he thought about how angry he was with Aaron for leaving him when he needed him.

He wasn’t coping any more.

Leaning forward he scooped up Dylan in his arms and pulled him up, pushing his lips against his head.

‘Come here, you idiot. When are you going to accept this? This was your fault, Dylan! Your vanity! You took those steroids and you did this to your heart. You fell unconscious because of the steroids, so suck it up!’

Dylan cried noisily from his throat, like a toy that bleats when you press a button. Robert rocked him in his arms.

‘Was it? Was it me?‘ He wailed through his tears.

‘I don’t know, love. Let’s ask when we go in for your appointment. It’ll be good to get some answers.’

 

Robert had lunch with Clive.

‘He was a randy nineteen year old who couldn’t get enough. Now he’s afraid of his own body, like if he gets a hard on he wants to hide it until it’s gone again. He needs to get his confidence back.’

Clive listened, raising his eyebrows, taking a forkful of scallop from his plate and putting it in his mouth. Robert continued.

‘The problem is, he thinks he’s not attractive to me anymore, because of the state of his legs, and just to make things worse, I think he’s afraid of the pain. He had a groin injury too, here.’ Robert showed the place on his body.  ‘Do you use those muscles when you come?’

Clive shook his head.

‘No idea. We could find out, together, if you like?’ he smiled, then went on. ‘Poor Dylan. He was a beautiful boy to look at too, and now he’s ruined.’

‘Don’t say that. He’s still beautiful.’

‘I thought you were in love with Aaron?’

‘I am.‘ Robert paused thinking of Aaron in his bed at the cottage, the last time they were together.

‘But I need Dylan to get better.’

He looked up at Clive.

‘Who do you know? He needs someone kind, nice looking, but someone who’s confident enough to persuade him it’s OK. You still have your contacts?’

‘You want to pay someone to have sex with your boyfriend? Blimey. I wish I was your boyfriend. Anyway, you always had as many contacts as me.’

‘I let most of them go after I met Chrissie.’ Robert paused. ‘I need to present it to him as a massage, so someone who’s got that in their repertoire. ‘

 ‘OK. I’ll find someone and let you know.’

 

Robert woke Dylan before he left for work.

‘Hey. I’ve booked you a massage for today. It’ll do you good. He’s coming at five this afternoon, so don’t go into town or anything.’ He joked with a smile. Leaning over he kissed Dylan heavily with soft lips forcing his mouth open, pushing with his tongue.

Dylan smiled and wiped his mouth.

Robert lay back down next to him, fully dressed with his jacket and tie, feeling the warmth in his response.

‘Do you want me to stay?’ He kissed Dylan’s jaw. ‘I will.’ He moved his mouth back to find Dylan’s mouth.  He took Dylan’s hand and pressed it against his erection through his trousers. ‘Look what you do to me.’

 Then, as usual, he felt Dylan tense.

‘Go to work, Robbie.’ Dylan turned his face away.

‘OK, Dylan. Enjoy your day. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!’

 

Dylan made the way to the door on his frame. When he opened it he saw a nice looking bloke in what looked like his late twenties smiling at him. He had a dark beard and was wearing a track suit with a large sports bag slung over his shoulder.

‘Dylan?’ He asked.

‘Yes. That’s me.’

‘I think you have a massage booked with me.’ The man smiled. He had a slight accent, maybe Polish?

Dylan hadn’t expected someone so attractive. He managed a three point turn and cleared the door so the bloke could follow him in, and then he stood in the living room, leaning on the frame, watching the visitor who looked his body up and down.

‘How did you do that then?’ He pointed at Dylan’s legs.

‘Car accident.’

‘Must have been scary.’ He smiled ‘My name’s Benjamin, by the way.’

Dylan nodded.

‘Do you have a massage table or shall we do this in the bedroom? You show me.’

Benjamin watched as Dylan came into the bedroom and positioned the frame so he could lower himself into a sitting position, then pulled his legs onto the bed to lie down.

‘Can you take your clothes off for me?’ He said, turning around and starting to look in his sports bag.

Dylan hesitated, then pulled his T-shirt up and over his head. He’d had massages before, as a dancer it was something they learned about in college, especially with all the muscle sprains. But it was a while ago now and never at home, like this.

 ‘Take off everything, yeah? Do you need help?’

Dylan blushed.

Benjamin created a curtain with a towel, Dylan struggled out of his clothes, pulling them over the cage over his leg. When he was ready Benjamin placed the towel over him completely, so only his shoulders and lower legs were exposed.

He surprised Dylan when he took off his own track suit top and T-shirt and slid out of his track suit trousers so he was wearing shorts and nothing else.

Dylan noticed his well-shaped pecs and abs, and his thick thighs. When he looked back at Benjamin’s face, Benjamin winked at him.

‘You work out.’ Dylan stammered, embarrassed to be caught looking.

Ben smiled pulling the towel down to Dylan’s waist.

‘You have a really toned body, too.’

‘I dance.’ Dylan said, then corrected himself. ‘I danced, before the accident.’

‘How long is it since it happened?’

‘Two months.’

Dylan glanced guiltily at the weights and bench that Robert had got for him. Maybe he should have started using them.

Benjamin began to massage his upper body, starting at his shoulders. It felt good, really good. Dylan closed his eyes and started to drift, feeling the measured pressure on his body.

Benjamin took his time, after his shoulders Dylan felt Benjamin’s hands on his chest.  He felt his fingers running over his nipples and all at once his cock hardened under the towel.

He opened his eyes in panic.

 Benjamin was looking away into the distance and Dylan’s gaze drifted down to his abs, watching the way the light hit them as he moved.

Benjamin took hold of Dylan’s arm and moved his hands gradually down over the muscles past the elbow down to the wrist and to his fingers. He repeated it with the other arm. After, he massaged his face and his scalp.

Dylan’s breathing slowed and deepened until he was close to drifting off into a sleep.

‘You can’t turn over can you?’

‘No.’

‘OK. Then can you sit up for me? I’m going to sit behind you on the bed to massage your back if you’re alright with that?’

When he’d done with Dylan’s back, he helped him slowly lay back down, then moved the towel up from Dylan’s thighs. He looked at the long fresh scars on his upper leg. As well as the fracture, they’d taken skin grafts from the back of the thigh for the lower right leg.

‘I’m just going to touch, tell me if it hurts at all.’

 He stroked his hands up Dylan’s thighs gently, moving them underneath, holding the flesh softly at either side of the thigh and moving his fingers upwards over the skin, tracing the fresh scar very lightly with a thumb.

When he reached the crease at the top of Dylan’s thigh, he paused, leaving his hand there.

All at once Dylan was aware that the back off his fingers were in contact with his balls. He couldn’t be sure if it was a mistake or intentional. He felt his heart suddenly pounding.

Benjamin’s voice was low. ‘Do you want me to go further, Dylan?’

Dylan swallowed.

‘What?’

‘Sex?’

The word was out there.

‘I don’t know.’ He could feel his heart now all the way up in his throat. ‘Maybe. Yes. No, wait! My boyfriend…’

‘He hired me, Dylan, for you, you know what I’m saying?’

Dylan nodded. Of course. Robert. He thought about Robert’s cock, how he missed him so much, moving inside his arse.

 Then all at once Benjamin was taking off his shorts and Dylan could see his thick erect cock. He felt himself throbbing under the towel. He was ready to come at the slightest touch.

Dylan moved the towel away all at once, so that Benjamin smiled at the sight of him engorged, glistening with pre cum.

‘Look. I had this metal go through me here.’  Dylan showed Benjamin the scar in his groin. ‘It makes me scared.’

‘OK. Don’t worry. If you get some pain tell me.’

Then Benjamin’s fingers were around Dylan’s cock and he started to jerk him, Dylan gripped onto his forearm to keep himself steady, throwing his throat back, his mouth falling open.

Benjamin paused.

 ‘So you haven’t done this since your accident?’

Dylan shook his head in affirmation. He wanted to raise his legs, but couldn’t. Benjamin noticed.

‘So you can’t move this leg, but this one can move, can you bend your knee up like that.’ He helped him. ‘I just want to get to that sweet hole. Oh baby, that’s so good. Is that how you come, baby?’

And Dylan was gargling, his head rocking as he felt a finger, already lubricated with massage oil, penetrate inside and move back and forth.

 ‘Dylan baby I’m going to come too just watching your hole. You’re so sexy.’

Dylan came in waves, tears of relief on his cheeks. Benjamin leaned down and kissed him.

 

Robert called on his way home in the traffic.

‘Ben? Did you have a successful afternoon?’

Benjamin chuckled.

‘Call me back any time, Robert. Any time day or night, yeah?’

 

When Robert opened the door, the house was quiet. He found Dylan asleep in the bedroom, his face looked serene.

Robert smiled and closed the door quietly. He cooked some pasta and made a salad to go with it, then poured a glass of wine and sat down to watch the TV on mute.

After an hour Dylan appeared, walking through with his frame.

‘Hello there? You hungry, then? Work up an appetite did you?’ Robert asked.

‘So, did you enjoy your massage, then?’ He said when Dylan had finished eating.

‘You fucking know I did.’ Dylan answered.

‘So you liked your little rent boy, then?’

Dylan looked from Robert’s eyes to his mouth and back to his eyes again.

Robert leaned forward and kissed his mouth hard, feeling Dylan return the pressure, he smiled.

‘That’s more like it.’

‘I missed your cock, Robbie.’ Dylan grinned.

‘It missed you. Do you want to get reacquainted?’

It was obvious over the next few days, however creative they got, that penetrative sex was not going to happen yet for a while.

Dylan just couldn’t cope with the pain when he moved his legs.

‘Don’t worry. We can wait. We can do plenty of other things.’ Robert lowered his voice to a semi-whisper. ’Shall we go to back to bed?’

 

When they got back from the coast a week later, it was Ed who suggested they drop in at Robert and Dylan’s.

Aaron objected. ‘I really don’t think they’d want us sticking our noses in where we’re not wanted.’

‘Why? You’re working with Robert and we should visit just to say get well soon. It’s just courtesy really.’

Aaron was worried that if he protested too much then Ed would start to get suspicious.

‘Well, just a short visit then.’

Aaron hadn’t seen Dylan since the accident, but he’d heard so much from Robert, and seen second hand from Robert what Dylan had been going through. He felt a confused mixture of compassion and jealousy about the boy.

He also wondered how Robert would react when they showed up. He dropped him a text, but got a message back saying it wasn’t received. He frowned, maybe it was better this way, a quick visit and then they would leave.

They knocked on the door of the cottage and waited.

Vic waved from over the road, walking down towards the Woolpack.

‘You’re back then?’ She called. ‘Come and join me and Adam for a drink later, eh?’

‘Where are they?’ Aaron asked.

‘They might have a hospital appointment.’ Vic answered, but then saw Rob’s car parked up behind the cottage.

‘But they should be home.’

The door opened. Robert hair was tousled, he was wearing a robe over jeans, obviously hastily pulled on. His feet were bare.

‘Well there’s your answer.’ Vic laughed. ‘This is my brother after all. Some things never change, eh?’

‘Oi. Away with you.’ Robert called after his sister.

Aaron looked down at the pavement.

‘Sorry, mate. We didn’t mean to disturb you. We’ll come back another time.’

‘No, no, don’t be like that. Come in.’ Robert said, stepping back into the house. Now he had Aaron in his sight, he couldn’t bear the thought of letting him walk away. He had to fight the urge to reach out and hold his hand, to touch him.

‘I missed you.’ The words hung between them. ‘We’ve been so busy at work.’ He went on.

Aaron nodded, still not quite able to raise his eyes.

Robert turned to Ed. His voice was light.

‘Ed. How are you? When do you start with the new team in Leeds? Did you like your new apartment?’

‘Yeah. Aaron chose well. We’ll invite you guys over when we’ve got properly settled in and you can see it.’

Robert nodded.

Dylan appeared, moving from the bedroom slowly on the walking frame. He was wearing sweat pants with one leg cut off to accommodate the exterior pin structure. Without wanting to stare Aaron felt his eyes drawn to Dylan’s leg which was a patchwork of misshapen flesh and scars from surgery.

Dylan’s expression was cold as he looked back at Aaron. Aaron noted his hair was also uncombed. He was ashamed that a small part of him celebrated the fact they’d obviously been interrupted before finishing what they’d been up to in the bedroom.

Ed spoke.

‘We just wanted to see how you were, Dylan.’

‘I’m OK. I’ve got Robbie looking after me, haven’t I?’ He answered, looking directly at Aaron. ‘When did you arrive?’

‘I came a couple of weeks ago. Of course, I’m the lucky one. With Aaron and Robert working together now, he’d already sorted us an apartment and everything.’

Dylan looked from Robert to Aaron.

‘Working together?’ he echoed.

‘Yeah. Aaron’s fixing up cars for me.’

Dylan looked startled.

‘Since when?’

It was Ed who answered.

‘More than two months now. Isn’t it, Aaron. It was difficult, being apart.’

It was Ed’s turn to look down.

Dylan frowned. ‘So you were here when I was in hospital?’ he asked Aaron.

‘Yeah. Sorry mate. I didn’t come to see you, cos, well I knew you were in a bad way then.’

‘Sorry, I can’t keep my weight on the frame, I need to sit down.’ Dylan moved forward slowly and sat on the sofa.

Aaron looked up at Ed.

‘Look. We need to leave. We’ll see you later.’ He started moving towards the door. Ed followed him surprised.

They spilled out saying their goodbyes.

‘What was that about?’ Ed asked on the pavement, after the door was closed.

‘Look, we obviously interrupted them, you know, in bed like. It was the wrong time.’ Aaron said quietly.

After closing the door, Robert walked back into the living room. He hunkered down on his knees in front of where Dylan was sitting on the sofa.

‘Dylan…’

‘Were you with him? When I was in hospital? You were, weren’t you?’

Robert shook his head. ‘No. All I was thinking about was you. Look. He’s with Ed, isn’t he?’

Robert could see that he wanted to believe him, but wasn’t sure.

‘Let’s go back to bed, eh?’

Dylan exhaled. Robert took his hand to help him up.  


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn helps Dylan out. Robert comforts Dylan in the night. Aaron and Robert both independently make life changing decisions but are they the right decisions?

Aaron rolled out from under the Bugatti and looked up at Robert, who stood, hands in suit trouser pockets, looking down at him, trying not to think about how it would be if he slipped his fingers inside his overalls.

Aaron looked back up at him expectantly. There was presumably a reason that he had come to the car workshop to see him.

“So you both like the apartment, then? Are you glad you chose it?” Robert asked eventually.

Aaron shrugged.

“Yeah, I suppose. It’s not bad. The shower leaks and there’s a bit of a weird smell in the kitchen like something died, but otherwise it’s ok.”

Robert nodded.

‘So where did you go, with Ed, when you were away?”

“The seaside. Northumberland, does it matter?”

Robert looked away burying his hands deeper. Aaron refused to notice the clench of the jaw, the tightening lips. When Robert eventually spoke his voice was rough.

“Only so I know never to take you there.”

Aaron closed his eyes and puffed out air from his cheeks. He reached up an arm and Robert took it, pulling him up to a standing position. He held on just a little too long so that Aaron looked down at his hand and back to his face with eyebrows raised. Robert reluctantly let go.

“So you’re alright now, the two of you?” Robert continued.

Aaron watched hım as he picked up a cloth and wiped machine grease off his hands.

“We’re alright.” Aaron answered. ”I mean he’s not ecstatic about what happened, but he’s willing to give us another chance.”

“Aaron, why didn’t you just break it off with him? I don’t understand.” Robert burst out. All at once Aaron felt his defences falling. Here was the real Robert, his Robert, searching his face. He couldn’t let this Robert back in, not now.

“Look, he gave up his life to start a new career here for me. He made all that sacrifice for me. And we’ve been over and over this! You have Dylan, now. Poor kid.” Aaron’s voice changed. “And based on yesterday when we turned up, you’re obviously taking your responsibility seriously.”

Robert blinked.

“I didn’t know you were coming round? I didn’t even know you were back. You can’t tell me to stand by him and that he needs me and then not expect me to offer him the full package.”

“Well, Good! You’re clearly doing the right thing. Robert just face it. We’re done. It’s over. All that happened, it was a mistake, and now we need to move on.”

 

When Aaron arrived home, Ed was in the kitchen. The apartment smelt strongly of spices as he walked in.

“Wow. So, that’s strong! What are you cooking?”

“OK. Now, I know you are not so adventurous, but one of the guys on the team recommended a Lebanese dish, so it’s got spices but it’s not hot and..” he pulled Aaron close “you’re hot, too.”

Aaron stretched his eyes and allowed himself to be pulled into Ed’s arms.

“Look. I missed you when you were here and I was in Paris. And with what happened going away helped but… I’m being honest with you, I feel we’re still not back to where we were before.”

Aaron nodded. He knew it was true. They were being careful with each other. Aaron was overthinking everything.

Ed leaned forward and kissed him.

“Let’s go to bed, then.” Aaron smiled at him.

“Why not here?” Ed countered, his voice low.

Aaron looked out of the window. He needed to try harder. This had to work. He closed his eyes as Ed kissed him and tried not to think about Robert with Dylan the day before. He thought about Dylan’s injuries. He wondered if Robert was extra gentle with his hands, with his mouth, with his body. He pulled back from Ed’s kiss for a moment, hesitating, trying to ignore the ache in his chest as he breathed, before moving his hands to the front of Ed’s trousers.

 

Finn had just finished a breakfast shift at the B&B and was on his way home. Vic was walking towards him, carrying what looked like some heavy bags of groceries.

“I’m just taking some stuff round to Dylan. Do you have time? Give me a hand would you?”

She passed hım a couple of bags to carry.

“I made him some meals that he can just heat up. He’s getting better but he’s not mobile enough to cook. Come to think of it, I’m not sure he even knows how to cook.”

"I’m pretty sure that Robert feeds him." Finn pointed out.

“The thing is, Robert gets home late, doesn’t he? Actually Dylan would be really glad to see you if you pop in with me. I think he gets a bit lonely in the day, poor kid.”

Vic called out to Dylan as they let themselves in through the front door.

“It’s only me and I’ve got Finn, here too.” She called, but there was no sign of Dylan in the living room or in the kitchen.

“He wouldn’t be out.” Vic said, starting to unpack the food and put some in the fridge freezer. “He might still be sleeping. Could you check the bedroom? It’s through there.”

Finn looked a little flustered but knocked on the door lightly with his index finger. When there was no reply he slowly opened it.

“Dylan…?”

A quick glance showed that the bed was empty. Then all at once he saw Dylan lying on his back on a low exercise bench lifting a dumbbell. He was topless and a quick glance at his sweating torso established to Finn that he must have been working out for a while, his slim biceps and pecs swollen with the exercise. His injured legs were spread awkwardly out from the end of the bench. He had earphones in his ears.

He suddenly turned and saw Finn.  

Startled, he froze and then lowered the weight he’d been lifting onto his chest, and reached up a hand to pull out the earphones. 

 “It’s really good to see you, Finn!” He smiled.

Finn smiled back. Dylan continued. “Sorry, this is a bit awkward.” He started lowering the weights very slowly down on the floor beside him.

Finn stepped forward with his second offer of help that morning. “Shall I take it?”

“Actually they’re lightweights like me I suppose. I have to be able to manage like this.” Stretching out an arm Dylan still on his back started to pull the walking frame over towards him. “The most difficult thing is standing up again.” He grinned.

He leaned over and started to pull himself up with two arms, sliding on his back and transferring the weight of his body from the bench to the frame. He’d half lifted himself when Finn saw the frame suddenly tip dangerously.

He lunged forward and held Dylan to stop him falling, his hands on the skin where his back curved to the sides of his body. His skin was warm and still damp with sweat from the work out. Dylan turned his face and smiled at him. For a moment their faces were so close Fınn could feel Dylan’s breath. He looked down at his mouth and quickly back to meet Dylan’s eyes. Dylan was looking at him intently. He remembered the kiss at Bar West, Dylan naked asleep in the bed later. All at once he moved hıs mouth forward and, eyes closed, he was tasting Dylan’s lips. For a second he let his tongue slip past Dylan’s lips into the heat of his mouth and then almost instantly he drew back.

He looked down quickly, breaking the eye contact.

The frame was steady again and Dylan leaned his weight onto it.

“Dylan, I’m …”  Finn started to speak.

Vic walked in.

“Well it’s good you’re doing all this sport, Dylan.” Victoria looked at Finn. “You could come over and do some sport with him. It wouldn’t hurt you.” She said.

“Yeah. I’d ... I’d like that.” Dylan agreed keeping his eyes lowered.

 

As far as possible Aaron kept his distance from Robert at work. There was another mechanic working alongside Aaron, and Robert would watch them leaving together at midday to get some lunch.

He would will Aaron to look back at him, at the office window, but he never did.

Sometimes Ed would come by at lunch time and they would leave together. Ed would raise a hand to touch Aaron’s shoulder. Robert would watch as Aaron smiled back at him.

A couple of times Ed dropped by the office to chat with Robert while he was waiting for Aaron to clean up.

“Why don’t you bring Dylan round to ours for a meal? I like to cook. You can tell us what you think of the apartment.”

Aaron walked into the office looking at both men’s faces questioningly.

“I was tellıng Robert to bring Dylan round for a meal.”

Robert saw the startled look on Aaron’s face.

“It’s a nice idea, but Dylan’s going back in hospital soon. He’ll have more surgery on his knee and they’ll remove the external pins from his leg.”

Aaron nodded.

“After that then, eh?”

Robert watched them walk away together, fighting the urge to run after them.

 

Robert woke up in the dark. Dylan was crying, elbows in the air, hands pressed against his forehead.

“Hey, hey!” Robert turned on his side and wrapped an arm gently around him. “Are you in pain? Dylan? What can I do for you, love?”

Dylan continued to sob. Robert could feel him shake as he stroked a hand over him.

He moved up onto his elbow.

“It’s OK. It’s just hard right now, but it’s going to get better.”

Dylan’s voice came thick with tears.

“No! It isn’t going to get better. I was dreaming….” he struggled to talk through his tears “I was dancing. I… umm had to learn these steps… and they were complicated… they were hard… but I did. And … it was so good. I was dancing. I felt so good. And then… I woke up…”

Dylan pressed his hand against his mouth. He was crying so hard he was coughing now and almost retching. Robert reached over and switched the lamp on, his brow furrowed. He reached both arms around him and held him tight.

“Shhh! Dylan, Dylan!” He crooned.

“I wish... I’d ...died! But... I did… didn’t I? I did die! I’m ….a dancer. I”m really ...talented. “ He started to breathe more evenly as his sobbing slowed down in Robert's arms. “I'm not a cripple. I'm not. Please make it go away."

“Dylan. That’s enough, now.”

Robert went and poured a couple of shots of whiskey and came back quickly.

“Here, drink this.” He watched Dylan as he took a gulp of the liquid, his teeth banging against the glass.

“Look, this is hard. You’re right. This is as hard as it gets. You’re sad, course you are.” Robert took hold of his hand and held it tightly. “We’re all sad. It’s allowed.”

“I don’t know who I am anymore.”

“Just give yourself time. You’re going to have the pins taken out and then you can start to exercise your legs too and who knows. You’ll see what you can do and what you can’t do.”

“I can’t explain, it’s like losing your voice forever or.. or… your lungs!”

“Well from the crying just now I think your lungs are working just fine.” Robert smiled, he saw Dylan’s eyes soften for a moment.

“You’re only with me cos you feel sorry for me.”

“No.” Robert shook his head. “I’m here because you have the hottest arse in Emmerdale.”

“Emmerdale?” Dylan actually laughed. Robert felt a quiet glow of victory. ”Who are you comparing me with? Bob? Eric?”

“I don’t know… There’s Finn I suppose.”

All at once Dylan blushed his cheeks flaming up. He looked down quickly, avoiding Robert’s gaze.

“Do I need to worry about Finn or something?” Robert asked.

“Don’t be ridiculous.”  

He turned his face upwards to Robert and raised his hand to pull Robert towards him into an open mouthed kiss.

                  “I just want you to fuck my arse soon, Robbie.The waiting is killing me.”

“I know. After the pins are out. You’ll see. Everything’ll start to feel better.”

Robert picked up the glasses and put them on the bedside table.

“I’m sorry. I need the bathroom.” Dylan said quietly.

Robert put on the big light so that Dylan could use the frame. He sat back in bed waiting. In the early days he used to carry him to the bathroom at night, an arm round his waist and gently under his thighs, Dylan’s arms around his neck. With his slight but muscular body he was surprisingly heavy, now he’d got more independent, it took longer but it was worth it.

Dylan looked back at him.

“And I’m not with you because you’re rich and that.”

“No?” Robert raised his eyebrows.

“No. Really. I’m here because you’re the biggest dick in Emmerdale.” he grinned cheekily. “That didn’t come out right. I meant you _have_ the biggest dick....”

Robert took one of the pillows from the bed and threw it at him.

“Nah.You know I love you. Robbie. Can’t help myself.”

Robert hesitated

“I love you too, sweetheart.”

“It’s OK. You don’t have to.” Dylan had almost reached the bathroom door. He didn’t look at Robert as he answered.

“But I do…” Robert protested.

“You just love him more.”

Dylan closed the bathroom door and Robert ran his hand over his face.

 

Aaron woke up in the dark and looking across saw that Ed wasn’t in bed.

He found him in the living room with the light turned off, standing by the window, looking out through the open curtains at the dark street below.

Aaron raised a hand to his shoulder and stood silently next to him in the hush of the room.

“Look” Ed spoke quietly, not moving his head. “There’s a fox.”

Aaron saw the beast trotting down the pavement, going at quite a pace, keeping itself close to the wall where it could half hide in the shadows.It came to a snikket and quickly dodged down and out of sight.

“Oh my god!” Aaron smiled. “ We hardly see them in Emmerdale.The farmer’s shoot them so I suppose they get used to hiding.”

“Well, they’re thieves aren’t they?” Ed answered. He turned and looked now at Aaron’s face searchingly.”Taking what doesn’t belong to them.”

Aaron took his hand.

“What’s up?” He  asked softly.

“I just don’t feel we’re right. I’m still hurt, Aaron, and I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean? Like what?”

“I don’t know. Do you love me? Do you really want to be with me?”

Aaron blinked. He felt his heart race. Of course he loved Ed. Of course he did.

“You know I do.”

“Do I? Cos if you want to end this, then tell me.”

“Why would I want to end things?”

Aaron thought about Robert. For a moment he was running away mentally with the idea of telling Ed it was over. Telling Robert. Being together at last. The thought made him sick and scared, disgusted and relieved all in one. He drew a breath. He could see Dylan looking at him with those cold accusing eyes, resting against the walking frame, his leg destroyed. He couldn’t do more damage to the boy, blow his world apart. He knew Robert could, but Aaron wouldn’t let him. It was over between them. He did love Ed. Ed who was thoughtful, dependable and kind. He was what Aaron needed. No more distractions.

No more Robert.

Ed turned to Aaron so they were facing each other.

“Then I need to know. We’re engaged. Is that what you want? Can we set a date?”

Aaron nodded.

“When do you want? The sooner the better.”

 

Robert walked into the Woolpack exhausted and ready for a drink. He’d been off work for the week at the hospital, everyday by Dylan’s side. Dylan had come out of surgery and was doing well. He’d be home in a couple of days. Tonight Robert needed a break. So he’d left Dylan with a wet kiss and his dance partner Louise staying overnight in a spare bed placed in his private room.

They’d talked to Fred about the steroids and he’d listened carefully and promised a heart scan. He wasn’t convinced that there was a connection between Dylan’s fainting and the drugs.

“Sounds like you hardly used them. More likely fatigue from all the rehearsals and other lifestyle choices. Burning the candle both ends.”

Of course, as a regular at Bar West he was fairly familiar with Dylan’s lifestyle choices. Robert trusted him. He was probably right.

He offered to pay for the scan anyway.

“Let’s get it done privately too so we can put this behind us.”

Arriving at the Woolpack, Robert could hardly fail to notice the Dingle clan en masse at the tables.

He frowned. Since all that had happened in the spring and how Robert had stood by Aaron during the court case with Gordon, old animosities had fallen away, but a natural antipathy was harder to shake.

He stood at the bar waiting to be served and watching the family. They were dressed up to the nines, Belle and Moira with lipstick and hats, all the gents with suits and flowers.

He wondered if Aaron might turn up.

All at once he saw Adam with a suit and a button hole and then Vic appeared.

He felt his mouth go dry and his hands started to sweat. Victoria was looking at him with that expression she got, she was walking towards him with an outstretched hand.

Chas appeared from the back glammed up and carrying a bottle of champagne.

And then there he was behind her, in a blue suit, his beard trim and skin glowing, Ed in a matching suit at his side. They were holding hands.

As they walked into the pub, a cheer went up.

Robert walked out into the carpark.

He wasn’t sure for a moment which was the worse day, this day or the day he got shot. But he knew it was this day. The day he got shot he could have died, but now somehow he'd have to find a way to live with this. He bent double and started to throw up into the flower garden.

Amazingly, it was Andy who took him home, helped him undress and put him to bed.

He placed a glass of water and some stomach settling tablets by the bed.

“I’m off to the wedding party then, but call me Rob, if you need me. You know I care about you. Just look after yourself a bit more,eh?”

 

Robert stroked his hands over Dylan’s butt cheeks using a circular motion and held them apart, moving his face forward. As his tongue lapped at his rim, Robert listened to the sounds coming from Dylan’s throat and felt his cock grow.

They’d stacked up pillows under his hips so that his legs spread behind him were bent as much as was comfortable.

It was two weeks since he’d been discharged from hospital and they’d been sitting side by side on the sofa watching a match when Dylan had started to kiss Robert’s throat and undo his shirt, sliding his slender fingers over Robert’s skin downwards till they reached  below his belly button.

“I want you, Robbie. Let’s try.” He’d whispered.

Robert raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah? You sure?”

Robert pointed his tongue and pushed into Dylan hole, rolling sideways around the inside of the rim and then darting in and out of the hot space.

"Robbie. Please."  Dylan panted.

Aaron and Ed were still on honeymoon. They’d gone to the Bahamas. Chas and Paddy had split the cost. The way Paddy had looked at Robert when they’d run into each other after Aaron had left would stay with him. He wouldn’t forgive or forget, except for Aaron’s sake. There would be no grain pit deep enough for him.

Robert pressed his mouth forward and sucked with his lips, still working his tongue. He could feel his cock as it rubbed over the sheet under him.

He knelt back and stroked his long length. He looked at Dylan’s hole, glittering with saliva and his balls pressed over the pillows, flushed dark red.

"You ready to try this then, Dylan?" He whispered.

Dylan nodded.

Robert took a lube shooter and filled it from a jar and then slipped it inside Dylan’s hole and injected the lube deep inside him. It had been Benjamin’s suggestion.

"Just make everything smooth as silk the first time. You want it to work, don’t you?"

He spread more lube around Dylan’s rim. Then he took a condom and unrolled it down his length and added more lube.

“I’m going to come so fast anyway.” He laughed.

He pulled Dylan up by the hips. “Tell me if your knees hurt, OK?”

“Right, here we go.” He whispered. He pushed up against the ring of muscle and all at once he penetrated into the space.

“Oh yes!” he groaned. “Oh yes! That’s amazing.”

He felt the tightness of Dylan’s muscles as they spasmed against the head of his cock and then he was sliding in a smooth dive, deeper inside, feeling the hot ring of muscle squeeze caressingly down his length.

He pulled out again quickly and laughed.

“I’m just going to come so fast if we’re not careful.” He repeated.

He leaned forward with his mouth and sucked against his arse again, then, leaning back, pushed in once more.

“How”s that?" He asked.

He didn’t need to ask.

Dylan was letting out high moans with each thrust Robert made.

Robert slipped out again.

“Fuck! Dylan. Fuck, your arse is hot.”

He pushed in two fingers. Dylan was pushing back as he always did.

Robert reached forward and stroked Dylan's shaft a couple of times, then entered him once more. Without going too deep, he set up a fast rhythm that he knew was hitting Dylan’s magic spot.

Dylan reached back searching for Robert’s hand. When he found him he threaded his fingers into Robert’s.

“Robbie. Ungh. I’m coming.” he warned.

Robert increased his speed. As he felt Dylan come, he pushed in all the way and thrust harder bringing himself to his own climax too.

They both called out together, then Robert fell forward against Dylan’s back till Dylan cried out.

“Sorry Robert, I can't.” Robert noticed that he was in pain and apologised, then lay on his back again with Dylan beside him.

“So, that was good. Were you impressed? Worth the wait was it?” Robert said to the ceiling.

“It was fucking amazing Robbie.” Dylan laughed. “I’m glad the wait is over.”

Robert’s heart raced. He turned to Dylan.

“Do you want to get married?”

“One day, I suppose.”

“No, I mean marry me, Dylan.”

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron is shocked to find out that Robert and Dylan are engaged. Finn hears something and makes a move of his own.

  “Engaged?”

“Yeah. Like I said. It’s Robert’s engagement party. Robert and Dylan.” Adam repeated with a grin. “Seems you started a fashion. Vic’s real chuffed about it, man. She’s all keen to see her big bro settle down so she doesn’t have to worry about him anymore. She seems to think now he’s out he can make a proper go of it this time.”

Aaron placed a hand on the bar to steady himself.

“You alright? Aaron?”

“Yeah, I uh, it must be jet lag or something, I think I need the little boys’ room.”

Patting a hand on Ed’s sleeve as he left, he made his way through the noisy crowd of mainly young people and into the gent’s toilets.

Even there it was crowded but after a moment a cubicle came free and he shut himself in. He felt his knees buckle as he sat down on the closed seat of the lav, bringing his hand to his mouth.

He had married Ed to end this once and for all. But now, hearing the news about Robert, he felt all at sea once again. He couldn’t let Robert do this. This was a bad idea.

He felt hot tears surface in his eyes and brushed them away angrily.

Robert with Dylan, whispering to him in the dark, touching him and being touched and liking it enough to want to make it something permanent. His chest constricted.

Someone knocked wanting to get in. He wiped the back of his sleeve over his face and breathed steadily before unlocking the door and going back through the crowds to where Adam and Ed were still standing.      

 

“Robbie, you are going to be so ill!”

They’d started with Champagne and then moved on to beer and tequila shots.

The pub was packed with Dylan’s college friends and family. Vic had provided a choice of menu but the food was long eaten and now they had a DJ playing dance music.

Through the crowds and the lighting, Robert had seen Aaron arrive with Ed from the back room and had followed them with his eyes as they made their way to join Adam at the bar. He’d noticed Aaron go to the bathroom and come back again.

He drained the last drops from his glass and swept an arm around Dylan.

“Are you having fun?” He asked into his ear and then lowered his mouth to his neck.

Aaron looked over from the bar where he was standing with Ed and Adam, then looked away.

“Yeah. Rob’s got this one bad.” Adam laughed.

Ed raised his glass and took a mouthful of beer.

“They look good together. And you’re right, Adam, it’s quite an age gap, but Robert obviously adores him. Whenever I’ve seen them, they can never keep their hands off each other. It’s nice. Especially after what they’ve been through.”

Robert was standing up using a hand on Dyan’s shoulder for stability.

He raised a shot glass.

“So another toast to my drop dead gorgeous fiance…. who has the sexiest arse in Emmerdale,”’ Dylan was shaking his head and tugging at his shirt trying to get him to sit down again “Except for you, of course, Eric and you…” he hesitated as his eyes suddenly lingered over Aaron “...Finn…” he finished, catching Finn’s eyes and smirking at Finn’s blushes before he dropped back down to a sitting position next to Dylan.

“Kiss me, Dylan! Screw what the world thinks!”

Aaron turned away. He looked at his watch, then touched Ed’s sleeve.

“Do you think we should make a move?”

Ed shook his head. They’d just got back from their three week honeymoon in the Bahamas that day. They were lucky that Ed’s rugby team had been on a season vacation and, well, Robert could hardly have refused to let Aaron go, recruiting a temporary mechanic to cover for him while he was away. Adam had picked them up and brought them directly to the Woolpack,

“Your Mum suggested we stay. We haven’t shopped or anything. And we can have a drink or two more without worrying about driving. It makes sense. Tomorrow my training doesn’t start till nine so you can have a sleep in after I’ve gone. What do you think?”

Aaron looked down.

“We could take a taxi.”

“Come on Aaron,” Adam laughed. “Don’t be such a killjoy, man. Have another drink, I’m buying.”

 

Later Aaron made his way back to the men’s bathroom. When he walked in, he was startled to see Robert and Dylan were there. Robert was pressed up behind Dylan. He had his lips against the side of his neck, while his hands were reaching round the front of him. Dylan was laughing with lowered eyelids and holding onto his crutches under each arm.

Aaron had started a retreat when Robert turned his head and noticed him.

“I know it looks like we were up to something, but actually I was just helping Dylan take a slash standing up. All quite innocent, but it’s a new achievement, isn’t it sweetheart?.” he giggled, swayıng on his feet..”It’s a bit tricky with the crutches. I gave him a hand.’’ He hiccupped.

“I mean I ...er … helped.”

“You’re alright, mate.” Aaron answered. He turned to Dylan. “You might think about getting him home, he’s well lathered.”

Robert leaned on Dylan.

“If you’d wanted to tell me what to do you should’ve married me, not Ted… I mean Fred.. what’z name… Ed. Yes Ed. Got my own husband now.”

Robert curled his hand around Dylan’s face and stroked his cheek with a finger, showing off his engagement ring to Aaron at the same time. But he couldn’t keep steady on his feet and fell against Dylan, knocking him off balance so that Aaron had to step forward quickly to stop him falling and then passed him back the crutch that had fallen out of his hand.

“Take him home, eh, Dylan, before he gets any worse and does some real damage.”

“Yeah. Let’s go home and fuck, Dylan. Or you could fuck me, Aaron. Ed wouldn’t need to know. Our secret.”

Dylan eyes widened and he bit his lower lip.

“Fuck you!”

He pushed a hand against Robert’s chest and set off out of the men’s room on his crutches.

Aaron closed his eyes.

“Go on. You’ve got to follow him, Robert,” He urged. He saw Robert’s face change and then suddenly he turned and threw up violently into the sink.

Aaron threw up his hands.

“What the hell are you playing at, Robert? Just get yourself together.”

Robert held on tightly to the sink.

“I can’t. Not without you.”

 

Robert woke, squinting at the morning light coming through the cracks in the heavy curtain. He moved his eyes and saw the pint glass of water and headache tablets on the bedside table. As he stretched his limbs he realized he was still dressed in his clothes from the night before. He reached out for the water, took a sip and grimaced as he felt his stomach still turning.

He could only remember fragments of the evening. But he could remember throwing up and he was sure Aaron had been with him. He had an image of being outside with Aaron, too. Had he tried to kiss him?

Fuck.

He caught the smell of frying bacon and heard Vic’s voice asking something and Dylan’s reply from the living room.

Crawling out of bed he gingerly opened a drawer and pulled out some sweatpants and a T- shirt and got changed.

Dylan avoided eye contact so he knew he was in trouble.

He sat down heavily with a pout and looked at the plate of fried food that Vic put in front of him, running a hand through his tousled hair..

“Seriously?” He asked.

“Oi! Just be grateful I’m here, you! I left Adam to get his own breakfast, you know!”

“So pour me a strong coffee, then.”

Dylan put down his knife and fork and reached for his crutches, looking out of the window.

“I know I behaved badly.” Robert said to him. He wasn’t actually quite sure how he’d behaved badly, he had a worrying feeling it was something to do with Aaron but he couldn’t remember exactly what. ”It was just the drink. You know that?”

Dylan nodded “Whatever.”

He put in his earphones, and started to listen to music, then put his phone in his pocket and limped out of the kitchen.

 

When Victoria left, Dylan went out of the house too.

Robert watched him pull on his sports shoes and fasten the laces in silence.

As he picked up some sunglasses from the dresser and put a hand on the front door, Robert called after him,

“You need to comb your hair.”

Dylan bit his lip, resting on his crutches he looked in the mirror and ran a hand through his fringe then left, banging the door behind him.

 

When Dylan got back about an hour later, he emptied a bag of chocolate bars, milk shakes and bananas onto the coffee table in front of the sofa where Robert had opened his laptop.

Still refusing to look Robert in the eye, he limped through to the bedroom and lay down on the bed.

Robert waited. Then he stood up and walked through.

He stood looking down at Dylan for a moment. Dylan opened his eyes and blinked back up at him without speaking.

Keeping eye contact, Robert pulled off his top.

Robert pulled off his sweatpants and underwear and Dylan continued to watch him as he stroked his hand over his erect cock and knelt on the bed moving over to him.

Robert reached forward, tugging down Dylan’s pants from the waistband, pulling them off.

“Come on. Help me here.” He whispered, pushing up Dylan’s T-shirt, rubbing a hand over his chest, catching his nipples with the sides of his thumb in passing. Dylan pulled off the T-shirt quickly and looked back at him with dark eyes.

Robert’s breathing was heavy as he pushed Dylan’s thighs open, pulling his hips upwards towards him.

“Are you ready to be fucked, Dylan?”

Dylan’s cock arched upwards away from his stomach in a hard line. It was answer enough.

Robert reached for the lube and coated his cock then pushed in, gliding into the hot tight space.

“Fuuuck.”

Dylan started to pant.

“Does that feel good? Tell me then?"

Robert started to thrust, setting up a fast rhythm.

Dylan didn’t want to give in, but he couldn’t help himself. He let out a small moan.

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you?”

Dylan moaned louder.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oohhh fuuck.”

Robert smiled, keeping up the pace.

“Are you going to come for me?” He asked.

He slowed down and took Dylan’s cock in his hand stroking it, stroking a thumb over the head.

“I’m so close.” Dylan whispered.

“Yeah?”

Robert kneeling held on to Dylan’s thighs and he started to thrust harder and faster.

Dylan closed his eyes tight and his hands clawed at the sheet. Then he was coming, Robert watched the white spray flying from his cock, landing on Dylan’s chest and face and grinned as he listened to his strangled moans. He watched him as he reached for himself to fist himself through the last waves.

Robert followed, gasping he pulled out and stroked himself through his climax, before laying down next to Dylan and pulling his face into a wet kiss.

He wrapped his arms around Dylan’s sweaty body with a growl and pulled him close in, so they were spooning.

“Do you think about him when you fuck me?” Dylan asked.

“Shhhh! Go to sleep.” Robert squeezed his shoulders.

 

Robert woke a couple of hours later and walked naked into the living room. Dylan was on the sofa his hair wet and combed in sleek locks and a large white towel around his waist. He was watching Doctor Who on catch up, eating a chocolate bar and drinking a milkshake.

Robert sat beside him.

“You stink.” Dylan complained taking a mouthful of the milkshake.

“You smell nice.” Robert answered putting a nose against his skin. “If you’d told me you wanted a milkshake I could’ve mixed you up a frothy one.”

He grabbed the bottle from Dylan’s hands and started to drink.

“Oi. Just get your own!” Dylan protested.

“It’s all my own, all of it, you included.”

“ But I’m not enough for you am I? Why didn’t you use a condom, Robbie, if you play away?”

“I don’t play away. Not anymore. Trust me.”

“Because he’s married? What if he wants to…?”

“Dylan, don’t. You’ve got to let this go.”

“ You don’t remember what you said last night, do you?” Dylan asked. “I don’t know… maybe you and he even..”

Robert interrupted with a hand on Dylan’s wrist. “How about we talk about that milkshake instead.”

Dylan looked back at him and shook his head.

“I”ll have that milkshake after you’ve showered.”

“Or in the shower?”

"I've had a shower."

"Have another one."

 

Robert was about to find the security guard Keith to let him know he was leaving when he saw Aaron, washed up and changed out of his overalls, walking in the direction of the office. It had been his first day back at work, but Robert had avoided him, not knowing what to say to him about Saturday night, and not knowing if he could cope with the reality of Aaron being married in the cold sober light of day.

When Aaron opened the office door and came in, Robert lowered his eyes, not wanting to focus on how the tan from the Bahamas’ sunshine made his blue eyes shine.

“You stayed late.” Robert commented “Everyone else has gone.”

“Yeah, well I was away long enough, ‘ Aaron shrugged ‘... and I wanted to finish work on that new Aston Martin’s carburettor. It’s a nice car.”

Robert looked up. “It is.’’ He let his eyes flicker over Aaron’s face before returnıng them to his computer screen. ‘Let me know when it’s ready for a test drive.”

Aaron nodded, then hesitated.

“You’re alright then? After the party? You were… pretty plastered.”

Robert looked away. His memory was still a bit patchy. But he knew Aaron had taken him home, an arm round his back. He could still feel the ghost of it there.

He stood up.

‘Sorry about that.’

Aaron looked back at him, then looked at his feet.

“Look.” Robert went on, “Can we just forget Saturday night even happened?”

Aaron blinked and bit his lip. He looked out of the office window at the evening sky.

“Course.”

“I never really thanked you, those first weeks when Dylan was so ill. I don’t know how I would have got through without you…”

He wanted to say how much he needed him still, how he wasn’t sure how to manage the future, but he knew he couldn’t, not now.

“I thought about giving you a wedding present.” His tongue flickered over his lips “I was going to give you a car,  but then I thought you’d say it was too much and maybe Ed would wonder, so I didn’t in the end, but I can if you want. You can have the Aston Martin if you’d like it. I just... I hope you’ll be happy. I hope you are happy, Aaron.”

Aaron nodded.

“No. I don’t want the car.You made the right decision, but thanks.”

Robert stepped closer for a moment but noticed that Aaron took a step back.

Aaron opened his mouth. He wanted to a tell Robert not to marry Dylan, that it would be a mistake.

‘See you tomorrow, Robert.”

 

“What are you looking so sad about?” Ross took a slice of cold pizza from the fridge and put it on a plate and into the microwave. He looked at his brother who was sitting on the sofa, cleaning his glasses with the corner of his T-shirt. “ You should be over the moon. It was like gay central at Emmerdale last night. I would’ve thought you’d have been able to pull someone from that crowd.”

“I wasn’t looking to pull.”

“Yeah, cos a life of loneliness is what you’re aiming for. Come on Finn, you should take a leaf out of Aaron and Robert’s book. They know what they’re doing.”

“Getting married… umm...no thank you. I want to live a bit first.”

Ross regarded his brother and laughed.

“Yeah cos you’re really living life to the full. Anyway, being married doesn’t get in the way of those boys.”

“How d’ya mean?”

“I saw them, Robert and Aaron, outside the Woolpack, up against the wall, after the party was over. I don’t really want to think about it to be honest. It might turn me. Anyway just saying.”

Finn blinked.

“What were they doing?”

Ross rolled his eyes.

“Well, they weren’t holding a knitting circle. What do you think they were doing?”

 

“Do you know what you’re doing?” Clive asked over lunch. “Because it doesn’t look like it. He’s very pretty, admittedly, sexy certainly, before the accident anyway, but he’s just a twink, my dear, fuck him until you’re blue in the face but why marry him?”

Robert laughed.

“Are you jealous?”

     He picked up his fork and played with the steak tartare on his plate, elbows on the table.

“So you’re not in the mood to listen, but I’m going to say it anyway,.” Clive looked at him closely.

“As a friend, the truth is sooner or later you’re going to want more. He isn’t versatile is he? But you are. To put it bluntly, how long will it be before you’re looking for someone to fuck your own sweet arse?”

Robert rolled his eyes and sitting back took a large mouthful of wine.

“And as your lawyer I don’t need to remind you that you came out of the last matrimonial mess with a considerable profit. Can you imagine the comedy of losing half of that to this boy? Why not marry another rich divorcee? Fuck the boys on the side.”

                   He noticed Robert’s jaw clench.

“Anyway, let me help you draw up a prenuptial at least.”

Dylan appeared on crutches coming back from the bathroom.

As he sat, Robert leaned over and stroking a hand over his wrist he moved in, eyes closed, for an open mouthed kiss.

“Did you have everything you want? What about dessert? Clive’s told me he wants to pay, today, an engagement present.” He looked at Clive with smile and then at his watch. “We’ve got half an hour before your appointment.”

They were going to the hospital for the results of the heart scan.

The cardiologist shook their hands and asked them to sit down.

“So the results of the scan showed us you have hypertrophic cardiomyopathy Dylan, basically, what’s happened is your heart muscle between the ventricles is too thick which effects your blood flow and that’s what made you faint, Because you are so fit as a dancer, the symptoms have been undetected.”

“ So it wasn’t to do with the steroids?”

“No,”

“Then it wasn’t my fault?”

“No.”

Dylan looked at Robert and started to cry with relief.

“See, it wasn’t my fault, It wasn’t.”

Robert held him, stroking a hand over his shoulders, kissing his forehead. The doctor waited and spoke quietly.

“Dylan, this is life threatening. You are really lucky that it’s been detected. You need surgery.”

“More surgery?”

 

“I’m glad you called me. I’d thought you’d given up on me actually. It was weeks ago. Were you avoiding me or something?”

Dylan said when he opened the door to Finn.

“Yeah, well, sorry about that. Must have been the thought of sport that put me off. Never was really all that sporty you know.”

Dylan indicated Finn's track suit.

"Anyway you’re dressed for it so let me show you my new equipment."

Dylan led him through to the bedroom where, alongside the bench and dumbbells, Dylan now had a complicated apparatus for exercising various parts of the legs and a rowing machine.

“What do you fancy? You could start with some weights and I’ll do some of these leg exercises my physio wants?” Dylan grinned.

He put on some music and watched as Finn rather shyly removed his track suit jacket to reveal a white Star Wars T-shirt.

He told Finn to lie down on the bench and work with the weights. Dylan helped him get set up. Finn took off his glasses.

“Finn your eyes are wild.” Dylan laughed.

Finn blushed.

“You must have a boyfriend ?”

“ No I um… I haven't met the right person, really.”

Finn lifted weights while Dylan worked on his legs, starting with squeezing weighted panels with his thigh muscles.

“I have to have heart surgery now.” He told Finn.

Finn rested panting after a number of lifts.

“Are you worried?”

Dylan shrugged.

“ I don’t know. I’m trying not to think about it. Robert will look after me. I’ll have more scars. Robert says some people have tattoos, we have scars.”

They decided to swap. Dylan placed his crutches down and lowered himself backwards onto the bench.

“Shall I hand you the weight?” Finn asked.

“ Would you? Just a minute.”

Dylan lying down on his back on the bench, gripped at the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it off.

Finn swallowed.

“OK. You can give me the weight now.”

Finn hesitated. Instead of handing him the weight, he knelt down and leaned over and kissed him.

“What was that for?” Dylan asked, startled.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have.”

“It’s OK. Do it again.” Dylan said quietly.

Finn leaned back down over him and slid his tongue into Dylan’s mouth. Their tongues lapped at each other stroking and circling. The music played in the background and when the track changed Finn started to pull back, but Dylan held his face softly and murmured “No! More!”  So  Finn shifted slightly so he could rest comfortably on his elbow and continued, pushing his tongue deeper.

After a while he glanced down at Dylan’s pale white chest. He could see it rise and fall with his breathing. He let his hand stroke over his skin and then touched his nipple. Dylan’s scent reached him.

They broke apart, Finn’s lips were red and wet.

“Not quite the workout I’d envisaged.”

He found his glasses and put them back on.

“I’d better go.” He said, pulling on his track suit jacket.

Dylan sat up and nodded. He watched Finn as he left the cottage.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert copes as Dylan has heart surgery. Aaron works late and responds to a surprise encounter.

When there was no space left, no room to think or feel other than focusing on the absolute now of needing to move, Robert started to ride.

“Fuck, yes! Fuck!”

He’d started out on all fours, reaching out an arm and gripping tightly to the bed head as he gasped at the sensation of being slowly filled, pushing back to take more.

“Fuck! That’s good!”

He’d shifted the position slightly.

“There?”

“Yes! Good. Oh Yes! Just like that!”

They’d set up a rhythm. Robert moaning as he felt the strokes against his prostate. Lowering his shoulders, he’d felt the sweat drip from his forehead into his eyebrows, into the corners of his eyes, into the crease of his neck under his chin.

Then he’d reached a hand back to the other man’s muscular thigh and squeezed gently, signalling him to pause.

“Lie down, eh?” He’d asked gruffly. “I want to ride you.”

So they’d shifted position. Robert lowering himself down carefully, his open thighs shaking as he balanced his weight. He’d faced away from the other man towards his feet, as he was filled again.

Then he’d set up this pace, controlling every moment, every move.

He paused, stroking himself, feeling the other man’s hands like silk circling his hips.

He bobbed lightly on his cock.

“Fuck, you feel good!”

Then he resumed, going deeper, faster, even faster.

All at once he was coming, gasping, his mouth open, cum spraying. He rode his climax using his hand again until he was totally spent and then rested, letting himself drift before finally pulling off. From under lowered lids, his wet mouth still open, he watched the other man quickly finish himself and come over his fist.

 Robert lay still on the bed, one hand resting against his forehead.

He looked at the afternoon sun shining through the cracks in the blind on Clive’s bedroom window then closed his eyes, seeing patches of yellow light reflected under his eyelids.

He couldn’t understand why he was still thinking of Aaron.

He moved his hand from his forehead to his eyes and wiped them quickly.

The other man had moved quietly off the bed, cleaning himself down with tissues and then turned back to Robert with a touch on his shoulder.

“You want me to hang around?” He asked softly.

Opening his eyes, Robert turned to him.

“No. I need to get back to the hospital. Thanks though. It was good. It helped.”

“So how is Dylan?”

“He’s really poorly. They did warn us it would be like this for the first week after the surgery but, I don’t know, he’s very tearful." Robert pulled himself up against the bedhead.

"He’s in a lot of pain. They opened his rib cage here.” He traced down his sternum with hıs fingers. "When I had my surgery, they broke my two ribs here to get to the lung." He showed his scar. "But this is worse. He won’t be able to walk for six weeks or so because he can’t use the crutches."

“That kid’s been through so much! But at least he has you.”

Dressed now, he started to move towards the door.

“Benjamin.” Robert called after him. “The envelope’s in the hall.”

“I already saw it. Ciao, Robert."

 

Less than an hour later Robert was walking into Dylan’s private room in Leeds General Hospital.

It was sıx days now since the surgery.

After the first couple of days they’d removed the chest drains and they’d made Dylan sit up for periods of time, but mostly he slept.

He was sleeping when Robert arrived, his mother sitting by the bed, focused on a puzzle book.

Robert leaned over and pressed a kiss onto Dylan’s sleeping mouth, waking him deliberately, so that he frowned and opened his eyes, squinting.

"You smell nice," he murmured.

"I washed up before I came." Robert kissed him again. ‘You, on the other hand, need a shave.’

He ran a finger over the soft dark stubble growing on Dylan’s chin and checked himself as all at once he thought of Aaron again.

He straightened up.

A nurse came in to take Dylan’s blood pressure. He smiled at Robert and Dylan’s Mum and suggested they might leave for a moment as he sorted Dylan out.

"Robbie can stay." Dylan objected.

When his Mum left, saying she’d be back the next day, the nurse started to speak.

"So Dylan, we’re going to use a suppository to help you if that’s OK with you. You haven’t been since the surgery which is normal." Dylan nodded and Robert could see the tears gathering again in the corner of his eyes.

It was just one more indignity to endure.

"It should take about fifteen minutes and I’ll be back and take you to the bathroom. OK?" He indicated the wheelchair.

Robert winked.

"Suppositories, Dylan? I think we know all about those, don’t we?"

Robert knew Dylan’s favoured Friday night cleansing routines.

"Robert, for fuck’s sake!" Dylan protested.

The nurse ignored them.

"So I’m going to turn you onto your side."  

He folded Dylan’s arms over his stomach and levered him over, then pushed a thigh forward and inserted the suppository and it was done.

After Dylan was brought back from the bathroom and back to bed, the nurse explained they would take him for a chest x-ray to see how the chest was healing. Then later the physiotherapist came and they practiced deep lung breathing to stretch the stitches from the surgery so that the wound wouldn’t heal up too tightly for his chest.

Dylan continued to complain about the feeling of a heavy weight pressing down on him as well as the intense pain.

When the physiotherapist left he started to cry again.

Robert was used to the pattern by now. He knew that Dylan was tired and needed to sleep, he put the morphine button back into Dylan’s hand then took off his shoes and lay on the bed next to him with a hand stroking his hair, waiting for him to drift off.

When he was sure that Dylan was sleeping he started to extract himself. He would probably sleep now until dinner and he should really go back to the car lot and continue to catch up on the work.

There was a knock.

Looking up Robert saw Finn put his head round the door.

"Hi! Finn!"

Finn took in Dylan’s sleeping form.

"I didn’t come at a good time, did I?"

"No. He won’t wake up for a couple of hours now. But if you can come back, that would be amazing. He would be so glad to see you, and if you’re here around dinner time, they’re really having trouble persuading him to eat. Having you there will help."

"Do you think he’s well enough to want to see me?"

Robert hesitated for a second.

"I’m sure he will."

Finn stepped into the room but stayed near the door. Robert tried not to smile when he saw the sizeable teddy bear in Finn’s hand. Obviously a gift.

"Look. I can’t come back anyway this evening. I need to work, so if you can…"

Finn nodded.

"Well I can hang out a bit in Leeds and come back in a couple of hours. I’m not working and it’s not as if anyone will miss me."

Robert patted his shoulder.

"Thanks Finn! He’ll like that I’m sure."

 

Aaron put the bonnet down on the Triumph Spitfire and looked at his watch. It was already after nine. Now the Rugby season had officially started Ed’s training sessions had extended so he always had a late night on Thursdays.

Aaron had decided to stay and get the job done. Robert hadn’t been at work all week with Dylan in hospital again. At the back of his mind Aaron wanted to do something just to be there for Robert, and it kept his head busy.

He shrugged out of his overalls and looked for Keith, asking him for the keys for the office.

‘Just going to put the Spitfire’s keys in the cabinet and then I’ll be off, mate.’

As he walked towards the office, he got a text from Ed.

**_On my way. Shall I bring something with me?_ **

He texted back

**_Food, beer. I worked late, too. There’s nothing at home._ **

**_OK! Nandos ?_ **

**_Sounds good_ **

The office was dark. Aaron unlocked the door and let himself in. The room was warm and airless. He knew Robert was there even before he fumbled for the light switch. He was lying on the leather Chesterfield, shirt draped over the end, wearing a white T-shirt and blue trousers, blonde hair tousled and eyes scrunched up tight in sleep. Aaron turned the light off again hastily. He didn’t want to wake him.

He hesitated by the door, unsure what to do.

As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he could make out Robert’s form. The flickering coloured lights from forecourt reflected through the office window and onto Robert’s face, his forehead and cheeks shining.

From the road, he could hear cars approaching and then racing away, vanishing into the night and at the same time his breathing, racing in and out.  He needed to leave but he was held there. All at once Robert stirred. Aaron put a hand to the door and waited, as soon as he settled he would leave.

"Aaron."

Robert’s voice in the dark wasn’t a question. Aaron approached him.

Roberts arms reached for him.

"Kiss me."

Aaron kissed him.

Just then, just that moment, nothing could stop him.

Robert’s warm lips soft against his mouth, his hands stroking down his cheeks.

 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron change the footing of their relationship after Aaron invites him back to his apartment with Ed. Robert helps Dylan to adjust to being back at home after the hospital. Dylan hears news from Louise his dance partner that makes him even more regretful than ever that he can no longer dance.

They pressed their lips together in the darkness, barely breathing, Robert holding Aaron’s face in his hands.

There was a moment when Aaron thought this could only end one way. That they were going to make love. Even though he was married and being married was supposed to keep him safe from this. When Robert kissed him he always felt like he was falling off the edge of the world. He had to hang on by the tips of his fingernails, fighting the urge to let go.

Then all at once he tasted salt on Robert’s lips and pulled back confused, placing a hand on Robert’s shoulder.

“ WH.. what?”

He searched Robert’s face in the dark.

“I’m fine. I”m fine. Honestly.”

Aaron could hear the thickness in Robert’s voice. He knew Robert wasn’t fine.

“Tell me. You can talk to me. You know that, don’t you?”

“You have Ed.”

Aaron could hear the tinge of reproach in Robert’s voice.

“But that doesn’t mean you can’t talk to me.”

They sat shoulder to shoulder on the Chesterfield, thighs touching. Robert’s body, newly disturbed from sleep, radiating heat in the unlit room.

“I’m trying my best. I really am.”

Aaron nodded.

“He’s just a kid, Aaron. I mean, he’s still a teenager. His body’s a wreck. He’s so ill and I just feel so... useless.”

“Well. You’re not. Not to him.”

“How did you cope with Jackson? Sorry, I shouldn’t ask. It’s none of my business.”

“I don’t think I did cope.” Aaron answered him. “I took it one day at a time I suppose and some of those days were alright, some of them weren’t. That’s all you can do. Think about the other person and try to be good enough.”

“Sorry.”

Aaron could feel Robert’s eyes on him in the dark.

“Why?”

“I need you. I can’t bear this. I’m not strong like you.”

“You’re doing fine.”

“I’m sorry I kissed you.”

 _Are you?_ Aaron wanted to ask. It wasn’t the first time after all. At the Woolpack, after the engagement party, when Robert had been so drunk and they’d kissed and more against the wall outside in the dark. Aaron felt his cheeks colour at the memory.

“It’s OK.” He made a decision. “Listen come back to mine. Don’t stay here on your own.”

“Ed’ll be there.”

“He’s not going to bite you. I don’t want to leave you here, not like this.”

 

Ed was too polite to show the surprise he felt with more than a quick flicker across the face, instantly replaced with a gentlemanly handshake and a smile.

“Only thing is, if I’d known, I’d have bought more Nandos!”

“I already ate.” Robert lied.

“No... look... we can share.” Aaron said. ”Just sit down.”

Robert sat at the kitchen table while Ed got out three plates and heated them in the microwave and Aaron handed out the beer.

Robert glanced surreptitiously around the apartment, so different now from when he and Aaron had come to view it, when Dylan was first in hospital and Robert depended on Aaron just to make it from one day to the next. He looked at the photos of Ed and Aaron together in Paris. There was a photo of them in front of the Eiffel Tower. Aaron was laughing and Ed had an arm around his shoulder.

“Robert!”

He looked up.

“Sorry?”

“Plain or spicy rice, mate?” Aaron repeated Ed's question, his brow furrowed.

Robert shook his head.

“Whichever.”

“He likes spice.” Aaron said to Ed, who was serving.

Robert had his own picture in front of the Eiffel Tower. He touched his phone in his pocket.

They sat and ate in silence until Ed spoke.

“How’s Dylan? He had heart surgery for HCM, is that right?” He asked. “You know it kills a lot of athletes? Rugby players too. He’s lucky. He may not have been diagnosed and then he could have just gone.” He snapped his fingers to illustrate the point.

Robert blinked and spoke sharply.

“Look he’s not out of the woods yet. He’s still very ill.”

“Sorry. I just wanted to look on the positive side.”

“Well. You don’t know anything so...”

Robert put down his fork and pushed back his chair wondering what he was doing there. Aaron started to speak.

“Ed, do you remember where we put that Irish whiskey?  Robert would probably like it. We don’t really drink whiskey.” Aaron turned to Robert. “Some Dingles who live near Derry gave it to us...” His voice trailed off.

Robert looked at his face. So the whiskey had been a wedding gift.

He stood up.

“I’m intruding here. I should get back to Emmerdale.”

Ed, who’d found the whiskey bottle in a drinks rack next to the fridge, looked at his watch.

“I have a better idea. It’s late and you’re exhausted. Have a whiskey and a shower and stay the night. You can christen the spare room. It’s the least we can do. It must be terrible, what you’re going through.”

“I’m not going through anything. It’s Dylan who’s ill.”

Robert clenched his jaw but took the tumbler of whiskey and took a mouthful of the fiery liquid.

 

Vic brought over a drink from the bar and sat down next to Finn.

“Penny for them? You look far far away, dear!”

Finn sighed.

“I don’t know. I was just thinking about Dylan. I didn’t stay long because he really isn’t very well yet. But do you think Robert really will marry him?”

“Well, they’re engaged, so when Dylan’s better I suppose they will.”

“ And do you think they should?”

Vic laughed.

“Why? Because of the age gap or what? I’m pretty sure Robert adores him.”

Finn shrugged. ”I don’t know. I know he’s your brother, but I wouldn’t want to see Dylan get hurt.”

“You’re a nice friend to Dylan.” Vic squeezed his arm affectionately. “You don’t fancy him do you?” She joked.

“Do you think Robert’s capable of being faithful?” Finn went on.

“For god’s sake Finn. He’s not that bad.”

 

After the shower Robert wrapped the bath towel around his waist and stepped out of the bathroom. Ed and Aaron were still in the living room watching late night sports news on the sofa, sitting side by side. Aaron glanced over and quickly looked away, lowering his eyes.

“Do you need anything?” Ed asked.

“No. Thanks. Good night.”

Later, through the wall, he could hear their voices and drawers opening and closing as they went to bed. He was sure he heard his name but he couldn’t make out anything else. He swallowed and held his breath trying to listen, staring at the pitch blackness of the room dreading what he might hear next. Then there was silence. He wondered how they slept. Did they spoon? Did Aaron shuffle back tightly against Ed so their bodies touched? Did Aaron’s heat and the movement of his breathing carry Ed off into sleep, like it did for Robert? He frowned and closed his eyes, willing himself to sleep.

 

_Aaron was driving. Robert glanced at his thighs on the driving seat, at his forearms reaching out to the steering wheel. They would be at the hotel soon. Robert would undress him and they would make love. Robert would take his time, listening to Aaron unravel. He would wait. Aaron would come hard, telling him that he loved him. Robert would taste the thick white liquid on his skin and feed it back to his lips._

_He looked back at the road but suddenly the car was skidding out of control. He grabbed the wheel. When he turned to look, it wasn’t Aaron driving after all, it was Dylan. The car spun sickeningly in the air, and Robert was thrown heavily onto the grass. He couldn’t see Dylan. At last he spotted him some distance away, his chest open and bleeding, his eyes closed. He ran towards him._

_Chas was standing next to him._

_“This is you. Everybody that hangs around you eventually gets hurt.”_

_Robert took off his coat and wrapped it around Dylan._

_“Shut up!” He cried, but he knew it was too late. Dylan was cold in his arms._

 

He walked into the kitchen in his boxers and white T-shirt to get a glass of water and a headache tablet. He opened the door of each kitchen cabinet to see if he could find where they were kept. In the cottage they were in the cupboard with the breakfast spreads, the jams, marmalades and the peanut butter that Dylan loved so much.

He heard a noise and turned to see Aaron standing by the kitchen door. He was wearing sweatpants, naked from the waist up.

Robert drew in his breath at the sight of him, the swell of his chest and his tight stomach dusted with soft dark hair and every scar that Robert knew so well from counting and recounting, tracing each one with his eyes, with his fingertips, with his mouth.

He leaned back against the kitchen counter.

“I was looking for headache tablets. I think I overdid the whiskey.”

Aaron stepped forward.

“They’re here.” He reached up to a higher cupboard and as he did his arm brushed against Robert so that Robert, without thinking, turned and moved forward to kiss him. Aaron leaned back and for a moment they looked at each other before their mouths crashed together.

Robert raised his hand to Aaron’s back, touching his fingertips against his shoulder blades. Aaron’s body was warm and Robert moved closer against him.

This time he opened his mouth looking for his tongue.

“ Aaron.” He breathed his name so quietly, open mouthed, trying to control the craving he felt.

He felt Aaron’s hand lift and touch his thigh. A caress down his thigh muscle.

Aaron pulled back panting.

“My God Robert! What are we doing!”

Robert took Aaron’s hand and led him silently into his room, closing the door, not turning the light on.

“We can’t do this.” It was barely a whisper. But pressing up against him, Robert could feel how hard he was, how much he wanted it, too.

Robert moved to his knees and peeled down Aaron’s sweatpants. His hands roamed down circling over Aaron’s hip bones then back over his butt cheeks, down his hard thighs. He let his tongue dart forward and touch a few times against Aaron’s cock, before taking the tip in his mouth and running his tongue all round his cockhead making him wet, feeling him shudder.

“Robert! What are you doing? We’ll get caught!”  Aaron whispered, but his hands rested in Robert’s blonde hair.

“We won’t.” Robert whispered back.

He took Aaron deep into his throat and Aaron rocked into his mouth.

Robert stood. He pulled off his T-shirt and took down his boxers then turned, placing his knuckles on the bed.

“Fuck me Aaron. Do it now!” He said quietly in the dark.

Aaron wrapped his arm around the front of Robert’s chest and pushed inside him.

Even their bodies slapping together in the dark room sounded like a cacophony in the quiet of the night.

But before they could stop Aaron's body tensed and he was coming, shooting his load deep inside Robert who followed instantly, coming over his fist.

“Sorry. I’ve messed up the covers.” His voice shook as he laughed. He took the bath towel and laid it down on the bed then lay down on it, pulling Aaron down beside him till they got their breath back.

“Aaron. Keep seeing me.”

“I’m married.”

“Meet me for lunch. Tomorrow. Today.”

“Like an affair?”

“Don’t fight it. Don’t fight me. It’s going to happen, Aaron. You know it is. I did what you wanted. I stood by Dylan. I’ll stand by him. But I need you. And you need me, too. It’s what we both want.”

“If Ed finds out, it’ll destroy him.”

“Then we’ll be careful.”

 

Robert sat behind Dylan in the shower, holding the shower head in one hand and rubbing soap over Dylan’s back with the other as he washed him down. He moved his hand vigorously over his skin, feeling the bumps of his spine as he travelled up to his neck and to the sharp neat edge of his hairline.

The barber had been round earlier and when he’d left, Robert had run his thumb down over Dylan’s newly smooth jawline and fingered his freshly cropped hair.

“All you need now is some striped pyjamas.” He’d laughed.

“I think the hair’s gone down inside my T-shirt. I feel really itchy.” Dylan responded.

So he’d helped Dylan undress and then undressed himself and lifted him from the wheelchair into the shower.

First he’d shampooed Dylan’s hair and his own hair at the same time, and then rinsed them before washing Dylan’s back.

Now, he slipped his stool round so he was sideways on to Dylan. He could see the red welt of collagen running down the centre of Dylan’s chest where his scar from the surgery was starting to heal. He washed down the area gently with soap and picked up a towel to pat it dry. He noticed that the skin seemed hot and tight. He looked searchingly at Dylan’s face, his cheeks looked flushed, maybe from the steam and hot water of the shower but maybe...

“Does that feel sore? I think you might have an infection there, Dylan. Let’s tell the nurse tomorrow, eh?”

He washed under Dylan’s arms with the soap.

“Do you want to shave? Now you’re all fresh and trim? Do you want to do it or do you want me to do it?”

He took the razor.

“Do you want to shave down here, too?”

He stroked a hand down over Dylan’s pubic hair.

Before the accident Dylan as a dancer had been ultra body conscious, manshaving, grooming, Robert used to tease him but he’d liked it really, he liked that it mattered to Dylan.

Now he tilted his head sideways and Robert saw the familiar tears starting to roll down his cheeks.

“Come on, Dylan, love. Make an effort.”

It was hard. It was like they were all back to square one.

“Who care’s about my fucking useless body anyway?”

“I care!” Robert protested “And I can think of all sorts of uses for your body. Yeah? Just don’t use the vacuum cleaner!”

Dylan looked at him in confusion.

“It’s what the brochure says.”

After the shower, Robert helped Dylan dress in shorts and a T-shirt and then climbed into bed next to him with the brochure from the hospital about post heart surgery do’s and don’ts. Dylan closed his eyes and frowned while Robert read aloud.

_“Avoid lifting heavy weights._

_Don’t do any vacuuming for the first six to eight weeks._

They obviously don’t know you. I don’t think you even know where the vacuum cleaner’s kept, do you?”

_“Do brush your hair.”_

He ran his fingers through his short hair again.

 _“_ You don’t have enough hair left to brush anyway.

_Do suck your fiance’s cock until he comes down your throat.”_

Dylan opened his eyes.

“For fuck’s sake, Robbie!”

“No that’s what it says. Look…” He continued to read.

_“You may resume sexual activity after your surgery. Just remember that during the first eight weeks after surgery, any activity or position that causes pain or pulling across your chest, such as bearing weight on your arms, should be avoided._

So no doggy style for you for a few weeks, eh?”

Dylan’s phone started to ring and Robert picked it up from the bedside table.

“It’s Louise.“ He handed the phone over. Louise, Dylan’s ex dance partner had kept in close touch with him ever since the accident.

Dylan took the phone.

“Hi Lulu. Yes, Robbie brought me home. I’m OK. When are you coming to see me?”

Robert continued to read the brochure while he talked.

When the call ended Dylan let the phone slip from his hand onto the bed. Robert saw him biting his lip, blinking.

“She’s going to New York. She’s got a dance contract with a theatre ...”

A blackbird started singing on the lawn through the French windows. A beautiful song. Robert saw another bird, maybe it’s mate, watching from a rose bush. He recalled the brochure had recommended light gardening.

“Wow’’ He nodded ‘’Good for Louise.”

He slipped off the bed.

“I’ll put the kettle on.”

Once in the kitchen he closed the door. He stood for a moment in the silence.  Tea, he was going to make tea. Aaron liked to drink tea in big mugs with too much sugar. His hands shook as he filled the kettle. He hated Dylan being upset like this. He ran a hand over his eyes then glanced at the whiskey bottle and at the clock. Was it too early? He didn’t care. He poured himself a shot and drank it down.

When he went back in with the tea and some of Vic’s fruit cake, Dylan had already fallen asleep.

Robert put the tray down by the bed and drew the curtains over the French windows, shutting out the garden.

He looked at Dylan’s sleeping face in the dark room and for a moment he looked so still Robert felt his heart accelerate crazily. He placed a hand on his cheek and felt the warmth then gripped onto the bed head and held himself steady for a moment as he breathed out in relief.

He leaned down and kissed Dylan’s sleeping mouth so that he half opened his eyes and said something inaudible in protest before closing them again and falling deeper into sleep.

Dylan’s phone was still on the covers where he’d dropped it. As Robert went to pick it up to put it on the bedside table it buzzed and the screen showed notification of a text message from Finn.

**_Let me know a good time to visit_ **

Robert glanced at the teddy bear that Dylan had brought home from the hospital propped up on the empty sıde of the bed.

It was good for Dylan that Finn and he were having a little flirtation. But maybe he should keep an eye on them. He took his tea to the living room, closed the door and hesitated, then texted Aaron.

 

They both left the car lot in separate cars, parking on opposite sides of the street as they arrived at Clive’s apartment. Robert unlocked the door and Aaron followed him over the threshold. Once inside, Robert took off his jacket and placed it over the back of a chair. Aaron opened the fridge and took out a couple of beers.

Robert pulled Aaron towards him, his hands gripping onto his black hoodie. He wet his lips and closing his eyes, moved in for a kiss.

Putting his hands down to Aaron’s waist he started to pull the hoodie off but Aaron laughed and, eyes shining, slapped his hands away.

“No! Me!” He said, narrowing his eyes.

He reached forwards and pulled off Robert’s tie, working it loose, pulling it over his head. Then he started to undo the buttons on his shirt and, picking up the beer, inclined his head towards the bedroom so that Robert followed him there.

Robert let Aaron undress him, then stood watching Aaron as he pulled his own clothes off, stepping out of his trousers and boxers, leaving them on the bedroom floor.

“Wait.” Aaron said. Pulling off his wedding ring, he placed it on the top of the chest of drawers.

“And yours.” He took Robert’s hand and worked off the silver engagement ring and placed it next to his own.

“Now you’re all mine!” he nodded, wetting his lips.

“Is that right?” Robert nodded back.

They fell on the bed together and rolled over so that Aaron had Robert pinned on his back, his arms raised above his head, holding him by his wrists.

“Just mine, Robert Jacob Sugden.”

Aaron’s hard cock pressed against him as he moved rhythmically over him.

Pulling his wrists free, Robert slapped Aaron’s hips with an open hand, grinning.

“Move up here! I want your cock.” He licked his lips.

Aaron nodded and moved up on his knees until Robert was able to take his cock in his mouth still lying on his back, Aaron above him. Aaron moved with a fluid movement, fucking his mouth, moaning at how good it felt, so that Robert smiled and then choked suddenly as he struggled to breathe and had to hold his hips tight to stop him and push him back.

“You liked that, eh?” He whispered.

Aaron smiled back, his eyes dark. When he kissed him again he could taste himself on Robert’s lips.

“Are you going to fuck me now or what?”  Robert asked.

Robert leaned over to the bedside drawer and took out a condom packet. When he rolled a condom over Aaron’s cock, he squeezed with his fingers until Aaron twitched and bounced under his touch. He found the lube. After coating his fingers he reached down and rubbed them over his hole.

“Come on, then Aaron. What are you waiting for? A written invitation?”

Aaron pushed in and they waited, panting, looking at each other, searching each other’s eyes.

Then Aaron started to move.

“Fuck, Aaron! I love your fucking cock!” Robert whispered.

“I love your tight fucking arse!” Aaron answered,

“Aaron, Aaron! Fuck me hard. Oh yes! Yes! Like that!”

Aaron moved going deeper. He could feel Robert’s fingers pressing into his biceps as he held onto him. He wondered if they would leave a bruise.

He pulled out for a moment, leaving Robert gasping.

He placed a hand under his hips and shifted him sideways, shuffling his thighs and this time it was Aaron’s turn to slap Robert hard and then reenter him, grinning as Robert moaned loudly. He thrust from this sideways on angle and held onto Robert’s cock stroking him and thrusting in turn. He knew just how to move, where to stroke to make Robert give up control at last and he smiled at his victory as he saw him surrender.

He knew from Robert’s face when he was close. Reaching a hand up he rubbed his finger over his nipple and heard him moan louder. He thrust his hips faster, going deeper and watched as Robert mouth fell open and all at once he was gasping as his orgasm hit. Aaron came with him. They rode it out together till Aaron fell on his back and both lay shoulder to shoulder looking up at the ceiling. Aaron turned his face to look at Robert who caught his eye and winked back. Aaron turned away again, trying to hide his smile.

 

When he came home Dylan was in the kitchen in his wheelchair. He’d managed to make a pot of tea.

Robert was impressed. He placed his hand on Dylan’s head and pushing it back kissed his mouth.

“You look well.” Dylan's face was pink and his lips were red.

“One of my college tutors came to see me.”

“Is that the one that fucked you? I don’t want him anywhere near you.”

“Don’t worry. He doesn’t want to fuck me anymore after taking a look at the state of me now.”

“Tell me his name and I’ll report him to the college.”

“Just drop it. Robbie!” Dylan laughed. ”You’re in a good mood.” He added.

“Sold the Aston Martin for a good price. It deserved a good home that car. So I’m happy, as you see.”

When they finished the tea, Dylan went to the living room and turned on the TV.

Robert cleared the kitchen.

“Ugh! What’s that?”

“What?”

“There’s a dead blackbird in the rubbish bin.”

“Oh God! I know! It’s been singing for days but I just found it dead on the lawn. We’ll miss it singing. It had such a sweet voice.”

 


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Robert spend time together. Dylan has a bad night and gets an infection. He needs to spend more time in hospital and makes a decision about his future. Aaron has a toy for Robert. Robert asks Aaron to deepen his commitment.

Robert opened his eyes to find Aaron pressed up against him, breathing lightly in sleep. He let his mouth brush against Aaron’s shoulder, pulling the cover back up over them both before settling again with his hand around Aaron’s waist. This was everything he wanted, everything. He heard his phone buzzing on the bedside table and ignored it. Whoever it was could wait. He closed his eyes, inhaling Aaron’s scent.

When he woke up again, Aaron was touching his arm.

“Robert!”

Robert looked up. Aaron’s eyes were smiling. He was already showered and dressed and was combing gel through his hair with a last glance, chin raised, in the bedroom mirror.

Outside the sky was turning dark.

“Hey you! Sleepy head! Last time I looked you had a business to run and I for one, am going home, mate. Just don’t tell the boss I skipped off work this afternoon, eh?” He winked.

He picked up his wedding ring and Robert watched him as he slipped it back on then found his car keys and turned to go.

Robert called his name.

“Aaron!”

Aaron turned and looked back at him

”Remember what we said.”

“We were looking at cars at a dealer’s out near York. I know.”

“Tomorrow, then.”

“Tomorrow.”

 

The bed cover had long since fallen abandoned onto the floor. Robert lay still on his stomach on the sheet, his head on one side resting against his arm. Aaron lay on his side next to him, his head on the pillow. Robert could see the tracks of dried sweat glistening on his face and throat from the exertion of their love making.

Aaron’s eyes moved over him, scanning his back, his backside, his thighs.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m looking at you. What do you think I’m doing?”

Robert grinned, frowning.

“Why?”

“Cos I like what I see.” Aaron voice was hoarse. “Don’t I?”

“Good.” Robert smiled, but he noticed a struggle in Aaron’s face too. “What?”

Aaron shook his head.

“I just... I wish it was mine, Robert. Just mine. You know?”

Robert looked back at him steadily.

“I know.”

They hadn’t mentioned Dylan or Ed, not in that context anyway. Not here in the bedroom. In this sanctuary.

So Robert hesitated before speaking again.

“But for the record, what you see right now is yours and only yours. He doesn’t go there, so you could say it belongs to you.”

Aaron nodded, raising himself up onto an elbow.

“I think I knew that, but … thanks for saying it anyway.”

Aaron tugged at his cock.

“So if it’s mine, give it up to me.” He went on.

Robert raised his eyebrows with a smile.

“You want to go again? I thought you’d be done.”

Aaron glided over between Robert thighs, pulling him up from the hips.

“Oh I’m far from done, mate.”

 

“So Adam reckons that the referee was bent. That last penalty was a joke. Either that or he was blind and there was no way that was an offside before. Now they have to play the next match without...”

“Shut up!”

Robert moved over him, lining up to push inside, pulling up his thighs.

“Fuuuck!”

Robert watched with amusement as Aaron’s eyes scrunched up and his lips pressed together.

“Robert…”

He looked down as he pushed hard, entering into the hot space, feeling Aaron’s muscles squeeze around him.

“Ooww! OK! Too tight? Just concentrate will ya!”

He pulled out again. Tugging at Aaron’s hips, he shuffled down and lowered his mouth. He used his tongue, listening to Aaron gasp then sat back on his heels and taking more lube he gently worked his middle finger and listened to Aaron moan at last.

“Got your attention now, have I?”

This time he pushed in easily, gliding deep inside before pulling back and setting up a fast rhythm.

After they came, he lay back with a hand behind his head.

“So what was the score in the end?”

“What score?” Aaron asked.

Robert closed his eyes and grinned.

 

Robert woke up and opened his eyes in the dark. Dylan wasn’t next to him. He sat up quickly reaching for the light and at the same time noticed a wetness of the sheets under his legs.

As he pulled the cord above the bed to turn on the light, he called out Dylan’s name.

His wheelchair by the bed was empty. His heart raced as he scanned the room until he found him. He breathed out with relief.

He was sitting on the floor by the chest of drawers, his good leg bent up at the knee while his other leg was spread at an angle in front of him. He was in the process of changing his clothes, his T-shirt on the floor, tugging off his shorts with a new pair beside him.

“What are you doing? Why didn’t you wake me?” A glance at his phone told him it was three thirty in the morning.

“Get out of the bed, Robbie.” Dylan muttered shaking his head, his lips curled.

Robert ran a hand through his hair in confusion. Dylan started to pull a clean T-shirt on over his head.

“GET OUT OF THE FUCKING BED!

I WET THE BED!”

Robert closed his eyes and sighed.

“It’s OK.”

“IT’S NOT OK!”

“It’s OK I’ll change the sheets. It’s normal.”

He pushed the sheet back.

“IT’S NOT FUCKING NORMAL!”

Robert’s hand was wet and sticky from the sheet. He held it up.

“Love, you didn’t pee the bed. You had a wet dream. It’s jiz. OK, maybe a bit of pee, too.” He raised his eyebrows.

He watched Dylan lift his elbow in front of his face and saw his shoulders shaking.

“Fuck! I hate myself! I hate this!I hate everything!” he wailed. He smashed his fist against the chest of drawers. He started to bang his head sideways against the furniture. Robert had never seen him like this.

He jumped out of the bed and grabbed him by the shoulders to stop him. Dylan flailed with his fists and elbows back at Robert, catching his mouth with a blow that drew blood from his lips.

“You’re going to burst your stitches! Just stop!”

He tried to hold on but instead Dylan fell back and banged his head jarringly on the floor. He lay still, panting.

“Dylan! Dylan! Are you OK?”

Robert stroked a hand over his cheek. Suddenly Robert’s face crumpled. Dylan stared up in amazement as Robert started to cry, wiping his eyes fiercely.

“I can’t bear to see you upset like this. I love you. It was just a wet dream after all. Everyone gets them. God I get them sometimes! Why are you making such a fuss?”

Dylan started sobbing too.

He reached up his arms and wrapped them round Robert’s back.

“I just want my life back.” Dylan sobbed.

Robert found an eiderdown from the cupboard and spread it on the floor and dragged pillows off the bed.

“Here.”

He pulled Dylan into his arms.

“Didn’t you notice you were having an erotic dream? What were you dreaming?” Robert teased gently.

“I used to have wet dreams sometimes when I was like fifteen, sixteen then I stopped I think. Moved on to better things I suppose.” Dylan answered, burying his face in the crook of Robert’s arm. Robert pulled his face up, holding him by the chin.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of. What it means is that it’s time we started to make love again.”

“You don’t want to! You haven’t touched me since I came home.”

“'Cos I thought you weren’t ready. I didn’t want to pressure you.”

“I thought you didn’t want me any more.”

“Don’t be stupid. Course I want you!”

To prove it he moved his mouth over Dylan’s and kissed him slowly, exploring with his tongue, then pulled away closing his eyes.

“Now sleep.”

 

In the morning Robert woke Dylan early.

“Put your arms around me. I changed the bed.”

With a bit of a struggle at the weight of him, he carried him back into bed and then lay down beside him, pulling him close.

“Aren’t you going to work?”

“I’m going. Just give me half an hour. I called Diane to look after you. I don’t want to leave you on your own.”

Dylan turned. He stroked his hand over Robert’s pecs and down to his stomach.

Robert raised his eyebrows and leaned into a kiss.

“Yeah? Is there something you wanted?”

They heard a voice in the living room.

“It’s only me, pet! Robert asked me to come over. I’ll put the kettle on.” The bedroom door opened slowly “Dylan?”

 

“Can you drive with a butt plug in?” Aaron had come to the office, wearing his overalls. He stood with his hands in his pockets in front of Robert’s desk. There were two other members of personnel in sales. One was on the forecourt with a customer, the other was on the phone. Robert licked his tongue over his lips and glanced over, wondering if they were close enough to hear.

“What did you say?”

Aaron nodded and repeated himself.

“Can you drive with a butt plug in, Robert? Cos I’ve one in my pocket and I’m gifting it to you. So go to the little boys' room and put it in like a good boy, and I’ll be there to take it out for you at lunch time.”

“A butt plug?” Robert grinned, then straightened his face quickly as the door opened and Robert’s sales staff member walked in with the customer.

“Yeah, spark plug.” Aaron said looking up. “So I changed all the spark plugs and the engine’s purring like a dream now.”

“Do you want me to come and take a look?” Robert squinted.

“Could be a good idea, boss, if you think you’ve got time, like.”

He stood up and walked with Aaron out of the office towards the workshop.

“I need to shower and.. you know prepare if I’m going to wear one.”

“Not my problem, mate.”

“OK. Give it to me then. I’ll use the work shower.”

Aaron slipped his hand into the deep overall pocket and pulled out the stainless steel plug, wrapped in a velvet drawstring bag.

“They say a bottle of sparkling water does a good job. Oh and don’t forget to lube.” Aaron smirked.

Robert so wanted to slam him up against the wall and take him then and there.

“Who are you?” He narrowed his eyes.

Aaron leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

“I’m the bloke you’re having an affair with, remember?”

 

“Yes. There’s a bit of an infection in the wound.”

Darren leaned back and pulled off the surgical gloves with a frown and then put on a fresh pair. He pulled out a thermometer.

“Just put that under your tongue.”

He waited, hands on hips.

“Is it sore? Itchy, too, I bet?”

Dylan nodded.

“So what do we do about that then?” Diane asked, hovering with a tray of tea and Vic’s fruit cake, nearly gone now.

Darren looked at the thermometer.

“You have a slightly raised temperature, too.”

He took some notes. Dylan pulled his T-shirt back on and Darren helped him with the sleeve of his tracksuit top which he zipped up before lying back down on the cushions on the sofa.

“Let’s give you some ibuprofen for now.”

Darren took out some tablets and asked Diane for a glass of water. He watched as Dylan swallowed them down. Then he took off the second pair of gloves and, nodding gratefully to Diane, sat down to drink the tea and eat his cake.

“So what do we do. Darren?” Diane asked again.

“It’s quite normal. Happens in around half post op cases, so don’t worry about it. I’ve cleaned it with some anti septic and that should work. The best thing is to go back and see the surgeon. He’ll just want to check the infection is just on the incision and nowhere else. He’ll probably prescribe some antibiotics and that’ll clear it up.”

Diane nodded.

“So we need to tell Robert, Dylan. He’s had quite a rush on at work this week, but if he can’t take you, pet, I will.”

 

Robert shifted on the car seat. When he sat still he couldn’t feel it. But when he moved a certain way then he could feel it stroke against him tantalizingly. He panted at the thought of Aaron removing it, knowing how he would tease, knowing the plug would have stretched him open and how Aaron would replace it with his own thick cock. He looked down, his suit trousers already ruined with a spreading wet patch at the front.

It was a good thing there was a spare suit hanging up in the back of the car.

He started the engine when his phone rang.

“Diane.” He coughed. “How’s everything going?”

He listened with a frown as she explained what Darren had said.

“And now Dylan’s complaining he feels sick. If you make the appointment, Robert, I can take him in for you. I know you’re having a busy week.”

Robert hesitated, rolling his eyes upwards, then turned the ignition off and leaned back against the car seat.

“Can I talk to him?”

He waited.

“Dylan! Are you feeling poorly?”

“Just a headache.”

“Diane says you feel sick.”

“Just a bit.”

Robert put his head forward and raised his fingers to his brow.

“OK.” He said. “Sit tight. I’m coming to get you. We’ll go to the hospital, right? Give the phone back to Diane.”

When he heard Diane’s voice he told her to get him ready with a hospital bag made up just in case. They all knew the drill by now.

He stopped on the way at a service station and visited the men’s room, emerging with his clean suit, sports bag in hand.

 

Aaron sat in his car outside Clive’s, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. It was over half an hour now. He couldn’t understand it. He’d seen Robert set off from the business in his car, so where’d he got to? He bit his lip frowning. His finger hovered over Robert’s name in his contacts. He closed his eyes. He loved how Robert had him doing things he would never normally do. His appetite for Robert was never satisfied. He decided to wait ten more minutes.

When the phone rang he jumped.

“Where are you, Robert?” He snapped.

“Um, well I have no idea where Robert is…”

It was Ed.

“But I’m at your work and you’re not here. I came to take you out for lunch.”

“Right. Sorry. I’m ...er...out buying spare parts with Robert.” Aaron blushed.

“But you’ve lost him by the sound of things. So shall I wait?”

Aaron looked at his watch. His timekeeping at work was out the window anyway.

“Look. Tell you what. I’ll meet you at home instead.”

“Yeah?”

He could hear Ed smile.

 

At the hospital, the heart surgeon took one look at Dylan and put him on an antibiotic drip and a heart monitor.

“You did the right thing coming in. We’ll keep you in for the next forty eight hours and then decide if you’re well enough to go home.”

Robert sat beside him, one hand trailing absently on the bed, while he scrolled down his messages with the other.

Fred popped a head round the door.

“Hey! I heard my favourite patient was here.”  Robert stood and rolling back his shoulders he shook his hand.

“So how are the legs holding up?”

Robert answered.

“ Good. Except the problem is, with the heart surgery at the moment, everything is on hold. Most of the exercises that Dylan needs to do for his legs pull at the chest too, so he has to wait and he can’t use his crutches, either.”

Dylan frowned and pulled himself up slightly on the bed.

“Doctor, I need to know, will my right leg ever get better?”

Robert turned to him in surprise.

“Because if it doesn’t, then I’ll never be able to walk, will I?”

Fred grimaced.

“It’s hard to say…”

Dylan searched Fred’s face looking for the truth and then nodded and reached for Robert’s hand. He held on tightly. Robert saw a tear spilling down his cheek.

“Then I think I decided.” His voice was just audible. “I want you to amputate it.”

Robert sank back to his seat pulling his hand away, but Dylan held on, not letting go.

“We didn’t discuss this!” Robert objected. “Fred! We need time to talk about this before deciding.”

“It’s not your decision.” Dylan said it quietly.

Robert put his face on Dylan’s arm and Dylan stroked his hair.

“It’s OK Robbie. We tried, we really did! But it’s time I took my life back. It was Louise getting the job in New York that made me think. I was a dancer, but I have to let that go. I have to find my way. I have to find a new way.”

 

Robert stayed the night on a fold out bed in Dylan’s private room at the hospital. In the morning his Mum and Dad came and Robert left to go to work. When it got near lunch time, he walked over to the car workshop to find Aaron.

Aaron was on the phone so Robert waited, hands in trouser pockets. He was talking to Chas.

“Yeah. I’ll be over tomorrow evening for Cain’s birthday. Ed’s training late so he won’t be able to make it.. Cain won’t mind, will he?”

Aaron’s eyes flashed with anger when he saw Robert.

“See you tomorrow then Mum. I have to go.”

He put the phone in his pocket.

“You blew me out, mate. Not even a poxy phone call.”

“I was busy. Let me make it up to you now.”

Aaron snapped.

“Don’t mess with me, mate. I’ve got work to do.”

He started to walk away from Robert, who reached for his shoulder.

“Aaron! Don’t!”

The other mechanic, who was working on a car at the other end of the garage raised his head and looked at them.

“Let’s take that Panhard for a test drive.”

Robert nodded in the direction of the car.

“You take it. I’ve got too much work to do.”

Roberts jaw clenched. He nodded his head and walked away.

 

After forty eight hours, Dylan seemed a lot better. His temperature was back to normal and the inflammation around his stitches had gone down. Robert had stayed by his side both nights. Now he was sleeping peacefully.

The doctor nodded with approval and then glanced at Robert’s face, looking at him closely, like a father might. “Let’s keep him in one more night. You go home. You deserve a rest. Look after yourself for once.”

 

Aaron raised his eyes and glanced sideways at Robert as he entered the Woolpack and walked up to bar to order a drink. He was sitting with Adam, Moira, Cain and his Mum. He tilted his pint glass and took a mouthful, curling his lip.

Adam called across to Robert.

“Rob, man. How’s Dylan? Vic said he was back in hospital.”

Robert looked down and nodded.

“Thanks. We had a scare but he’s a lot better now.”

Aaron looked up blinking as Robert turned back to his drink.

In the men’s toilets he waited. Robert didn’t let him down.

He turned with his back to the sink to face him as he walked in.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it’s not your problem.”

“What?”

“I don’t know. Maybe you’d have felt bad... about us. It’s better this way.”

Aaron rolled his eyes.

“Or maybe I could just have been there for you. When you needed me. Otherwise what am I for? What is the point of this?”

Robert stepped forward. He spoke quietly.

“So be here for me now! Spend the night.”

“What?”

“Spend the night with me, Aaron. Tell Ed you’re staying here. That you can’t drive because you’re over the limit. We can have the whole night together, just you and me.”

Aaron hesitated.

“I missed you.” Robert added. Aaron ran his hand over his face, looking skyward and then nodded.

“Alright.”

Robert smiled with relief. He leaned forward and pressed his lips softly against Aaron’s only to break apart quickly as they heard Adam’s laughter close to the room.

 

Aaron parked his car at the scrapyard. If he was up early enough, Adam would never need to know it was there and his Mum thought he was safely on his way to Leeds. He put his hands in the pockets of his black hoodie and walked swiftly down to the main street and Robert’s cottage. As he approached he glanced from left to right, then opened the door without knocking, calling Robert’s name he went in.

 

Finn was in the office upstairs at the B&B on a nightshift. Looking out of the window, he watched Aaron go into Robert’s house and frowned.

He dropped a text message to Victoria.

**_Hello dear. Is Dylan home?_ **

  ** _Not until tomorrow. Are you going to visit? I’m making him some more cake so I’ll join you._**

  ** _Does he like your cake?_**

  ** _Of course he does dear. Everyone does._**

  ** _OK_**

Finn watched the light go on upstairs in Robert’s cottage and shook his head.

Not good. Not good at all, he thought to himself.

 

As soon as Aaron walked in through the door, Robert pushed him against the wall with his body and pressed his mouth hard over his.

“Don’t doubt me. Never doubt me, Aaron.”

Aaron breathed heavily.

“Just, next time, message me. It’s the not knowing that gets to me.”

Robert took Aaron upstairs.

The bedroom was cold, the bed unslept in for months since Dylan’s accident.

“We don’t use this room.”

Robert looked around seeing it through Aaron’s eyes. There were photos; one of Robert catching Dylan pretending to jump from the Cow rock on Ilkley Moors, one black and white picture of Dylan on the stage, dancing, flying through the air, thighs, calves, feet stretched and powerful. Robert blinked. He should have come here earlier and put the pictures away.

He put them face down and turned to Aaron. His face looked confused.

“This was a mistake. I shouldn’t be here.”

“No. We’re good.” He answered. “Just give me a moment.”

He ran downstairs and returned with beer, shot glasses and a bottle of vodka.

Aaron was sitting stiffly on the bed.

“Come on.” Robert urged.

They opened a beer and Robert switched on the TV in the room to Aaron’s favoured sports channel. He kicked off his shoes and sat back against the bed head, gesturing for Aaron to join him.

After a moment he shifted his hips, knocking against Aaron who frowned at him.

“Hey. Careful! I don’t want to spill beer on the bed.”

“I know it’s just…” Robert shifted again. “Some positions are more comfortable than others.”

Aaron looked back at him in silence for a moment.

“Do you mean what I think you mean?”

Robert raised his eyebrows in reply.

“You’re wearing it?” Aaron’s voice thickened. “Since when?”

“Since before I left work.”

“So you were wearing it when you came into the Woolpack for a drink?”

“Yeah.”

“So what… you knew I’d come over, then.”

“Well. I can’t say I knew…Don’t go off on one... but I guessed I’d be able to persuade you.”

Aaron shook his head.

“And I am so ready for you to take it out.” Robert added, lowering his voice.

Aaron felt his heart thumping dangerously. He leaned forward and they kissed, eyes closed, both men playing with each other’s tongues, savouring the sensation.

“But let’s get one thing straight.” Aaron said quietly. “I don’t plan on taking it out for a while yet.”

He caught Robert’s lower lip with his teeth and pulled gently.

Robert grinned.

Finally he had Aaron where he wanted him.

 

Aaron let his hand wander down to Robert’s trousers. Robert was half reclined on his side and Aaron kneaded against his hip through his trousers. Glancing down he could see how Robert's cock was straining to be released. He ran his hand back over his arse and started fingering against his arse crack through the material, searching until he found the hard flared end of the plug. He pressed against it.

“ Careful.” Robert warned.

“You used lots of lube. You re-lubed?” Aaron checked.

“I know what I’m doing!” Robert bit his tongue. He didn’t want to say _better than you_ and spoil Aaron’s pleasure in any way. “I think.” he lied.

“Take your clothes off. I want to see it.”

“Yeah? I will if you will.”

 

Aaron stood behind Robert bent over the bed. He wasn’t sure whether to be more impressed by Robert’s cock as the length swayed upwards from between his legs glistening with pre cum and bouncing with every touch, or whether to be overwhelmed by his arse.

He stroked down from the dimples of his lower back and over his cheeks then spread them and admired the shiny plug.

He turned it gently and listened as Robert half moaned, half laughed.

Leaning an arm round his front, he kissed Robert’s neck and then took his cock in hand and stroked it slowly.

Robert cried out at the sensation.

“When you touch my cock my arse reacts.” Robert explained gasping. “ And when you touch my arse my cock reacts. It’s just beautiful.”

“OK Then. Let’s start with you on your back.”

Aaron positioned himself with his mouth by Robert’s cock.

He turned the plug slightly and slid his tongue down his length. Tugging and playing gently with the plug, he watched Robert’s face change and then moved his mouth over him.

Robert moaned louder at the intensity of the pleasure.

Aaron went down on his cock taking him further into his throat.

All at once Robert was shouting.

“Aaron ! Aaron! Aaaarooonnn!”

Aaron smiled listening to him as he cried out.

He gently manipulated the flared end of the plug, knowing that Robert’s nerve endings were firing off in contact with the smooth metal inside him. He moved his mouth faster over him then Robert's cum spilled out of the edges of Aaron’s mouth down the side of his cock. When he’d done, Aaron patted his side and told him to turn over.

Robert hung his head panting.

“You’re going to take it out?”

“I am.”

“You’re going to fuck me!”

“I am.”

Gently, Aaron started to ease the plug backwards.

“Give it up to me, Robert. Come on! Let it go!”

Robert lowered his back while Aaron gently removed the plug and placed it on a towel by the bed. Robert immediately started to complain of feeling empty.

Aaron shook his head.

“Nothing’s ever enough for you, Sugden!”

He stroked his hands over his arse again and let his cock stroke across the surface of his hole.

“Aaron, Please! Fuck me now!”

Aaron pushed inside. Robert was still so sensitive after the non-stop stimulation of the plug, as soon as Aaron filled him, his cock started to twitch and swell again.

Aaron stroked Robert’s back and moved fast, pushing his hips forward, balancing on his knees on the bed.

Then Robert moved up onto his knees too, and turned back looking for Aaron’s hand with his own, looking for Aaron’s mouth.

“Kiss me,” He moaned.

Aaron kissed him messily,  his mouth sliding as he kept up the fast pace.

“Tell me Aaron!” Robert gasped.

“What?”

“You know!”

“I love you.” he growled.

“Oh Goddd!”

“I love you Robert Sugden! Happy now?”

“Be with me, then! We’ll work it out.”

Robert's hand was on his cock and he was coming again, white spray shooting in the air. Aaron pulled out and using his fist he came over Robert’s arse, taking his time, squeezing out the white liquid, watching it coat Robert’s pale skin.

Eventually, they lay back panting. Robert took Aaron’s hand and lifted it to his lips to kiss.

“Don’t tell me you have this with him.”

Aaron frowned.

“So what are you saying?”

“Leave him. Get a divorce.”

“Like you’ll leave Dylan?”

“No. But he will leave me. You’ll see.”

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert continues to try and persuade Aaron to leave Ed and hatches a plan that doesn't entirely work. Dylan and Finn go all the way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> includes scenes of recreational drug use

It was still dark when Aaron slipped quietly out of bed.

He could see Robert’s eyes playing in sleep and wondered what he was dreaming and whether he figured in the dream. He was so tempted to wake him, but he needed to get to his car and and get away before the village stirred and his Mum got wind that he was still around, so instead he picked up a towel from the chair beside the bed and crept out of the room to take a shower.

When the water ran cold and wouldn’t warm up, he rolled his eyes and cursed.

Wrapping the towel around his waist, he went in search of the boiler which he found in the airing cupboard at the top of the stairs. He pressed the reset button and waited to see the spark turn to a flame.

An arm circled his waist.

Aaron smiled at the feel of Robert’s sleep hot skin.

“I need to hurry.” He murmured as Robert’s mouth found his neck.

“I know. But let me come with you. You can follow my car and we can have breakfast together in Leeds at a greasy spoon. A bacon butty, eh? I’m hungry.”

“You’re always hungry!”

Robert bit at his neck in response and Aaron reached back and pulled his hair in warning. Robert pouted and switched his attention to the towel around Aaron’s waist, tugging at it until it slipped to the floor.

“You’re not helping! I told you I need to hurry. What if my Mum sees my car?”

Robert’s hand stroked over the front of his thighs.

“Let her. I want you. I want this every day. You want it too.”

Aaron shook his head. Robert was still talking about their conversation last night. He wanted Aaron to make some sort of promise. He wanted him to take some action towards leaving Ed, but it was more complicated than that. It wasn’t just Ed either, Aaron couldn’t let Robert abandon Dylan as he was, even now the poor kid was still in hospital. Robert always had his head spinning, but the reality was nothing had changed and they both had commitments.

“What d’ya say?” Robert asked.

They stood at the top of the stairs. Aaron could feel Robert’s cock pressing against him from behind.

“Time. We need time.” he answered.

“Not good enough, Aaron.”

Robert moved one hand so he was holding him around the front of the waist, and with the other he guided himself to Aaron’s entrance still relaxed from their night of love making. Aaron waited holding his breath. Robert was a drug. He was ruining his life, but even though he knew it, he couldn’t get enough. He glanced back at him over his shoulder.

“Come on, then!” he snapped.

He heard Robert laugh.

Then all at once he felt him pushing up inside him and he leaned forward against Robert’s arm, holding him tight to stop him from falling forwards.

He closed his eyes and waited for Robert to move.

The heat built quickly as they found a rhythm. Aaron reached forward and pressed his open hands against the white gloss paint on the door to the airing cupboard. He felt Robert slam faster into him, his skin on fire, the nerves in his arse screaming at the repetitive strokes.

Robert’s hand slid down his front and took hold of his shaft. Aaron turned his head and found Robert’s plump lips and tongue.

His body burned.

Robert moaned from his throat.

“ Aarrronnn, ungh... what do you dooo… what...yooouuuuu fucckk, fucck!”

Aaron was so high, he was balancing precariously. Robert’s finger tips were stroking upwards over his stomach muscles.  Robert moved his hips back slowly for a moment pulling out and then gasped.

“Aaron! I’m coming!”

He pushed back in and Aaron felt his extra rigid cock pulse with each spasm of his climax as he came inside him. Then his own orgasm hit and he was falling, crying out open mouthed.

After, Robert knelt and pressed his mouth against his hole, licking and sucking at the cum leaking from him, still noisy in the aftermath of his climax.

Aaron felt his heart banging against his ribcage as he started to come down again, murmuring at Robert’s tongue and nose and breath against his still sensitive body.

They were reckless. They hadn’t even used any protection and Robert had told him that as well as Dylan, he’d been sleeping with prostitutes.

He leant his cheek against the cool painted surface of the cupboard door.

“So what d’ya say?” Robert repeated.

                                   “OK. Just give me some time. I’ll find a way.”

 

Robert came home to find the house empty.

It was over a week since Dylan had got back from the hospital and each day he seemed stronger. His main frustration was with not being able to walk. Finally his physiotherapist suggested he used his crutches but for limited periods each day. Robert saw his wheelchair was in the house so wherever he was, he was using his crutches to get around.

After an hour Robert decided to call.

“Why don’t you message me, Dylan?” His irritation sounded in his voice.

“Why should I?” Dylan replied coolly.

Robert hesitated. He tried to sound more reasonable.

“Where are you, then?”

“I’m over the road at the B&B with Finn and Tracy. I saw your car arrive.”

Robert ran a hand through his hair.

“So come home and have some dinner with me, then.”

“We just had fish and chips and we’re playing Dungeons & Dragons.”

It was after eleven when Dylan finally came home.

Robert moved his laptop from his thighs and stood up to greet him, but Dylan walked towards the bedroom on his crutches with hardly a glance in his direction.

Robert put his hands on his hips.

“Have I done something wrong?”

He wondered for a moment if somehow Dylan had found about him and Aaron.

Dylan raised his eyebrows.

“Have you? I don’t know. I’m going to bed.”

Robert watched him close the bedroom door and sat back down. They still hadn’t made love since Dylan's heart surgery. Robert knew that was the source of the problem, but right now he had other priorities. He would deal with Dylan when the time was right.

 

“I want to talk to you about time management.”

Aaron was leaning over under the bonnet of the new Jaguar sports. Robert looked at him in his overalls and looked away, trying not to think about pulling them off him from the shoulders to his thighs and bending him over the car.

Since Aaron had stayed over, they’d only met once at Clive’s, and then, for some reason, Ed had started to turn up at lunch times to meet Aaron, preventing them from spending time together. Robert couldn’t help wondering if Aaron had suggested it, if he was backtracking on the decision to leave Ed soon.

Robert had watched them from his office as they walked from the car lot, shoulder to shoulder, his jaw clenching. Now it was Friday and he wanted to spend time alone again with Aaron before the weekend.

Aaron straightened up and glanced across at his fellow mechanic, wiping his hands on an oil rag.

“I don’t know what to say, Robert. They’re training just down the road and I can hardly tell him not to come…”

“Why not?”

Robert was wearing a winter coat, his hands in the pockets. “I thought this was what we agreed? You need to start getting the message across to him that things aren’t so sweet between you.”

“It’s not so simple.”

“From where I’m standing it’s very simple. Where’s your phone? Call him and tell him you’re working over lunch today and then let’s go to Clive’s.” He inclined his head.

Aaron pressed his lips together and shook his head.

“Come on!” He lowered his voice. ”I miss you.”

Robert saw Aaron’s expression change and the smile of greeting before he turned to see Ed walking into the workshop,

“Hi, Robert!” He reached out and shook his hand with a smile, then put an arm around Aaron and leaned in for a kiss on his mouth. Robert balled his fists in his coat pocket.

Ed looked at his watch and at Aaron’s face with a frown.

“Am I early?”

Aaron looked down.

“Uh, no, no. I just need to take my overalls off and I’m all yours.” He glanced at Robert. “Robert was just leaving.”

Robert bowed to Aaron and walked away back to the office.

He sat heavily on his chair and then stood again and started pacing the room.

 

Ed walked back with Aaron from lunch, an arm draped over his shoulder. Robert was waiting with a smile.

“Good lunch?”

“It was just a sandwich mate.” Aaron answered with a small frown.

“Aaron tells me you’re a good cook though, Ed. I’m sure you don’t always eat Nandos. And Aaron isn’t so easy to please in the ...kitchen. At least so I’ve heard.”

Ed hesitated, then pointed a finger upwards.

“Yeah! We said we’d ask you and Dylan round, didn’t we? We should do that! Aaron?”

Robert could see the surprise in Aaron’s eyes.

“I don’t think Dylan will be up to it yet, so yeah, when he’s better.”

“Actually you know what? He’s doing well and I think the change would do him good.” Robert replied.

“So how about tomorrow, Saturday? I”ll have time to shop after training and make you something good?” Ed asked.

“Tomorrow sounds great.”

Robert turned and walked away allowing a smile to play on his face.

 

Robert left work earlier than usual and walked in through the front door in time to see Dylan’s physiotherapist just leaving.

“How’s he doing then?”

“Good. The chest has healed really well.” The physio smiled and squeezed Dylan’s shoulder. “I think next week we can resume those thigh exercises and then let’s get started on a bicycle.”

Dylan lowered his head to hide a smile, but as soon as the physio left through the door, he turned away from Robert, putting on earphones and turning on a game on his computer. Robert sat next to him and pulled out one of the earphones.

Dylan looked at him sharply.

“Hey. I came home early.”

“So what?”

Dylan put the earphone back in. Robert pursed his lips and pulled it out again, this time holding on to it in his hand.

“For you, Dylan, I came home for you!”

Robert reached a hand up to his cheek but Dylan quickly batted him away.

“I’m not interested.”

Robert nodded. “OK. I know! You’re angry with me. I got that. But I bought us something.”

Robert opened his bag watching Dylan’s face. Stretching his eyes in exaggeration he pulled out a vaporizer and some weed and placed them on the table.

He saw Dylan blink with shock.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. It’s Friday night and so I reckon it’s officially time for you and me to lighten up. Yeah?”

He stood up, pulling off his tie, then started to unbutton his shirt.

Dylan stared up at him in amazement.

“But where did you get it from, Robbie?”

“What? You think I’m too old to know where to get hold of these things?”

He pulled off his shirt and went to the bedroom and returned pulling a soft sweater over his head.  

“Actually, I asked Benjamin.”

“Benjamin? He was the Polish guy who.. The rent boy..? “

Dylan’s voice trailed off. His mouth curled.

“You’ve been meeting him?” He looked up at the ceiling and opened his hands palms upwards. “Course you have! What kind of an idiot am I?”

Robert sat down next to Dylan and pressed his thigh close against him. He started to prepare the weed.

“Why do you do this, Dylan? Why do you always think the worst of me? I haven’t been seeing him. I got in touch because we need to relax, you and me. You’re so tense and I want to help you.”

He moved his thigh against him.

“Here! This will help.” Robert watched Dylan take a couple of drags and pulled it away, laughing.

“Not too much!”

He inhaled some himself and was hit by quite a wave of giddiness.

“I’m not tense.” Dylan answered sitting back against the sofa. “It’s you! You don’t want to touch me. Now I know why. You’ve been fucking a rent boy instead.”

Robert passed him the vaporizer again and watched him.

“You’re wrong. I’m just… I just... I don’t want to make you ill, Dylan. You had major surgery, I don’t want to do something wrong. You were getting better and then you had to go back to hospital and and it made me cautious. I want to protect you, not hurt you.”

Raising both hands to Dylan’s face, he started to kiss him softly, opening his lips with his mouth and moving his tongue inside searching for Dylan’s tongue, waiting for him to respond.

After a while Dylan raised a hand around Robert’s neck and stroked his fingers in his hair.

Robert pulled back and looked in Dylan’s eyes. He saw the flicker of a smile for the first time.

Robert took Dylan to the bedroom where they made love, taking their time, enjoying the heightened arousal. Robert kept checking that Dylan felt OK.

“I’m not hurting you?” He whispered, his cock so stiff, moving inside him, every sensation intensified. “Your stitches are OK?”

“Robbie. Just keep going... Please. I’ve been waiting so long. Oh fuuuuuck!”

When Dylan came, he closed his eyes as his heart raced and Robert saw the sudden panic in his face. He held him by the arms, waiting for him to come down again, reassuring him.

“Dylan! I’ve got you.”

Dylan opened his eyes and smiled back into Robert’s eyes. panting.

“You always know what to do.”

After they ate melted cheese on toast in the kitchen and drank fresh orange juice.

Robert took Dylan back to bed, the effects of the drug still just enough to sweeten and prolong their love making for a second time.

Before they slept, they showered together, Dylan standing, leaning his weight on his stronger leg and holding onto Robert’s shoulder.

Robert ran soap over his body and kissed his neck.

”I am so proud of you! Tomorrow Ed and Aaron will be amazed.” He murmured.

Dylan raised his face in confusion.

“What?”

“Tomorrow. I already said, didn’t I? They invited us for a meal in the evening. When you were ill they took me in for a night. Ed fed me with Nandos and I stayed in the spare room. I told you all this.”

“You did?” Dylan leaned harder against Robert under the stream of water.

Robert leaned forward and kissed his mouth, taking his time.

“Maybe you were ignoring me. You've been so angry with me, Dylan. You’re not angry with me anymore?”

Dylan smiled. “Not anymore.”

 

In the morning after breakfast, Robert pulled Dylan onto his lap.

“Talk to me.” He said, pushing his hands up under Dylan’s sweater, stroking them over his skin.

“About what?”

“Anything, everything.”

Dylan shrugged.

He pulled him close and spoke in his ear. “Give me a date, Dylan.”

“What?” Dylan looked puzzled.

“ I want a date!” Robert laughed.”I don’t want to be engaged forever so when do we get married?”

Dylan smiled.

“My God! When do you want?”

“I’m thinking Easter. My favourite time of year for romance.” Robert smiled and patted Dylan’s knee.

“Give me a minute to go to the bathroom.”

Dylan waited on the sofa. When he heard Roberts phone buzz with a text alert, he turned the phone over.

 **_Message from Aaron_ ** he read and blinked.

**_Make an excuse and don’t come. I can’t do this._ **

He turned the phone back over and smiled up at Robert as he appeared.

 

In the afternoon, Robert told Dylan he needed to go out but he would be back in time to get ready to go to Ed and Aaron's. Robert called Vic and asked her to pop round and make some lunch for Dylan. 

"Let her know if there is anything you want." He kissed Dylan again and, picking up his car keys, he left.

Dylan sat in silence thinking about the message and what it could mean. 

After a few minutes he called Finn and asked if he was free to join him and Vic.

"You OK?" Finn asked.

"Yes, course. I just want to see a friend."

 

When Victoria left, a quiet descended on the house.

Finn hesitated.

“Perhaps I should...”

“I think I left my phone in the bedroom, could you look for me, Finn?” Dylan looked up from the game he'd been playing on the computer.

 Finn went to the bedroom and looked over the bedside tables but he couldn’t see the phone. Dylan came through on his crutches.

“Maybe I put it in the drawer?” He bit his lip.

Finn swallowed and opened the drawer of the bedside table. He blinked trying not to think about the condoms and lube there, and closed the drawer again.

Dylan came closer.

“I don’t know then.”

They both heard a ping as a message came through on a phone. The noise came from Dylan’s sweatpant pocket where he was standing, leaning on his crutches.

Dylan looked at Finn under lowered lids with a small smile.

“OK, maybe I fibbed.”

“And why would you do that?” Finn asked sternly.

“I don’t know…”

Dylan moved closer towards Finn then sat on the bed and Finn sat next to him.

“Because I really like you.” Dylan said quietly.

Finn hesitated for a moment, looking at Dylan’s red lips then leaned forward and kissed him, stroking his tongue softly against Dylan’s tongue.

He hesitated and sat back. Dylan watched him waiting.

“You keep kissing me and then you stop.” He pouted.

“The danger is that I like it too much to stop.” Finn answered.

“Don’t stop then.”

Dylan spread his fingers over Finn’s chest and pushed gently, persuading him backwards so he was lying down on the bed. He lay on his side next to him and taking off his glasses kissed him more.

“Get into bed with me!” He whispered. “We can play under the covers.”

“What if someone comes?”

Dylan raised his eyebrows at Finn.

“That might be nice!”

Finn’s heart suddenly started hammering in his chest.

“What if Robert comes home?”

“Well it’s probably not going to happen, he always calls me on the way home. Don't worry.”

Dylan started to undress revealing the raised red scar from his surgery. He took off his sweatpants and Finn blinked and swore softly at the sight of Dylan’s already erect cock as he sat naked on the bed beside him.

Dylan reached forward and helped Finn to pull off his top and then unfastened his jeans and pushed them down, he put his slender fingers in the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down, too.

“Finn, you’re so sexy.”

Dylan kissed him again and they both slid under the covers between the cool sheets.

Dylan could feel Finn shaking.

They moved against each other, for the moment just enjoying the sensation of skin against skin.

To Finn, Dylan smelt so good, sweet and salt with a hint of antiseptic.

He felt Dylan’s slim fingers play with his stomach. Then he gasped as Dylan touched his cock, his fingers sliding down his length, feeling his balls, he was afraid how hard he was. Dylan reached for his own cock and circled his fingers around them both together.

“Oh Christ.”

Finn was already coming. Dylan listened to him as he released a strangled cry. He stroked him through, feeling his hand sticky with his thick cum.

After Dylan leaned over and kissed him.

“Sorry. It’s been over a year.” Finn shook his head at himself.

“It’s OK. It's hot. But now it’s my turn, alright?” Dylan laughed.

He took Finn’s hand and guided his fingers down between his legs. “Oh Christ.” Finn said again. Dylan’s rim was tight and hot.

“Fuck me with your fingers.” Dylan whispered.

“Umm. Shall I use the lube I saw in the drawer?” He whispered.

He took some lube and let his finger push just inside.

Dylan moved his hips to take Finn's fingers deeper, he added his own finger to show Finn where he wanted to be touched and then Finn started to stroke him, rewarded by Dylan's soft moans. Dylan suddenly felt Finn shift as he took his hand away. Finn opened the drawer again and took a condom and slid it on to his cock, hard for a second time.

Dylan grinned and pulled up his thighs.

Finn pushed inside with a loud groan.

His teeth were chattering from the adrenaline. He thrust three or four times and then waited, panting.

“I still can’t control this.”

“It’s OK! It’s so good.” Dylan reassured him.

Finn started to move again, picking up a faster pace.

All at once Dylan groaned and opened his mouth.

“Yesssss. So sweet! I’m coming! Finnnn!”

Finn looked down in amazement, then he was coming too. They rocked together.

"Soooo gooood Finn. Oh My God!"

After they kissed for a while. 

Finn found a towel in the bottom drawer and they wiped up and lay together. Dylan lay cradled in Finn’s arms. Finn couldn't keep the smile off his face and kept kissing Dylan’s shoulder.

“ I know I was bad, it has just been a while, you know?”

“Stop saying that! You are hot!” Dylan laughed.

Suddenly they heard a door open.

"Fuck! Grab your clothes. Quick! Get out!"

"Where?"

"The French window!"

Finn spilled naked onto the lawn and Dylan closed the curtain.

 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert takes Dylan to dinner at Ed and Aaron's which ends badly and a stressed Robert seeks solace with an old familiar friend. Later he finds his way back to Aaron with a renewed resolve.

“Robert I’m sorry!”

It was Aaron. Dylan knew it was Aaron because as soon as Robert answered the phone he was suddenly lost to him.

When Robert had arrived home earlier, Dylan had quickly turned on the shower and got in, balancing on his crutches. Robert, coming through to the bedroom, had opened the bathroom door and let his eyes look Dylan up and down as he stood under the water stream.

“What happened to the bed?” He’d asked.

“Yeah! Sorry about that. I spilled coffee. I put the sheet in the laundry basket, but I can’t put a clean one on by myself.”

Dylan watched as Robert frowned and put his hands on his hips, then closed the bathroom door.

Dylan breathed out and leaned his head  against the tiles but when Robert opened the bathroom door a second time, he jumped and held onto the metal bar fitted especially to stop him falling.

“I’ll join you.” Robert started to unbutton his shirt.

“No!”  Dylan stammered.

Robert stopped wıth his fıngers on a button.

“No? Seriously?”

“ I ... ummm... I’m gonna groom, Robert. Just let me have some time alone.”

“ _Robert_?” Robert echoed him. “OK.” He closed the door again and Dylan pressed a hand to the scar over his racing heart.

Robert made a coffee. He called Vic.

“Vic, hey, thanks for coming round today. I don’t want you to leave Dylan at home alone. I know he looks well, but he’s having these dizzy turns which are probably nothing but ... you know I just don’t want him to faint or something and nobody be there.”

“Well, we didn’t leave him did we, I had to go to work but Finn stayed with him. I’m pretty sure he was there until late afternoon.”

“Finn? Really? I should thank him then.”

“Well I think they get on, don’t they?”

“You’re probably right.”

 

When he came out, Dylan could hear the noise of the TV. He dressed in a retro polo from Paris that Robert had bought for him, then pulled on a pair of pale jeans, panting as he struggled with his right leg. Once dressed, he carefully styled his short cropped hair with gel so it stood up in spikes at the front. He glanced at the bed, still unmade, then, with a last look in the mirror, walked through.

Robert was in the kitchen with a mug of coffee. He narrowed his eyes at the sight of him.

“You look hot.” He commented.

Dylan looked back at him and fluttered his eyes.

Robert took hold of his chin with his thumb and forefinger and moved his face from side to side, inspecting him closely.

“What are you up to Dylan?”

“I just didn’t want to let you down for the dinner tonight. So I dressed up for you.” He shrugged and leaning forward, planted a kiss on Robert’s lips. “I love you, Robbie.”

Robert looked at him steadily while Dylan looked back at him with sultry eyes and then he shook his head and looked at his watch instead.

“OK. I need to change too.”

And then his phone had rung and Dylan had known it was Aaron.

 

Without a word, Robert opened the back door from the kitchen and walked out into the garden to take the call. He kept walking down the path between the lawn, past the pots of dead flowers planted long ago by Diane and neglected ever since. Dylan watched him go, not able to take his eyes off Robert’s receding figure. He put a hand on his stomach, waiting.

Dylan gazed at Robert as he ran a hand through his hair. He could see him talking, but when he turned so his back was facing the house Dylan moved on his crutches to the living room and sank down onto the sofa, rubbing his palms over the denim of his pale jeans, digging with his fingers into his thighs where he’d started to rebuild muscle before the heart surgery. It was hopeless, having such a scarred body. But Finn had found him attractive. He bit his lip and half smiled recalling Finn’s heartbeat and how he’d kept apologizing, even though it had felt so sweet.

“Aaron. We’re just about to come over. Don’t do this! What will I say to Dylan?”

“Just don’t come. You can think of an excuse. I’ll see you on Monday, yeah? We can go to Clive’s place and just talk about this.”

“And then Ed will turn up for lunch again, and there’ll be more excuses. Aaron I need you. I need this to be over.”

“Think about what you’re going to do to Dylan?” Aaron voice was urgent, pleading. “ And there’s something else.” Robert closed his eyes, listening. “He’s going away with the team on tour. They’re going to New Zealand. Friday. They’ll be gone for two weeks. So we’ll have time while he’s away, to talk.”

Robert hesitated taking in what Aaron was telling him, thinking about the space and time they would have between them. It was just what they needed.

“ So we need to do this now, before he goes.”

“No. I can’t do that to him.”

Robert frowned.

“Aaron, OK. I promise I won’t say anything, do anything tonight. We’ll just come for a meal, OK? If we don’t come it’ll just seem bizarre. Ed will think it’s weird. Dylan will too.”

Aaron was silent.

“And I miss you. I just want to be near you. We’ll come round tonight and enjoy a meal and then Monday you and I will talk. Alright?”

“Well, you’re not giving me a choice.”

“I’m not. I’ll see you soon.”

Robert stood for a moment, fingers to his mouth, then walked indoors.

He found Dylan on the sofa texting on his phone.

“That was Aaron.”  Robert told him.

Dylan raised his eyebrows without looking up. “I sort of guessed.”

Robert frowned. “We need to leave soon or we’ll be late.”

Then Robert saw his shoulders shake. For a moment he thought he was crying, then realized he was actually laughing.

“I’m so sorry.’ Dylan stammered trying to calm his breathing.  “I … poor Ed! He’s such a nice bloke, cooking a meal for us, don’t you think? “

Dylan reached over and took hold of the front of Robert’s shirt, pulling him closer. He leaned forward and pressed his mouth against Robert’s lips urgently, asking to be kissed. Robert sat down next to him. He put his chin on Dylan’s shoulder and let his hand snake-up under Dylan’s polo.

‘‘What’s up Dylan? Tell me! Why are you acting so strange this evening? Have you been a bad boy?” He asked quietly.

“You’re the bad one. We both know that.” Dylan answered, but Robert felt his body tense up. He dug his chin into Dylan’s shoulder and kissed his cheek.

“If you say so.” He answered. He moved his hand. Dylan’s skin was hot. Then Dylan pulled back from the embrace.

“So after the dinner, take me out! We can go clubbing!”

Robert looked at him.

“You can’t dance, love.” He said softly.

“I know. But I can drink.”

 

When Aaron opened the door to the apartment, Robert and Dylan were kissing on the doorstep. Robert turned and presented Aaron with a bouquet of flowers and a bottle of rosé wine. Dylan, balancing on his crutches held up a six pack of beer.

“Probably prefer these, maybe.” Dylan regarded Aaron from under lowered eyelids. Aaron looked good too, wearing a thin black sweater that hugged his body. Dylan glanced at Robert and looked away.

Aaron stepped aside with a frown to let them in.

Ed appeared.

“ Hi! Wow Dylan! You look great man! Well on the road to recovery. Look at you!”

It was true. Dylan carried his boyish good looks with style, but more than that his eyes had regained a sparkle and energy Ed had noticed when they first met, before the accident.

“Thank you!” He answered. ”Robbie’s been looking after me so I guess I would be ungrateful not to be in a good mood.”  He turned to Robert wrinkling his nose and Robert winked back at him.

Aaron looked away.

“Let me get you something to drink then?” He offered. “I’m guessing you both want a beer for now.”

Dylan nodded but Robert narrowed his eyes.

“Actually I wanted a glass of the rosé if that’s OK. It reminds me of Paris.”

Aaron blinked and looked down.

“Really?” Ed asked. “When were you in Paris, then Robert?”  

“Oh you know. I’ve been a few times.”

Aaron moved to the kitchen to open the wine and found his hands were shaking.

Dylan followed him in on his crutches.

“Ed doesn’t know about Paris then?”

He said it quietly to Aaron, his eyes lowered to the floor. Aaron raised his eyes quickly from the bottle opener already twısted into the cork and looked at Dylan’s bent head.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Dylan, mate.”

“It’s OK. He told me everything. I know you were… together there. But he does love me and he’s going to marry me just like you married Ed, and I think in time he’ll love me more and more. What do you think?”

Aaron took out a couple of wine glasses out. They’d been a wedding present from Diane. The crystal rang out as the glasses knocked together between Aaron’s fingers. He put them down on the table and started to pour the wine.

‘‘He’s not good enough for you, you know. You deserve better.” Aaron said quietly.

 

When Robert and Ed walked in, Robert looked at the two men with a frown and then slipped an arm

over Dylan’s shoulder. Dylan leaned into him and Aaron looked away.

Aaron handed Robert a glass of wine and Robert touched his fingers as he took it.

‘Thanks.’ He looked in his eyes then raısed his glass. ‘Cheers! Thank you Ed for inviting us and let this be the first of many evenings.”

“So what’s the secret?” Ed asked.

Robert and Dylan blinked back at him.

“You too always being so loved up. How do you do it?”

“Lots of sex.” Dylan answered.

Robert choked on his wine and Ed laughed.

“Well, really! Lot’s of sex. It’s true isn’t it Robbie? Last night…” Robert put a hand over his mouth to stop him.

“Seriously not appropriate.” He ruffled Dylan’s hair and saw Aaron turn away looking for ice for the drinks.

 

Ed served up the food at the dining table in the living room. He’d made a pasta dish with meatballs and salad.

“So do you have any travel plans?” Ed asked eventually, handing out plates of plum crumble.

“Perhaps a honeymoon.” Robert said softly.

Dylan smiled again.

“Yeah, you two already did this…” he looked at his ring, “ ...today we agreed on a date or near enough.”

“Wow!” Ed grinned. “So when is it going to be?”

“Easter.” Robert looked at Aaron as he spoke. “My favourite time of year.”

Aaron walked out of the room. Ed called after him.

“Aaron?”

“Sorry, just give me a moment. I’m fine. Just stomach cramp.”

Robert looked at his phone.

“Sorry. I need to take a call. He stepped into the hallway and tapped on the bathroom door.

“Aaron”  he called in a low voice.

Aaron opened the door.

Robert followed him in and locked the door behind him.

“What the hell are you doing?” Aaron hissed incredulous. Robert could see his eyes were wet.

“They’re talking Rugby.”

“No. I mean, why are you doing this to Dylan or did you just change your mind about us?”

“I’m just trying to show you how bad things are going to get if you don’t leave Ed. Aaron this isn’t going to get easier, this is going to get more and more difficult as time goes on.”

“Well you just made it that way. Talking about marriage dates. This kid’s crazy about you.”

“We can tell them now!” Robert urged quietly.

“No.” Aaron gasped.’You promised.’

“We’ll tell them together. Now. It’ll all be over. I need you Aaron.”

‘No!’

All at once Aaron  turned and threw up into the toilet. Robert opened his mouth aghast with a hand on Aaron’s back “Aaron. Aaron. I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you ill. I’m so sorry. I’ll take Dylan, we’ll leave.”

There was a knock on the door. “I love you Aaron. I’m so sorry. “

Aaron continued to throw up. There was another knock.

Robert opened  the door.

Ed stood there, looking confused.

“Sorry mate. I really had no idea it was locked. I heard he was sick and came in to help.”

Ed went straight to Aaron.

“Aaron, mon cheri! What happened?”

Robert saw Dylan looking at him from the door.

Robert blinked at him and Dylan shook his head.

“You fuckhead” He mouthed.

He opened his arms in an appeal of innocence.

 

In the car, Robert turned on the ignition, listening to Dylan’s noisy breathing.

“I fucking hate you. You fucking CHEAT!” Dylan shouted.

Robert shook his head.

“You see what you want to see, Dylan. Nothing was happening. Aaron was ill. I helped him. How does that make me a cheat?”

He drove and then parked in a car park in the city center.

“Where are we going?”

“Clubbing. It was what you wanted, wasn’t it? And every fucking thing I do is because you want it. But you just don’t see it. You don’t see how much I turn my life upside down just for you! How can you be so selfish?”

Dylan opened the car door and struggled out on his crutches.

“ You know what? Don’t bother. You’re fucking doing my head in. I can’t do this anymore.”

Dylan slammed the car door closed and walked away on his crutches. Robert bit his lip and put the car into reverse, then with a screech of  tires he sped away.

 

Slowing at traffic lights on the ring road he pressed call on his phone. When there was no answer he drove back to the park but Dylan was gone. He called again and when there was no reply again he left a voicemail.

“ _For fuck's sake go to your Mum and Dad’s. Or I don't know. Go to a friend’s. Don’t wander about on your own and don’t get drunk. It’s late. Or you could just call me and I’ll get you. Let me know you fucking jealous prat.”_

Biting his thumbnail he made another call.

“Are you in Leeds?”

“No. You know you use my apartment more than I do.”

“So you’re home?”

“Of course.

“I want to see you.” Even Robert could hear the need in his voice, like he was nineteen all over again.

“I”m waiting, darling.”

 

So Robert drove to Manchester. Just over an hour later, he was on the doorstep and Clive opened the door, wearing a dressing gown that came to halfway down his thighs, and holding a glass of whiskey.

“Welcome home.”

He looked at Robert’s face.

“Why don’t you take a shower?”

So Robert stood under the water eyes screwed up tight  He was angry with Aaron, and he was angry with Dylan but mostly he was angry with himself. When he came out, he opened the wardrobe and looked at his old clothes still on hangers. He really ought to clear them out. He was surprised that Clive hadn’t insisted on it long ago.  He opened a drawer and found some of his old sweatpants and a T-shirt to wear, then having dressed, he went barefoot down the stairs.

Clive was sitting with a real fire, the logs nearly burnt out, reading a paper. His legs were crossed and Robert could see the top of his thigh.

“Are you hungry?” He looked at Robert, removing his glasses.

Robert shook his head.

“Whiskey?”

Robert shook his head again.

“So let’s go to bed then. That’s what you want dear, isn’t it?”

Robert followed him back upstairs and into the master bedroom where there was a large double bed made up with crisp white linen sheets and lit by two bedside lamps.  Clive turned and undid the belt of his robe, letting it fall open so that Robert’s breathing caught in his throat as he saw the older man’s tight muscular chest and stomach and swollen cock resting heavily against his thighs, He pulled Robert close into him and cupped his face pressing his lips against him. Robert kissed him back and felt the heat of body. He wanted this, he wanted to let himself be taken by the older man, he let his body go boneless against him with a sigh. He let Clive undress him so that they were naked together.

“Let’s lie down, darling.” Clive whispered and Robert nodded.

On the bed, Clive opened Robert’s thighs and finding lube stroked over his rim quickly before pushing a finger and then two fingers inside him, massaging into Robert with fast strokes,  listening to Robert groan.

Robert gave himself up to the familiar caress. It had been such a long time, and right now this was what he needed.

Clive shifted between his thighs and stroked his balls and shaft then lined up against him and, all at once, he was sliding inside and Robert’s back was arching off the bed at the sensation as he was penetrated deeper, being filled by the older man. He could already feel his muscles contracting at the hot sweet caress of Clive’s cock driving into him again and again.

Robert heard himself as he made a long involuntary sound from his throat.

“Cl… Fuuuckkk.. Pl….....”

“It’s Ok.Robert. I’m always… here.., when you need me.”

Robert reached down to hold his balls and cock away from the pounding. Clive paused.

“Come for me darling. Like the old days, eh?”

Robert gripped onto Clive’s arm, his fingers buried into his tight muscles. Clive pounded faster until he heard Robert call out as he went over the edge. He watched Robert spill over his stomach and then he was coming too, pulling out quickly and using his hand to spill in waves so that the white flecks made a pattern over Robert’s body mixing with his own.

After, he passed Robert tissues to clean up and then they lay together, Clive behind Robert stroking a hand softly over his chest until they slept.

 

“I made Aaron ill.”

Robert spoke into the darkness. He could see single shafts of soft light through the edge of the curtains and guessed it must be around five or six in the morning. Clive lay beside him, their shoulders pressed together, skin against skin.

“You love him.”

“I never knew what love was. He’s everything.”

“Then stop playing. Love isn’t a game.”

“But Dylan needs me.”

“He’s so young. He will love other men. Look at you and me. You need to help Dylan let go. He will, just like you did. He’ll find his own Aaron one day.”

 

On Friday, Robert watched Aaron as he left work, a backpack slung over his shoulder. He knew Ed was leaving that night. They hadn’t spoken since the evening of the dinner. After Clive, a calm had descended on Robert. He hadn’t seem Dylan, but Clive’s contacts had told him he was OK so he refused to worry. He knew what he wanted and he would wait until Aaron was ready, sure that Aaron would eventually realize that he wanted the same thing too.

When his phone rang he frowned.

“Aaron?”

“So you’re coming round I guess?”

The instant Aaron opened the door, Robert’s hands were on his face, his fingers tracing his cheeks, his thumbs feeling his jaw, running against the stubble. Robert’s hips pressed him backwards so that Aaron’s shoulders were forced against the wall, knocking the black and white photo of him and Ed in Paris sideways, so that it hung precariously for a moment before sliding to the floor, face down, glass shattered.

Without a word, Aaron guided Robert to the bedroom, pulling at the knot of his tie, the buttons of his shirt.

“Aaron. Aaron. Aaron.” Roberts hands were on the skin of his waist.

Aaron’s eyes were shining and soft and his lips were red and wet, parted with desire.

“So you missed me?” Robert laughed, his voice coarse with gravel.

When they lay on the bed, Robert could smell Ed’s scent on the sheets as he felt Aaron’s fingers kneading into his shoulders.

“Robbeerrttt”

Aaron moaned from his throat.

“Yes, my love. I’m here. I’m always here when you want me. Trust me, Aaron. I came out for you. You changed everything.”

He leaned down and let his lips caress over Aaron’s deeper scars, moving rhythmically inside him.

“Trust me!” He whispered again.

Aaron's belly and throat were taut. Robert listened to him gasp and watched the sweat glistening on his skin.

When they came together, for a moment Robert thought his heart had stopped and wouldn’t start again, like diving too deep under a crashing wave and wondering if you have the strength to find your way up from under the weight of the water. As air from his open mouth finally reached his lungs, he laughed, adrenaline rushing through his veins. He seized Aaron and kissed him so hard, Aaron laughed back at him.

After, Robert got up and wandered to the kitchen to find beer and then came back again.

“Two weeks.” Robert let his eyes bathe in the sight of Aaron's naked body beside him. He bent his neck and traced his lips and tongue slowly over Aaron's nipple.

Then looked up at the sound of his phone.

“Benjamin? What’s up?”

“I think I’ve found something of yours.”

"Yeah?” Robert sighed. “Is he in trouble?”

“Not yet. Not unless you want him to be.”

“Can you take care of it?”

“With pleasure.”

“Then call me in the morning.”

He lay his head on Aaron’s heart and closed his eyes.

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert and Aaron enjoy getting intimate in the shower before breakfast. Benjamin rescues Dylan and Robert makes a tough decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> mention of recreational drug use

Robert woke up to an empty bed and an empty apartment. Pulling on boxers and a T-shirt and his dark blue zip up cardigan to keep away the cold, he went to the kitchen and started to make some coffee, only to frown as he discovered there was no milk.

He heard the door opening, and all at once Aaron was in the kitchen, dressed in running gear, his hair wet, pulling earphones from his ears and placing a carton of milk on the table.

“You’re up then?” Aaron smiled. “I thought you’d sleep longer after…” He looked down with a shy smile and a shake of his head.

“After what?” Robert teased.

“After, well, you know…”

Robert pulled Aaron towards him, holding on to the material of his top. He closed his eyes and kissed him gently.

“What? After listening to you waking up the building all night?” Aaron blushed again, remembering the banging on the walls from the neighbours. Usually it was Robert who was the noisier one, but not last night. In the dark he’d finally let himself surrender completely to Robert’s touch.

Robert kissed him again, smiling into the kiss.

“Anyway, much as I wish I didn’t, I have to go to work, don’t I? Saturday’s a busy day for me, you know. I'm not a five day a week mechanic like you.”  Robert swayed. “Surprised you had energy for a run, actually, thought I’d have worn you out.”

Aaron shook his head and smiled back.

“You’ve got a high opinion of yourself, Sugden. And…“ He leaned forward and winked “...you need a shower and I need a shower so… I think we could save water and just hop in together.”

“Yeah?” Robert grinned.

“Yeah.” Aaron replied. He put his hand up and undid the zip on Robert’s wool jacket.

In the shower, Aaron reached up and pulled Robert’s face towards him. He smiled at how Robert’s blonde hair darkened under the water stream. While Robert held onto his hips, Aaron ran soap over his shoulders and down over his chest, admiring the constellations of freckles on his skin.

He ran his hand with the soap lower, leaning forward and peppering Robert's mouth and jaw with soft kisses, then stretched back and looked down, enjoying the view. He still struggled to believe that Robert wanted him more than he wanted anyone, that somehow, through the mess they’d made of everything, Robert had never given up on him or let go.

He looked down at Robert’s cock, flushed and erect, knocking against his stomach demanding attention. Aaron reached down with the soap and ran his fingers over Robert’s balls and then dropping the soap, make a circle of his thumb and forefinger and stroked up and down his length so that Robert's eyes narrowed to dark slits and, mouth open he started to groan at the touch. Robert reached for Aaron’s thick rock-hard cock and started to stroke him too.

“Aaron, Aaron! “ He gasped. Their open mouths collided messily as they continued to use their hands on each other under the water stream.

Aaron knew from the way his eyes were shining meaningfully exactly what he wanted.

He turned Robert around, lifting his arms above his head so that his chest was flush with the tiles. Kneeling, he used his tongue licking over his rim, then stroked over and over with the flat of his tongue until he could feel Robert relaxing and opening up for him.

“Oh fuck, yes.” Aaron growled, reaching a hand to his own pulsing cock.

Now he was able to dart his tongue inside, flickering quickly in and out of Robert’s hot tender hole, wetting him with his saliva.

He stood at last, stroking one side down his flank.

“Yes?” He asked gently.

“Yeah. Now.”

Finding Robert’s hole with his cock head he pressed against his entrance and all at once he was inside.

“Oh My God! Fuck Robert!” He garbled, making Robert laugh over his shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!” Aaron thrust a few times then pulled out and stroked himself, leaning forward to kiss Robert as he bent his head back.

He stroked two fingers into Robert’s hole, listening to him gasp.

“There?”

“Exactly. Fuuuck! Fuucck! Aaron. Feels so gooooodd.”

He gently removed his fingers and pressed in with his cock again, waiting. Watching the water run down in rivulets down over Robert’s back over his arse cheeks. He looked at his cock inside the stretched space of his hole. Holding on tight to Robert’s sides, with another loud groan from his throat, he started to move again, picking up speed and finding a rhythm.

He felt Robert coming first, feeling the muscles in his tight space squeeze again and again around him so that he couldn't help but follow, shooting inside him so that Robert could feel his cock pumping out the thick cum into his hole and moaned louder as the waves of his climax spread through his body.

After Aaron rested against him, kissing his shoulder blades and stroking his back, wanting the moment to last, knowing they were at their most perfect alone together, wanting nothing more than this.

Later, Aaron pulled on jeans and a black sweater and went through to the kitchen to make toast and a fresh pot of coffee.

When Robert came through in his blue shirt and tie and suit trousers Aaron looked down, biting his lips.

He watched as Robert reached for the coffee pot and poured himself a mug.

“What do you want on your toast?” He asked.

“What have you got?”

“Jam, peanut butter, chocolate spread. I don’t like it myself it’s Ed from being in France so long.”

Robert saw Aaron glance at the clock. Ed would still be flying somewhere on route to New Zealand. Maybe sleeping now in Singapore. He might even phone soon. Robert thought about Dylan, wondering where he was and glanced at his phone to see if Benjamin had called again yet.

He shook his head.

“So is it smooth or crunchy peanut butter?”

Aaron looked at him with a small frown.

“Both. Which do you prefer?”

“No idea. Let me try them both. Aaron put the jars on the table and Robert took a spoon and tasted each one in turn, Aaron watching him closely.

“So?”

“Still not sure. Help me will you?”

Robert took another spoon, and then with the peanut butter in his mouth, he leaned forward and fed it into Aaron’s mouth with his tongue. Aaron closed his eyes and smiled, Robert played with his tongue against Aaron’s his hand on the sleeve of Aaron’s sweater.

He leaned back with a sigh.

“That was smooth.” Aaron said. "Nice, I suppose, if you like smooth."

“I know. And you do, don't you? ”  Robert answered with a wink. “So now…” He took a spoonful of crunchy. “How’s this?”

He leaned in for another kiss to share the crunchy peanut butter. Aaron’s eyes watched the buttons of his blue shirt, how the material stretched over his chest as he leaned forward.

He hesitated, and then spoke in a quiet low voice.

“I want you everyday, not just now. I want this... forever.”

Robert seized his wrist, looking back at him intently, saying _yes_ with his eyes, _I want the same thing too_. But his mouth was still full of the peanut butter. He choked suddenly, coughing so that the peanut butter spilt out of his mouth down, some flying in the air, dribbling down the front of his shirt.

“Shit!” he cried as Aaron laughed and used his fingers to wipe his chin and moved his hand down starting to unbutton his shirt, revealing his pale skin underneath.

“ Now what will I wear to work?”

“You’ll have to borrow a shirt of mine.” Aaron peeled Robert’s shirt over his shoulders and dropped a kiss against his skin.

Robert captured his hand.

“I love you.” He murmured. ”I’m a disaster without you.”

Aaron’s eyes searched his face.

“ I know. I love you, too.”

Their mouths found each other again.

“Now, find me a shirt before I am so late for work they forget who I am.”  Aaron stood up to go and look for something, wondering if his shirts would possibly fit Robert. In the end Robert wore a black T-shirt under his jacket. Reluctantly and with another kiss at the door, he finally left.

 

Benjamin woke uncomfortable to see Dylan facing him across the pillow. His bright blue eyes, inflamed and sore, staring intently at him.

He wasn’t used to having guests in his home, let alone in his bed.

Robert had better pay him well for this he reflected, as Dylan reached up and stroked his beard with his slender fingers. Benjamin caught them and pulled them away. When Dylan moved forward for a kiss, Benjamin held him back with a hand against his T-shirt.

“I can pay you if that’s the problem.” Dylan pouted.

Benjamin laughed.

“With what, baby? Don’t be a spoilt brat! I think Robert’s been spoiling you too much, no?”

“I have a disability allowance.”

Benjamin laughed loudly. “OK! Well don’t spend that on me. I don’t think the British government would approve of that.” Benjamin got up out of bed and opened the curtains wide so that the morning light flooded into the room.

“So this is when I go down the gym. Come on.”

“The gym? You’ve seen the state of me?”

“You can still exercise.”

“I’ve had open heart surgery” Dylan lifted his T-shirt to show his the still fresh raised pink scar of collagen down the centre of his chest.

“You can still exercise. Get dressed and let’s go!”

 

Benjamin had been invited to the party the evening before by the Latin dance teacher, Cesar. They’d met at night classes that Cesar had been giving in addition to his day job at the college. When Cesar had suggested a drink, Benjamin had accepted, but when they’d kissed, he’d been cautious, making sure the evening ended there. Even though he wanted more, Benjamin knew that Cesar needed to know who he was and what he did before they took the relationship further. He sort of knew too, that once it was out there, it would be the end. It was a fantasy, being normal, having boyfriends, being like other people.

The party was at one of the college houses rented by students. When Cesar got caught up in a conversation with some of the dance students from the college and with loud music playing and lowlights through the house, Benjamin decided to look around.

He opened the door to a room and saw a group of people sitting and smoking spliffs and was about to leave when he noticed Dylan. He hesitated, before kneeling on the floor beside him, placing a hand on his lower back so that Dylan turned his face towards him.

“Hello, sweetpea.” He smiled. “Remember me?”

Dylan was wearing sunglasses in spite of the dim lighting and held a spliff his hand. He turned to Benjamin and started with surprise. Benjamin noticed his hands were shaking. He must have been on some kind of a bender.

Benjamin frowned.

“Where’s Robert? Is he here?”

There was an older man sitting on the other side of Dylan. Benjamin saw his hand on Dylan’s upper thigh, stroking against him.

“Robert’s a cheat.” Dylan answered, reaching his fingers nervously up to trace the breast bone of his chest. Benjamin noticed a crutch lying on the floor behind him.

“I heard you had heart surgery, yeah?”

“I’m mostly recovered.”

“And your legs are all healed up too?”

Dylan nodded.

“So where’s Robert, baby?”

Dylan removed his sunglasses and Benjamin saw his eyes for the first time, puffy and shot through with red. He saw the older man’s hand move so he was stroking over Dylan’s groin through his jeans.

Benjamin frowning reached down and batted his hand away.

“What ya doing, grandpa?” He hissed.

“No, he’s my tutor. He was my tutor.” Dylan explained, his voice heavy.”He said I could stay at his, after the party.”

 

Benjamin slipped out of the room and called Robert.

“Benjamin? What’s up?”

“I think I’ve found something of yours.”

"Yeah?”  Benjamin heard Robert sigh. “Is he in trouble?”

Benjamin thought about it, Dylan’s shaking hands and swollen eyes.

“Not yet. Not unless you want him to be.”

“Can you take care of it?”

Benjamin hesitated. He was supposed to be on a date with Cesar, wasn’t he? But he could hardly say no to Robert, and Dylan had somehow crept in under the radar.

“With pleasure.”

He lied. Robert would pay him well for this. He’d ask for an hourly compensation.

“Then call me in the morning.”

 

Cesar found him.

“Sorry. I neglected you. You’re not bored?” He smiled and reached out a hand to his shoulder.

“No” Benjamin smiled back.

Cesar leaned towards him for a kiss. His lips were soft and he smelt of wine and perfume. It was so long since someone had kissed him, just a kiss, just because they wanted to, without money changing hands. He hesitated.  He could maybe suggest they left the party now, not look back.

“Just one moment.”

He turned back into the room, leaving Cesar frowning after him. Dylan was lying on his side, eyes closed, vomit round his mouth and on the carpet and his polo shirt, Benjamin could see his body still in spasm, still retching. The older man next to him was still stroking over his jeans which he’d unfastened.

“No, no, no! Baby! Come on!”  He sat him up, pushing away the older man with a snarl.

“He’s of age.”

“He’s out of it. You think this is OK? I’ll call the police if you touch him again.” Benjamin waved his phone threateningly, then he pulled Dylan up under his arms and half carried him out of the room, shouting at kids making out in the bathroom to get out of the way.

Cesar watched confused.

“Is that Dylan?” he asked, recognizing his old student. He hadn’t taught him long and then he’d had the accident, but he’d been a star in the college, before, when Cesar had started. He stood behind Benjamin who held him up over the sink and washed down his face, running cold water into his hand over his hair and eyes, rinsing his nose and mouth, stroking his lower back.

Dylan started to cry.

“ Robbie!  Get Robbie for me! I think I’m going to die.”

“Shhh! You’re not going to die, baby. I’m going to take care of you. OK?”

Benjamin hesitated. For a moment he wondered if he really should call Robert or not.

Cesar stood back.

Dylan struggled to stand, his eyes open now. He looked wildly around for his crutches’ then pushed Benjamin.

“Go away! I don’t even know why you’re talking to me. He meets you, doesn’t he? For sex!”

Cesar blinked at Benjamin.

“Who meets you for sex?” he asked confused.

“No one.”  Benjamin stammered

Dylan wailed. ”Don’t lie. My boyfriend pays him for sex. They meet all the time. It’s a secret but I know. So then I slept with Finn. And he’ll find out. And Aaron…”

Cesar shook his head.

“Sorry? Who’s Finn? Who’s Aaron? What’s he talking about. Why would someone pay you?”

Benjamin hung his head.

“He’s drunk, he doesn’t know wh..”

“Liar! He’s a rent boy! Robert paid him and...” Dylan drew a breath and turned to Benjamin. “It was so good. I liked you, till I knew about what you did with Robert.”

Benjamin watched Cesar take a step backwards..

“I’ll make some coffee.” he muttered and walked away down the hall.

“Thanks, baby.” Benjamin muttered. “Thanks a million!”

Dylan turned and threw up again into the sink.

 

Benjamin stood by the open door, a hand around Dylan’s waist and holding the crutch that he’d retrieved from the bedroom. The other crutch was seemingly lost. He’d washed down his clothes and fastened his jeans. Dylan leaned heavily into him, head bowed, while Benjamin looked down the road, waiting for the taxi he’d called.

Cesar appeared.

“I made coffee…” He said.

“Thanks, but I think it’s better if I get this kid home, really.”

Cesar nodded and turned to go back to the party. He turned again and looked like he wanted to say something.

“Bye.” He said eventually.

“Yeah. Bye.”

 

Once in his apartment he found a pair of shorts and a T-shirt and helped Dylan change. They were ridiculously large for him.

Dylan kept trying to kiss him.

“No, baby. That’s not why we’re here.”

Dylan reached up and ran a hand over his swollen eyelids. He slipped the silver ring embedded with diamonds off his finger and looked at it, turning it over.

“Here, you want this?” He offered, then dropped the ring on the floor.

Benjamin picked it up and slipped it back on his hand.

“You’re wrong about Robert. You crazy child. What you’re thinking, it’s not true. I met Robert when he hired me for you, remember that?  And then later I think I met him once again when he wanted some weed, I think that was for you too. Come on, baby. He adores you. Why would he want me when he’s got you?”

“I’ve been ill and he’s…”

“He’s been thinking about you, baby. It’s all in that sweet head of yours.”

He tapped Dylan’s head with his finger. After he gave him water and some painkillers and then watched him until he slept, before climbing in himself.

 

At the gym, Dylan slept for a long time with a towel over his face. Benjamin had organised a sauna followed by a massage, speaking with the masseuse about Dylan’s surgery first.

When Dylan woke, Robert was there. He heard his voice first, talking with Benjamin.

He turned pulling the towel from his face and looked at him. He was wearing his suit over a black T-shirt, standing, hands on his waist, nodding as he listened to whatever Benjamin said. Then he turned to look at him and their eyes met.

Robert shook his head.

Dylan sat up quickly. He saw Benjamin lower his head and sigh.

Robert came over and sat next to him putting an arm around his shoulder.

“Dylan. What have you been doing, love?”

He kissed his cheek. Wiping a thumb over the tears falling silently from his eyes.

“This just isn’t working. I love you Dylan, but we can’t go on like this. Let’s go home and talk. It’s enough now.”

 

While Dylan dressed, Robert called Aaron.

“I”m going to tell Dylan everything. He may try and contact Ed. I think you should know.”

He could hear the panic in Aaron’s voice.

“Robert just wait until Ed gets back from New Zealand. I need to tell him to his face. We’re married. You’re right. I know you’re right. But give me these two weeks.”

Robert bit his lip.

"I don't know."


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robert spends time with Aaron. He and Dylan talk and go to Bar West. Dylan makes decisions about his future. He visits Finn at the B&B. Robert has a surprise for Aaron tbc

“So we talked.”

Robert took the towel Aaron passed him, and used it to clean up his stomach before dropping it down by the side of the bed, and turning back to face him.

“Have you got something to eat? Are you hungry, too?”

Aaron closed his eyes for a second to hide his smile.

“I’ll fix you a sandwich in a minute. But tell me about Dylan.”

The curtains were open and the afternoon winter sun shone brightly into Aaron’s bedroom. Outside they could hear Sunday shoppers out at last on their way to the local corner shop or supermarket.

“Yeah. It was good. We talked and, for once, we were both honest.”

He saw the flicker of anxiety in Aaron’s face and took his hand.

“And no, I didn’t talk about us. I didn’t need to in the end.”

“So what’s the conclusion?”

“It’ll end as I always said it would.” Robert frowned. He looked thoughtful for a moment. “You know I could make you roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. I’m really good at Yorkshire pudding, the secret’s in the heat of the oil. Have you got an apron?”

Aaron lay back on the pillow and bit his bottom lip and Robert turned onto his elbow by his side.

“OK. Maybe food can wait.”  

He leaned forward and kissed Aaron’s mouth softly, pushing against his lips with his tongue.

 

Darren reached for Dylan’s hand.

“You’ve just had open heart surgery, and that on top of a traumatic event and a series of other surgeries. It’s normal for you to be depressed. Everything you’re going through, everything is normal.”

Robert ran his fingers over his mouth, looking at Dylan.

“Look I know I haven’t helped. I’ve been hot and cold and … everything in between I suppose. I tried, I really did. I got this place set up and I got you all the gym equipment and…”

“It’s not the stuff though, is it, Robert?” Dylan rolled his eyes.

Darren kept hold of his hand. Robert had asked him to join them, to help them talk everything through. He knew for once he’d done the right thing.

“So say what’s on your mind. Tell Robert what’s going on.”

“When we make love… you make me feel like you’re doing it because it’s a … because you feel you ought to. But I want you to want me… like you did before. And I understand because why would you want someone with such a scarred body.”

Robert shook his head.

“It’s not true. You’re still so hot. It’s not to do with you.”

Dylan laughed.

“Of course it’s to do with me. Then I get so jealous. And I hate being this person who’s always so jealous and suspicious. I even thought you’d been sleeping with Benjamin. And then he told me it was in my mind and I felt so stupid.”

“No, you were right. I had been paying him, meeting him at Clive’s. I’m … I’m sorry Dylan.”

Dylan looked confused.

“But he said I was wrong.”

“Because I pay him. He was protecting me, and protecting you from me, too. I’m. I’m not a nice person, Dylan. ”

“So I was right?”

“It was just sex. He’s a rent boy, after all.”

“But how can I marry someone who does that sort of thing? And then lies about it?”

Robert bent his head.

“You can’t. But… I want to look after you. I need to be sure you’re alright.”

They were both silent, until Darren spoke again.

“Dylan? What are you thinking?”

“I just don’t want to be defined by this anymore.”

“Well, what do you want?” Robert asked.

“I don’t want to be looked after.”

“But look at the trouble you just got yourself into. If something happened to you, I couldn’t bear it. Believe it or not I do love you.”

“I love you too, Robert. But I want to make my own decisions for myself.” Dylan spoke quietly. “ I want to move out.“

 

Robert lay on his side in the dim room, tracing his fingertips softly down the maze of scars on Aaron’s front, gliding over the skin still wet from the exertion of their love making.

“ I adore you, Aaron Dingle.”  He whispered.

Aaron closed his eyes and tried to force down the smile. Robert shifted slightly.

“Is it uncomfortable?” Aaron winked. He had replaced the plug quickly when they’d come, wanting Robert to keep his cum inside him, wanting him to feel it, to be owned.

“No it’s perfect. It’s you in me.”

They slept on and off. When it got dark Aaron woke him.

“Shouldn’t you go home… to Dylan? Doesn’t he want your help with flat hunting?”

“He doesn’t want any help he says. He doesn’t want my help or my money. Yet, at least. And Lulu is over from New York so she’s giving him a hand. He says he’ll show me a place only after he’s signed a contract. Not before.”

“Good for Dylan.”

“But he does want me to go clubbing with him later. And I can’t say no.”

Aaron bit his lip.

“ And after clubbing, when you take him home, will you sleep with him do you think?”

“You’re the one who didn’t want me to tell him about us, yet. “ Robert answered. “Will you sleep with Ed when he gets back?” He asked.

 

Bar West was heaving. Robert and Dylan descended the stairs side by side into the crowd. Once at the bottom of the stairs, Dylan was greeted by old acquaintances from his clubbing days, each happy to see him and telling him how well he looked.

A group of guys in a booth quickly made room for them to sit. Robert stood up to go to the bar to buy them some drinks, but Dylan held his wrist.

“No. I’ll go.”

“Can you carry the drinks?” Robert asked.

Dylan tutted at him. “I’ll find a way!”

The guy at the bar winked at Dylan and served him with a couple of beers.

‘And a couple of tequila shots.’ Dylan added.

“OK. Those are on me.” the barman said. “ Just come back and see me later, yeah?”

Dylan lowered his eyelids and looked around at Robert looking back at him from where he was sitting.

“Might do.” He laughed.”We’ll see. But meanwhile you couldn't help me carry the drinks?”

The music was loud. Robert let his eyes roam the talent through force of habit. He saw Dylan watch the dance floor and noticed the flicker in his eyes under the confident veneer.

The music changed to something slow. Whitney.

‘Dance with me, Dylan.’ Robert offered.

Dylan shook his head. Couples were already dancing.

‘Dance with me, sweetheart!’ Robert repeated. ‘You know you want to.’

‘How?’

‘We’ll work it out.”

Robert pulled Dylan up and supported him with an arm round his shoulder onto the dance floor. Once there, he turned him so they were face to face and they found a balance and held on. Listening to the music, they started to move together. Robert watched Dylan’s eyes and saw him smile at last.

“Thank you for asking me.” Robert grinned.

“It’s where we met, so I thought maybe it was the best place to say goodbye.”

“Is that what we’re doing?”

“I think it’s best, don’t you?” Robert watched him smile, even though there were unfallen tears in his eyes.

“ I found an apartment today and signed for it. It’s eligible for my benefits office. Lulu really likes it.”

“Then it must be good. So will you let me come and see it?”

“Yes. But. As a friend.”

“With benefits?” Robert smirked.

“No more benefits.” Dylan shook his head with a smile again. Robert watched one tear spill from his deep blue eye and trickle down his cheek. He wanted to tell him he was brave. How proud he was.

Instead he leaned his face slowly forward.

“Well at least for now, I can do this?”

He kissed Dylan’s hairline, then his cheek and his jaw and finally his mouth.

Dylan returned the kiss, reaching up, running his hands gently through Robert’s hair.

“Anyway, Lulu has asked me to go and stay with her in New York for a few weeks.”

“Seriously?

“So I thought if you really wanted to do something for me, you might consider buying me a ticket.”

“So I am a friend with benefits after all?” Robert laughed. “You know I will.” He added.

 

After they sat down and drank one last beer.

“ So are you coming home?” Robert asked.

“ I am. You’re not. You go back to Aaron’s “

Robert looked startled.

Dylan shook his head.

“Come on Robbie, you’ve been with him all week. I’m not an idiot you know. I guess I did my bit though. You wanted my help to come out. And now you’re out. So I guess you two will be able to make it official one of these days.”

“I’m so sorry, Dylan.”

“ It’s OK. You used me. But maybe I wanted to be used. We had our moments.” Dylan answered taking a sip of his beer. “I didn’t want this.” he gestured to his body. “ But it happened because of my heart and so maybe in a stupid twist of fate the accident saved my life. You saved my life, Robbie!” He laughed.

 

The morning sun was shining as Dylan made his way over to the Bed & Breakfast.

“Is Finn here?”

“Oh hello you! You round for some more Dungeons & Dragons?” Tracy smiled at him. She liked Dylan. She felt sorry for him really. Having to put up with Robert Sugden. Handsome as hell but everybody knew he was dead dodgy.  “He should be upstairs cleaning rooms. Shall I call him for you?”

“I can find him.”

“Can you manage the stairs?” Tracy looked at his crutches.

“Watch me.”

Dylan found Finn putting clean sheets on a bed.

He straightened up when Dylan came in the room and blushed a deep red.

“ Dylan? I didn’t expect to see you.” Dylan could hear a thickness in Finn’s voice.

“Have you caught a cold? “

“It would seem so, apparently running around naked on people’s lawns in the middle of February didn’t quite agree with me.”

Dylan looked down smiling.

“Oh. Sorry. Do you regret it then?”

Finn sighed.

“How could I regret it? And ..  Robert didn’t suspect anything then?”

“No I cleared the sheets off the bed and uh jumped in the shower. He had no idea.”

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t very impressive I suppose. I was, well technically, I am still quite out of practice really. I don’t blame you for….”

Dylan leaned forward and kissed him. He leaned back and watched Finn blink back at him, then, taking off his glasses and putting them down on the bedside table, he kissed him again.

They heard a phone ring in the office.

“Finn?  Are you going to answer that?” Tracy shouted upstairs.

Dylan shook his head and Finn locked the door.

Dylan pulled a condom and a packet of lube from his pocket and placed them on the bed.

They undressed hastily reaching for each other’s faces and kissing some more.

Finn started to shake again as he watched Dylan unwrap the condom and felt his slim fingers as he unrolled it down his length, then added lube stroking him slowly, eyes shining up at his face. Dylan lay back over the bed, facing Finn, and lifted his thighs.

“Come on, big boy. Let’s get some practice then!”

“Oh Crickey” Finn said softly, crawling onto the bed and kneeling between Dylan’s bent legs.

“Oh My God”  He added, his heart racing out of control.

Then he pushed in with a gasp.

“Oh Jesus.”

“You like it? “ Dylan whispered.

“Like it? Is a bit... of an understatement.” Finn answered.

He started to thrust in and out. Dylan reached forward and took his hand, entwining their fingers.

“Finn fuuckkk! Fuuuck!”

Finn picked up speed. Then all at once he felt Dylan’s muscles tighten around him.

“Woah! I’m sorry, I’m going to come.”

“And meee!”

He heard Eric’s voice downstairs

“Where’s Finn?”

And he felt his body explode into outer space.

 

They lay next to each other panting, listening amazed to Tracy talk with Eric downstairs.

“What do you mean he went out. He’s supposed to be at work, not gallivanting around Hutton. That’s what I pay him for.”

“I know Eric, but I’m sure he had a good reason. I think he wanted to buy a new knob for that door that was broken, you know, before the guests came and complained about ending up being locked in the room again. Why don’t you go and get a pint and I’ll phone you when he comes.”

“Well do that. He should ask me first.” Eric’s voice slowly faded as he left the building.

“Brilliant! Now I’ve got Eric to worry about as well as Robert.”

Dylan laughed and rolled over him between his thighs, stroking a hand on his broad pale chest, surprised by some chest hair there.

“ Robert and I split.”

“ Wh..what?”  
“It’s a long story, but don’t worry. I’m not .. I mean I don’t.. You don’t have to suddenly offer to be my boyfriend or anything. I’m going to New York anyway. I won’t be around for a few weeks.”

“You won’t be around?” Finn frowned, reaching for his glasses. “What sort of cruelty is that, then?”

“I will come back!”

“I should hope so.”

 

Robert unlocked the door to Clive’s. It was so long since they’d used the apartment.

Aaron had objected. “Why don’t we just go back to mine?”

“Well you were the one complaining about your neighbours and their wagging tongues. Anyway. I’ve got you a surprise.”

“WH…” Aaron turned and looked at Robert in total confusion.

Benjamin was sitting in the bed naked except for a white sheet draped between his muscular thighs.

“So, you bought me a sex toy, I bought you one.”

Aaron stepped backwards.

“No, I uh can’t do this.” He spoke in an undertone.

Robert held Aaron by the waist.

“Yes, you can. His name’s Benjamin. He’ll do whatever we want.” he whispered.

tbc

 


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ed comes back from New Zealand and Dylan leaves for New York. So how will the future unfold for Aaron and Robert?

They gave Ed a morphine injection for the pain and heparin before the flight.

“It’s just a precaution, but with the fracture there is an increased risk of a DVT, and you’re not going to be able to walk about at frequent intervals which is what we would normally recommend for these long haul flights.” The kiwi doctor explained.

He was accompanied by one of the team’s sports therapists with first aid training. Ed was more concerned about letting the team down than he was about his fractured ankle.

He hadn’t called Aaron. He really didn’t want him to worry. He closed his eyes as the plane picked up speed on the runway and smiled at the thought of seeing his husband again very soon.

 

Benjamin knew what Robert liked. He knew that he liked to dominate. That he liked wet tongue. That fingers stroking on his belly would make him leak. He knew that Robert liked to direct, showing, explaining. Benjamin knew exactly when Robert’s pulse increased with his fingers and when to replace them with his cock and then, as he entered, he would find himself on fire, so that sometimes he forgot that Robert was a client.

What he didn’t know was Aaron. He could tell this was his first time doing something like this. So he would follow Robert’s lead.

As Robert steered Aaron naked onto the bed he could see that Aaron was trembling. His cock was so hard it shone and his swollen cock head stretched forwards deep blue.

Robert’s hand cupped Aaron’s chest and his lips ran over his throat. Robert raised his eyes, nodding at Benjamin so that he ran his fingers softly upwards between the inside of Aaron's parted thighs, feeling his inner thigh muscles quiver.

He looked Aaron in the eye and smiled and Aaron turned quickly to Robert on his other side.

“He’s your toy. I bought him for you. Do what you want, Aaron.” 

“So do you..is this something regular? Do you meet each other often?” Aaron’s voice was shaking, his eyes wide.

“Not since Dylan came out of hospital.” Robert answered, suddenly realising Aaron’s source of worry. “When you were back with Ed and you said it was over. Only then.”

Aaron nodded.

“Did you do this … with … with Dylan?”

“No.”

He nodded again.

“You knew I wouldn’t like this though?”

“I knew you wouldn’t like the idea of it, but you’ll like it. Look at you.” Robert let his hand slide down to base of Aaron’s throbbing cock.  “Don’t overthink it. It’s just sex.”

He kissed Aaron’s neck again, and when Aaron turned his face looking for his mouth and pushing with his tongue, he signalled to Benjamin with his eyes and Benjamin lowered his mouth. He used his tongue to lick up over Aaron’s balls, brushing his beard over Aaron’s thighs, and heard him moan. He continued with his tongue, lapping up over the side of his shaft and felt him twitch, then let his lips slide over Aaron’s cock head, sucking down over him so that Aaron couldn’t help himself, and starting bucking his hips upwards, pushing deeper into his throat.

Benjamin reached over to Robert’s cock and started to pull him, but Robert gently removed his hand. Benjamin understood. Instead he looked for Aaron’s hand and steered it to his own cock. Aaron tried to pull his hand away.

“It’s OK. You can touch him. I don’t mind. He’s hot. He’s your toy. You can … fuck him.”

So Aaron started to stroke the rent boy’s cock, enjoying the feel of it slipping between his fingers, admiring his muscular body. It was so long since he’d been with any other man than Ed or Robert. Since the old days, when he would pick up a one nighter at Bar West for a quick fix fuck.

Benjamin used his hands on Aaron’s cock. Robert was watching stroking himself. He leaned down and let his mouth graze over Aaron’s chest and lick over the hard nub of his nipple.

Aaron heart thundered. He pushed his hand down between the rent boy’s thighs and found his entrance and rubbed against his rim. Benjamin obliged by turning over, offering himself and Aaron moved up to his knees and let his hand stroke over his hips. He glanced sideways at Robert who kissed him again.

“Look.” Robert said. He opened a condom and gently slid it over Aaron’s cock, stroking it down over his length. Aaron couldn’t believe he was going to do this with Robert just watching on.

“You sure?”

“Sure. Go on.”

“You OK if , if, if I…. ” Aaron stuttered to Benjamin.

Benjamin tried not to smile.

“Yeah! Come on!” He pushed back in invitation.

Aaron lined up and pushed inside, feeling the hot ring of muscle squeeze around him. He pushed in deep, he couldn’t stop himself and started to pound quickly from his hips, groaning. He couldn’t believe how hot it was, feeling Robert’s eyes on him as he slid in and out of Benjamin’s stretched hole. Panting, he pulled out quickly and pulled off the condom and then Robert’s hand was on him and his mouth was open against him, and he was stroking him fast through his climax until Aaron was spilling cum spraying over Benjamin’s arse and back.

“Fuck! Jesus!” Aaron groaned and Robert was laughing then, moving behind him, pressing cold lube against his hole. Within moments Robert was inside him, rubbing against his prostate with measured strokes, reaching forward with fingers pinching against his nipples. Benjamin had turned and opened his mouth over his still throbbing cock, stroking himself. Aaron had thought he was spent. He opened his mouth with shock as he felt himself building up at breakneck speed to a second climax.

As he felt Robert’s body stiffen behind him and he began to shoot inside him, Aaron cried out as he went over the edge again, feeling Benjamin’s tongue beneath his cock head, sledgehammered by the strength of his orgasm.

Robert held him tightly from behind and rocked him, gasping and chuckling, then pulled him down onto the sheets for a deep kiss.

“Good?” He laughed.

“Fucking Hell! Sugden!” Aaron gasped back at him and closed his eyes, enjoying the drifting of his satiated body on the soft linen sheets.

 

Benjamin, discretely dressing, looked at his phone. He’d got a text message.

_You stopped coming to the dance lessons. I still want to see you. We can meet, maybe talk. I like you, Benjamin. We’ve all been in bad places in our lives. Cesar._

Benjamin touched Robert’s shoulder.

“So I’m off.”

“OK. The envelope…”

“I know. Ciao, Robert. I hope it works out for you.”

 

Robert woke Aaron with kisses to his collarbone and throat.

“Shall we go back to yours? The fridge is empty here.”

Aaron blinked back at him and then nodded.

Back at Aaron’s, Robert cooked them bacon and eggs and Aaron made tea in a pot. Their shoulders rubbed against each other as they moved around the kitchen.

After they ate, Aaron stroked Robert’s arm.

“OK. It was good, exciting, but we won’t do that again, will we? You don’t need that, do you?”

Robert narrowed his eyes.

“I don’t need anything other than you.”

“Then come to bed and show me.” Aaron answered. “Just you and me.”

They made love.

Aaron held onto the bed head with one arm, his other hand against Robert’s cheek, kissing his mouth as he moved over his body. That had been exciting, this was different, this was more, this was about them. Robert lifted his legs around Aaron's hips, so that Aaron, no condom this time, could go deeper as he moved rhythmically inside him.

As they got close, Aaron saw the tears brimming over from Robert’s eyes.

He paused, frowning.

“What?” He asked softly.

Robert’s face crumpled. He looked away.

“I just love you so much. I can’t believe I ever let you go.”

“But we’re here now.”

“Yes, but…”

“Shhh!” Aaron put his fingers on Robert’s lips to silence him. “Not now.”

He started to move again, taking them both to the edge till they came together, sharing their longing and love in the dark, and then, wrapped in each other’s arms, they slept.

 

Ed turned the key in the lock quietly and humped his heavy bag over the welcome mat into the apartment, flinching at the pain and leaning on the single crutch to get back his breath.

Moonlight shone through the open blinds of the living room. He sighed, relieved to be home at last. Tomorrow he had an appointment with the orthopedic surgeon at Leeds General, Dr. Frederic Colman, he hoped he was good.

Now he smiled. He knew Aaron would be in deep sleep. Perhaps he could just slip into their bed beside him without even waking him. He limped towards the bedroom door and opened it slowly.

The light from the half open curtain shone directly on the bed.

Aaron and Robert lay sleeping entwined in each other’s arms. They were facing each other, Robert’s nose in Aaron’s cheek, his open mouth against his throat. Aaron’s arm was over Robert’s shoulder his fingers resting against the skin of his back. His thigh was tucked between Robert’s legs that were bent towards him.

Ed blinked at the sight of the lovers.

He could feel his breathing stop and his heart slow down to zero before racing back to a roaring in his ears.

His universe shifted and his past with Aaron replayed itself like a time lapse movie, showing scenes with looks between Robert and Aaron. He thought about Aaron’s confession about being unfaithful, then the letter in Paris, the job offer from Robert and when they were back, the way Dylan always looked at Aaron so coldly. He remembered Aaron watching Robert and Dylan kiss in Vic’s garden, and after their love making in the Woolpack, and how Aaron had explained “We were in a relationship, I just want you to know.” and his own answer “I don’t need to worry about this, do I?” But of course then there’d been the visitor in Paris, buying cars, the trip to Lille.

And finally he rewinded back to the start. The conversation, when Aaron first came back to Paris and the way he looked out at the Paris lights when he explained. ‘There was somebody, but, he wasn’t a boyfriend. He wasn’t out, actually. And I waited, but… well…,  it’s over now.’ He’d been in love. Aaron had been in love and was running away from it. How had Ed missed it?  It was Robert. It had always been Robert, all along.

Ed started to walk backwards out of the room, and then instead suddenly surged forward, forgetting the pain in his ankle. He grabbed Robert by the shoulder, pulling him roughly from the bed.

“Robert! Robert! Wake up!”

As Robert’s eyes blinked open he was hit by a sledgehammer of a fist and, seeing stars, felt himself fall rapidly to the carpet and into blackness.

 

With his eye swollen tightly closed and shaded dramatically in black and green, Robert hired a chauffeur to collect Dylan and take him to the airport. When Dylan saw Robert’s face he was startled for a moment. Then grinned.

“I guess Ed found out then. Why didn’t I ever think of doing that?” He winked.

Robert grimaced.

”Well I suppose I would have deserved it. From you both.”

At the airport, after helping Dylan check in, they stood facing each other.

“So I’ve got you an open ticket. Just let me know when you want to come back and I can come and pick you up.”

“I think it was me that picked you up, actually, if you recall. I bought you a drink, you didn’t want me to, but I persisted.”

“Yes, I think persistence is one of your defining qualities, Dylan.”

“I intend it to be.” Dylan grinned.

They hesitated, and Dylan leaned forward, kissing Robert’s cheek. Robert held his arm.

“Good Luck sweetheart!” He whispered in his ear.

Dylan moved his mouth and they kissed briefly.

Other people in the airport glanced at them, maybe not accustomed to seeing two men kissing in public. Or perhaps it was Robert’s spectacular black eye, he reflected with a smile.

“Bye, Robbie! See you soon!”

“Dylan! Thanks for helping me you know ...coming out.”

“Make the most of it, then!” Dylan grinned at him, moving forwards quickly on his crutches, until he was lost to sight through the entrance to the departures lounge.

 

Robert took Dylan’s advice and did make the most of it. Aaron and Robert quickly announced to everyone in the Woolpack that they were together and after the initial surprised reactions people settled down and turned their attention to fresh news.

“I knew you’d be missing a bit of rough soon enough!” Ross heckled into his beer before Finn silenced him. Ros turned to Finn. “You’ll be in with a chance with the girly lad yourself now, won’t you.” Then seeing his brother blush regretted his words. “Sorry Finn, didn’t know I was touching a nerve.”

Chas was horrified, of course.

"But what about Ed. He was lovely?"

"We’re getting an annulment."

"But Aaron, why? Why Robert? We all know he’s trouble!"

"Because I love him." Aaron replied simply. "He’s the one."

 

Robert brought in the builders and decorators, but afterwards sold the cottage anyway and instead bought a small converted farmhouse up beyond the scrap yard with leaky taps and gaps in the window frames that let the icy wind through. Aaron moved in and they made it home, keeping each other warm.

Robert was as happy as he’d ever been in his life, but he didn’t dare tell anyone in case it broke the spell. Everyone knew anyway. Vic, Diane and Andy would watch his face secretly as he looked at Aaron, eyes shining. They nudged each other, thankful that finally he was alright, that he’d found peace with himself, that they could let go of that burden of worry. Diane went to talk to Jack at the grave. She told him everything, that he would be proud to see his successful son in a loving relationship, leading a fulfilled life. She hoped she was right.

 

It rained all April and the start of May too, and then suddenly there was a warm dry day, an early reminder that summer wasn’t far away. Punters at the Woolpack took their beers and braved the tables outside. Robert sat in his leather jacket at one of the pub garden tables, the wood still damp and dark, Aaron next to him. He pulled out his Gucci sunglasses and put them on, rewarded by a snort from Aaron. They sat quietly side by side, Robert’s hand resting on the back of Aaron’s shoulders, a finger lingering against his neck.

“Drink up and we can go home.” he murmured.

"And…?"

"You know…"

Finn was standing with Pete and Ross, glancing across at them. Finally he walked over.

"Alright?"

They smiled up at him, squinting at the unexpected sun.

"Just wondered if there was any news from.. Dylan?"

Aaron turned down the corners of his mouth and looked at Robert. Finn went on.

"I’m starting to wonder if he’ll ever come home at all. Three weeks I think he said and now it’s been, what,  three months?"

“New York must have a lot of attractions for a nineteen year old I suppose.” Robert shrugged.

Finn nodded.

“Course, you’re right, not that I would know, but I expect you’re right.”

He hesitated then moved away and Robert smirked, to be rewarded by an elbow in the ribs from Aaron.

“Be nice.”

“I am nice!” Robert moved his mouth close to Aaron’s ear and whispered.  “Let’s go home and I’ll prove it to you.”

 

The next day Robert got a phone call, unexpected, but not necessarily unwelcome.

“Robbie! I’ve booked a flight. I’m coming home for a visit.”

“A visit?”

“Yeah. I want to see Mum and Dad and… other people. You’ll never believe what’s happened. I’ve got a role in a series. It’s a sort of Glee come murder mystery. I auditioned and bam I got the part! I want to see everyone, then I need to be in New York again by the end of July.”

“Really? Well done! I’m really glad for you.”

 He glanced at Aaron sitting in the garden, biting his lip over the sports page in the paper. “Text me your flight details and I’ll pick you up.”

“You sure about that?”

“Finn was asking after you.”

“Finn? Yeah course! Finn!”

Dylan laughed.

Robert upgraded Dylan to business. It would be a nice surprise for him.

 

“Another Tequilla?”

The steward touched his shoulder briefly. The lad was so attractive, amazing eyes and a well formed body, tight muscles in his arms and chest. The steward would, given the chance, go there. He’d brightened up the routine Atlantic crossing. He wondered if they could exchange numbers if he played it right.

There was another hour to go to London. The lad, Dylan Fisher was his name on the passenger list, unfastened his belt.

“Bathroom.” He smiled.

His smile was like sunshine.

“Do you want me to get the … walking aide?”

“No!  Really! I can manage. It’s sort of image really. I’m an actor.”

The steward watched him as he negotiated his way down the aisle.

The turbulence was so sudden that he had to hold on tightly to the back of the seat where he was standing, catching a passenger’s hair in his fingers so that they snapped at him.

“OUCH! Careful!”

He saw Dylan fall and stepped forward quickly, helping him to his feet, enjoying the chance to hold his body. He saw his hand reach at his chest.

“Dylan, Mr Fisher! Are you OK?”

Dylan laughed and fluttered his eyelids. “I’m fine I’m fine! And thank you for rescuing me!”

He read the flight attendant’s name tag. “Alex!” he added.

 

Robert waited in the arrivals hall watching the door, reading messages on his phone. Lulu had texted him.

_T **ake care of my gorgeous boy and send him back in one piece, Robert. Don’t mess with his head.** _

**_It’s all in the past._ **

**_To you maybe._ **

 

Aaron texted.

 

**_What am I doing wrong? My Yorkshire puddings are flat, you muppet. I don’t know why you talked me into this. You set me up!_ **

**_And when are you home? Hasn’t he landed yet?_ **

**_The flight was delayed._ **

He texted back.

 

Then he got the text from Dylan.

**_Just landed. I’ll be out soon. I’ve got a surprise for you. You’ll be amazed._ **

 

And then looking up he saw him, grinning, walking towards him. Walking, literally walking out the door on his own two legs. Yes, he was limping, yes he was holding a crutch in the air, but he was definitely walking. Robert blinked at the sight.

“Robbie!” He shouted  “Look at me. You were right all along. I went to a physio in New York and we worked everyday and I’m going to be able to walk!”

Robert shook his head.

“Maybe I’ll dance again one day. You see!” He grinned. “Maybe just hip hop in the clubs, but it’ll do, won’t it?”

He turned a 360 degree turn.

Robert answered him with a smile.

“You idiot!”

“I love you, Robbie!”

They hugged and kissed cheeks.

“Got someone here to see you.”

Finn stepped up from where he’d been waiting.

“Finn!”  Dylan staggered forward and kissed him hard on the mouth. “ Let me buy you a drink!”

As they were walking out of the arrivals, Dylan’s phone buzzed.

“Just a moment.”

He read the text.

**_Can't wait to see you at midnight at Bar West. Alex xx_ **

Dylan smiled and put his phone away.

 

***********************************************************************************

As soon as the annulment came through, Robert and Aaron married quietly at a small civil ceremony attended by family and friends. They live in Emmerdale with two children and another one on the way with the same surrogate mother. Robert wakes up everyday, still wondering if Aaron will love him for the next twenty four hours, will put up with his mistakes, will forgive the past. But it’s Aaron who wakes up first. He moves closer to his sleeping husband and whispers _I love you,_ so that Robert can hear him in his dreams before he wakes, and then watches him smile.

Finn went to New York to visit Dylan but found life in the Big Apple just a little too fast and furious for his taste. He lives in Emmerdale, in hope that one day soon he’ll meet someone and fall in love, a hope shared by his brother Ross, who continues to berate him for not making a move sooner on Robert when he had the chance.

Ed’s ankle completely healed with the attentive help of Dr. Frederick Colman. It wasn’t long before the doctor patient relationship developed into something more. Ed relocated back to Paris and Fred got a job with a hospital there, too. They live together in an apartment not far from the district of Montmatre, enjoying all the diversions the city has to offer.

Benjamin and Cesar married. Cesar still teaches latin dance. Benjamin went to college as a mature student and retrained as a tailor, using his talented hands to make clothes, rather than make love, except to his very fortunate husband of course. When they adopted a baby boy, Benjamin’s life became complete. He thanks God everyday for how beautiful his life turned out and for his perfect family.

Dylan received critical acclaim for his role in the new popular drama series, which ran for four seasons. He was offered roles in film and is currently filming on location in Ireland. He persisted with his physio and now, as he dreamed, he can dance, not as a performer, but in his living room or in a club, just for the joy of it. He has had a number of relationships, but he is still waiting for something as amazing as he had with Robert. One day, he believes, he will find _the one_ , or as Clive put it, he will find _his Aaron._

 

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the story. If you know my writing you know it's always a bit quirky so thank you for putting up with that and thank you for reading!


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